[SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

[poxic]

I'm not sure it's possible to get 100% successful removal, even professionally. Most times I've had waxing done, the waxing-person finished the job with tweezers.

[PictureSarah]

Oh, there were tweezers. And there are a few tiny stray hairs left in the area that she finished with tweezers - understandable. What is less understandable are the spots she seems to have totally missed.

[Virtual_Aardvark]

Question: I got the copper coil inserted on monday and I'm still cramping and bleeding. The cramps are extremely mild and the flow stays between light and spotting. It's enough that it's annoying and the clinician told me that since there's no hormones the IUD wouldn't start Shark Week and that the spotting wouldn't last more than a day. So how long should I expect this to last for/is it normal to have cramps and bleeding for three days after getting paragard in?

[PictureSarah]

I'm not sure I ever stopped having cramps after I had the Paragard put in...but I can't remember how long the bleeding lasted. Sorry, that is not a particularly helpful response.

[existential_elevator]

When I had it, I basically had a minor period. That was with a copper IUD. Probably about 4 - 6 days of medium to light bleeding, and a lot of cramping. Settled down after that, though. Your mileage may vary, and all that. It seems understandable that this kind of thing would induce a period, especially if you're prone to stress-induced periods (like me )

[mochafairy]

I thought this would make some of you giggle:

I have a migraine, so when I read, I'm half guessing which means that some things don't make sense.
Today I was good enough to go pick up prescriptions (yay?), and the pharmacy is conveniently located on the other side of the alcohol. So as I'm making my way over there, I saw some beer that looked like it said "Lady Shark". I was like "Gee Willikers there's a booze maker that reads the woman thread on xkcd!" and I started laughing, getting some very weird looks. Turns out that it's called "Land Shark" (I took the time to read it on the way back out).

[poxic]

and the pharmacy is conveniently located on the other side of the alcohol.

I was wondering what sort of spellchecker mayhem this was, until I finished reading your post and figured it out. (I was expecting "other side of the street" or something, I think.)

[Jumble]

Err, anyone watching the opening ceremony? Erm, I think we are celebrating the joy of British eccentricity through the ages. Hang on, isimbard kingdom Branagh is about to speak...

Sorry, I'll go to screeches where I thought I was!

[Cathy]

I've got a question for any women who feel comfortable answering. I know it is a somewhat touchy and controversial subject, so I'll spoiler the question and ask that if you want to have a debate on it to please PM me instead of straight replying in the thread. It's about something I've been experiencing more and more and have ended up worrying about.

Spoiler:

Do you, being a woman, feel like you can 'get away with' saying or doing things that would not be tolerated if you were a man?
I've realized when hanging out with friends, especially male dominated friend groups, I can tell people to shove it or 'shut down' a particular line of conversation (especially when I'm uncomfortable with it) and it is tolerated. However, if a guy in the group does something similar, he would more likely be ignored. Also, I can be more suggestive (dirty jokes) and people (especially girls) seem much more comfortable than if a guy did it.
While it can be fun or convenient to take advantage of feeling like I can get away with shit, it just seems... weird.

I just kind of want some feedback here, I guess.

[bluebambue]

I've got a question for any women who feel comfortable answering. I know it is a somewhat touchy and controversial subject, so I'll spoiler the question and ask that if you want to have a debate on it to please PM me instead of straight replying in the thread. It's about something I've been experiencing more and more and have ended up worrying about.

Spoiler:

Do you, being a woman, feel like you can 'get away with' saying or doing things that would not be tolerated if you were a man?
I've realized when hanging out with friends, especially male dominated friend groups, I can tell people to shove it or 'shut down' a particular line of conversation (especially when I'm uncomfortable with it) and it is tolerated. However, if a guy in the group does something similar, he would more likely be ignored. Also, I can be more suggestive (dirty jokes) and people (especially girls) seem much more comfortable than if a guy did it.
While it can be fun or convenient to take advantage of feeling like I can get away with shit, it just seems... weird.

I just kind of want some feedback here, I guess.

Spoilered for feminism

Spoiler:

I would say I have encountered that dynamic. I think it is more acceptable to women to shut down a particular line of conversation is because when you do that you are basically saying "this is making my emotions do bad things and I would like to talk about something else." Emotions are considered more girly traits, so men who want to do that can get laughed at for being girly.

I think the ability to make innuendo is due to that society perceives men to be more predatory sexually. Women can be uncomfortable with men making innuendo because they feel threatened. Men, in general, do not feel threatened by women talking about/initiating sex stuff.

[poxic]

Spoilered for unformed, partially-educated rambling about spoilered feminism-related topic:

Spoiler:

I don't quite know what to make of the "women get away with stuff" thing. Since women are treated like children in many ways in our culture, maybe it's similar to how a child is treated in adult company. Maybe it's because men can grow up believing that women are irrational or mysterious, so they're hesitant to tangle with one the way they might verbally wrassle with another man. Or maybe men hear the echoes of their mothers, who were not to be argued with when she took "that tone". Or all or none of the above.

Human behaviour is hella complicated, sometimes, and also hella simple sometimes. And it's hard to tell when something is which, sometimes.

[Sungura]

Spoilered for feminism related topic of which I have thought about myself and come to the following personal conclusions.

Spoiler:

I've noticed kinda a similar thing...I struggle with if I should feel good or bad about sometimes taking advantage of it. I think part of it is just how we interact though, as people.

I think comfortability with jokes (including dirty ones, which uh...so much in caving has double entedres and it can get bad at times, LOL) more comes from familiarity between the people rather than male or female making it. It's like the whole you cant jump into a group and expect to be loved immedietly before anyone knows who you are, have to step back and view group dynamics.

I'm not all that great with social interaction and half the time dont notice the obvious but i'm getting better, and the conclusion I've come to personally is that while yes, we all need to be treated as equals, that doesn't mean we have to think or behave the same way. There are still advantages to being male in today's society. If we can find ways to have advantage as females, that just helps equals things up. We'll never be the same, we have strengths and weakness as a part of who we are (gender/sex/etc aside, just people as a whole).

[Cathy]

I really appreciate the responses.

[PictureSarah]

Yesterday I told two of my (very sheltered, very Catholic) coworkers about my DivaCup. They were shocked but intrigued, but told me that they hadn't even dared to try tampons until their 30s because the idea of touching themselves/sticking something inside themselves was so taboo. Today, they had shared the news with another (slightly more liberated) coworker, and they all wanted to see it. I showed it to them and explained more or less how it worked...imagine my dismay when one of them (40 years old with three children) asked how I peed with it in. I had to carefully explain that the uterus/vagina and bladder/urethra were completely separate from each other, and the DivaCup had no impact on urination.

[mochafairy]

I had a Dr. visit with an OBYGN.

I have to say: she is an awesome doctor.

No slut shaming. Very open to the idea of me getting an IUD. Very willing to work with me and my many medical conditions. In fact, she has other patients with type one diabetes, and the PA has a family member with it as well.

They were both excited about me wanting to get control before trying for kids, and knowledgeable about diabetics having children.

I'd totes recommend her if anyone is looking for one in my area.

[existential_elevator]

Yesterday I told two of my (very sheltered, very Catholic) coworkers about my DivaCup. They were shocked but intrigued, but told me that they hadn't even dared to try tampons until their 30s because the idea of touching themselves/sticking something inside themselves was so taboo. Today, they had shared the news with another (slightly more liberated) coworker, and they all wanted to see it. I showed it to them and explained more or less how it worked...imagine my dismay when one of them (40 years old with three children) asked how I peed with it in. I had to carefully explain that the uterus/vagina and bladder/urethra were completely separate from each other, and the DivaCup had no impact on urination.

Wow.
But on the other hand, really great that you're in a place where you can talk about that kind of stuff with your coworkers

...to be fair, though, sometimes it does affect my urination, but only if my cervix is low and it manages to push on my urethra

[KestrelLowing]

Yesterday I told two of my (very sheltered, very Catholic) coworkers about my DivaCup. They were shocked but intrigued, but told me that they hadn't even dared to try tampons until their 30s because the idea of touching themselves/sticking something inside themselves was so taboo. Today, they had shared the news with another (slightly more liberated) coworker, and they all wanted to see it. I showed it to them and explained more or less how it worked...imagine my dismay when one of them (40 years old with three children) asked how I peed with it in. I had to carefully explain that the uterus/vagina and bladder/urethra were completely separate from each other, and the DivaCup had no impact on urination.

Wow.
But on the other hand, really great that you're in a place where you can talk about that kind of stuff with your coworkers

...to be fair, though, sometimes it does affect my urination, but only if my cervix is low and it manages to push on my urethra

It can push on your bladder and make you want to pee more often. And she could have been talking about if muscles would be weird or something (I wasn't sure if I could defecate with it in as I wasn't sure if the muscles would force the cup out - I can see how someone could wonder about that).

[Blackdomino]

I bought a Diva cup (similar brand can't remember exactly) years ago. Couldn't get it in. I figured this was because I was still a virgin. Waited until after, nope still couldn't get it in. Two years later I'd given birth, well now I can get it in but it leaks. Grr, sigh.
Contraceptives, tried the pill which worked fine until I had to go on other medication that interfered with it. Pill had to go. Condoms work fine too. Now using nothing because trying to get pregnant, so far that seems the most effective of all!

[UniqueScreenname]

Pros and cons of DivaCup GO!

[Cassi]

Pros:
- More cost effective
- More comfortable (possibly a personal thing, and will only apply after a bit of use and learning the best position for it)
- Better for the environment
- Never have that awkward moment at someone else's house when they don't have a bin in their bathroom
- Can be used for really light or really heavy flow, and holds more than pads/tampons

Cons:
- Can take some getting used to, both inserting and removing
- Can be a bit of a pain in public toilets, especially at first
- Means there is just one thing that you have to be sure not to lose (this is probably mostly a me thing; while I very rarely properly lose anything, I often misplace things for a while, which doesn't really work with something I need at a specific time every month...I now have two Moon Cups)


In other news, for the first time I think ever I am spotting in the middle of my cycle which is weird and annoying. I thought maybe I'd just gotten really confused about dates or something but I checked and no, Shark Week isn't due for 2 weeks...

[cephalopod9]

Pros:
-no wrappers, garbage, crinkling, etc.
-it doesn't run out
-you buy one once a year, or less often
-it holds a lot, and you don't have to worry about wasting heavy products on a light day, or ending the day with a dry tampon.
-much less likely to slip out (almost impossible in my experience)
-it doesn't get soggy if you go swimming or shower
-you can keep track of your flow if you know how much it holds

Cons:
-if your grip slips while you're putting it in, you can flick yourself in the vagina kinda hard(actually only had this problem with the moon cup, and I don't think I ever bruised anything, but oof.) , or else drop $40 in the toilet.
-sometimes makes some weird noises going in or out.
-I think I end up using more toilet paper, haven't measured exactly.
-You wash your hands more often (although, you probably shouldn't be putting in tampons with dirty fingers either)

In my opinion, it's definitely worth a try if you heavy or inconsistent periods.

[KestrelLowing]

Pro:
Can put it in before you even have any sort of bleeding
Way cheaper (I bought my Diva cup 3 years ago. I'm only now thinking of replacing it and just because it's a bit discolored)
Easier to carry a period's worth of supplies
Much easier, lighter and less gross for backcountry use (treat waste as poop - don't have to carry out tampons/pads)
Easy to forget about
Can go much longer without changing cup than without changing pad or tampon
Works well for swimming
No problem peeing or defecating with it in.
Can also use between periods if you're having a particularly .... leaky mucus type day (I can't be the only one, can I?)
Has erased all fears I used to have about tampons leaking or pads shifting

Cons:
Can get fingers bloody
Takes time to get it right
Public restrooms can be awkward
Washing/disinfecting cup when in an apartment full of guys is interesting
So easy to forget about you'll forget to empty it until it overflows
Can occasionally be a bit uncomfortable to put in if you're just not 'in the mood'
Can push on the bladder and make you want to go more
Is rather, intimate if you're not used to that sort of thing (but I highly recommend trying anyway - I wasn't terribly comfortable when I started using it)
Some people will find it really gross, possibly including significant others

[Sungura]

Pro:
Reusable
Clean (feels cleaner to use than anything else to me, like, no dirty pads or tampons to deal with)
Keeps track of flow better
Deals with chunkyness great
Comfortable
Doesnt absorb up fluids so no dryscratchy feeling

Con:
Scared to use it with my IUD so I dont
Bloody fingers when messing with it
Hard to get to sit right...I used one for like a year and still a few times over the course of a shark week it wouldnt catch a drop, so I always had to have a pad on. But then again for the first time ever my new gyno down here I went to said my uterus is slightly tilted so I wonder if maybe that was why it was hard to get in accurately all the time?

Actually I think I still have two of them, if anyone wants to try one and they're in a spot that it's hard to get one (I have the Melunas, a small and medium I think) and you don't mind one that was used (I'm free of any std's, and they have been sterilized of course) I'd be willing to work out sending one to ya, just PM me. They aren't doing me any good since I"m scared to use them with my IUD, and my IUD is staying for the long haul if I can help it!

Anyone here have an IUD and use one still? I was never able to break suction before pulling it out so that's why I'm really worried to use one with my IUD. Thoughts?

[Virtual_Aardvark]

I have an IUD (paragard) and have gone several periods with my diva cup and no problems. At the insertion I asked the clinician specifically and she says she's never heard of it doing anything to the device. From previous posts it sounds like you've never had IUD related problems (from the sound of it your insertion was easier than mine and the doc said mine was fairly ideal). Obvs YMMV but it shouldn't be a huge risk.

[existential_elevator]

I also use mine with an IUD - have done for a year or so, and not had any issues.

[Cassi]

I've had my IUD for 2.5 years and have used my mooncup with it for all but the first month (and the month I lost it). I've never had any issues and don't really even think about it anymore, tbh.

[semicharmed]

I also have an IUD (since 03/2010) and use a DivaCup (since 10/2010). I tend to remove the cup by getting a finger almost up to the rim and popping it inward, depending on where the cup is sitting this means it's not as clean a removal as I'd prefer... but better than just yanking it down. Usually I end up with one finger more or less bloody, but I have the Paragard, and it definitely has made things chunkier, and neither pads nor tampons ever did a good job of dealing with the chunks.

My IUD strings are pretty well curled around my cervix most of the time; and I usually try to re-curl them if they slip down because otherwise I tend to notice leaking, I think the strings can act as a wick/channel. And I've never worried about not breaking suction enough; if I don't pop the suction before removing the cup, even a gentle tug down make me uncomofortable and I imagine I'd need to work up some pretty insane suction to even wiggle the IUD around.

[Sungura]

Hrm good to know!

Uhrm I have a question for the peeps here....anyone ever tried the chemical hair removal stuff? Like Nair or whateverall else? I do like the moom but it takes forever and is pretty expensive, being able to spray something on and wipe it all off seems easier. I'm thinking mostly for my legs up to my knees, they get so beat up anyway I swear I hardly have nerves left in them, but I worry about putting disolve-y chemicals on my skin for any reason...maybe becuase I've worked in the lab too long ha. Any experience with such hair removals and what did you think?

[RollingHead]

I tried a cream marketed in Italy as Veet, it took less than 5 minutes and then had to be delicately scraped off with a spatula (taking the hair with it) and rinsed, it didn't do a perfect job but that was almost certainly because I spread it unevenly. I haven't tried it a second time because the box said to wait a few days, but I'm happy with the results.

[existential_elevator]

I use them from time to time. Not as effective as waxing but less painful. Kind of fun to watch in action if you're a little nerdy I find it a bit annoying, as you have to cover yourself in cream and wait around awkwardly trying not to touch anything for a while. Make sure your house / bathroom is warm enough to be largely nude in!

[mochafairy]

I've tried Veet, mainly because I was getting sick of shaving. I have fairly sensitive skin (like, I can't be in the shower for too long or I'll try clawing off my skin, kind of sensitive), so it wasn't the best solution for me. I didn't get any chemical burns, but it itched like hell even after washing and taking Benedryl and slathering on anti-itch stuff and putting ice packs on my legs.

[Ashlah]

I tried one once. Can't remember if it was Veet or Nair. I remember it being more effort than it was worth (for me). My legs weren't as smooth as if I just shaved, it took longer than shaving, and it was smelly.

[PictureSarah]

I've tried it on my legs before, but it was a really long time ago. I remember it being smelly and annoying. I use it fairly regularly on my upper lip, though.

[suffer-cait]

we use nair on my bf sometimes. i would not want that on me in all honesty. I wax.

[Sungura]

Hrm, I thought it disolved the entire hair even the root. So you use it just the same way as shaving then, and have to do it just as often? I'm trying to find an easier way than mooming since it takes forever to do that and it's pretty expensive and it's damn annoying to have a few days of good legs, grow out ten days, do it again, etc. The only time it's worth it is when I'll be out backpakcing and stuff for a week or so because I can't shave, and personally I can't stand hair on my legs. Long, it's super hot and extra sticky especially in humidity, and short it's just stubbly and pokey which is horrible on open pores from sweating so I just basically want it gooooone for at least a week at a time, without having to wait 10-14 days to do something to get it gone for another week. Hope that makes sense?

[existential_squirrrel]

I tried Nair for a while because I got sick of shaving... it ended up being an utter fail with me

[existential_elevator]

@Sungura, it does last a lot longer than shaving, but not as long as waxing. I seem to remember being good for around 7 - 10 days. I generally use it as a quick fix if I'm on holiday and can't afford to pay someone to wax me (which at the moment, is all the time). Once you have the hang of it, it is reasonably quick to do, but does take some practice. I'd expect to be done in half an hour, 45 minutes maybe. I would guess that if you were actually good at it, you'd be able to do it in 20 minutes, perhaps 15 You can also get varieties which are designed to be shower-safe, which in theory is even more time economical. I also remember that you don't need to have full hair growth to get decent results. It needs to be a bit longer than stubble, but not by much. Again, though, you're working with my shady memories. I think it's worth a go to see if it suits what you need. If smell is an issue you can also get perfumed ones nowadays.

[RollingHead]

I didn't specify- I used Veet on my "bikini area" (as the box refers to it) and found it easier than shaving, but I find my legs very easy to shave so I didn't even bother with the cream.

[PerchloricAcid]

Epilators anybody?

[poxic]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH

(Approximately.)