Joke Skills

Things that don't belong anywhere else. (Check first).

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Phi
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Postby Phi » Mon Jul 16, 2007 6:55 am UTC

crazyjimbo wrote:I know a lot of jokes, but I'm crap at telling them so I learnt a few years ago not to bother. I'm much more of a say or do something funny when the opportunity arises. Timing is everything.

So, I think of myself as a funny guy, but only surrounded by the right people. I'd suck a stand up.

Hello, me. I'd like you to meet myself.

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Postby CorranH » Mon Jul 16, 2007 8:23 pm UTC

ccromwell wrote:I'm known pretty well for my wit (which does not often include sarcasm -gasp!), but not for my ability to tell jokes. I would be the perfect straight-man or sidekick to a comedian - I work well around other funny people, and I think that the ultimate sin is to laugh at your own joke. In fact, I happen to think that at least half of being funny is learning to keep a straight face in the face of a bunch of people laughing at you.


Ooh, good post. I'm going to respond to this before I finish the thread, because I like this. It fits me pretty well. I'm fairly funny guy, in terms of just bullshitting and whatnot, and I'm actually a pretty good joke-teller too. I know lots of 'em (almost all dirty), and tell them fairly well, though I do have a tendency to spend too long on the set-up, so I have to keep an eye on that.

But I make an awesome straight-man. I do work very well around other funny people, and have a good knack for helping someone with a set up for a joke or funny action/line.

Also, your mention of not laughing at your own jokes seems very sound. A lot of my style of humor is very dead-pan, but I also get goofy or silly sometimes, and I think that would be a good tip to keep in mind. I'll check back in a month and let you know if my friends think I'm any funnier. :D
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Tractor
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Postby Tractor » Mon Jul 16, 2007 8:44 pm UTC

Well, I'll chalk myself up with those who aren't so good telling the canned jokes, but can go for spontaneous humor.

Or attempted humor anyhow. I have a bad habit of going for puns >.<
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Postby space_raptor » Mon Jul 16, 2007 8:50 pm UTC

I am above averagely funny.

But for some reason, whenever I'm around drunk people, I get about three times as funny. It's pretty neat.
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Postby dubsola » Thu Jul 19, 2007 4:32 pm UTC

What is a sheep with no legs...


....



... a cloud.

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Postby Alisto » Thu Jul 19, 2007 8:23 pm UTC

I have great comedic timing and delivery isn't a problem for me. However, my brand of humor is mostly improv, off-the-cuff based on a conversation I'm in, and inside jokes. Those things do not translate well to the stage. "How's everybody doing tonight! ...ok, talk amongst yourselves, and I'll interrupt at the appropriate moments."

To do stand up, I'd have to go the Carlos Mencia route and steal other comedians' jokes.
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Postby SecondTalon » Thu Jul 19, 2007 9:03 pm UTC

I have a tendency to grind a joke into the ground until it's no longer funny.
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qu
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Postby qu » Thu Jul 19, 2007 9:11 pm UTC

A robot walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve your kind," and the robot replies "OH BUT YOU WILL."


Man, I can't tell no jokes. I'm not even sure why my friends think I'm funny. I probably just talk weird or something. I really appreciate witty people, though.

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Postby wesaq » Fri Jul 20, 2007 6:15 am UTC

I can't tell any jokes, but i really like to tell some inside jokes in a group of people, there only 1 or 2 know them. I also like to citate such things as Hitchhikers guide or monty python. But doesn't work well, because there are only a little amount of people who can get them.

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Postby Hypothetical Lighthouse » Fri Jul 20, 2007 6:25 am UTC

I have mad joke-telling skills.




About once a week.

Anyway, I can't remember the exact wording, but a friend of mine made a wonderful joke about the Northern Passage yesterday. Anyone who can make Northern Passage jokes deserves major accolades.
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Postby Robin S » Sun Aug 26, 2007 8:42 am UTC

I am noted (or like to think that I am) by most of my friends for my wit, but it's a very specific sort of wit which flits between the slightly silly or eccentric and the sarcastic, and probably wouldn't be that appealing to the population at large. Also, I can't be funny on demand - it just sort of happens sometimes that I say amusing things.

I am absolutely rubbish at telling other people's jokes.

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Postby ChooChoo » Sun Aug 26, 2007 8:49 am UTC

Robin S wrote:I am noted (or like to think that I am) by most of my friends for my wit, but it's a very specific sort of wit which flits between the slightly silly or eccentric and the sarcastic, and probably wouldn't be that appealing to the population at large. Also, I can't be funny on demand - it just sort of happens sometimes that I say amusing things.

I am absolutely rubbish at telling other people's jokes.


I'm kinda the same way.

I'm terrible at telling stories; I often find myself telling "you had to have been there" stories that turn out to be really dumb in the middle.

But I guess I just have a weird way of making my friends laugh when we just talk.

If someone were to say, "Do/say something funny!" though, I would be lost.

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Postby Emmaskillz » Sun Aug 26, 2007 1:14 pm UTC

I totally lose at telling jokes, I'm not incredibly witty either, but somehow I always have people laughing at me. It's probably because of all the retarded things I do and say. I have gotten used to people just laughing at me because I'm me. I laugh too so it's entertaining.

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Postby davef » Sun Aug 26, 2007 2:11 pm UTC

I, too, fail at telling jokes. I love really bad/cheesy pun based jokes, and I always laugh when I tell them, but no-one else does. Fail :?
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Postby liability » Sun Aug 26, 2007 2:20 pm UTC

I have wit, which comes out more with people I know well.... but I reckon what I'm good at is creating running gags. Not like an in-joke, based on something that only one group of friends knows, but something that lasts for one evening or so with whoever happened to be there.

And puns. Puns pwn.

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Postby PythonNewb » Sun Aug 26, 2007 2:24 pm UTC

LE4dGOLEM wrote:I AM AWESOME.


No really.

I am.



...
See, this was irony, which makes it funny even though it wouldn't nor-- ah forget it.


I also appreciate irony... usually I comment on the irony of a situation, rather than come up with a normal joke, so the response isn't that big. Usually people are like, "WTF?"

I'm more into challenging ideas and situations than making people laugh, although I used to be damn good at it... but only w/friends anyway, and so that was all situational, little in-jokes.

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Postby Rippy » Sun Aug 26, 2007 3:01 pm UTC

I find I'm good at coming up with my own simple humour during conversation, but I'm no good at telling jokes (and I usually ruin them because I forget parts)

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Postby scrt_rbt_agnt » Sun Aug 26, 2007 3:44 pm UTC

i can be vaguely witty at times, but most of the time, i just rely on ridiculousness in order to up the funny factor. unfortunately, some people take me way too seriously when i'm being ridiculous and get offended. i would say that i probably offend people REALLY easily.

most of the hilarious moments of my life have been inside jokes though. i honestly can't stand when people use jokes they've seen on SNL, simpsons, MADtv, family guy, scrubs, etc... as their entire sense of humor. this drives me nuts.
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Postby xooll » Mon Aug 27, 2007 3:06 am UTC

I've been told on numerous occasions that I have a very "dry" sense of humor.
I am not sure what this means.
So, I got tired of the fact that the appearance of my band name in my signature made my posts on this forum the dominant result when googling for my music. Anyway, if you think I might happen to be a good musician, you can test this theory here.

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Postby epershandrea » Mon Aug 27, 2007 3:10 am UTC

davef wrote:I, too, fail at telling jokes. I love really bad/cheesy pun based jokes, and I always laugh when I tell them, but no-one else does. Fail :?

I always laugh too loudly at jokes like that.

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Postby antonfire » Mon Aug 27, 2007 3:45 am UTC

I'm pretty bad at telling jokes, and my repartee repertoire pretty much consists of "your mom". I tend to make totally nonsensical your mom jokes in the hope that the sheer absurdity will get some laughs. Sometimes it works, especially when I'm around sleep-deprived people.

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Postby curious and questioning » Mon Aug 27, 2007 4:58 am UTC

Usually I laugh too much if it's funny enough that I remember it. I also laugh at things that are kind of stupid and not funny. And I love inside jokes when I understand them. The feeling of inclusion +funny=:D

A fish is swimming and it hits its head on a concrete wall. What does it say?
...
...
...
...
Dam.

(ha, ha, ha)
[insert quote here]

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Postby (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ » Mon Aug 27, 2007 1:34 pm UTC

I'm pretty sure that I'm fucking hilarious. Or hilariawesome.
I do have a really dry sense of humor, and I can be really morbid. I like to deliver jokes in a complete deadpan voice, especially if that's totally inappropriate. I don't know if I'm really funny or if people are just humoring me, but occasionally I'll meet new people and I can tell they're NOT AT ALL on my wavelength when every time I say anything, they giggle and say "Oh me yarm you're SO FUNNY." Cause I'm not *that* funny. Or at least, I'm not trying to be that funny. I'm just really really sarcastic.

I don't know how good I am at actual jokes though, cause I called up scrt_rbt_agnt yesterday just to tell him a joke and he didn't laugh. Then again, it was one of those jokes that is only funny if you're running on 3 hours of sleep in a weekend, and have had far too much coffee. So you never know.
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Maseiken
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Postby Maseiken » Tue Aug 28, 2007 9:45 am UTC

I'm pretty sure that I'm fucking hilarious. Or hilariawesome.
I do have a really dry sense of humor, and I can be really morbid. I like to deliver jokes in a complete deadpan voice, especially if that's totally inappropriate. I don't know if I'm really funny or if people are just humoring me, but occasionally I'll meet new people and I can tell they're NOT AT ALL on my wavelength when every time I say anything, they giggle and say "Oh me yarm you're SO FUNNY." Cause I'm not *that* funny. Or at least, I'm not trying to be that funny. I'm just really really sarcastic.

I also sometimes steal material...
"GRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOWR!!!!"
(Translation: "Objection!")

Maseiken had the ball at the top of the key...

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Postby The Dork Knight » Mon Sep 10, 2007 7:15 pm UTC

I'm pretty funny. I'm so funny that most of the things average people find funny are boring and old hat to me. So "jokes" are out of the question, and by "jokes" I mean the standardly formatted story with a punchline at the end type.

I'm good at making quick witty replies, and I come up with lots of one liners. It's how I get bosses and coworkers to like me.

This is the only thing that I actually know I'm good at. Science, aquariums, sewing...I enjoy all that but I know I'm not that great. But when it comes to humor, I can kick most people's asses.
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GusPatsy
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Postby GusPatsy » Wed Sep 12, 2007 5:18 am UTC

Please don't steal material and please don't add music to a viable stand-up act. That is all.
Alisto wrote:
GusPatsy wrote:I would like a title that references something I don't get, and would take hours to figure out, eventually leaving me disappointed.


"Sex"

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Postby Khonsu » Wed Sep 12, 2007 5:22 am UTC

I've been told that if I could survive drinking half a bottle of vodka, I'd make the best stand-up comedian ever; apparently I am HILARIOUS but I am one of those "get in my own way" sorts that needs liquor to be quick with the wit. I think fast, but can't talk fast enough. I end up mumbling in a humorous manner, but no one knows what I said. Repeating yourself totally ruins it.

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Phi
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Postby Phi » Wed Sep 12, 2007 5:34 am UTC

As told by my friend: "[Phi] has a few quirky gimmicks that he uses over and over until it gets old."
I'm currently imitating MadTV Characters.

I also say a bunch of stuff, and sometimes it's at the right time. It helps that I'm witty. And oh-so-classy.

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Postby Akula » Wed Sep 12, 2007 5:35 am UTC

I'm absolutely awesome when it comes to making pop culture references. That is where I'm best.

But I'd say I'm pretty funny when it comes to making my own stuff up. Making a good one liner at the appropriate time, etc. I always cracked people up in college.

I've never actually sat down to come up with material though. I've often though of doing it, and trying my hand at stand up even. Just never gotten around to doing it.

Maybe I should...
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Postby The Dork Knight » Wed Sep 26, 2007 7:05 pm UTC

Hey Akula, let's have a joke off. I'll start.

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"Big.....foot...?"
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Postby Victorkm » Wed Sep 26, 2007 8:14 pm UTC

I tend to make funny, snappy remarks about things going on around me and in response to things being said to me, without thinking about who I am saying it to, and this usually leads to me having to laugh at myself to let said person know I am joking if I accidently say something that if taken seriously could be rather offensive. I have the talent of being sarcastic without offending, and instead it can make people like me more, even if I am sort of backhandedly insulting them.

I can tell jokes and funny and they usually get laughs too.

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GusPatsy
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Postby GusPatsy » Wed Sep 26, 2007 8:39 pm UTC

Phi wrote:As told by my friend: "[Phi] has a few quirky gimmicks that he uses over and over until it gets old."
I'm currently imitating MadTV Characters.


I really hope there is irony in these imitations, or they were old before you started. MadTV is the anti-funny.
Alisto wrote:
GusPatsy wrote:I would like a title that references something I don't get, and would take hours to figure out, eventually leaving me disappointed.


"Sex"

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Postby Sorcyress » Wed Sep 26, 2007 9:01 pm UTC

Maseiken wrote:I also sometimes steal material...


*giggles!!* Which, when done right can be funny.

I have an okay memory for jokes, and tell them when I can. I also use all sorts of pop-culture references, all the time, though it's kinda a strange and limited pop-culture...

I can ocassionally make people laugh just with things I say, especially when I'm paraphrasing stories. (Hokay, so, this barber had a really hot wife, but the evil judge was all like "Bitch, please!" and banished the barber and tried to get it on with the wife. Which kinda made her go crazy and drink poison. So, sixteen years later, the barber comes back to find out that the judge is raising his [the barbers] daughter. And by raising, I mean, planning to marry. Because no, it's not skeezy at ALL to raise a girl as your daughter then go "fuck this, she's hot, I'm horny...WIFE!"

And then the barber fails to kill the judge which makes him go hella-emo. So he decides to kill EVERY SINGLE PERSON in London, starting with the rival barber who knows his secret identity.

And since his girlfriend runs the shittiest pie shop in London, she decides to bake the victims into pies. Hey, it gets rid of the body and apparently tastes DElicious! End act one.)

I'm very good at entertaining troops of girl scouts, generally by making an utter fool of myself. Granted, this ability only works for the less then twelve set, as all us older girl scouts are either COMPLETE dorks or way too blase to laugh at people making fools of themselves.

~Sor
MOOP!

Timing!

What's the most important aspect of a joke?

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Postby Ended » Wed Sep 26, 2007 11:09 pm UTC

I think I tell jokes pretty well, but I can never think of any. A bit like how at the end of that Asimov (I think) short story, all jokes disappear and no one can think of any. Yeah.

By the way, I thought this way going to be about 'joke skills', as in, funny or crappy skills. Like, I have the skill to tie shoelaces quite fast. (Stand back!)
Generally I try to make myself do things I instinctively avoid, in case they are awesome.
-dubsola

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Maseiken
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Postby Maseiken » Wed Sep 26, 2007 11:22 pm UTC

Sorcyress wrote:...especially when I'm paraphrasing stories.

Me too!
Since I'm the only person who pays attention in english my friends are like,
"Ok, so what's this all about?"
"Well, There's this Merchant and he's got tons of friends, noe of whom he has vaguely homosexual feelings for, but that all goes out the window because That one(The love interest) has decided that there's a girl all the way out of town that's Super-hot, and she's an Heiress to boot! Problem is, if he doesn't turn up with some serious BLING, everyone's going to be like, 'Get out, BITCH!' So he needs some cash right? 'cos he can never hold onto it. THAT'S why he goes to his bestest Butt-buddy(The last section unbeknownst to him) and says 'Hey man, I need some Cash so I can get some more cash to pay back the cash I already owe you, PLUS the cash you're lending me right now, because I'm sure that as soon as we're married this chick won't mind me paying all our money to various loan-sharks and debt-holders. So the Merchant is like 'OK, but I don't gots that kind of cash RIGHT at this VERY moment. So we have to get it from some other lender, but he's Jewish, so he'll probably charge interest!' (Did I mention it's the 16th century? oh... well... it is, so Racism(Religion-ism?) is A-OK!)

SO They go to this guy, and he's like 'Why the hell would I give you money, You're a religionst ASSHOLE!' And the Merchant's like 'OH, right, you're the guy I HATE...'
But then the lender is like, 'Whatever dude, I'll lend you the cash, free of interest too!' And everyone's like 'SWEET!' And so the Lender is like,
'HEY, You know what'd be hilarious?! If we put down that the penalty for not returning the money in time is being Brutally slaughtered!' So the Merchant's friend is like 'That doesn't sound very funny.'
But the Merchant is like, 'yes it is, It's hilARious. Excuse me while I sign this apparently legal document.'*Forboooode*

Lots of stuff happens, the guy gets Married, through an odd process that values a Man's enitre personage on a 1-in-3 chance or simply common sense in that of COURSE the lead box is the one, Why would her father make it the OBVIOUS choice?0 The Lenders Daughter runs away 'cos he was a bit of an asshole, He gets all pissed off, the Merchant loses all his money, and the chick the guy was amrrying follows him back to the city to prove to him that he's a jerk... after she married him... and her maid married his friend.

So she preteds to be a Lawyer, and argues for the defence of the Merchant, she pulls some crap out her arse, they spit on the Lender and generally kick the crap out of him, and they all go home for tea and scones (Except the Lender, because they took all his stuff)

And that's The MErchant of Venice, By William Shakespeare
"GRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOWR!!!!"
(Translation: "Objection!")

Maseiken had the ball at the top of the key...

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Postby sillybear25 » Wed Sep 26, 2007 11:23 pm UTC

crazyjimbo wrote:I know a lot of jokes, but I'm crap at telling them so I learnt a few years ago not to bother. I'm much more of a say or do something funny when the opportunity arises. Timing is everything.

So, I think of myself as a funny guy, but only surrounded by the right people. I'd suck a stand up.


that's me, too.

I usually have perfect timing for a "that's what she said" or a your mom joke, or stealthily leaving an xkcd comic on my physics teacher's desk...
This space intentionally left blank.

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Postby bbctol » Wed Sep 26, 2007 11:27 pm UTC

Sorcyress wrote:
Maseiken wrote:
I can ocassionally make people laugh just with things I say, especially when I'm paraphrasing stories.


Related note: The plot of any sci-fi/fantasy book sounds trachy and ridiculous when reduced down into a few phrases. Even if it's a moving political commentary, it still sounds like cheap pulp.

Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep: So there's this guy, in the future, and he kills robots for a living, and he hunts down these robots and has sex with one of them and stuff! But it's actually, like, really good!

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Postby Sana » Thu Sep 27, 2007 1:11 am UTC

I'm not really a joke-teller. I enjoy hearing a good joke, but I don't tell them.

I sometimes tell amusing anecdotes, especially ones I've made up. I'm more of an "observational comic". I make comments as they come to me when someone's said something.

Some people find me funny, I just find myself stupid.

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Postby prysorra » Thu Sep 27, 2007 3:37 am UTC

I'm brilliant with the reacting to a situation.

But I'm not a content generator.

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Postby ChocloManx » Thu Sep 27, 2007 4:05 am UTC

I'm very funny IRL, in an intentionally creepy kind of way, but I don't actually tell a lot of jokes, except:

"What did a chinese guy say to another?".

"NOTHING BECAUSE CHINESE PEOPLE CAN'T SPEAK".

I tell that one just to confuse people, but I think it's funny :P

(me = bad english, sorreh).
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