Help william overcome his fears of the fairer sex! (Split)

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william
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Postby william » Wed Dec 13, 2006 11:00 pm UTC

Peshmerga wrote:Comon william...

"SHE WINKED AT ME TODAY!!! WHAT DOEZ DIS MEAN FOR ME????"

Grow a pair.

How about I cut off yours?
SecondTalon wrote:A pile of shit can call itself a delicious pie, but that doesn't make it true.

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Postby aldimond » Wed Dec 13, 2006 11:01 pm UTC

Don't think that'll help ya, Willie.
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Postby Peshmerga » Wed Dec 13, 2006 11:05 pm UTC

I would be firmly (or rather, limply) against such a thing, however.
i hurd u liek mudkips???

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william
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Postby william » Wed Dec 13, 2006 11:22 pm UTC

Sorry for the rudeness, I just don't take nicely to being told to grow a pair. Especially off the cuff like that.
SecondTalon wrote:A pile of shit can call itself a delicious pie, but that doesn't make it true.

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Postby Verysillyman » Wed Dec 13, 2006 11:26 pm UTC

The problem here is spelling. The advice was supposed to imply that girls love a guy who gardens, and that fresh fruit is something they like to eat. Show her you're an out-doorsy kind of guy who cares about her health; grow a pear (tree).

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aldimond
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Postby aldimond » Wed Dec 13, 2006 11:27 pm UTC

Well I'd say this: just because a woman hugs you doesn't mean that you should definitely ask her out. Only you're in a position to decide that because there are plenty of other factors in play.

But if your careful analysis reveals that indeed your request would be welcome, and you really want to do it, then I can hardly think of better advice than to grow a pair...

(a pair of antlers, because antlers are chick magnets)
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Postby Jack Saladin » Wed Dec 13, 2006 11:28 pm UTC

I just realised how funny this thread is.

Only on XKCD. :lol:

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Postby Peshmerga » Wed Dec 13, 2006 11:28 pm UTC

I expect retorts in magnitudes ten fold, so don't feel the need to apologize. Trust me, you're not going to gain any confidence reading advice on an internet forum. There's knowledge and there's belief; you know what you have to do, but you don't believe in yourself. Believe (or disbelieve, whichever works) and do what you feel is right!
i hurd u liek mudkips???

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Postby hermaj » Wed Dec 13, 2006 11:49 pm UTC

Just because she hugged you - that does not mean so much by itself in terms of whether her feelings are romantic or platonic, it just means that she doesn't think you are disgusting or creepy! I am sorry to be a kill-joy but we ladies are pretty complex creatures and most interactions with us have a few shades of grey.

On that note though, ask her out! Otherwise you will just be agonising. Who knows, she is probably sitting there going "I wonder if he is ever going to ask me out?". It does not matter if she says no! She obviously likes you to some degree, and you can always bring it up again later if you see an appropriate moment.

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Postby fjafjan » Thu Dec 14, 2006 12:06 am UTC

Saladin wrote:I just realised how funny this thread is.

Only on XKCD. :lol:


it's true :lol:
//Yepp, THE fjafjan (who's THE fjafjan?)
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Postby programmerbrad » Thu Dec 14, 2006 1:03 am UTC

I think the hugging idea is completely off! For instance, I hugged/was hugged by a female friend of mine in the store today who has been dating another friend of mine for about 5 years now, and it was totally innocent! Also: I have a pretty close-knit group of friends in the local hardcore scene, both male and female, who almost always greet me with a hug, and I don't think any of them want my bod. At least, I hope like... a married guy doesn't want my bod. D:
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Postby Lani » Thu Dec 14, 2006 1:09 am UTC

I give lots of hug, so I think hugs aren't indicative of anything. Unless, of course, the person slips a hand down and grabs your ass...that often means they want more than a hug. Unless it's your grandma, in which case, your family is weird.
- Lani

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Postby Peshmerga » Thu Dec 14, 2006 1:12 am UTC

Yeah, I get girl hugs all the time.

All the time.

Like four times a minute.

:cry:
i hurd u liek mudkips???

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Postby paapahparn » Thu Dec 14, 2006 8:29 am UTC

lani wrote:I give lots of hug, so I think hugs aren't indicative of anything. Unless, of course, the person slips a hand down and grabs your ass...that often means they want more than a hug. Unless it's your grandma, in which case, your family is weird.


christ. my family is weird! actually i think its cuz im so tall and she's so short that she ends up grabbing around my stomach and might end up near by butt.

but hugs are totally normal for girls to hand out. think of it as some weird translation for a european handshake (which is sometimes a hug or a kiss on the cheek)

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Postby Jesse » Thu Dec 14, 2006 10:04 am UTC

Yeah, with wrestlers the formal greeting is handshake for a bloke, hug for a girl. This is no indication that the girl wants anything more than to say hello.

I wouldn't really go for most physical stuff as a guide for that. I've had a couple of female friends now who sit in my lap with an arm around me or play with my hair. It's nothing remotely sexual. As I was told once in explanation "You're the kind of guy people just want to cuddle."

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Postby Detritus » Thu Dec 14, 2006 5:14 pm UTC

Yeah, it's the same for me. Except I don't like to cuddle with people. So it doesn't usually work out too well.
Then I thought, "Man, I should have just said 'yeah.' "

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Postby rachel » Thu Dec 14, 2006 8:08 pm UTC

Who in their right mind doesn't like to cuddle? That's ridiculous.

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Postby TheTankengine » Thu Dec 14, 2006 8:15 pm UTC

rachel wrote:Who in their right mind doesn't like to cuddle? That's ridiculous.


QFT

Cuddling > all non-cuddling-related activities
be centered
be compassionate
be interesting

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Postby aldimond » Thu Dec 14, 2006 8:16 pm UTC

rachel wrote:Who in their right mind doesn't like to cuddle? That's ridiculous.


My brother, for one.

I wasn't going to post this until I realized how bad it sounded. "I take it you know this from experience, Al?" Well, wouldn't you like to know ;-)
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Postby TheTankengine » Thu Dec 14, 2006 8:18 pm UTC

Sounds like there is a pretty good story behind this one, al.
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Postby Peshmerga » Thu Dec 14, 2006 8:21 pm UTC

Cuddling is indeed nice.
i hurd u liek mudkips???

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aldimond
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Postby aldimond » Thu Dec 14, 2006 9:15 pm UTC

TheTankengine wrote:Sounds like there is a pretty good story behind this one, al.


If there was one you'd be the first to know :P
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Postby Hawknc » Fri Dec 15, 2006 2:52 am UTC

I'm pro-cuddles. If everyone spent more time in each others' arms, we'd have less problems in the world (well, it could give rise to an exacerbated population problem depending on who cuddled with who, but I'm also pro-contraceptive!).

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Postby hermaj » Fri Dec 15, 2006 3:39 am UTC

Oh, just cuddling is okay! It is only when a man and a woman love each other so much that they give each other a special cuddle that we have that sort of problem.

...Can you tell my friends and I were talking about Where Do I Come From? only the other day? :D

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Postby aldimond » Fri Dec 15, 2006 4:07 am UTC

Hawknc wrote:I'm pro-cuddles. If everyone spent more time in each others' arms, we'd have less problems in the world (well, it could give rise to an exacerbated population problem depending on who cuddled with who, but I'm also pro-contraceptive!).


I have this mental image of Dick Cheney cuddling with Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. I wouldn't call it "cute", but then again, I am not really one for cute things.
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Postby fjafjan » Fri Dec 15, 2006 8:57 am UTC

aldimond wrote:
Hawknc wrote:I'm pro-cuddles. If everyone spent more time in each others' arms, we'd have less problems in the world (well, it could give rise to an exacerbated population problem depending on who cuddled with who, but I'm also pro-contraceptive!).


I have this mental image of Dick Cheney cuddling with Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. I wouldn't call it "cute", but then again, I am not really one for cute things.


Thatcher probably needed more cuddles but i pity whoever had to do so.
//Yepp, THE fjafjan (who's THE fjafjan?)
Liza wrote:Fjafjan, your hair is so lovely that I want to go to Sweden, collect the bit you cut off in your latest haircut and keep it in my room, and smell it. And eventually use it to complete my shrine dedicated to you.

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Postby TheTankengine » Fri Dec 15, 2006 8:23 pm UTC

aldimond wrote:
TheTankengine wrote:Sounds like there is a pretty good story behind this one, al.


If there was one you'd be the first to know :P


Oooh!!! I can't wait! :wink:

hermaj wrote:Oh, just cuddling is okay! It is only when a man and a woman love each other so much that they give each other a special cuddle that we have that sort of problem.


You must mean the "mommy and daddy cuddle"?
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william
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Postby william » Fri Dec 15, 2006 8:42 pm UTC

Lack of cuddling is the source of all the world's problems.

The only reason Osama is so evil is because his religion bans cuddling.
SecondTalon wrote:A pile of shit can call itself a delicious pie, but that doesn't make it true.

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Postby Fuolornis Fire Dragon » Sat Dec 16, 2006 1:04 am UTC

TheTankengine wrote:
rachel wrote:Who in their right mind doesn't like to cuddle? That's ridiculous.


QFT

Cuddling > all non-cuddling-related activities
Hear hear. Cuddling is the ideal to which all else aspires. Of course, I'm legendary among my friends for my tendency to have LONG (3-9 months) pre-cuddle periods with girls, but that's more because I flirt so much that they have trouble telling when I'm serious than anything else.
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Postby Jack Saladin » Sat Dec 16, 2006 1:06 am UTC

Even cuddling is pretty impressive for someone with (what I assume to be) a Dungeons and Dragons internet cypher!

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Jesse
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Postby Jesse » Sat Dec 16, 2006 1:07 am UTC

I would like to edit everything I've ever said in this thread and replace it with the words "I suck."

That is all.

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william
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Postby william » Sat Dec 16, 2006 1:08 am UTC

Jesster wrote:I would like to edit everything I've ever said in this thread and replace it with the words "I suck."

Sigged out of context.
SecondTalon wrote:A pile of shit can call itself a delicious pie, but that doesn't make it true.

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Postby Jack Saladin » Sat Dec 16, 2006 1:12 am UTC

Jesster wrote:I would like to edit everything I've ever said in this thread and replace it with the words "I suck."

That is all.


But wai? WAI?!

Seriously, did Jesster post something incredibly embarrassing I could blackmail him with? 'Cause that would be coolio.

P.S. You suck! Haw haw.

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Postby Jesse » Sat Dec 16, 2006 1:13 am UTC

Nah, nothing embarassing. I am just hoping no-one ever takes my advice or it could lead to a conversation like the one I just had.

EDIT: Also, yay for whining about things over Internet forums!

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Peshmerga
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Postby Peshmerga » Sat Dec 16, 2006 1:22 am UTC

So once again, I win.
i hurd u liek mudkips???

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Jesse
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Postby Jesse » Sat Dec 16, 2006 1:25 am UTC

Unfortunately, you don't. All thanks to the power of listening to Snow Patrol, bobbing my head and reading webcomics.

Although, I kind of wish I could have inconsequential relationships. They sound awfully fun.

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william
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Postby william » Sat Dec 16, 2006 1:29 am UTC

Jesster wrote:Unfortunately, you don't. All thanks to the power of listening to Snow Patrol, bobbing my head and reading webcomics.

Although, I kind of wish I could have inconsequential relationships. They sound awfully fun.

I wish I could have time travel. That way, if anybody I want has a boyfriend, I just kill the boyfriend. Unless I'm in a timeline that can't change, in which case I can't kill him and probably get slapped when she realizes what I tried to do.

But seriously, I wouldn't kill people although I would use time travel to woo women--impress some random Greek king with technology, give it to him in exchange for some priceless gold or silver object, give it to girl as a gift.
SecondTalon wrote:A pile of shit can call itself a delicious pie, but that doesn't make it true.

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Jesse
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Postby Jesse » Sat Dec 16, 2006 1:30 am UTC

I would use time travel to go back in time to when I was fifteen and totally punch myself in the face for being an emo idiot. Than I would punch my dad as well, because I regret not having done that.

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Postby Fuolornis Fire Dragon » Sat Dec 16, 2006 1:33 am UTC

Saladin wrote:Even cuddling is pretty impressive for someone with (what I assume to be) a Dungeons and Dragons internet cypher!
It's Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. You need to get out more.
"There is, for some unfathomed reason, something almost unbearably sexy about having huge fire-breathing magical dragons flying low about the sky on moonlit nights which [are] already dangerously on the sweet and fragrant side."

-Douglas Adams

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Postby Fuolornis Fire Dragon » Sat Dec 16, 2006 1:34 am UTC

Jesster wrote:I would use time travel to go back in time to when I was fifteen and totally punch myself in the face for being an emo idiot. Than I would punch my dad as well, because I regret not having done that.
Dude, I'm 15. I'll get right on that.

EDIT: Stage 1 complete. I've decided never to follow your advice again, so I'm not trying stage 2.
"There is, for some unfathomed reason, something almost unbearably sexy about having huge fire-breathing magical dragons flying low about the sky on moonlit nights which [are] already dangerously on the sweet and fragrant side."

-Douglas Adams


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