What can xkcd do for YOU?

Things that don't belong anywhere else. (Check first).

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Alisto
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Postby Alisto » Wed Aug 15, 2007 8:04 pm UTC

I can teach self-defense.

I can also build nifty things. Mechanical Engineering + lots of McGyver as a child = useful.

I will keep everyone laughing. Laughter is the best medicine, so no doctors required.
Bad grammar makes me [sic].
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arbivark
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Postby arbivark » Thu Aug 16, 2007 1:01 am UTC

You guys are amazing.
I mean, I knew that in theory, but this is a great thread - lotsa talent.

Can we do a workshop on this stuff at the september meet up?
Sort of a 1 to 5 minutes show and tell of "I'm _ and I can do __."

I can wash dishes, dive dumpsters, drive a forklift. I'm a very bad lawyer.
I had a nice okra crop this year.
I have access to 18 acres outside a college town in Indiana, and an old barn that needs putting up and strawbaled, if we could use a land base before we get the island. http://raccooncreek.blogspot.com.

Things I sense this group can do:
be largely selfsustainable. make music. make musical instruments.
put on a show. porn musicals?
do math and science.
...
profit.

edit: http://raccooncreek.blogspot.com , but it looks like we lost the land, or at least things are up in the air.
Last edited by arbivark on Sun Aug 26, 2007 11:10 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.

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BlueNowhere
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Postby BlueNowhere » Thu Aug 16, 2007 3:16 am UTC

arbivark wrote:I have access to 18 acres outside a college town in Indiana, and an old barn that needs putting up and strawbaled, if we could use a land base before we get the island. http://raccooncreek.blogspot.com.

Sweet!

The site 404's.
The Blue Nowhere

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ApologyOfWar
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Postby ApologyOfWar » Thu Aug 16, 2007 10:11 am UTC

I can help you with french :D

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pollywog
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Postby pollywog » Thu Aug 16, 2007 10:13 am UTC

ApologyOfWar wrote:I can help you with french :D


Coincidentally, what does this mean?

"Je ne sais pas d'autre bombe, qu'un livre"
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Bondolon
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Postby Bondolon » Thu Aug 16, 2007 10:19 am UTC

edit: delete?
Last edited by Bondolon on Thu Aug 16, 2007 11:11 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.

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Insignificant Deifaction
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Postby Insignificant Deifaction » Thu Aug 16, 2007 11:28 am UTC

Je ne sais pas d'autre bombe, qu'un livre.

Je=I
ne -verb- pas=negative tense
sais=know
d'=vowel-present contraction of de/etc., which is sort of a 'the'
autre=other
bombe=explosive/deodorant/bulge/bulging/riding cap (I think bulge or bulging)
qu'=que=that
un=one
livre=book

I honestly think either I'm missing something or the original phrase is messed up.

Anywho, the translation is as follows:
I don't know the other [?], that one book.

:oops:

I still don't have complete mastery of the french language. Bah, it's not like I can pronounce any of it anyway.
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Postby TheKhakinator » Thu Aug 16, 2007 11:43 am UTC

BlueNowhere wrote:
arbivark wrote:I have access to 18 acres outside a college town in Indiana, and an old barn that needs putting up and strawbaled, if we could use a land base before we get the island. http://raccooncreek.blogspot.com.

Sweet!

The site 404's.

It's cause there's a fullstop on the end. it should be:
http://raccooncreek.blogspot.com

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schumi_girl
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Postby schumi_girl » Thu Aug 16, 2007 11:46 am UTC

I can tap dance.
And play tennis.
And be sarcastic til your insides dry up with my humour.


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Adam: "I'll get some pillows."

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someguy
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Re: What can xkcd do for YOU?

Postby someguy » Sat Oct 06, 2007 1:29 am UTC

I can help squeeze every last drop of sound quality out of a turntable.

Because you're all still using turntables, right? Right?

ApologyOfWar wrote:I can help you with french :D

Oh, and help you with Spanish, too.

En resumen, puedo ayudarles con sus tocadiscos y con el idioma español.
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Re: What can xkcd do for YOU?

Postby airtank » Sat Oct 06, 2007 1:50 am UTC

Reading through these, it would appear that I am pretty useless. However, depending on how big our island/plot of land is going to be, walking may or may not be the best mode of transportation. This is where I would come in handy:

I can train horses!

I'm also pretty handy with lashing (like with ropes and logs, not with whips!) and I'm really really good at being that bitchy friend you need sometimes.

Also, what makes you guys think we're gonna have electricity? Precious few of you have listed outdoor skills. Whatchya gonna do when the lights go out, punks?!
Image

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someguy
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Re: What can xkcd do for YOU?

Postby someguy » Sat Oct 06, 2007 1:57 am UTC

airtank wrote:Also, what makes you guys think we're gonna have electricity? Precious few of you have listed outdoor skills. Whatchya gonna do when the lights go out, punks?!

Help you set up a gramophone :D.
aleflamedyud wrote:Plenty of people have confidence without any base of actual virtue or accomplishment beneath it. We call these people "douchebags".


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Rummy
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Re: What can xkcd do for YOU?

Postby Rummy » Sat Oct 06, 2007 1:59 am UTC

airtank wrote:Precious few of you have listed outdoor skills. Whatchya gonna do when the lights go out, punks?!


I'm pretty good with an axe or maul.

However, thats not my normal answer for what I'm going to do when the lights go out. :twisted:

Teshi
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Re: What can xkcd do for YOU?

Postby Teshi » Sat Oct 06, 2007 2:02 am UTC

Among other things, I can...

Write stories, plays etc. (and analyze them)
Sing (soprano 1) and play the piano and flute
Generally look after, entertain and teach kids of up to about ten
Spout history from a variety of eras
Research in an effective manner
Design and paint sets
Quickly cook basic but yummy dishes from whatever ingredients are available
Listen and be a fairly rational mediator
Walk long distances

:)

Precious few of you have listed outdoor skills. Whatchya gonna do when the lights go out, punks?!


My historical knowledge (esp. that of technology) comes in useful here, as do my research skills. I also have a general knowledge of gardening. I have a general knowledge of a lot of things. I think I'd be fairly useful come apocalypse.
Last edited by Teshi on Sat Oct 06, 2007 2:04 am UTC, edited 1 time in total.

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sillybear25
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Re: What can xkcd do for YOU?

Postby sillybear25 » Sat Oct 06, 2007 2:02 am UTC

I can play a melody on the trombone, teh greatest intrument EVAR! Aside from, you know, the bagpipes. But there aren't any real opportunities for me to play the bagpipes, so I've never learned.
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Klye
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Re: What can xkcd do for YOU?

Postby Klye » Sat Oct 06, 2007 3:24 am UTC

I can play bassoon. Unless you want something lower, then I can play contrabassoon.

I can draw too, so if you want a picture, I might be able to help out.
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Re: What can xkcd do for YOU?

Postby LoonRadio » Sat Oct 06, 2007 3:45 am UTC

airtank wrote: Whatchya gonna do when the lights go out, punks?!


Go looting.
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Hailing taxicabs.

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curious and questioning
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Re: What can xkcd do for YOU?

Postby curious and questioning » Sat Oct 06, 2007 4:13 am UTC

I can sing first soprano and play trombone.
I can't do much, I suppose.
I can give other people ideas for what to do!

It seems like xkcd has a pretty big trombone ensemble.
[insert quote here]

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Flying Betty
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Re: What can xkcd do for YOU?

Postby Flying Betty » Sat Oct 06, 2007 6:09 am UTC

Klye wrote:I can play contrabassoon.

Hott.

I also play bassoon. If there's enough of us then we can duke it out with the trombones in a West Side Story-esque dance off. Conveniently enough, I can also tap dance. And do other dancey stuff if need be.
I can read books very quickly.
I can make useless tiny things out of clay.
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Likpok
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Re: What can xkcd do for YOU?

Postby Likpok » Sat Oct 06, 2007 6:12 am UTC

I play euphonium. Like trombone, but entirely different.

Soon I will be able to circular breathe on euphonium. Hopefully. I can already do it on waxophone, but that's much easier.
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Cook it till it's smoking
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Re: What can xkcd do for YOU?

Postby bookishbunny » Sat Oct 06, 2007 1:59 pm UTC

airtank wrote:Also, what makes you guys think we're gonna have electricity? Precious few of you have listed outdoor skills. Whatchya gonna do when the lights go out, punks?!


Build a solar-powered generator? (not me, mind you, but one the smart people)
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Hawknc
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Re: What can xkcd do for YOU?

Postby Hawknc » Sat Oct 06, 2007 2:14 pm UTC

airtank wrote:Also, what makes you guys think we're gonna have electricity? Precious few of you have listed outdoor skills. Whatchya gonna do when the lights go out, punks?!

I'm sure there's plenty of us who know how to wire AC circuits, should we have a generator available, and DC circuits if we're using solar panels. Hell, given a couple of magnets and some copper wire we could probably just make wind turbines. :P

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Re: What can xkcd do for YOU?

Postby Reckless » Sat Oct 06, 2007 2:31 pm UTC

I can fly airplanes, providing...

-Transportation services
-Aerial photography
-Air Tours
-Search and Rescue
-Law Enforcement

Once I get my Commercial, I'll be taking a course in flying dropships, too.

On top of my aviator prowess, I can..

-Run a newspaper
-Take all manner of photographs
-Run an FM radio station
-Play a mean blues guitar

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Rummy
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Re: What can xkcd do for YOU?

Postby Rummy » Sat Oct 06, 2007 2:36 pm UTC

Likpok wrote:I play euphonium. Like trombone, but entirely different.


I played both. At least the mouthpieces are close, and you can get parts for both in bass clef. Well... I guess you could use the same mouthpiece for both, but I had a preference for each. Switching to tuba or trumpet is what always messed me up.

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Re: What can xkcd do for YOU?

Postby koalabäh » Sat Oct 06, 2007 3:27 pm UTC

Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can -- ok, nevermind. Sorry.
I can hang out in trees and get stoned. Allow three weeks years for delivery.

No but seriously: I can help with music (tenor & guitar), Java/C++/Haskell programming, and philosophizing. I can also proofread, cook a limited but delicious range of um culinary fantasies, translate (German <-> English), repair mountain bikes, carry heavy stuff across rough terrain, recommend lots of obscure music from a wide variety of genres, and snore loudly.
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yellie
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Re: What can xkcd do for YOU?

Postby yellie » Sat Oct 06, 2007 3:31 pm UTC

Umm, I have very useless talents.

- I can sketch portraits for you. Or I can draw in a stylized version too.
- I can open any jar.
- I have infinite knowledge about all Edgar Wright/Simon Pegg/Nick Frost projects (Spaced, Shaun, Hot Fuzz, and the as-of-yet un-named third film of the Ice-Cream Trilogy) and will gladly talk about them for hours. The knowledge also extends to Simon Pegg's solo projects.
- I'll teach you Irish.
- I'm a good video games buddy. As in, I'll happily be player two and I'm very animated when I play, so entertainment is guarranteed.
- I make amazing toast.
- Oh, and I will win every time if we play the Bollocks/Penis game. (when each person takes turns to shout bollocks and/or penis louder than the person before. The person who shouts it loudest wins.)

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MoonBuggy
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Re: What can xkcd do for YOU?

Postby MoonBuggy » Sat Oct 06, 2007 3:40 pm UTC

I can reach almost any given place by almost any given form of transport.
I can do some very rudimentary 3D animation.
I can do slightly less rudimentary video editing.
I can complete Sonic 3 & Knuckles at inhuman speed.
I should eventually have a physics degree (approximately 5 years from now, since I don't start until next year :))
I can fix scratched CDs/DVDs using only a towel and some toothpaste.
I have the ability to assume I am capable of almost anything, despite it being blindingly obvious to others around me that catastrophic failure is imminent.
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Ishindri
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Re: What can xkcd do for YOU?

Postby Ishindri » Sat Oct 06, 2007 3:50 pm UTC

MoonBuggy wrote:I can complete Sonic 3 & Knuckles at inhuman speed.
I can beat it as Knuckles, but not Sonic. Farthest I've ever gotten is Death Egg Zone, Act II miniboss.

Oh yeah, the topic. Well... I can do basic programming in (le gasp) Pascal.
I have the capacity for basic 3d modeling.
I have a supernatural ability to quote various interwub memes and other stuff in real life.
I am the originator of the theory that time reproduces by budding, and that galaxies are actually the spatial extrusions into our dimension of four-dimensional beings.

Yeah, I don't have very many useful skills. I learn quickly, though.

Edit: Oh yeah, I can speak rather basic Latin. If there's a dead horse in the road, I'll tell you. In Latin.
Last edited by Ishindri on Sat Oct 06, 2007 3:55 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.
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koalabäh
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Re: What can xkcd do for YOU?

Postby koalabäh » Sat Oct 06, 2007 3:53 pm UTC

yellie wrote:- I'll teach you Irish.
- I make amazing toast.

Irish rulez. So far most of the Ires I've met have not agreed with me. I find this to be quite a shame. I'm interested in learning it some day (like after I finish my degree, when I hope to live and work in Dublin for a year or three).
I have never had toast that was amazing. To be perfectly frank, I was not aware that toast could get any better than... uh... not burnt, I guess.
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yellie
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Re: What can xkcd do for YOU?

Postby yellie » Sat Oct 06, 2007 4:00 pm UTC

koalabäh wrote:
yellie wrote:- I'll teach you Irish.
- I make amazing toast.

Irish rulez. So far most of the Ires I've met have not agreed with me. I find this to be quite a shame. I'm interested in learning it some day (like after I finish my degree, when I hope to live and work in Dublin for a year or three).
I have never had toast that was amazing. To be perfectly frank, I was not aware that toast could get any better than... uh... not burnt, I guess.


Yeah, I think the reason we all hate Irish so much is because it's mandatory learning over here, and the way it's taught is so bad, we instinctively rebel against learning it. That being said, I like speaking Irish, but you'd be lucky to find somewhere in Dublin that speaks it as their first language. You'd be better off going to Galway or a Gaeltacht area if you want to learn.

Oh, toast can be amazing. My friends and I have perfected this skill. Because we're soo cool.

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sillybear25
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Re: What can xkcd do for YOU?

Postby sillybear25 » Sat Oct 06, 2007 4:45 pm UTC

curious and questioning wrote:It seems like xkcd has a pretty big trombone ensemble.


Hmm... Maybe we should establish the Official XKCD Trombone Choir! Have you ever played in/listened to a trombone choir? It is a truly epic experience.
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Flying Betty
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Re: What can xkcd do for YOU?

Postby Flying Betty » Sat Oct 06, 2007 4:51 pm UTC

If there's any sort of running water, I don't see why I couldn't put together some sort of generator. I'll just have to be sure that whenever I'm in a boat that's likely to sink and leave me stranded on a desert island that I wrap myself in nicely conductive wire and keep magnets in my pockets.
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bluebambue
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Re: What can xkcd do for YOU?

Postby bluebambue » Sat Oct 06, 2007 5:12 pm UTC

I can follow a reasonable lead in the Cha-Cha and salsa. If the lead is really good I can follow the waltz and rock-jive.

I can sing alto.

I can set up modern tents, really quickly in the dark and rain.

I can light a fire.

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Lyra Ngalia
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Re: What can xkcd do for YOU?

Postby Lyra Ngalia » Sat Oct 06, 2007 5:49 pm UTC

I can...

* write spacecraft assembly procedure (alternately, I can turn the other engineers' assembly procedures into coherent English).
* analyze structure in SolidWorks and give you pretty pictures (again, spacecraft, mostly)
* sing in a way as to not make your ears bleed completely
* bake a mean banana bread
* ... and chocolate chip cookie
* ... and gingerbread cookie
* ... and snickerdoodle
* break software
* build mini trebuchets and catapults

Yeah, that's my handful of cool skills.
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Southwest
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Re: What can xkcd do for YOU?

Postby Southwest » Sat Oct 06, 2007 5:52 pm UTC

Rub my feet and make me some tea.

Oh, you mean the topic title isn't the post? ;)

I'm an actor trained under a combination of Stella Adler, Uta Hagen, and Sandy Meisner's techniques, but that's not very practical for anything other than entertainment. I believe I can cartoon fairly decently-- I just got a piece published in the 2008 Kingdom of Loathing calendar, which is going to print. I have meager HTML and CSS skills, meaning that I can very slowly throw together a website, but it's not going to be the best ever, and it's not going to have many bells or whistles. On occasion, I've made logos for various organizations or teams, but they tend to be a little on the abstract side, and they're not fantastic.

In short, once you get past basic artsiness, I've really got nothin', unfortunately.

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d0rk
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Re: What can xkcd do for YOU?

Postby d0rk » Sat Oct 06, 2007 7:18 pm UTC

I can do pretty things in java, Haskell and, hopefully between now and 1 month, Prolog.
I can teach you to sail a keel boat.
I can cook a basic meal, and a killer pasta.
and I'm pretty able with building stuff from the ground up

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curious and questioning
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Re: What can xkcd do for YOU?

Postby curious and questioning » Sun Oct 07, 2007 12:12 am UTC

sillybear25 wrote:
curious and questioning wrote:It seems like xkcd has a pretty big trombone ensemble.


Hmm... Maybe we should establish the Official XKCD Trombone Choir! Have you ever played in/listened to a trombone choir? It is a truly epic experience.


I heard them two weeks or so ago.
Amazing. I aspire to someday be able to play half as well as that. We should, though. Never mind the number of continents it would be spread over. :)
[/tangent]
I can march sometimes. I'm not good or anything, but I try to blend in with the people who are.
I can tell you, through trial and error, what files are OK to play on an iPod, but you could just check Apple's website and get the same info.
I can follow a recipe to cook something.
I can draw stick figures.
And I can do lots more stuff other xkcdians could do better.
[insert quote here]

Sana
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Re: What can xkcd do for YOU?

Postby Sana » Sun Oct 07, 2007 12:16 am UTC

Not only do I have the ability to contribute nothing to society, but I have the ability to reduce the sum overall of contributions to society.

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semicolon
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Re: What can xkcd do for YOU?

Postby semicolon » Sun Oct 07, 2007 12:25 am UTC

Wouldn't it be cool if the xkcd community as a whole came together and used what skills we have to create something big? Anything from a video game to an album to some sort of charity or something. Bad suggestions, but you get the idea.

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d0rk
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Re: What can xkcd do for YOU?

Postby d0rk » Sun Oct 07, 2007 12:27 am UTC

maybe we should form a community on an island somewhere ;)


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