Being an adult-has it happened to you?

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kilgore trout
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Being an adult-has it happened to you?

Postby kilgore trout » Thu Aug 09, 2007 12:27 pm UTC

Apologies to the young and under aged among us, this topic does not yet apply to you.

When did you realize you were an adult? What moment made you think to yourself "oh my god, I'm no longer a kid, I'm a (gasp) grown up!"?

For me adulthood reared it's ugly head while shopping for clothes. I realized I was not up to date on any of the styles, and could not understand why kids these days dress so strange.

Also, having to put my name on the utilities account. Seeing that bill every month, and realizing I have to pay it or I have no power, and learning what happens when you pay your bill one day late, well that is being a grown up.

So-has anyone else crossed the threshold from anguished teen to disgruntled adult?

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Postby Cuton » Thu Aug 09, 2007 12:32 pm UTC

Getting a letter from our family lawyer about setting up my will... that kinda caught me by surprise and got me thinking... damn, I'm actually worth money now!

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Postby dnel » Thu Aug 09, 2007 12:32 pm UTC

I had a rough transition when I was 19 after my parents split and I landed out on my own without any form of income due to having been made redundant shortly beforehand. I suppose after I moved into the city, got my head together and rebuilt my social life and career I realised that I've been able to build my own life from scratch without any parental assistance and I was therefore an adult. I also knew deep down that I could never go back home, despite the fact it was impossible but emotionally I was beyond that. But everyone's measure is different, some people I know older than me still aren't emotionally detached from their parents and still call their parents house "home" which I find quite sad.

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Postby dschneider » Thu Aug 09, 2007 12:33 pm UTC

The first time I ate ice cream for dinner. The first time I bought comic books with my own earned income. The first time I took a vacation on my own.

Ironically, most of those things also made me feel like a kid again.
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Postby jestingrabbit » Thu Aug 09, 2007 12:33 pm UTC

I was actually gigantically happy when I went and bought the first bunch of trendy clothes I owned with my own money when I was starting my PhD. It was definitely sometime during that first semester when I became adult, but it was a good feeling for me.

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Postby madjo » Thu Aug 09, 2007 12:36 pm UTC

I'm about to make such a transition.
Within a few months, I'm going to be the proud owner of a 2-room apartment.
I am quite scared for that jump, but it's largely overdue. (I'm 27, and still living at home (was a financial decision, when I went to college))

Muey expensivo too. :(

Being adult isn't always fun. :(

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Postby PatrickRsGhost » Thu Aug 09, 2007 12:38 pm UTC

For me it was several occurrances.

First, when I realized I no longer like the popular music of today, but drifted more towards older music, mainly stuff I grew up with, or classic rock.

Second, when I had to put all the utilities in my name, when I moved out of my grandma's house and into my apartment.

Third, after moving into the apartment, realizing I didn't have to tell my roommate I was going to X, unless I thought she'd like to go, or if I'm going to the store, ask if she needs something.

Fourth, after roommate moved out, and I moved into my duplex, and later my grandma's house after she passed away, that I didn't have to call anyone or tell anyone I was going to X. I could just step out the door, get in the car, and just go.

When I was more active in the paranormal groups, and doing investigations, I really realized I was an adult, because I didn't have to call anyone to let them know I'm ok, or had to be home at a certain time, unless I wanted to leave early for whatever reason.
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Postby SecondTalon » Thu Aug 09, 2007 12:40 pm UTC

As I made an offer for my house, realizing that I was going to be dropping some serious cash for a place to live that I couldn't just leave if I wanted, rather than bits on a per-month basis that I could leave fairly quickly if needed.

In other words, when I realized that I really could no longer just drop everything and go driving around for a few months, seeing stuff and living like a bum.
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Postby dubsola » Thu Aug 09, 2007 12:50 pm UTC

Cooking my first meal when I moved out of home. That was the very first thing that made me feel adult.

I'm almost 30, and am still childish where it counts. Climbing trees, lying on the grass, playing with kids and lego, swinging on a swing set. Awesome.

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Postby bookishbunny » Thu Aug 09, 2007 1:00 pm UTC

It wasn't the two broken marriages. It wasn't the responsibility of rent and other bills. It wasn't the first wrinkle or the first two-day hangover after a night of moderate drinking.

What made me realize I was an adult was when I could have a candy dish in my house and eat from it when I choose. Seriously.
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Postby the Cow » Thu Aug 09, 2007 1:34 pm UTC

I'm 45, and realizing that every time I have drawn an arbitrary conclusion about my status, whether that is age, politics, religion, etc, I have been at least partially wrong. I can remember half a dozen times I have said to myself that I am all grown up now, only to be proven wrong a few years later. I think these things are built purely on the definitions we want to give them at the time, and that those definitions change drastically with experience, and never reach "correct".
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Postby ZeroSum » Thu Aug 09, 2007 1:34 pm UTC

I realized I was an adult when I was chosen as the godfather for my niece. Caring for her is my first real adult responsibility.

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Postby BiancaBlack » Thu Aug 09, 2007 2:14 pm UTC

bookishbunny wrote:What made me realize I was an adult was when I could have a candy dish in my house and eat from it when I choose. Seriously.


I realized I actually like red wine, and sparkling water. That had me worried for a while, but this proves adulthood is still a long way off. ;)
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Postby LoonRadio » Thu Aug 09, 2007 2:16 pm UTC

I'm with the Cow on this one. I'm still not fully convinced I'm a grownup yet.
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Postby dopplex » Thu Aug 09, 2007 2:22 pm UTC

I'm 26 and not entirely sure I've managed it yet.

It's actually somewhat scary to realize that although I have a decent job, manage to pay my own rent in a difficult city to pay rent in (NYC), and have lived away from my parents for quite a few years now that I'm still not entirely comfortable being an adult and being totally responsible for myself.

I guess I *am* an adult. I just don't feel like one, nor do I particularly want to have to be one. The responsibilities of being an adult still frequently scare me - and often I don't manage to cope particularly well. I paid a utilities bill two days ago that was several months overdue. In fact, I think they would have shut me off in a week had I not paid it. I had the money to pay it the whole time, and just didn't because I didn't want to deal with it.

So.. er.. Yeah - I take the option of "I am an adult, but I'm not sure I can cope."
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Postby joeframbach » Thu Aug 09, 2007 2:25 pm UTC

I'm 21 and I am still a kid.

My first job made me realize I had to grow up. I washed dishes at a hotel when I was 16. Worked for 2 years and bought a car.

Then there was that time 3 years ago when I got a part-time job while at school without telling my parents.

Last year I was responsible for rent and utilities for my first apartment. That was a big one.

My parents decided to be foster parents for a 4 y/o and a 10 y/o. I feel grown up whenever I come home and just want to check my mail and sit down for dinner, and just chill. Stupid over-reaching child abuse laws. These kids have NO IDEA what it means to be punished. The little one comes back from day care with a huge grin on his face saying "I was put in time out twice today!" The timeouts. They do nothing!
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Postby Unforgiven » Thu Aug 09, 2007 2:43 pm UTC

It's weird. In some ways I'll never grow up, but in a lot of way I was never a kid either.

I'm sorta just me.
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Postby Princess Marzipan » Thu Aug 09, 2007 2:45 pm UTC

The other night, actually. I went to CVS and bought soap, deodorant, Listerine, and tissues. No fun at all. =\
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Postby Gadren » Thu Aug 09, 2007 2:45 pm UTC

I'm almost 19 and about to go off to college... but inside I still feel 12 years old. Puberty is the only thing preventing me from feeling younger. :P

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Postby Kawa » Thu Aug 09, 2007 2:46 pm UTC

I think I'm about to take those steps to "adulthood."

Background: My family is not rich, but knows how to save its money, and well - so in December '06 my mom invested in a house down in Florida. Gorgeous place, could easily fit even a family of six (three bedrooms, two full bathrooms, big family room and kitchen area). Within a week I had applied to Florida Tech, and got in about a month after that. (Hooray rolling admissions!) Seeing as I'm from New York, I was required to live on campus freshman year - which was awesome, I must admit. As the year closed I decided I wanted to take advantage of this place I had access to, with its privacy and free laundry and full kitchen and snazzy bathtubs, so I looked for a roommate who would pay decent rent and found one. Getting the deposit was definitely an eye-opener. I've had checks in my name before (I've been employed long enough) but to start this business deal definitely did a lot to say "You're not a kid anymore!"

I'll also be getting a car soon, and I imagine that being alone on the road in my own vehicle will do a lot towards making me be all "I'm an adult!" Taking care of cars, in general, has always been an "adult thing" for me. Flying domestically on my own definitely had that effect as well. Flying internationally on my own (which I will next year, possibly) will have that feeling too, mixed with jetlag of doom and such.

Large purchases on my debit card make me feel a bit like an adult too (though hilariously my first big purchase was my Nintendo DS). I might open up a second savings account (to save up for Big Things later in life) and I think that'll be very "Oh me yarm, adult!" inducing too (my mom set up my current checking account.)
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Postby Jesse » Thu Aug 09, 2007 2:47 pm UTC

When I was sat in a bookshop, and realised I owned the place.

Also, being beholden to someone else. That if I were to drop everything and disappear my grandad would be unable to pay the loan and lose his house. So I can't just decide I don't like the place anymore and vanish as I've done twice before.

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Postby elminster » Thu Aug 09, 2007 2:50 pm UTC

For me, started on xmas 04 in a argument about orange content in a carton of fruit juice.

Since "100% fruit juice from concentrate" is ambiguous in the fact that by definition fruit juice comes from a fruit, but added water doesnt, so its not really (100% fruit juice) from concentrate but could be 100% (fruit juice from concentrate) which would be pointless, even though technically it would contain other contaminates. Through alot of pointless argument we eventually disagreed (the guy was a 'social sponge' of sorts, no unique character, very weak minded, not the best person to argue with).
...anyway...
this all lead to a better understanding of logic, followed by a few lectures at uni in logic and alot of philosophical discussions with flat mates over the next 2 years that all lead to a much broader mind that id say is adult.

Basically a philosophical awakening.
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Postby Sprocket » Thu Aug 09, 2007 3:04 pm UTC

I'm going to go with "sort of" I mean, I don't really understand how you can expect a creature which you've trained it's whole life to understand "I'm just a damn kid" to suddenly turn around and think otherwise.

I'm 26, I make my keep, live far away from parents, rarely speak to them at all...so I guess that makes me an adult, doesn't it? usually I don't feel like one, but often at work I do. At least work gives me something definite to do with my time. I never know how to be productive on my own. I want to be, I have dreams and such, but I have a hard time doing things that take work unless I have to.

I still feel like I have too much in common with a highschool senior to be able to be seen by them as an authority figure.

CreemyNougat wrote:The other night, actually. I went to CVS and bought soap, deodorant, Listerine, and tissues. No fun at all. =\


So what, you've never done that before?
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Postby Princess Marzipan » Thu Aug 09, 2007 3:10 pm UTC

CatProximity wrote:I still feel like I have too much in common with a highschool senior to be able to be seen by them as an authority figure.

Just give the little bastards a Look that makes it clear that they are to immediately lower the volume of that noise which they call "music" and to vacate your lawn in a similarly expeditious manner.
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Postby Sprocket » Thu Aug 09, 2007 3:12 pm UTC

CreemyNougat wrote:
CatProximity wrote:I still feel like I have too much in common with a highschool senior to be able to be seen by them as an authority figure.

Just give the little bastards a Look that makes it clear that they are to immediately lower the volume of that noise which they call "music" and to vacate your lawn in a similarly expeditious manner.
I was talking about teaching. I don't want to look like a matron, but if I went to teach high school in my wardrobe, I think they'd think I was just a tall, mature kid. Which is cool, really, but not if I want to teach.
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Postby Spectre » Thu Aug 09, 2007 3:13 pm UTC

I have to say that my adulthood was marked by candy as well. Strange that this seems to be a common trend.

Mind you I'm 31, and I still do things that most "adults" would consider foolish.

I can buy and gorge on my own candy, yet I still separate my Skittles by color and eat them in a certain order.

I have a job that technically entails some degree of responsibility and considerable managerial duties. Yet I find time to post on forums and explore various other minutae on the internet (I chalk this up to superior time management skills as opposed to slacking. :D)

I consider my musical tastes to be somewhat refined and a smidge more diverse than your average bear, yet I always manage to sneak on a copy on "Elektronik Supersonik" or "The Picard Song" on CD's I burn for the car.

I have 2 Ninja Turtles (the original figures from 1988) sitting atop a copy of a Brian Greene novel on my desk at work,... next to which is a can of Buzz cola.

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... ok I don't wear a vest.

:|
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Postby Sprocket » Thu Aug 09, 2007 3:18 pm UTC

Spectre wrote:I have to say that my adulthood was marked by candy as well. Strange that this seems to be a common trend.

Mind you I'm 31, and I still do things that most "adults" would consider foolish.

I can buy and gorge on my own candy, yet I still separate my Skittles by color and eat them in a certain order.

I have a job that technically entails some degree of responsibility and considerable managerial duties. Yet I find time to post on forums and explore various other minutae on the internet (I chalk this up to superior time management skills as opposed to slacking. :D)

I consider my musical tastes to be somewhat refined and a smidge more diverse than your average bear, yet I always manage to sneak on a copy on "Elektronik Supersonik" or "The Picard Song" on CD's I burn for the car.

I have 2 Ninja Turtles (the original figures from 1988) sitting atop a copy of a Brian Greene novel on my desk at work,... next to which is a can of Buzz cola.

I'm in a enigma, wrapped in a mystery, wrapped in a vest.

... ok I don't wear a vest.

:|


Man, all you candy people must have had some sort of heavey handed dietary restrictions in your households that being allowed to eat candy effects you as being a sign of adult hood. To me, candy, fancy dinners, etc. All signs of having your own money, not really of being adults though. Plenty of kids have jobs in highschool and spend their money how they want. I don't ever remember any rules in my house about eatting candy, only that I could only get it when they were willing to buy it for me, or give me money to buy it. It happened often enough that it wasn't an issue. My parents never withheld my haloween stash or anything. They went by the "you'll eat 7 reeses cups and they'll make you sick and you'll learn" method, it worked. Not perfectly, but well enough. I still over eat on occasion in general, everyone does. (where over eat = eatting until I'm so full I feel sick)

It really amazes me the ways I don't often think in which my parents were good parents. We don't think about how our parents inspired healthy eatting habbits, or told us the truth about various dangers of the world without being rediculous or paranoid. The ways in which we turned out better than people we know. We usually just focus on the ways were turned out not as good as people we know.


I'm pretty sure my parents never talked to me about drugs at all...I mean my mom a tiny bit, but not really...I mostly just saw those anti-drug commercials and said "ok, that's unhealthy, I won't do it." seems sensible to me. It helps that I was never so much as offered a joint until college. And barely then.
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Postby Unforgiven » Thu Aug 09, 2007 3:33 pm UTC

Kawa wrote:Flying internationally on my own (which I will next year, possibly) will have that feeling too, mixed with jetlag of doom and such.

Hmm, I'll do that end of this year. I've flown with friends internationally, but never alone.

Ironically, I will be flying home to see my parents. :)
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Postby PatrickRsGhost » Thu Aug 09, 2007 3:36 pm UTC

Growing up, we hardly ever had dessert after dinner. Now and then my dad might make some homemade brownies that were rather dry, or sugar cookies that were rather hard, or something else I really didn't care for. Once in a while he might buy a large one-gallon bucket of ice cream, and that would be our dessert for a week or two. Other times he might buy a bag of candy, like Reese's Miniatures, Hershey's Miniatures, or Smarties, and that would last us a few days.

The only time I really had more sweets than that, or got what I wanted, was when I'd get a chocolate cake for my birthday, when I went trick-or-treating on Halloween, or at Christmas when my stocking was filled with all kinds of candy.

I guess for those of us who had very restricted access to such sweets, the advantages of being an adult allow us to buy as much sugary goodness as we want, and there really are no rules as to when you can and cannot have it.

I used to go to the store, get a box of brownie mix, along with a carton of Mayfield Moose Tracks, and fix a brownie sundae for almost a week straight. If I had chocolate syrup, I'd toss that on. If I didn't, I'd get some.

I haven't done this in a while, but I used to keep a candy jar at work filled with all kinds of good candy. Co-workers would get onto me, saying I'm the reason they can't stick to their diets. I tell them it's their fault...they don't know how to control themselves and resist temptation.
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Postby Vaniver » Thu Aug 09, 2007 3:39 pm UTC

When I was eating a corner piece of cake, and thought, "there's too much frosting, I can't finish this."

I used to eat frosting straight.
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Postby Belial » Thu Aug 09, 2007 3:45 pm UTC

Being as I'm 23, it probably should've happened before now. That said, I think my real realization of adulthood happened a few weeks ago.

"Well, Mom, if you need a place to stay, we have an extra bed, and also did I just offer to house one of my up-bringers, osiris christ I have my own place to live and am supporting myself and also offering support to the people who used to support me what the hell is this shit, seriously?!?!?!?"

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Postby Mighty Jalapeno » Thu Aug 09, 2007 3:54 pm UTC

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Postby Kawa » Thu Aug 09, 2007 3:57 pm UTC

Oh, might as well mention it: When I'm officially proposed to and start to plan my wedding, I will definitely not be a kid anymore, because then he's not my boyfriend, he's my fiance. ...Or my husband. HOLY SHIT.

Edited to add: There was one point in a conversation we had where he referred to me as his "beautiful wife." It's amazing. It's a little scary, just because I don't quite feel like an adult yet. Yet at the same time I can't ever bother to correct him.
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Postby Sprocket » Thu Aug 09, 2007 3:58 pm UTC

I always find it really bizare when my friends parents stay with them in their crappy tiny apartments on uncomfortable couches or such. My dad stays in a hotel. He would never even think of staying at my place or my sister's place, which actually has room for him, in Philly. He'd consider it invasive, and is aware of how much fun it would not be for us kids. If we get real houses someday, then maybe. My house at home (his house) is pretty big, I mean a little upwards of typical white suburbia sizes. my sisters and I each had our own rooms, so now there are two spare beds for one person and one spare bed for two people and the couch folds out, and plenty of space to ignore eacohter. My apartment doesn't have any of those advantages.

Also, kids get married all the time. My friend Chrissy is married and I think I'm more of an adult than she is. She's never really lived on her own, (I mean, in college she paid her own way through and got her own loans and such, but college is weird and magical) and now he husband works and she doesn't.
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Postby iknoritesrsly » Thu Aug 09, 2007 4:02 pm UTC

For me it hit when I realized that I was not only capable of taking care of myself on my own, but I had actually been doing just that for quite some time. (About the same time that I headed off to college)
Last edited by iknoritesrsly on Thu Aug 09, 2007 4:02 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.
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Later, Plato was asked what he thought of Diogenes. "A Socrates gone mad," he replied.
Diogenes ridiculed Plato for being long-winded.

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Belial
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Postby Belial » Thu Aug 09, 2007 4:02 pm UTC

I always find it really bizare when my friends parents stay with them in their crappy tiny apartments on uncomfortable couches or such. My dad stays in a hotel.


Assuming that's at least partially a reference to mine, this was in anticipation of her being somewhat homeless for a period of time in the near future.

Which was why it was such an "Ahh, so the tables have turned" moment.
addams wrote:A drunk neighbor is better than a sober Belial.


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Postby Sprocket » Thu Aug 09, 2007 4:07 pm UTC

Belial wrote:
I always find it really bizare when my friends parents stay with them in their crappy tiny apartments on uncomfortable couches or such. My dad stays in a hotel.


Assuming that's at least partially a reference to mine, this was in anticipation of her being somewhat homeless for a period of time in the near future.

Which was why it was such an "Ahh, so the tables have turned" moment.


No I understood yours was a special case, but it brought this to mind.

iknoritesrsly wrote:For me it hit when I realized that I was not only capable of taking care of myself on my own, but I had actually been doing just that for quite some time. (About the same time that I headed off to college)

So why is your icon Brad Pitt on atrophy?
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I Zimbra
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Postby I Zimbra » Thu Aug 09, 2007 4:10 pm UTC

The first time I felt like an adult was when, at age 20, I dropped out of college, moved in with my girlfriend, and got a real job. These were all terrible decisions, but they were decisions I made on my own and I felt like master of my destiny.

Six years later I realized I was wasting my destiny on the couch, smoking pot and playing Double Dash. Suddenly I understood why that was such a bad thing, and got my ass back to school.

But I'm still convinced you aren't a true adult until you host Thanksgiving dinner.
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Postby Sabatnoogen » Thu Aug 09, 2007 4:16 pm UTC

BiancaBlack wrote:
bookishbunny wrote:What made me realize I was an adult was when I could have a candy dish in my house and eat from it when I choose. Seriously.


I realized I actually like red wine, and sparkling water. That had me worried for a while, but this proves adulthood is still a long way off. ;)


ahahahaha. i totally agree.



For me it was two things:
1) Checking my personal credit score for the first time.
2) The first Sunday night I spent ironing all my work shirts for the week. That's when I knew there was no going back.

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(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻
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Postby (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ » Thu Aug 09, 2007 4:19 pm UTC

Yesterday. It was a hard realization... made all the harder because I didn't ingest or inhale anything mind-altering yesterday. Which was part of the reason, maybe.
Mostly it was just that suddenly I realized I have to keep my job even if I don't like it, and I have to work hard even if I don't want to, because even though I don't get paid very well, it's better than retail, and I have health insurance. Suddenly, my life is less about what I want to do and more about what I have to do. Since it was really only about what I want to do for the five years I was in college (getting a four year degree, heh) that is kind of lame. And I'm rebelling against it.
I also realized that most of the new friends I'm making lately are old enough that I don't have to *ask* if they're 21 before saying 'let's go to the bar.' That's kinda weird, cause historically all of my friends are at least 2 years younger than I, so ever since I turned 21 I've always had the problem of not being able to go out with all my friends.

That said, I don't think I'll ever *really* grow up. Cause I don't have to until way after my dad does, and he's almost 60 and hasn't grown up yet.

And I can't WAIT to make my next cushion fort.
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