I can't decide what should i do with the rest of my life

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priapus
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I can't decide what should i do with the rest of my life

Postby priapus » Tue Aug 14, 2007 10:37 am UTC

..
Last edited by priapus on Mon Aug 20, 2007 6:31 am UTC, edited 1 time in total.

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Postby evilbeanfiend » Tue Aug 14, 2007 10:49 am UTC

first realise that not knowing what you 'should' be doing is normal, then relax. its virtually impossible to tell what you really want to do without first doing it for 6 months. given how employment works nowadays you will almost certainly change jobs in a few years, if only to get a decent pay rise doing the same thing, this should give you a chance to try some variations from what you currently do if you want. if you don't know what you want to study id say grad school isn't for you.
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Postby fjafjan » Tue Aug 14, 2007 10:54 am UTC

You should spend your life collecting bottle caps, and then making a picture of them so large that it can ONLY be viewed from space. This is your call, you have been chosen. you may have apprentices in this task if you yourself cannot complete it.
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Postby TheKhakinator » Tue Aug 14, 2007 11:07 am UTC

I was thinking about this lately.

I realised that not only do I have to go to school every weekday for the next 3 months, but after that I'm planning to go to uni for 4 years.

Then 30 years of work.

It sounded very sucky in my head. I want to mix it up as much as possible, even if it is only in one field, I want to try different jobs in different places.

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Re: I can't decide what should i do with the rest of my life

Postby Bugs » Tue Aug 14, 2007 11:20 am UTC

priapus wrote:Grad school has crossed my mind, but I can't even fucking decide what subject to study. Come to think of it, I can't even remember how I chose my undergrad majors. Not to mention I don't feel like dropping 5+ more years of my life on something I'm not sure about.

Seriously, don't go to grad school unless you're sure that's what you want to do and have a passion for the subject. It's a long time, and a hell of a lot of effort to spend on something you're not sure about.

It's great to find a job that's exciting and fulfilling, and you definitely need to find one you're reasonably happy with. But remember that your job isn't necessarily your life's work; it's a means of funding the fun stuff you really want to do.

Disclaimer:
I'm 23 and still in university, so can't claim to have any great perspective and haven't yet finished road-testing this philosophy.
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Postby Easton » Tue Aug 14, 2007 11:23 am UTC

I get the same feeling - that 9 to 5, monday to friday, every day for the rest of your life doesn't appeal. At least, not in many of the jobs that there are out there. I can think of a couple that would.

Well, there's my answer right there. I'll just do one of them. 8)

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Postby Hawknc » Tue Aug 14, 2007 11:29 am UTC

That's pretty much what I'm doing. I'm still not entirely sure how I landed my upcoming job, I keep half-expecting them to email me and tell me they made a grave error and they accidentally employed the wrong person or something.

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Postby (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ » Tue Aug 14, 2007 11:34 am UTC

I'm 26, and the absolute last thing I want to do is the job that I'm doing right now, for more than say, 3 years.

I just came out of University two years ago, and I've had my current job for a year, but I'm an administrative assistant so it's really not fulfilling.

But hey, I might go back to school. Really it's just a matter of me figuring out how I'm going to afford that. But right now, I'm happy to have a job that lets me be free to do what I want on the weekends, and afford my gym membership. Most of my friends are now post-college, and I think for the most part we're just getting jobs that make us happy enough that we don't have to stress about them at the end of the day.
I have friends who work IT, accounting, construction, teach, etc- and the thing we all have in common is the fact that we come home at the end of the day and do what really makes us happy- Write, play video games, make art, make music, surf the intarblag, etc. Actually finding that one job for me is going to be hard. But I know between now and then that I can and will be making and doing some pretty cool things, so it's ok. As long as the bills get paid, it doesn't really matter what I'm doing from 9-5.
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Postby TheTankengine » Tue Aug 14, 2007 12:12 pm UTC

This guy knows what's up:
Donnie wrote:You know what? No one ever knows what they want to be when they grow up. You know it takes a little, little while to find that out, right, Jim? And you... yeah, you. Sick of some jerk shoving your head down the toilet? Well, you know what? Maybe... you should lift some weights, or uh, take a karate lesson and the next time he's tries to do it, you kick him in the balls.


Well, that probably doesn't help too much. I just like that quote a lot, and I've been on a Donnie Darko kick lately...

But now, for the real advice. From Adaptation:
Susan Orlean wrote: I suppose I do have one unembarrassed passion. I want to know how it feels to care about something passionately.


Find your passion. That thing that makes you want to get up every day and experience all the wonder that life has to offer. Something that drives you to learn about the world and about yourself. If you want your life to matter, you need to be passionate about something. The best way to start, is to become passionate about finding something you care about passionately. Try anything and everything, and don't stop until you're dead. Embrace life, it's the only chance you get.
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Postby TheKhakinator » Tue Aug 14, 2007 12:27 pm UTC

TheTankengine wrote:This guy knows what's up:
Donnie wrote:You know what? No one ever knows what they want to be when they grow up. You know it takes a little, little while to find that out, right, Jim? And you... yeah, you. Sick of some jerk shoving your head down the toilet? Well, you know what? Maybe... you should lift some weights, or uh, take a karate lesson and the next time he's tries to do it, you kick him in the balls.


Well, that probably doesn't help too much. I just like that quote a lot, and I've been on a Donnie Darko kick lately...

lol, saw that movie just last night. Freeeeeeeeky.

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Postby thedufer » Tue Aug 14, 2007 12:39 pm UTC

I'm too young to have any viable advice, more of a question. How did you decide what to major in? This goes for everyone. I'm only a few months from college app deadlines and I have two groups of universities: Princeton/William and Mary for physics or Virginia Tech/Olin/Cornell/University of Rochester (although I've heard bad things about U of R. bleh.) for either cmputer science or engineering. So how did you guys decide? I feel like 4 years of high school really isn't enough time to decide majors, and switching majors isn't really a viable option as I will choose my university primarily based on my major choice.

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Postby evilbeanfiend » Tue Aug 14, 2007 12:43 pm UTC

Hawknc wrote:That's pretty much what I'm doing. I'm still not entirely sure how I landed my upcoming job, I keep half-expecting them to email me and tell me they made a grave error and they accidentally employed the wrong person or something.


yes thats the other side of not knowing what you want to do, once you do you don't know why people pay you to do it.

p.s. love your new avatar
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Postby Bugs » Tue Aug 14, 2007 12:49 pm UTC

TheTankengine wrote:Try anything and everything, and don't stop until you're dead.
Or even after that, if you get bitten in the zombie epidemic.

More on topic, my life plan is basically to have fun and keep on learning. I figure anything more closely defined than that will probably get derailed and possibly distract me from cool oppertunities. You might end up as one of the lucky few who combine their work with pleasure (I've known this apply to teachers, scientists, actors etc); chances are this will take some time to find. You're young and have plenty of time -- feel free to experiment. In the meantime, your job is a means to an end.
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Postby Hawknc » Tue Aug 14, 2007 1:16 pm UTC

evilbeanfiend wrote:p.s. love your new avatar

Thanks. :D

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Postby TheTankengine » Tue Aug 14, 2007 1:20 pm UTC

Bugs wrote:
TheTankengine wrote:Try anything and everything, and don't stop until you're dead.
Or even after that, if you get bitten in the zombie epidemic.


Haha, excellent point! I didn't even consider that. If one was passionate about zombies, that would pretty much be the ideal solution, I guess. As long as there are brains to eat, it's like eternal life, right?

Does anyone know the life expectancy of a brain-eating zombie?
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Postby rockintom99 » Tue Aug 14, 2007 3:12 pm UTC

Gah, this has been bugging me a bunch lately as well. Life is totally pointless, and I am unable to cope with it yet :(
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Postby (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ » Tue Aug 14, 2007 3:16 pm UTC

rockintom99 wrote: Life is totally pointless, and I am unable to cope with it yet :(


I was watching TV with my favorite 3-year-old and his crazy uncle the other day, and us two adults sat in wonder as we saw 'Kipper' the chill British cartoon doggy we were watching, say, "Nothing ever happens. Not really. Nothing. Ever. Really. Happens."

Start the kids off young. Good plan.

This is true though, nothing ever really happens. Unless, of course, you make it happen. SO make some shit happen!
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Postby Jesse » Tue Aug 14, 2007 3:22 pm UTC

I have lived out my dreams and I haven't even turned twenty yet (This Friday for those free with money/breasts).

I passed through education, I own a bookshop, I have trained to be a wrestler and now am master of ceremonies for the two best wrestling companies in the North-West of England.

My advice to you is, take a chance. Decide you want to do something and DO it. All of what's happened in my life is a result of that. I got an e-mail about a wrestling gym and, instead of coming up with reasons not to do it, I did it. I turn up to a show to watch and the promoter tells me his MC hasn't showed up and could I do it, so I did. I'm talking to a guy that runs a bookshop when he tells me he wants to sell, I ask him how much and things went from there.

Just, never ever let yourself be held back. Even if it all fails, you will know that you tried.

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Postby Toeofdoom » Tue Aug 14, 2007 3:23 pm UTC

You failed to mention like, *any* of your interests. I mean, really?

Lets see... I plan to become a video game developer (for a company that only makes high quality sci-fi games if possible, but you know, whatever.) and also get better at music and rock out. Doesnt matter if its at home, a pub, or a filled venue or in a studio, as long as I'm rocking out. I also plan to go into hyperactivemonkeymode every now and then, but not too often.

Oh and lots of partys, and play lots of computer games aswell.

Also, it would be great to eventually go like, hiking through a forest or something, with company of course, but I would have to plan that alot first.

Then theres getting good at archery aswell, thats always cool.




I mean, you've said "I dont want to be stuck in some job where I do the same thing every day." No shit. What *do* you want to do?

EDIT: I'm 17 and in first year uni, but I have plenty of things to do, thats for sure. You've gotta be able to find something...?

Alternatively, quit your job and lurk/post on the fora 24/7
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Postby mosc » Tue Aug 14, 2007 3:23 pm UTC

just remember what my grandfather taught me. "If you liked your job, they wouldn't pay you to be there. Work is only there to finance the rest of your life".

Find something you can tolerate. Try to move up as you can for more money means a little easier life. Join the rest of us who don't really like our jobs and find other ways to keep yourself entertained.
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Postby TheTankengine » Tue Aug 14, 2007 3:25 pm UTC

Meaux_Pas wrote:
rockintom99 wrote: Life is totally pointless, and I am unable to cope with it yet :(


I was watching TV with my favorite 3-year-old and his crazy uncle the other day, and us two adults sat in wonder as we saw 'Kipper' the chill British cartoon doggy we were watching, say, "Nothing ever happens. Not really. Nothing. Ever. Really. Happens."

Start the kids off young. Good plan.

This is true though, nothing ever really happens. Unless, of course, you make it happen. SO make some shit happen!


So Kipper was going through some existential angst?

Personally, i find that sentiment to be pure fucking bullshit.

Stuff happens all the time. People get murdered, people make sacrifices for their families, people fall in love, people fall out of love, people cheat, lie, and steal, people make honorable choices, people discover the undiscovered, people invent, people destroy. Right now there is someone having their first kiss, someone eating the best meal they've ever tasted, someone listening to a song that opens their mind, someone getting stabbed, someone screaming their lungs out with all the passion in their heart, someone having an orgasm and someone robbing a bank.

Life is intense. Life is random. Life can end at any moment. If you think the world is a boring place, shut the hell up 'cause I don't want to hear it!

[end rant here]
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Re: I can't decide what should i do with the rest of my life

Postby lukkucairi » Tue Aug 14, 2007 3:38 pm UTC

priapus wrote:So what now? Do I do this for 40 years until I retire and die? Last week there was a retirement party for a guy who did just that (though he's still alive). He spent 30 years of his life in an administrative position. He was good at his job, people loved him, and now he's retired. Life goes on as usual. Now, I suppose there's honor in getting up every morning and going to a place where others depend on you. I just don't think that type of life is for me.


If you want not to be stuck in a rut, you can kick your own ass out of it or you can find someone else to do it for you. The latter is easier, but also immensely more annoying in the long run.

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Postby ZeroSum » Tue Aug 14, 2007 3:48 pm UTC

Enjoy it.

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Postby Teshi » Tue Aug 14, 2007 3:56 pm UTC

Next year I graduate with a double major in English and History (assuming I graduate- having frustration with course and degree registration at the moment). I know that grad school (unless it's a MFA- fine arts) isn't for me and getting an MFA at the moment is financially unviable.

I want to write fiction for a living, but that is also financially unviable, so I need to get a job that has, you know, income. Let the panic begin!

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Postby Jesse » Tue Aug 14, 2007 4:02 pm UTC

Teshi wrote:Next year I graduate with a double major in English and History (assuming I graduate- having frustration with course and degree registration at the moment). I know that grad school (unless it's a MFA- fine arts) isn't for me and getting an MFA at the moment is financially unviable.

I want to write fiction for a living, but that is also financially unviable, so I need to get a job that has, you know, income. Let the panic begin!


Work in a restaurant or cafe and follow your dream of writing. Make just enough money to live (Because I've tried the starving artist thing, mostly you are too hungry to concentrate) and spend your spare time writing.

PM me with what you write, I may be able to point you in the right direction.

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Postby 22/7 » Tue Aug 14, 2007 4:02 pm UTC

Yay! I don't know what I want to do with my life either! I'm in grad school because no one who offered me a job seemed good to work for. So now I'm doing that and looking for internships/other jobs. It'll give me a year to get my shit together, which is nice. I've also thought about studying my ass off and taking the MCATs, so that's an option. But I'm an engineer by major, so I'm not sure how the whole medschool thing would go. Probably ought to take anatomy or something, huh?
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Postby rachel » Tue Aug 14, 2007 4:05 pm UTC

Hey. Guys. Let me give you some advice. Don't worry about it. Do what makes you happy. If you make great money doing that, then awesome! And if you make mediocre money doing that, so be it. But there is just no sense spending your life doing a job that makes you unhappy every day. None at all. And if you can't do exactly what makes you happy (like Teshi can't be a writer because of money) then do something related that earns you money while you do what you want on the side and makes you not-miserable at the same time. For example, I want to be a fiction author as well, but I know that I couldn't support myself doing just that. So I'm going to teach English or a creative writing class or something of the sort because I enjoy teaching and helping people and English and writing things. Bottom line: don't worry about what you have to do or should do, worry about how happy what you are doing is making you. I guarantee that you'll regret every day you spend in a job that makes you miserable. And you don't have to figure it out right this second. You have lots of time.
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Re: I can't decide what should i do with the rest of my life

Postby gmalivuk » Tue Aug 14, 2007 5:46 pm UTC

priapus wrote:Do I do this for 40 years until I retire and die?


If you think that's what you should do, then that's what you deserve to do.

I went straight from HS to uni. Then I traveled a bit in New Zealand and Australia. Then I lived with my aunt and uncle for awhile and made plans to do a bit of English teaching. Now I'm nearing the end of almost a year of doing that in Chiapas. In October I'm going back to my aunt and uncle's for a bit, then home (Michigan) for the holidays, then to California (probably). There I hope to get a job (probably teaching English again) and establish in-state residency, before applying to UC law schools.

After that (law school, which itself is a plan that may yet change), I have no idea. And I don't care that I have no idea. Planning more than a couple years ahead is stupid, especially when you don't yet have a family to think of. (Obviously, once you've got kids, the nice thing to do is kind of give a fuck about whether you'll continue earning enough to feed them and such.)

But single people just out of college who have their lives all planned out are, in my opinion, pretty fucking boring.
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Postby Kawa » Tue Aug 14, 2007 6:19 pm UTC

As a contrast, here are my plans.

* Next year: Go to Beijing to see the Summer Olympics. (Hopefully.)
* Get internships. Work is good. Money is good. Experience is awesome.
* Finish college.
* Find career that will make the next parts financially viable without me feeling like I'm useless/not doing anything worthwhile. (This will involve some traveling, some time, and probably a few headaches. I'm okay with that.)
* As soon as financially viable after college, marry the man I was meant to marry. (I've found him. It's just finances and parents and circumstance in the way now.)
* As soon as financially viable after that, have children. (three children, ~3 years apart each. Hopefully one boy and two girls but that's unpredictable. Number of children will vary depending on viability, any diseases one would have, et cetera.)
* Raise children, with man I have married, while balancing decent-to-good job and raising kids and maintaining relationship with now-husband...oh, and saving for retirement too.

While all this is going on:
* Continue participation at local churches. (I'm a cantor.)
* Continue improving origami, it's a passion of mine.
* Continue loving/finding out about Asian pop culture

After they leave the nest I might do more work, maybe go back to grad school like my mom did, definitely do more traveling. Retirement will hopefully be to someplace warm and sunny that'll let me continue doing the above and fly kites while I'm at it.

This may look yawningly boring to some people, but I find it really exhilarating to live such a fulfilling, meaningful life. If done right, it'll give anecdotal evidence that:
* Balancing a good career and raising good children is not only possible, it's good
* Good, healthy relationships don't have to die with marriage, or even with raising children
* It's possible (and good) to be able to have a bluntly honest relationship between parents and children
* A "Good Catholic Woman" doesn't have to stay in the house and raise the kids at all
* ...Or even go into a "typically female" profession (I'm hoping to be an actuary. Barring that, a banker.)
* One can hold onto the interests one had in their youth
* Parents aren't boring people

These are important things to me, and I need plans to set them in motion. I like the life I want to lead. :)
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Postby Aoeniac » Tue Aug 14, 2007 6:22 pm UTC

You should spend the rest of your life wondering what you're going to do with the rest of your life. You'll be more interesting.
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Postby tehlaser » Tue Aug 14, 2007 6:35 pm UTC

Quite a few people here have suggested that work is just a way to pay the bills to do what you really want to do. Be careful with this idea. The typical full-time job plus the time you spend supporting it will consume the majority of your waking hours. Don't live for the weekends, its depressing and entirely unfulfilling.

Find something you're passionate about and do it. Try to get paid for it if you can. You probably can. If you really can't, get a part-time job to pay for your passion. Try again to get paid every couple of years.

And while you're at it, try to get me to follow my own advice.

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Postby Verator » Tue Aug 14, 2007 6:36 pm UTC

Pull the einstein route. Work in a patent office and revolutionize astro-physics on the side.
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Postby Jesse » Tue Aug 14, 2007 6:38 pm UTC

Verator wrote:Pull the einstein route. Work in a patent office and revolutionize astro-physics on the side.


Be a plumber!

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Postby ZeroSum » Tue Aug 14, 2007 6:45 pm UTC

Jesster wrote:Be a plumber!
And save the Princess from the evil lizard?

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Postby Bugs » Tue Aug 14, 2007 6:58 pm UTC

ZeroSum wrote:
Jesster wrote:Be a plumber!
And save the Princess from the evil lizard?

Has some poor princess been kidnapped by Belia... Oh, I forgot about his hat. Nevermind.
...or is it?

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Postby dagron » Tue Aug 14, 2007 10:04 pm UTC

I just graduated as well. I've decided on grad school (partly because after working some internships, I really don't want to spend the next 30 years working jobs like that.) While I feel really good about it now, and it's nice to have a plan, I'm sure 5 years from now I'll be asking myself "now what?" all over again. I have yet to find anything to be passionate about.

And my goal of being the first Nobel laureate on Mars seems a tad unrealistic.

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Postby Bugs » Tue Aug 14, 2007 11:29 pm UTC

dagron wrote:And my goal of being the first Nobel laureate on Mars seems a tad unrealistic.
Yeah, I'm wayahead of you. You can have venus though.
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Postby Jesse » Tue Aug 14, 2007 11:31 pm UTC

Here is the one point that needs making:

Stop asking other people about what you should do and just fucking do whatever you want to do.

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Vaniver
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Postby Vaniver » Tue Aug 14, 2007 11:41 pm UTC

Here's another point:

Other people can be wiser than you, and getting help from them is a good idea. But casting your net wide instead of seeking out a specific mentor may not be a good idea.
I mostly post over at LessWrong now.

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Jesse
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Postby Jesse » Tue Aug 14, 2007 11:44 pm UTC

I apologise, my post was needlessly aggressive. I should not be taking out certain emotions on fora members who do not deserve it.


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