Portal!

Of the Tabletop, and other, lesser varieties.

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Torvaun
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Re: Portal!

Postby Torvaun » Thu Jan 10, 2008 9:48 pm UTC

"A complimentary victory lift has been provided for you."
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Re: Portal!

Postby cypherspace » Sat Jan 12, 2008 1:50 am UTC

I'm glad this thread has been brought up now I've joined, as I can state my absolutely serious opinion that Portal is quite simply one of the finest videogames that has ever been made. There is almost nothing that is so enjoyable throughout its entire length, and I don't think I've ever played anything with more charm and humour. I fell in love with it as soon as it told me that the next test was impossible, and it just got better and better from there.
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Re: Portal!

Postby aion7 » Sun Jan 13, 2008 1:31 am UTC

Portal is awesome. End of story. Now if I could just find out how to beat level 18 I'd be a happy man.
Slight spoiler for level 18.
Spoiler:
I know I have to put a portal on the low platform, then jump in to launch myself out somewhere, but I don't know where. I want to see the ending, damn it!


Major spoiler for the first companion cube level
Spoiler:
That level was my favorite so far. I was barely able to drop my cube in the incinerator. It saddened me beyond belief, and I already knew it would happen. It had more an effect on me than I could ever have expected. And that hidden writing was awesome beyond belief. The calender was a bit disturbing though. Actually all the things whoever it is that writes that stuff writes is disturbing and awesome.


Also, it has some of the best humor in any game ever. Subtle, dark, and otherwise.
Spoiler:
Zeroignite wrote:And you have suddenly become awesome.

joshz wrote:Oh, you so win.

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Re: Portal!

Postby Torvaun » Sun Jan 13, 2008 1:37 am UTC

aion7 wrote:Portal is awesome. End of story. Now if I could just find out how to beat level 18 I'd be a happy man.
Slight spoiler for level 18.
Spoiler:
I know I have to put a portal on the low platform, then jump in to launch myself out somewhere, but I don't know where. I want to see the ending, damn it!

Spoiler:
You're going to portal hop. Low floor gets a portal, and low platform gets a portal. You plummet through, launch up, and can see a new place to put a portal. If you can't get it from there, there may be no helping you.
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Re: Portal!

Postby aion7 » Tue Jan 15, 2008 1:36 pm UTC

Torvaun wrote:
aion7 wrote:Portal is awesome. End of story. Now if I could just find out how to beat level 18 I'd be a happy man.
Slight spoiler for level 18.
Spoiler:
I know I have to put a portal on the low platform, then jump in to launch myself out somewhere, but I don't know where. I want to see the ending, damn it!

Spoiler:
You're going to portal hop. Low floor gets a portal, and low platform gets a portal. You plummet through, launch up, and can see a new place to put a portal. If you can't get it from there, there may be no helping you.

That wasn't what I didn't get. I was stuck for an entirely different reason
Spoiler:
You know that switch you use to activate the moving platform? I hadn't noticed it was a switch.


Well, I beat it now, and got the Partygoer achievement. Spoiler for end of game with said achievement:
Spoiler:
What the hell, man? The cake isn't a lie. And who the hell wrote those things on the walls. I thought I'd find out.
Still, It's an awesome game, and I just can't believe how I got it for only $50. The end credits rocked but, so did everything else, so...
Spoiler:
Zeroignite wrote:And you have suddenly become awesome.

joshz wrote:Oh, you so win.

internets++ for aion7.

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Re: Portal!

Postby MotorToad » Tue Jan 15, 2008 8:40 pm UTC

aion7 wrote:
Spoiler:
What the hell, man? The cake isn't a lie. And who the hell wrote those things on the walls. I thought I'd find out.
Still, It's an awesome game, and I just can't believe how I got it for only $50. The end credits rocked but, so did everything else, so...
I think that was to show that the others before you had failed. For them, the cake was a lie.

But you? No, it says that you were the one! You did it better than everyone else. You went forth where others were baked. Just like the rest of us. :D
aion7 wrote:
Spoiler:
That level was my favorite so far. I was barely able to drop my cube in the incinerator. It saddened me beyond belief, and I already knew it would happen. It had more an effect on me than I could ever have expected. And that hidden writing was awesome beyond belief. The calender was a bit disturbing though. Actually all the things whoever it is that writes that stuff writes is disturbing and awesome.

That's odd. I seem to recall you euthanized your companion cube more quickly than previous test subjects! :D
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Re: Portal!

Postby Mother Superior » Tue Jan 15, 2008 9:42 pm UTC

Still pushing a friend on to finish Portal. She loves it but for one reason or another needs to be nagged.
Spoiler:
She's on chamber 18 and she seriously believes chamber 19 to be the last one.
Isn't it cute?

Also, I'm ordering the Aperture Science poster pack from Valve and am thinking about which shirt to buy. I wanted the cup but it's sold out :(
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Re: Portal!

Postby b.i.o » Tue Jan 15, 2008 11:39 pm UTC

Torvaun wrote:
aion7 wrote:Portal is awesome. End of story. Now if I could just find out how to beat level 18 I'd be a happy man.
Slight spoiler for level 18.
Spoiler:
I know I have to put a portal on the low platform, then jump in to launch myself out somewhere, but I don't know where. I want to see the ending, damn it!

Spoiler:
You're going to portal hop. Low floor gets a portal, and low platform gets a portal. You plummet through, launch up, and can see a new place to put a portal. If you can't get it from there, there may be no helping you.

To clarify a bit:
Spoiler:
You put the blue portal on the low platform, orange at the bottom of the shaft. You jump down, come out of the blue portal, and place the orange on the top of the next-lowest platform. Then you come out of the orange and put the blue on the next platform. Repeat until done.

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Re: Portal!

Postby mosc » Tue Jan 15, 2008 11:40 pm UTC

I stopped there too for about 2 months before I could be bothered to go finish it. Why? Because the game gets boring.

There. I said it. It's really short and if it were any longer, it would be way too long. As a "throw in", I loved it. However, I didn't replay it 5x times and cry when it was over. I probably would never have gotten farther than your friend either if it weren't for all my nerdy friends telling me how ridiculously awesome the game is. I paid $50 for Team Fortress 2. Portal just helped me justify paying that much for an online only shooter.

now you can all hate me for my sacrilege.
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Re: Portal!

Postby EvanED » Wed Jan 16, 2008 1:00 am UTC

I just watched a speed run of Portal yesterday on youtube. 18 minutes. It blew my mind no less than four times with utterly crazy solutions.

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Re: Portal!

Postby Ian Ex Machina » Sat Jan 19, 2008 6:28 pm UTC

Portal: A Day in the Life of a Turret.

Funny! and pretty much what the link says.
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Re: Portal!

Postby Dobblesworth » Wed Jan 30, 2008 12:33 am UTC

Picked up a copy of the Orange Box yesterday (had to return it as the girl packing the discs at the checkout forgot to add the slip with project registration code). My main intention for the £35 (in descending order) was:
- Play Portal
- Half Life 2 Episodes
- Team Fortress 2

Ran through Portal over the course of this evening. 2-3hrs for levels going up to 17, then the last few (including the industrial area escape mode) took forever (with regular tabbing down to YouTube video guides). I'm leaving GLaDOS for tomorrow, but I essentially know how to down her.

Maybe that xkcd comic with the anti-bot detection should be updated to reflect Portal.
i.e. "When LitteFoot's mum died in Land Before Time, did you feel sad?" becomes
"When you were forced to incinerate the love-heart weighted companion cube, did you feel sad?"

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Re: Portal!

Postby The Ethos » Wed Jan 30, 2008 5:14 am UTC

I didn't look in the thread to see if it's been mentioned....but I have read quite a few places that it's interesting that most gamers are far more willing to rip a slug out of a little girl's guts GIVEN THE CHOICE TO DO SO....then drop an inanimate cube into an incinerator.

/Seriously, people are haunted by that moment.
//Has his plush cube though
///No intelligence incineration for you, my sweet.
////What did you say cube? kill them all????
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Re: Portal!

Postby EvanED » Wed Jan 30, 2008 5:46 am UTC

Dobblesworth wrote:Maybe that xkcd comic with the anti-bot detection should be updated to reflect Portal.
i.e. "When LitteFoot's mum died in Land Before Time, did you feel sad?" becomes
"When you were forced to incinerate the love-heart weighted companion cube, did you feel sad?"

Am I the only one who was like "eh, whatever" and didn't care beyond the fact that it provided a bunch of good lines from GLaDOS?

Maybe I'm a bot.

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Re: Portal!

Postby Pai » Wed Jan 30, 2008 5:57 pm UTC

EvanED wrote:Am I the only one who was like "eh, whatever" and didn't care beyond the fact that it provided a bunch of good lines from GLaDOS?

Maybe I'm a bot.


It didn't do anything to me, either.
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Re: Portal!

Postby rrwoods » Wed Jan 30, 2008 6:36 pm UTC

Pai wrote:
EvanED wrote:Am I the only one who was like "eh, whatever" and didn't care beyond the fact that it provided a bunch of good lines from GLaDOS?

Maybe I'm a bot.


It didn't do anything to me, either.

Me neither. I think it was the hype, personally; for those that had no expectations, the whole cube bit was priceless, but for those of us who played that game after they heard the masses screaming about how great it was, it was different.

[ also, pai, i like your avatar a lot, but pick a game 8) ]
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Re: Portal!

Postby EvanED » Wed Jan 30, 2008 6:55 pm UTC

I didn't know about the cube before getting to that level. I had seen some of the hype of the game in general, and I think it lived up to it. But I still think the only things the companion cube contributed were (1) teaching you mechanics (the incinerator), (2) over a standard weighted storage cube, the instruction that you needed to take it throughout the level, and (3) a bunch of good lines.

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Re: Portal!

Postby Token » Wed Jan 30, 2008 9:57 pm UTC

EvanED wrote:I didn't know about the cube before getting to that level. I had seen some of the hype of the game in general, and I think it lived up to it. But I still think the only things the companion cube contributed were (1) teaching you mechanics (the incinerator), (2) over a standard weighted storage cube, the instruction that you needed to take it throughout the level, and (3) a bunch of good lines.

Fuck you, and fuck your worthless, hatemongering shit. The companion cube was twice the man, woman or child you'll ever be.
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Re: Portal!

Postby Allium Cepa » Wed Jan 30, 2008 10:14 pm UTC

Ian Ex Machina wrote:Portal: A Day in the Life of a Turret.

Funny! and pretty much what the link says.


That was hilarious. I hope they use those turrets as a tie in for Episode Three, as like the new combine ones or either as ones the resistance can use.
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Re: Portal!

Postby Pai » Wed Jan 30, 2008 11:40 pm UTC

rrwoods wrote:[ also, pai, i like your avatar a lot, but pick a game 8) ]


eh?
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Re: Portal!

Postby SecondTalon » Thu Jan 31, 2008 12:03 am UTC

Pai wrote:
rrwoods wrote:[ also, pai, i like your avatar a lot, but pick a game 8) ]


eh?


The background is Super Mario Brothers, the mushrooms appear to be from Super Mario Brothers 3 to my untrained eye.
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Re: Portal!

Postby Kerberos » Thu Jan 31, 2008 12:44 am UTC

Has anyone here found a way to run Portal on a Mac (specifically a MacBook)? It sounds and looks like a marvelous game, but I don't have a Windows machine. I have an XP Parallels virtual machine, but I'm not sure if I can channel enough power through Parallels to run something as graphics-intensive as Portal.

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Re: Portal!

Postby EvanED » Thu Jan 31, 2008 1:07 am UTC

What about boot camp?

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Re: Portal!

Postby Kerberos » Thu Jan 31, 2008 1:46 am UTC

Don't have it. If there's a way to run Portal with it, I might try, but I remember it being a huge hassle to install XP.

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Re: Portal!

Postby rrwoods » Thu Jan 31, 2008 1:52 pm UTC

SecondTalon wrote:The background is Super Mario Brothers, the mushrooms appear to be from Super Mario Brothers 3 to my untrained eye.

Yep.
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Re: Portal!

Postby Toeofdoom » Sat Feb 02, 2008 12:44 pm UTC

Kerberos wrote:Don't have it. If there's a way to run Portal with it, I might try, but I remember it being a huge hassle to install XP.


You could install vista, apparently the install process is easier.

Hahaha.


Anyway, I think I had incinerated my cube before GLaDOS even stopped talking. Although I rescued all the little sisters in bioshock so its kinda the opposite for me from The Ethos' comment.
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Re: Portal!

Postby shmack92 » Sun Feb 03, 2008 8:52 am UTC

major development: I have made a real Portal Cake, and no it is not a lie. And it is much better than those strawberry knockoffs on the interblag.

...pics coming soon
Image

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Re: Portal!

Postby Torvaun » Sun Feb 03, 2008 4:53 pm UTC

shmack92 wrote:major development: I have made a real Portal Cake, and no it is not a lie. And it is much better than those strawberry knockoffs on the interblag.

You didn't skimp on the sediment-shaped sediment, did you? People never use enough...
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Re: Portal!

Postby shmack92 » Sun Feb 03, 2008 10:48 pm UTC

:( nobody wanted to cut it with me for my birthday

edit: spoiler'd for size. They are kind of blurry. Newer ones are coming.


original
Spoiler:
Image

Spoiler:
IMG_0290.JPG
this was a triumph
IMG_0290.JPG (1.35 MiB) Viewed 3938 times

Spoiler:
IMG_0289.JPG
huge success
IMG_0289.JPG (1002.43 KiB) Viewed 3921 times

Spoiler:
IMG_0288.JPG
the cake
IMG_0288.JPG (1.22 MiB) Viewed 3858 times
:cry:
Last edited by shmack92 on Mon Feb 04, 2008 6:34 am UTC, edited 1 time in total.
Image

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Re: Portal!

Postby Thousand » Sun Feb 03, 2008 11:06 pm UTC

hahaha awesome :D pretty spot on too!

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Re: Portal!

Postby aion7 » Mon Feb 04, 2008 1:34 am UTC

You did put fish shaped human waste in their, right?
Spoiler:
Zeroignite wrote:And you have suddenly become awesome.

joshz wrote:Oh, you so win.

internets++ for aion7.

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Re: Portal!

Postby Torvaun » Mon Feb 04, 2008 1:49 am UTC

Holy huge pictures, batman. You probably ought to spoiler it, or the mods will just delete it, and future generations won't be able to see your cake.
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Re: Portal!

Postby SomeoneElse » Mon Feb 04, 2008 1:58 am UTC

Awesome! That's gotta win at least a few internets.

...man, all that cakeperving has made me hungry. Send piece plz.

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Re: Portal!

Postby hyperion » Mon Feb 04, 2008 2:11 am UTC

shmack92 wrote:<MASSIVE PICS>

Spoiler them please.
That's pretty well done
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But I digress.

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Re: Portal!

Postby shmack92 » Mon Feb 04, 2008 3:09 am UTC

(noobage/)how do i spoiler an attatchment?(noobag)

EDIT: Thank you everyone for your assistance and non-inflammatory response.
Last edited by shmack92 on Mon Feb 04, 2008 6:37 am UTC, edited 1 time in total.
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hyperion
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Re: Portal!

Postby hyperion » Mon Feb 04, 2008 3:13 am UTC

shmack92 wrote:(noobage/)how do i spoiler an attatchment?(noobag)

Spoiler:
There's a "spoiler" button at the top of the edit/new post page, under "quote"
Alternatively, just put [*spoiler]<content>[*/spoiler] without the *'s
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But I digress.

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Re: Portal!

Postby 4=5 » Mon Feb 04, 2008 3:16 am UTC

shmack92 wrote::( nobody wanted to cut it with me for my birthday

sorry for size


original
Spoiler:
Image

like this

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Re: Portal!

Postby Stief » Mon Feb 04, 2008 8:20 pm UTC

I made this due to boredom ^_^

The music inspired the video :D
Enjoy!
Spoiler:

Pokeportal.wmv [ 1.2 MiB | Viewed 3325 times ]

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Re: Portal!

Postby Torvaun » Mon Feb 04, 2008 10:31 pm UTC

Stief wrote:I made this due to boredom ^_^

The music inspired the video :D
Enjoy!
Spoiler:
Pokeportal.wmv

Sweet. Now I want a portal pokemon, not that I have any idea what kinds of moves it would have.
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Re: Portal!

Postby Dobblesworth » Mon Feb 04, 2008 10:48 pm UTC

Stief wrote:I made this due to boredom ^_^

The music inspired the video :D
Enjoy!
Spoiler:
Pokeportal.wmv


Very nice. I like. Though I'm not convinced your Pokemon player avatar is consistent with the generation of Pokemon shown in the background map. Looks like R/S/E starter zone + G/S/C character. But yeh, nice job.

Ok, as per the request of Torvaun, I give you....

PORTO
Portal Pokemon
Type: Psychic/Electric

Porto was developed by scientists seeking to harness dimensional gate technology and create a mechanical organism to manipulate these gates for military use. Sadly, the project was axed by a bunch of Commies in the Pokemon Govt who ruled it to be morally unjustified to do that kind of stuff to science with a bunch of cuddly little pixels. The original prototype, Porto, was released to the wild, where it continues to experiment with its abilities.

Porto has a mostly serene, green appearance, is quadripedal, and two large ears - one coloured blue and the second coloured orange - that crackle with electromagnetic energy. By focusing its power, Porto can shoot bursts of energy from the 2 ears to open up temporay spatial rifts, allowing Porto, other Pokemon, humans and objects to travel instantly between the two points.

Special Ability: Portal Energy
50% on projectile hit on Porto for the damage to be redirected at the attacker, as a portal is opened up to carry the projectile attack through space to hit the initial assailant.

Attacks:
Teleport - flees combat
Terminal Velocity - Porto opens up two gates directly above one another, and jumps into one gate, showing his enemy that he is falling perpetually, causing the enemy's brains to be blown open due to the inability to understand or resolve such serious disregard for Newton's Laws of Gravitational Theory and basic Thermodynamics
Zing! - Porto initially falls into one portal from height, with the exit portal set up in the direct sight of the enemy. Porto flings itself out the other gate and flies into its enemy, causing significant damage
Cake - Porto talks about cake incessantly, offers cake to the enemy Pokemon, until the other Pokemon gets so distressed by the repeated references to this cake lie, such that it chooses to just shoot himself to end the torment.


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