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Interesting Roleplaying and LARP Stories

Posted: Tue Dec 11, 2007 10:55 pm UTC
by Aleril
I think my favorite one was not a whole story, but what my friend called his character:

"Ill call him Richardd with 2 Ds"
"Why 2 Ds?"
"For a double dose of diviniation."

You guys got any?

Re: Interesting D&D Stories

Posted: Tue Dec 11, 2007 11:07 pm UTC
by btilly
Some friends of mine were playing, and the DM had a 4-sided die balance on its corner. He pulled back the screen to let everyone see it because he couldn't believe it had happened. Then said that they got to choose what it was.

Since it was a monster's damage roll, they chose 1.

Re: Interesting D&D Stories

Posted: Tue Dec 11, 2007 11:15 pm UTC
by ZeroSum
My elven rogue died at one point and the only adequate magic we had to bring him back to life was reincarnation. So I was reincarnated. As a hawk. After about two real-life months of dealing with being a bird our characters had the choice to undergo a transformation that would turn us into were-creatures. My first exclamation after being changed into a weretiger was most definitely, "I'm normal again!"

Re: Interesting D&D Stories

Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2007 12:29 am UTC
by clockworkmonk
Lets see. There was that time as a low level party we managed to take a very young white dragon alive. And we knew about a rather high level wizard that had an interest in blue dragons. So, quite naturally, we got some blue paint. Now, blue dragons have horns. Being unable to find a horn, we broke the handle off a dagger and attached the blade to its head. Combine this with a natural 20 bluff against the wizards natural 1 sense motive, we made off with a whole lot of money, and a very powerful enemy.

Re: Interesting D&D Stories

Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2007 2:09 am UTC
by Mecks
I ran a one night goofball D&D campaign with a few friends that was mostly cheesy jokes and fighting pirates. We laughed a lot, even if the campaign wasn't very good - I tried to give the illusion of depth, but it was pretty closely welded to the rails.

It started in a tavern - I make a point of all of my non-serious campaigns off with starting in a tavern - and the players were supposed to talk to the pirate captain, weeping into his mug of rum alone at a table in the corner.

But the players wanted to know if there was anyone ELSE in the tavern to talk to. So I improvised a little bit, and told them there was also a table of six hooded figures, off at a table in a shadowy corner, their faces hidden by their crimson robes. One of the characters insists on talking to them before they have a chat with the pirate captain, so he pulls up a chair, plunks down on it, and tries to start up a conversation.

"Hey, uh, dudes. What're you up to tonight?" (We're not big on roleplaying on screw-off nights.)
"We were just talking about our problems finding a band of adventurers to solve our little... problems."
"What's the mission? Who are you guys?"

At this point, the speaker from the group pulls the hood down, revealing a slender face with long, pointed ears and sky blue eyes. He looks directly at the player character and says, with a hush:

"We're representatives of the North Everonian Elf-Boy Love Association."
"..."
"N.E.E.M.B.L.A."

The player character stood up, walked over to the pirate, and started right onto the rails.

That was the last time they let me DM an off-night game.

Re: Interesting D&D Stories

Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2007 4:17 am UTC
by FACM
Similar story:

I walked into a tavern, explicitly for this one purpose.

me: "Do I see any shadowy figures lurking around the corners?"
DM: "yeah, there's one over there"
Me: "I walk over and sit down in front of him, and say 'The goldfish weeps blood at noon"
DM: "The figure looks at you and says 'Huh?'"
Me: "I reply 'Sorry. Wrong bar.' and walk out"

Similarly, I encouage the party to kill the first person the GM points out in every game, using the excuse of 'kill the BBEG while they're still weak and unsuspecting' as a joke. In a game run by someone I didn't know, a friend of mine followed this advice, and I was right. He killed the entire story right then and there, in the tavern on day 1.

Re: Interesting D&D Stories

Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2007 2:25 pm UTC
by Umlaut
FACM wrote:Similar story:

I walked into a tavern, explicitly for this one purpose.

me: "Do I see any shadowy figures lurking around the corners?"
DM: "yeah, there's one over there"
Me: "I walk over and sit down in front of him, and say 'The goldfish weeps blood at noon"
DM: "The figure looks at you and says 'Huh?'"
Me: "I reply 'Sorry. Wrong bar.' and walk out"

Similarly, I encouage the party to kill the first person the GM points out in every game, using the excuse of 'kill the BBEG while they're still weak and unsuspecting' as a joke. In a game run by someone I didn't know, a friend of mine followed this advice, and I was right. He killed the entire story right then and there, in the tavern on day 1.

Lazy GM. If the characters don't know it's the BBEG, why let them in on the secret? It would have also been great to have the party follow all the leads they got to the great powerful wizard only to find that somebody else already killed him (and in a bar... where we started... AWESOME!).

Re: Interesting D&D Stories

Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2007 2:44 pm UTC
by Belial
Or, you know, if they just kill it randomly for no clear reason, why would it be the BBEG at all? His status and stats don't collapse from quantum superposition until the players know about them, so he could just be some random citizen. Cue law enforcement, crying family, etcetera.

Re: Interesting D&D Stories

Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2007 3:12 pm UTC
by ZeroSum
I once ran a D20 Modern/D&D mashup for a one-shot. Characters from D20 Modern thrown into a D&D adventure. It was great fun as the players ran around with assault rifles taking out zombies and ogre magi and I would definitely suggest trying it out.

Re: Interesting D&D Stories

Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2007 5:45 pm UTC
by Victorkm
I was playing in the second Cheesegrinder tournement at Dragon*con 2004 and me and all of my friends had managed to snag a table together. We had cleared 2 or 3 challenges when we are put into an empty room. We could see across to a door on the opposite wall and the floor was laid out in a grid of flag stones. Within 7 seconds of entering the room, my friend Neil says "I cast true sight" and kills the whole party when 26 symbols of death are activated at once(The room was laid out like minesweeper. Stepping on a grid would clear it and light up numbers on the surrounding grid to hint where the symbols of death were.)

Re: Interesting D&D Stories

Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2007 11:47 pm UTC
by Kizyr
The best thing that came up... Our adventure involved a lot of planar travel. We ended up in the Abyss once, and our group got separated into three groups of twos.

The person I was with was a shapeshifter (through polymorph spells). Me and her were in a room with a lake of lava in the middle that we had to cross to get to the opposite side.

Her: Well... I could polymorph into something that flies and carry us across
Me: Sounds fine to me. What can you morph into?
Her: ...the only thing I can change into that has wings is a succubus.
Me: ... ... ... ... ...sweet! I get to ride a succubus!
(on the other side when we were reunited with the others)
Me: Hey guys, guess what! I got to ride a succubus and lived to--
Her: -smite-

From then on, a running joke for my character was his fascination with succubi.

Another time, we were picking what actors might represent our characters if it were a movie. I said mine would probably be Chris Tucker. And, I added, Fharlanghn (the god of travel, the one that my character followed) would be played by Snoop Dogg.

...I then put together my own incantation for the teleportation spell:
Fharlizzle, fo shizzle, representin’ tha Celestial Puh-lizzle, ma nizzle, y'all...
You knowin’ where I’m goin’
How I'm goin' is how I'm rollin'
From da streets in down-town
To tha caves undah-ground
Sittin’ under Veil, dawg, wit uh mountain uh bling-bling,
Worth so many ----in’ Gs dey could make uh troll sing,
Hook me up, Fhar-lizzle, and I be givin’ you your cut
Dey’s enough Gs to go around to make da doors uh Hades shut


My character was also a comedian on the side, whose specialty was limericks. Consequently, I had a personalized limerick for every character and a variety of situations, including a few I composed on-the-spot for some encounters. ...I have more of them written up at home, so I'll probably post them later. KF

Re: Interesting D&D Stories

Posted: Thu Dec 13, 2007 3:44 am UTC
by Felgraf
In a campaign (that was lovingly titled "The Frelled Up Campaign", because it was in no way, shape or form, serious.. it was in ths campaign that our DM realized the foolishness of DMPC'S...), I played a wizard. An 80 year old wizard. I bargained with the DM to buy down my wisdom so that I would have an int of 20 at the start. (We were all.. fairly new). My wisdom was... six. I argued that he was going senile, but highly intelligent nonetheless.

After traveling with the party for a while, one of the characters turned to me and asked "So, where did you come from, anyways?", hoping to learn of my backstory. Without missing a beat, I started: "Well, you see boy, when a man loves a woman very, very much..."

We had to stop play for about five minutes or so. I felt quite proud of myself. =)

Re: Interesting D&D Stories

Posted: Mon Jan 14, 2008 8:10 pm UTC
by Ixtellor
My favorite character of all time was a Cavalier named Zilon Paylor. After several years, me and my group had hit the mid teens in level. (I was level 15)

Our main DM decided that our group had not done the Giant Series and the subsequent Underdark modules since they came out, this was like 10 years later.

So our group was going to go through this large number of modules. Up to this point we never did modules with this particular set of charaters, so we thought it would be fun.

It turned out to be kind of wacky, because if you are familiar with these oldy modules, they are full of crazy items and scenarios. (For example there is a magic you ring you find that is poisoned. Death NO SAVE. )

What made it equally bizarre was the fact that the DM was adamant about using a new set of critical hits and misses charts that he found in a dragon magazine.

1. I was killed by the no save ring and reincarnated as a pixie. Not good in the eyes of a proud cavalier.
2. Some alligator we were fighting at some point, critically missed and bit itself in the stomach thus killing itself. *Boggle*
3. In the end I committed suicide by jumping off a 1000+ foot cliff because a cave bear critically hit me and destroyed my +5 Shield which was my pride and joy. After a long argument about how there is no way a bear claw could destroy a +5 Shield, AND the fact that I was a pixie ( Yes it doesnt make sense size wise that he could even carry a +5 med shield) I had had enough and committed suicide in protest.
4. In the end another players year'S long char in the making died to a no save situation and that was the end of our company of heros.

Ixtellor

Re: Interesting D&D Stories

Posted: Tue Jan 15, 2008 4:07 pm UTC
by segmentation fault
i remember my first time playing. i critically failed my first attack and the DM rolled 100. i died.

Re: Interesting D&D Stories

Posted: Tue Jan 15, 2008 4:11 pm UTC
by SecondTalon
... and that's why I'm not a fan of most critical failure tables. Critically failing to swing a normal weapon* should never result in you lopping your own head off or whatever.

*By normal weapon, of course I mean something not cursed to lop your head off should you roll a specific number on a die or something. And even then you should be made aware of it when you get the weapon identified.

Re: Interesting D&D Stories

Posted: Tue Jan 15, 2008 4:25 pm UTC
by ZeroSum
Critical failures, if they should give a penalty, should result in something to the effect of hyperextending something, giving an attack penalty until magically healed or some time's rest or putting you off balance, giving a defense penalty, not cutting yourself up.

Re: Interesting D&D Stories

Posted: Tue Jan 15, 2008 4:31 pm UTC
by Belial
I could see it with certain weapons and situations. For example, if you're using "shot-on-the-run" to take shots at your opponent with a hand-crossbow while running, tripping and shooting yourself in the foot is a possibility.

And if you're flinging a spiked chain around, getting tangled in it and slicing yourself up should definitely be on the table.

But yeah, mangling yourself with a longsword is kindof dumb.

Most games I've seen have characters accidentally drop their weapon, trip and fall prone, miss and hit an ally, accidentally fling their weapon in a random direction on the backswing, or something similar to that on a critical failure on an attack roll.

Re: Interesting D&D Stories

Posted: Tue Jan 15, 2008 5:01 pm UTC
by segmentation fault
the way the DM explained it was "as you took a step to throw your dart the floorboard underneath you broke (we were inside a house or tavern or something, and it was on fire) and you fell to the first level and landed on some not-so-nice things"

Re: Interesting D&D Stories

Posted: Tue Jan 15, 2008 6:03 pm UTC
by Nyarlathotep
Belial wrote:I could see it with certain weapons and situations. For example, if you're using "shot-on-the-run" to take shots at your opponent with a hand-crossbow while running, tripping and shooting yourself in the foot is a possibility.

And if you're flinging a spiked chain around, getting tangled in it and slicing yourself up should definitely be on the table.

But yeah, mangling yourself with a longsword is kindof dumb.

Most games I've seen have characters accidentally drop their weapon, trip and fall prone, miss and hit an ally, accidentally fling their weapon in a random direction on the backswing, or something similar to that on a critical failure on an attack roll.


One of my GMs has you confirm a critial miss (natural 1), so you have to roll a 1, and then miss again, and even then, I think the worst that's ever happened is that someone's fallen prone fighting a monster that you really, really don't want to fall prone fighting. We've never even done miss and hit an ally things.

I believe we also have another rule called a "feat of slickness" since said GM is a nice guy, wherin if you roll three 1's in a row on a D20 - in any situation - you still embarass yourself horribly and look monsterously awkward doing whatever it was that you were trying to do, but simultaneously succeed at it. as an example... my bard once rolled a 1 on an attack, then ANOTHER 1, then the DM said "... roll it again. house rule."

Third 1, and he said, "... ok. Your sword flies out of your hand and you fall on your face, but said sword also impales the soldier. in the face."

*e* In other news, in an Eberron game, I'm playing an Elan with Gaius Baltar syndrome - she's got a Quori in her head which talks to her. We haven't started yet, but I'm already anticipating Good Times with me yelling at / being molested by someone nobody else can see.

Re: Interesting D&D Stories

Posted: Tue Jan 15, 2008 8:04 pm UTC
by Ixtellor
SecondTalon wrote:... and that's why I'm not a fan of most critical failure tables. Critically failing to swing a normal weapon* should never result in you lopping your own head off or whatever.

*By normal weapon, of course I mean something not cursed to lop your head off should you roll a specific number on a die or something. And even then you should be made aware of it when you get the weapon identified.


Needless to say we stopped using critical failures. and went back to a generic dropped weapon scenario.

Although it did result in some funny stuff. One party member in a large group of min/maxxers critically failed, and ended up critically hitting an ally resulting in death.

And I still stand by my argument that a Cave Bear can NOT destory a +5 shield. Maybe if the shield was over some logs and it was running and jumping on it, but not in mortal combat with a level 15 Cavalier.

Re: Interesting D&D Stories

Posted: Tue Jan 15, 2008 8:16 pm UTC
by Ixtellor
Another interesting/sad thing that happened...

In my groups early days when we were ALL about min/maxing we had been adventuring togeather over the course of a RL year, and about half the party had slowly gone evil, with all the level loss and penelties that it entails.
So one of our DM's had thought up, mapped out, and preparred for a massive Forgotten Realms campaign that would take us all over the world.

What ended up happening was, bits and pieces of information were discovered by various members of the group. So when the "good" side of the group got information they were reluctant to share, and the "evil" side would get information and keep it secret if it could be used for personal gain, without jeopardizing the overall mission.

It all came to head in a Tavern one day.
An evil monk, a cavalier, and a dual wielding warrior (the evil side)
Versus
A dual wielding ranger, Psisonist, and Wizard.

While sitting around and trying to decide what to do, the Wizard tries to read the mind of the warrior to find out if he is hiding anything.
He critically fails some roll, and the DM informs the warrior that the wizard obviously just tried to read his mind.
He jumps up - points and shouts "He is trying to read our minds!!"

Initiatives are rolled, except by the monk who was futher away and didn't overhear.

The evils won all the roll's.

In one round, the Wizard was dead and the ranger was down to around 20hps.
The Warrior was stunned or held by the psionicst.
The Cavalier (me) Suffered some minor damage by the ranger.

Next round: Ranger dies. Psi TP's away.

End result being, people storming off and driving away and the end of that campaign for good.

I mostly remember how shocked the Wizard was that he didn't get a single spell off, and how inept the Ranger felt after he was cut to ribbons.

Re: Interesting D&D Stories

Posted: Tue Jan 15, 2008 8:21 pm UTC
by Vaniver
Ixtellor wrote:And I still stand by my argument that a Cave Bear can NOT destory a +5 shield. Maybe if the shield was over some logs and it was running and jumping on it, but not in mortal combat with a level 15 Cavalier.
There are rules for destroying magic shields (in 3rd edition, at least)- it would have to be sundering, and then get past hardness 15 and 65 hp for a +5 heavy wooden shield, and hardness 20 and 70 hp for a heavy steel shield.

Re: Interesting D&D Stories

Posted: Tue Jan 15, 2008 8:37 pm UTC
by pieaholicx
Just this past weekend we had a stick hit a dragon for 36HP.

Let me say that again, we had a stick hit a dragon for 36HP.

For the long explanation, the stick was created by Master Tovin. An old mage who specializes in making things become sticks when they're not on the ground. We were in a small town having the local mage look over our stuff we he complains about some weird mage who passed through and sold him a bunch of magic sticks. The immediate outcry from one of our members was "TOVIN!!!". However, knowing Tovin he also bought a stick.

Of the two he had to choose between, one of them was a potion (old joke involving Tovin), and the other just happened to be an explosion with 20 ft radius and dealth 8d6 damage. Our DM seriously thought that he would toss in down in town or something, just to see what it does. Instead, he saved it. We opened up some doors in the dungeon and we see a dragon (mind you, we're level 4 at the time). What's his first action? "I run in and throw down the stick in front of the dragon." The look on our DM's face at the moment was just complete disbelief. He gathered up 8d6, and rolled them. He told the player to make a reflex save. He passed the save, so the dragon took 36 damage, and he only took 18.

Re: Interesting D&D Stories

Posted: Wed Jan 16, 2008 12:43 am UTC
by Nyarlathotep
pieaholicx wrote:Just this past weekend we had a stick hit a dragon for 36HP.

Let me say that again, we had a stick hit a dragon for 36HP.

For the long explanation, the stick was created by Master Tovin. An old mage who specializes in making things become sticks when they're not on the ground. We were in a small town having the local mage look over our stuff we he complains about some weird mage who passed through and sold him a bunch of magic sticks. The immediate outcry from one of our members was "TOVIN!!!". However, knowing Tovin he also bought a stick.

Of the two he had to choose between, one of them was a potion (old joke involving Tovin), and the other just happened to be an explosion with 20 ft radius and dealth 8d6 damage. Our DM seriously thought that he would toss in down in town or something, just to see what it does. Instead, he saved it. We opened up some doors in the dungeon and we see a dragon (mind you, we're level 4 at the time). What's his first action? "I run in and throw down the stick in front of the dragon." The look on our DM's face at the moment was just complete disbelief. He gathered up 8d6, and rolled them. He told the player to make a reflex save. He passed the save, so the dragon took 36 damage, and he only took 18.


sounds like someone is used to this Tovin's tricks, eh?

Re: Interesting D&D Stories

Posted: Wed Jan 16, 2008 1:11 pm UTC
by pieaholicx
Nyarlathotep wrote:sounds like someone is used to this Tovin's tricks, eh?

Apparently this character had met Tovin in another campaign, and had gotten an extreme hatred for him, which is also the origin of the stick-potion.

You see, he was lying outside a city, barely concious and dieing. Master Tovin came by, and put a stick on the ground next to him, which turned into a potion. He was grateful, and thanking Tovin. Then he picked it up, and it turned back into a stick. He repeated this a few times and cursed Tovin each time.

We're all still waiting to find a stick that transforms into a stick of the same size and shape, but is a slightly different color.

Re: Interesting D&D Stories

Posted: Thu Jan 17, 2008 8:35 am UTC
by fukiyo
Yeah, critical hit tables make for some really uneven gameplay. In a campaign a while back, the DM had found such a table online and decided to use it for the new campaign we were starting. So when the chance came to finally use it, the situation was as such:

We had stumbled into a storeroom with three large spiders and they were kicking the shit out of us (hey, we were level one and kind of weak at that), and of course, for some reason, probably our group's inability to think ahead, our strong melee guy was hanging out in the back of the group, bottlenecked by us cannon fodder up front. I was playing a druid (I think, it was a few years back) and had long since fallen unconscious after many attempts to calm things down. Now, as a companion, I had chosen a tiny viper, normally doesn't actually do any damage, except for its poison. So I'm unconscious and the rest of my party is either having their asses handed to them or stuck behind the ever growing pile of unconscious PCs in a narrow hallway and my viper takes its turn to see if it can poison something. It of course, rolls a natural twenty. On the percentage roll? 100% DM looks on the chart and that's an instant kill via pierce through the head. We had a, "Uh, well...what do we do?"moment. We went with it. My tiny viper that doesn't normally do any damage takes down this large spider, all the while my character dies slowly. It became somewhat of a joke that my tiny viper was more useful than my druid. Didn't use critical hit tables after that.

Also, once had a 40 minute debate with a campaign group about where we should hide the bodies of some thugs that had attacked us.
Guy 1: Maybe we could stuff them in those barrels over there?
Guy 2: No, they wouldn't fit, the barrels are too small.
Guy 3: We could cut them up so they'd fit?
Guy 1: Someone might come in when we're cutting them up, though...
Guy 4: How about we throw them out the window?
Guy 5: No! Under the desk there!
Guy 3: Take them with us, I could carry one.
Me: >_>
It went on like that more or less until the DM intervened and gently reminded everyone that this was DnD and they were just bodies, so it didn't really matter. In retrospect, we never got anything done ever in that campaign.

Had a DM in a not very serious campaign make use of a gender-changing belt. One guy in our group was being annoyingly cocky to the other players to the point where it was hindering actual gameplay so he found himself with the special belt around his waist after pulling a particularly cocky stunt and became, well, a lot less cocky. (Ha, get it?) Funny thing is he was a dwarf, so it's not like it made that big of a difference anyway.

Re: Interesting D&D Stories

Posted: Thu Jan 17, 2008 8:36 am UTC
by Mandiful
The title of this thread in an oxymoron.

XD!

I keed, I keed!

Re: Interesting D&D Stories

Posted: Thu Jan 17, 2008 2:05 pm UTC
by Ixtellor
Gender changing belts have hit our group in the past as well. Since our groups tended to at least have one or more evils, this usually resulted in rape or suicide.


One time our party was camping for the night and everyone was asleep except for a barbarian warrior and a thief. The barbarian was chaotic neutral and the thief was neutral evil. (not sure why i remember this).

Another group member was a halfing thief and he was sleeping comfortable in his small tent.

Maybe it was too much mountain dew, but what should have been a 3 min "you camp for the night, and nothing happens, scenario" turned into a game breaking moment.

The thief talks the barbarian into raping the halfling (male).

"It sure is lonely out here, its been months since we have been in civilization, when was the last time you had sex, The halfling kind of looks like a girl, he is real small... "

So the DM made them role play the barbarian quietly sneaking into his tent and attempting to rape the halfling. Rolls were made, and the brute str and surprise of the Barb overwhelm the little guy and he ends up sucummbing to a violent rape.

Half the group is on the floor laughing at the imagery of this scenario.
Some are pissed that this is going to ruin the 'adventure'

And the halfling is so pissed he leaves in RL.

Re: Interesting D&D Stories

Posted: Thu Jan 17, 2008 2:29 pm UTC
by SecondTalon
Ha Ha Rape iz Funnay!

Re: Interesting D&D Stories

Posted: Thu Jan 17, 2008 2:33 pm UTC
by ZeroSum
Yeah, that's definitely the stereotypical "why teenage boys shouldn't be playing D&D" scenario. Not cool.

You see, a funny D&D sex story goes like this:

So the prankster Gnome Wizard walks in on the Halfling Mayor having an affair with an Elven Lady, so she casts "Grease" and gets the fuck out of there then tells the whole party so we can make innuendo jokes to blackmail the Mayor later. (Inelvenuendo?)

Re: Interesting D&D Stories

Posted: Thu Jan 17, 2008 3:26 pm UTC
by Tractor
Critical misses can be entertaining.

In the one campaign I ever played, I was a monk, and my dice hated me. A cirtical miss turned me into a one-armed monk when my arm was ripped off by the attacker's weapon.

Before the game broke up (we never got very far), I had won myself a 'new' skeletal arm in a bizzare game of cards with some demon-ish creature.

Re: Interesting D&D Stories

Posted: Thu Jan 17, 2008 3:54 pm UTC
by Aleril
I remember in that same D&D game that I described in the OP, these things happened:

1. I was a Fighter, and had to push through the crowd to get to what ever was scaring them. And while the other characters were calming the crowd with spells or floating over them, I came upon a plethora of shitty rolls placing me even further away from the crowd. I got to the enemies, but in about twice as many rolls as my friends.

2. A girl was a DM, and when we went to the bar, my friend tried to convince her to describe the night elf bartender's penis in the most descriptive way she could. Needless to say, she didn't.

Re: Interesting D&D Stories

Posted: Thu Jan 17, 2008 4:08 pm UTC
by Ixtellor
ZeroSum wrote:Yeah, that's definitely the stereotypical "why teenage boys shouldn't be playing D&D" scenario. Not cool.

You see, a funny D&D sex story goes like this:

So the prankster Gnome Wizard walks in on the Halfling Mayor having an affair with an Elven Lady, so she casts "Grease" and gets the fuck out of there then tells the whole party so we can make innuendo jokes to blackmail the Mayor later. (Inelvenuendo?)


1) You sound like you would like the old castle greyhawk module. It was overly silly IMHO.
Decanter of endless Lemondade and fighting a giant gingerbread golem.

2) I actually prefer a darker D&D world. In RL, I am absolutly against torture in all forms, including water boarding. But in D&D murder, torture, rape, and vengence are all intriguing tools and situations too deal with. Sometimes your the paladin, sometimes your the bad guy. But the world is hars. Liches don't make ponies that puke a lot, they makes slaves and destruction.

3) All of my most memorable and enjoyable D&D moments came from inter party intrigues. I think this is why my group tended to have mixed alignments. While you might write off the halfling rape as juvenile, and to an extent it was, it is all so about establishing party dominance and control. It also forces the 'good' characters too make instant and ever lasting decisions. Maybe the good characters instantly slay the barb or maybe they plot revenge or maybe they turn him into local authorities.

Maybe the halfing doesn't tell anyone, keeps it to himself and gets his vengence later.
Role playing the fall out of a 'juvenile' situation like that can result in interesting sessions IMHO.

I won't remember all the dungeons we plundered, the plots we interuppted, the towns we saved, the monsters we slayed...

But I will remember the time, one of my favorite characters of all time, an 11th level LG fighter, who was attempting to create a small fiefdom near hellgate keep in the forgotten realms... was clearing an area near my new keep, with the help of a cleric who I had adventured with since day one. We encountered a group of ghouls, and I rushed into the fray expecting an easy victory with my high saving throws and the clerics ability to turn undead. Shock of all shocks, one of the ghouls hits me right off the bat and I failed my save versus paralization. Expecting the cleric to instantly rectify the situation, I see the cleric retreating, never to return, as the ghouls tear me limb from limb and feast on my body.

Me and the DM are in total disbelief. WTF! WTF!

The cleric explains that because my character has never embraced his faith or done anything to help spread it, or agree to build a church in my new lands, he felt I had wronged/blasphemed his religion/deity long enough. Thus leaving me to die.

Juvenile? Yes. Good roll playing IMHO? Yes.


Ixtellor

Re: Interesting D&D Stories

Posted: Thu Jan 17, 2008 4:29 pm UTC
by ZeroSum
I'm not saying that all games have to be full of jokes and hilarity or that rape can't be a good roleplaying tool, but having one player character rape another is a horrible thing when one of the players doesn't want it to happen. When it's just juvenile power-tripping drivel it's a terrible thing. There are a few things that you should not, as a player or a DM, do to another player's character if that player indicates it's a bad thing. Sexual assault is one of them.

Part of the implied contract of the game is that you're all there to have fun. When it's not fun it's game over. Mind you, deaths aren't off the table because death and dying is part of what makes it fun. Rape, however, is not something that makes games fun unless everyone playing is enjoying it.

Re: Interesting D&D Stories

Posted: Thu Jan 17, 2008 5:00 pm UTC
by Ixtellor
ZeroSum wrote:I'm not saying that all games have to be full of jokes and hilarity or that rape can't be a good roleplaying tool, but having one player character rape another is a horrible thing when one of the players doesn't want it to happen. When it's just juvenile power-tripping drivel it's a terrible thing. There are a few things that you should not, as a player or a DM, do to another player's character if that player indicates it's a bad thing. Sexual assault is one of them.

Part of the implied contract of the game is that you're all there to have fun. When it's not fun it's game over. Mind you, deaths aren't off the table because death and dying is part of what makes it fun. Rape, however, is not something that makes games fun unless everyone playing is enjoying it.


My ole group was togeather for about 13 years.
We had people storm off from time to time, in anger. While we were all there to have fun, we would not sacrifice 'role playing' to prevent 'unfun' moments. Having RL people suddenly turn on you and kill a character you treasured is never fun. But if you find yourself in the minority alignment and your actions call for consequences, then you would get your just ends.

But in retrospect, to the man, when we look back, it was all those major gaming moments that we have the fondest memories of.

One thing that made that core group different than other D&D groups I was in, was that we would only play one character at a time. We played only those characters until they died.
So when a character did die, it was always a traumatic experience.

One of my friends of over 20 years, who I have seen divorce and get in fist fights, etc, most insane anger maddest moment is when his all time favorite character died and we refused to resurect him.
He tore up his character sheet (20 some pages long), set it on fire, told us all to F ourselves and stormed out. This was his all time favorite D&D experience. He thought the end was fitting for that character.

Ixtellor

Re: Interesting D&D Stories

Posted: Sat Jan 19, 2008 1:52 pm UTC
by theamberkey
Ixtellor: Drama-riffic.

I once had a Paladin that was house-ruled to be able to used his Charisma instead of his wisdom score, with the modifier that the only weapon he could use was a trident, or variations thereof. So I gave him Trident-chucks. Two tridents attached by a chain. It was the coolest fucking thing ever, if only because it annoyed my group to no end.

Re: Interesting D&D Stories

Posted: Sat Jan 19, 2008 5:59 pm UTC
by Mighty Jalapeno
Wizard hides behind ultra-powered Paladin, with magical shield.
Black dragon breathes acid at paladin.
Paladin easily makes saving throw.
Paladin dodges.
Wizard reduced to ash with 58 pts of overkill, and DM will not change his decision.

...

MJ watching his friends play D&D for seven more hours, then going home.

Re: Interesting D&D Stories

Posted: Mon Jan 21, 2008 4:19 am UTC
by pieaholicx
Okay, I've got a long one here. Lots happened today, so I'll probably put the actual stories in spoilers.

The Revival:
Spoiler:
In our first dungeon we met a Hobgoblin that helped us a bit. At the end of our last session our mage had slammed this vial of super potion into the hobgoblin's finger (we meant to revive him anyway). All of a sudden the hobgoblin grows back out of it. Unfortunately, he's naked, and all we have to spare is an old cape, a shortsword, and a buckler.


The Robbery (or How We Came to Respect My Craft(CAEK) Skill):
Spoiler:
As we were traveling we came across a caravan of merchants. I turn to the others and proclaim that we just kill them all, they are just merchants. Then the mage suggests that we don't be so careless about it, and rob them honestly. Then an idea hits us all. Bake a sleeping potion into the cakes. We baked two nice cakes (all I had mats for), and put the sleep potion in them. Within hours everybody was asleep save for the leader of merchants, leader of their guard, and a merchant. We knocked on their door, and when they opened there was a rapier, a longsword, a shortsword (held by a mostly naked hobgoblin), and a mage staring them down. The mage tied them up, and left some special writing on the rope. Apparently he prepared explosive runes that morning. That stuff eventually sold for a few thousand gold each, split 4 ways. We also equipped our hobgoblin to the teeth. Imagine a hobgoblin with full breastplate, nobles clothing, magic sword, magic shield, and magic bow.


Journey to the Capital:
Spoiler:
So we travel on, find another cleric and some chick he's with. We get about two days in when we come across a group of people going back to the city we just came from, which had mysteriously burned to the ground well before we got there. We ask for any news of where they'd come from, and they said that they had heard of a band of hobgoblin bandits, lead by a powerful hobgoblin. They also said that a group of heroes killed a dragon in the capital (where we were headed). We go on another day, when suddenly we get attacked by said group of hobgoblins. Somewhere in the fight some kind of demon joins it, and I end up getting possessed (though nobody can tell). That's pretty much it until we get to the capital...


The Capital:
Spoiler:
We go to the capital and set up shop. I also go looking for a "special" deck of cards. I find them fairly well enough (from a very shady dealer), but then I ask what else the guy has, and he's got a nice set of Gloves of Dex + 2. I ask the price, and it's like 2k more than I have, so I ask if I can do him any favors for them. He wants me to kill this noble who's been giving him trouble. I find that he visits the shops he owns every day, and realize they're all made of wood, and I have a Ring of the Ram. I grab a blue mask, a flask of alchemist fire, and hide out by the building. The Noble and a man named Sepheed walk in. I expend 6 charges of the ring all together and collapse half the building. I toss the alchemist fire in, and the building catches fire. People start to noticed at this point, so I drop a smoke stick. Then I hear from the roof "Halt you villain! I am the Red Avenger!"


The Birth of the Blue Bandit:
Spoiler:
I reply, "I am The Blue Bandit! You'll never catch me Red Avenger!", then bolt down the nearby alley. He chases me for a good while before I run in front of two carts. Luckily for me one of the horses goes crazy after I run by, and the Red Avenger, seeing this decides I went right. I take off the mask and slowly make my way back to the shady dealer. In the end I get the gloves. Not too long afterwards wanted posters go up for the Blue Bandit, with an 8000g bounty. I have achieved one of my two lifelong goals, I have become infamous. The other is to become a world renowned cake baker. We imagine that one day I'll have my own bakery, and have just made this super awesome cake when the Red Avenger comes in, and says "So...we meet again Blue Bandit..." I also get our mage to make my armor Glamored, so it will turn into an exact copy of the Red Avenger's outfit, but in blue. However, he has a full mask, while I have a bandit style mask.

Re: Interesting D&D Stories

Posted: Mon Jan 21, 2008 1:04 pm UTC
by Nya
Unfortunately, evne tho I've read the basic D&D books and have played many D20 based RPGs, I could never find a good group to play with.

I started playing with my cousins but soon enough we run to troubles like:

Code: Select all

DM: Okay, John, you are left with 2 HP and it's your turn, what do you do?
John: Ehm... Neil, do you have a potion you could give me?
Neil: Fuck you, man, I ain't giving you no potions. Last time you wasted both I gave you.
John: Hey, fuck you, we are a team. Give me a potion!
Neil: Fuck you! No potions for you.
John: DM, I'm attacking Neil.
DM: Ehmm... maybe not?
John: Fuck you too, I'm attacking Neil!
Neil: You motherfucker, I'm attacking John, too

or

Code: Select all

DM: Okay, Neil, it's your turn, you are surrounded by goblins and the rest are dead. What do you do?
Neil: Ehm,..ehmm..ehmmm
DM: Neil?
Neil: Found it! I summon my God!
DM: What?
Neil: I summon my God. I need his help.

freaking Age of Mythology...

Last time, I tried with some friends, the whole game went well. We had a good DM and the players knew how to play and were experienced, but for some reason, even tho the campaign was interesting, no one asked for a second session.

Re: Interesting D&D Stories

Posted: Mon Jan 21, 2008 3:47 pm UTC
by Rodan
This thread really makes me wish I had a way to play D&D...