Taking it seriously: The zombie problem

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Re: Taking it seriously: The zombie problem

Postby Verismael » Thu Jan 07, 2010 1:10 pm UTC

I have an idea.


Gather a secret army of narwhals and dolphins, and as many human survivors as possible, summon Cthulhu and hide while he rampages across the earth destroying all the zombies.

Then use the secret army to destroy Cthulhu and repopulate the earth.

Simple, yes?

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Re: Taking it seriously: The zombie problem

Postby gmalivuk » Thu Jan 07, 2010 2:07 pm UTC

Dr. Willpower wrote:It's possible that whatever converts them only destroys their minds. Even though zombie movies haven't gone there

28 $timeperiods Later basically did, actually.
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Re: Taking it seriously: The zombie problem

Postby SecondTalon » Thu Jan 07, 2010 3:09 pm UTC

Dr. Willpower wrote:My point is that even though you don't see it much, you could have completely healthy zombies. You could have any type of zombie you like actually. Instead of casting doubt on the health concerns, you should be casting doubt on the definition of zombie.
Which is why I think we need to classify the archtypes being discussed so at least people can say "Assuming Classic Romero, blah blah blah we're fucked"

Also, what gmal said. 28 Fortnights Later.
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Re: Taking it seriously: The zombie problem

Postby gmalivuk » Thu Jan 07, 2010 4:58 pm UTC

Fleeting thought: if we actually enacted this in an official way, it would be possible to spin off a real-time daily serialization called 28 Hours Later.
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Re: Taking it seriously: The zombie problem

Postby Dr. Willpower » Thu Jan 07, 2010 6:16 pm UTC

gmalivuk wrote:
Dr. Willpower wrote:It's possible that whatever converts them only destroys their minds. Even though zombie movies haven't gone there

28 $timeperiods Later basically did, actually.


I stand corrected.
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Re: Taking it seriously: The zombie problem

Postby hideki101 » Thu Jan 07, 2010 8:39 pm UTC

You know, everyone here talks about what you're going to use to kill zombies, how to get rid of them, and basically boasts on zombie genocide. What of those of us who don't have access to guns or unlimited ammo? For example, the campus I go to doesn't allow firearms to be carried, so my path would rather be avoidance, rather than confrontation.

Also, has anyone put very much thought into logistics? I assume during a zombie apocalypse, utilities would be cut off. Therefore one would need to plan for things like water, food, sanitation, and shelter. The one I see people ignore the most for some reason is water. During such a time as a zombie insurrection, potable water would become scarce, and if it's a viral or bacteria-based zombification process and it's fluid-borne, even more so. So you'll need to find a way to get access to a way to find enough water to survive. Sealed water bottles are good for short term, but unless you plan on fortifying a location, I would advise against carrying a lot of them, as they would slow you down. Maybe something you can use to catch rain or something, and a UV light or boiling to kill any organisms living in the water.

Question: Assuming cannibalism is okay in this scenario, properly prepared, would zombie meat be edible?
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Re: Taking it seriously: The zombie problem

Postby mvv » Thu Jan 07, 2010 9:27 pm UTC

We should redefine the problem
To erradicate the zombies is akin to Dead Tissue Removal.
The answer : common green bottle fly (Lucilia sericata)
Just make lots and lots of culivated maggots (easy and fast) , dump them over the greater mass of zombies , and let nature flow. In due curse , the problem will be eaten away.

Of course , there is the question if the remains would be able to reinfect humans as the soil would be literally super-infused with the zombie virus , and any harvest you do on contaminated soil would turn you on a zombie or not. Carefull testing would be needed.

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Re: Taking it seriously: The zombie problem

Postby Phrozt » Mon Jan 11, 2010 10:29 pm UTC

@MRSA arguments:
That's the beauty of it. MRSA can infect and severely debilitate healthy people! While you may argue that some zombie versions are "healthy" zombies, simply with destroyed minds, most all zombies have at least some type of wound, either from being hit/initial infection, or from doing things that most normal people wouldn't be able to tolerate because of the pain/tearing involved.

The one thing that no category of zombies does is take care of itself. That's pretty much part of the definition; that all instincts are forgotten other than that of feeding/raging on people/brains/whatever. So... because MRSA requires so much upkeep to beat, the tiniest infection, left unchecked (which it would be) could easily rage out of control and pretty much destroy any type of zombie. Of course it would destroy the ripped up/decaying ones quicker... but it would definitely be able to take out *any* type of zombie.

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Re: Taking it seriously: The zombie problem

Postby KrazyerKate » Mon Jan 11, 2010 10:58 pm UTC

I watched the 1993 Body Snatchers the other day, which is another type of zombie we need to take into account. The biggest difference is that the body-snatchers can blend in with normal humans, and vice versa.

Also, steroids might be handy in an apocalypse, as the long-term effects aren't as important as your day-to-day survival. Just a thought.

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Re: Taking it seriously: The zombie problem

Postby Random832 » Mon Jan 11, 2010 11:21 pm UTC

I'm pretty sure that body snatchers / alien clones / pod people are outside the realm of the zombie genre.

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Re: Taking it seriously: The zombie problem

Postby Ivora » Tue Jan 12, 2010 2:27 am UTC

I really hope MY hometown gets hit with the infestation first.

I'll be damned if those snippy new yorkers have something else to bitch about. :roll:

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Re: Taking it seriously: The zombie problem

Postby Josephine » Tue Jan 12, 2010 3:12 am UTC

This was probably covered in the radiation/nukes stuff (and tell me if it has), but what about one large nuclear weapon at the origin point, and a bunch of cobalt-60 spread over the region? that would probably stop everything dead (so to speak).
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Re: Taking it seriously: The zombie problem

Postby Dr. Willpower » Tue Jan 12, 2010 5:36 pm UTC

Phrozt wrote:... but it would definitely be able to take out *any* type of zombie.


What about healthy zombies who regenerate? Maybe they're genetically modified to heal super fast (this also explains why they eat so much, to satisfy their crazy metabolisms, the hunger made them crazy or something).
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Re: Taking it seriously: The zombie problem

Postby Random832 » Tue Jan 12, 2010 6:42 pm UTC

Dr. Willpower wrote:(this also explains why they eat so much, to satisfy their crazy metabolisms, the hunger made them crazy or something).


Can they also shoot lightning bolts from their hands?

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Re: Taking it seriously: The zombie problem

Postby Phrozt » Tue Jan 12, 2010 10:18 pm UTC

Dr. Willpower wrote:
Phrozt wrote:... but it would definitely be able to take out *any* type of zombie.


What about healthy zombies who regenerate? Maybe they're genetically modified to heal super fast (this also explains why they eat so much, to satisfy their crazy metabolisms, the hunger made them crazy or something).



I'm not aware of any zombies that *regenerate* per se. In RE, the T-virus had several properties, one of which was regeneration, but it needed to be kept in check by an antivirus. So by the time we're talking about things that are actually zombified, there's no "self preservation" left that would accompany them, much less the argument of whether the antivirus would be plentiful and accessible enough for them to survive.

If you're talking about strains that heal/enhance creatures w/intelligence, then we're talking more mutants, not zombies.

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Re: Taking it seriously: The zombie problem

Postby Dr. Willpower » Tue Jan 12, 2010 10:45 pm UTC

Nevermind. I didn't have a particular point bringing up the healing zombie idea.
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Re: Taking it seriously: The zombie problem

Postby Ivora » Thu Jan 14, 2010 2:28 am UTC

How hard is it to hide from a zombie?

Say your being chased... and you turn a corner! :shock:

Will they keep going in one direction, assuming you went that way, or do they know where you are? :|

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Re: Taking it seriously: The zombie problem

Postby Canineteeth » Thu Jan 14, 2010 3:13 am UTC

This thread inspired me to 1) Buy World War Z and the Zombie Survival Guide (Max Brooks) 2) Make an account on this forum, so I'll make my first post here.

Ivora, if they are realistic I would assume a couple corners would be enough to lose one. Not sure about other types, but Solanum zombies have an increased sense of smell and sound so they would be following you for quite a while. You'd have to be downwind and remember, their groans attract zombies in all directions. Though to your original question, I'd assume their memory would remember you turning a corner.

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Re: Taking it seriously: The zombie problem

Postby LeroyBrandybuck » Thu Jan 14, 2010 3:20 am UTC

Oh, they know where you are. At least in my research of zombies, they have a kind of "sixth sense" for detecting humans. It doesn't rely on smell, sight, hearing (or taste for that matter). They may not be smart, but they will find you. Eventually. This other sense may have a range, but it's still a dangerous trait for them to have. Imagine being able to innately discern the nearest location of a viable food source. Dangerous, no?

I think we should compose a Pokedex of zombies. In it, we list all the possible zombie types. That way when the outbreak occurs, people can be more informed about their local infestation. Props if you make it electronic. And red.
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Re: Taking it seriously: The zombie problem

Postby Canineteeth » Thu Jan 14, 2010 3:42 am UTC

LeroyBrandybuck wrote:I think we should compose a Pokedex of zombies. In it, we list all the possible zombie types. That way when the outbreak occurs, people can be more informed about their local infestation. Props if you make it electronic. And red.

Make it extra useful. Give it a list of eatable plants, built in radio, and other survival things. Also, the sixth sense has not been confirmed by any studies I know of but it is an acceptable theory.

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Re: Taking it seriously: The zombie problem

Postby LeroyBrandybuck » Thu Jan 14, 2010 5:21 am UTC

Canineteeth wrote:Make it extra useful. Give it a list of eatable plants, built in radio, and other survival things. Also, the sixth sense has not been confirmed by any studies I know of but it is an acceptable theory.


We could call it Codex Zed. Very official, ya know? I think one of my non-academic (as in not directly related to coursework) activities this semester will be to start compiling Codex Zed.

And while the zombie sixth sense hasn't been confirmed scientifically, it is mentioned in The Zombie Survival Guide by Max Brooks (page 9):
Historical research, coupled with laboratory and field observation, have shown that the walking dead have been known to attack even when all their sensory organs have been damaged or completely decomposed. Does this mean that zombies possess a sixth sense?... This theory is one of the most hotly debated in the war against the undead. so far, no scientific evidence has been found to support either side.


However, I wouldn't be surprised if turning a corner throws zombies off your tail. In fact, it'd make a lot of thing much simpler and less stressful.
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Re: Taking it seriously: The zombie problem

Postby skellious » Wed Jan 20, 2010 4:47 pm UTC

As someone living in the UK (and this has doubtless been discussed before) if the infection did not start in the Uk and was recognised in time to stop all flights, boats and close the channel tunnel, and presuming zombies would not use logic to cross 12 miles of ocean, then the UK would probably be a fairly suitable hold-out for survivors. I mean, it even has ireland which could be used as a fall-back island if great britain falls. The largest issue would be the number of survivors. the UK cannot feed its current population and with more survivors attempting to reach the UK, there would probably be mass executions to preserve food resources. The UK would probably quite quickly return to a medieval population level (due to mechanised and biological farming improvements being unavailable for some time). Quality of life should not be too bad, although most poeple would be employed in either the civillian land army or the armed forces. A small proportion would be millitary or civillian scientists, working on ways to improve defeses, the quality of life, and eventual solutions to the zombie problem. We would still have batteries and radios for a time so it would be easy to work out if anyone else in the world survived suffciently to opperate AM radio. an eventual stratagy might be to reengineer the surviving world nuclear arsenal (the nuclear subs which would be ordered to the UK as the last human stronghold[presuming the infection started or spread to the americas and Australia has somehow been wiped out, otherwise australia and the UK might be the only ones left.]) to fire without needing UN security codes. Enougth of these targeted on the americas may well wipe out all life (and undead) there. This would create a land that could be resettled by the new families of survivors in a few hundered years and eventually lead, after perhaps another 200 years, to establishing the human race back to where it was before the attack, delaying our development by 400 years and vastly reducing the gene pool but beating the invasion. Note to all inhabitants of the Americas, this is not saying I want to bomb YOU, only zombie-yous. ;)
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Re: Taking it seriously: The zombie problem

Postby Random832 » Wed Jan 20, 2010 6:26 pm UTC

skellious wrote:The largest issue would be the number of survivors. the UK cannot feed its current population and with more survivors attempting to reach the UK, there would probably be mass executions to preserve food resources. ... Enough of these targeted on the americas may well wipe out all life (and undead) there. ... Note to all inhabitants of the Americas, this is not saying I want to bomb YOU, only zombie-yous. ;)


Yeah, well, if you're mass-executing your own survivors, any outside survivors may put 2 and 2 together and put some of their efforts towards a first strike.

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Re: Taking it seriously: The zombie problem

Postby LE4dGOLEM » Wed Jan 20, 2010 11:00 pm UTC

I'm not entirely sure where your assumption that technology will disappear suddenly comes from, skellious.
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Re: Taking it seriously: The zombie problem

Postby SecondTalon » Thu Jan 21, 2010 2:55 am UTC

Man, don't you know that we're only a bad day away from completely forgetting how to read?
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Re: Taking it seriously: The zombie problem

Postby Upsilon » Thu Jan 21, 2010 4:22 am UTC

skellious wrote:Enougth of these targeted on the americas may well wipe out all life (and undead) there.

I'm no scientist, but I think if you nuked the entirety of the Americas, there would be some pretty nasty fallout to deal with on the other side of the world.
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Re: Taking it seriously: The zombie problem

Postby Canineteeth » Thu Jan 21, 2010 8:56 pm UTC

Upsilon wrote:
skellious wrote:Enougth of these targeted on the americas may well wipe out all life (and undead) there.

I'm no scientist, but I think if you nuked the entirety of the Americas, there would be some pretty nasty fallout to deal with on the other side of the world.


And I'm pretty sure we established only the initial impact of a nuke would kill the zombie, since radiation does little to harm them. Carpet nuking an entire continent would only give you years of a nuclear winter . . .

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Re: Taking it seriously: The zombie problem

Postby Izawwlgood » Thu Jan 21, 2010 10:08 pm UTC

Wait, zombies are immune to radiation? They certainly won't develop cancer, but radiation (and here I display my ignorance of radiation safety) causes thermal and other damage as well as just knocking apart DNA. If it'd make a human blister and boil, surely it would do the same to a zombie.
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Re: Taking it seriously: The zombie problem

Postby Phrozt » Thu Jan 21, 2010 10:09 pm UTC

skellious wrote:As someone living in the UK (and this has doubtless been discussed before) if the infection did not start in the Uk and was recognised in time to stop all flights, boats and close the channel tunnel, and presuming zombies would not use logic to cross 12 miles of ocean, then the UK would probably be a fairly suitable hold-out for survivors. I mean, it even has ireland which could be used as a fall-back island if great britain falls. The largest issue would be the number of survivors. the UK cannot feed its current population and with more survivors attempting to reach the UK, there would probably be mass executions to preserve food resources. The UK would probably quite quickly return to a medieval population level (due to mechanised and biological farming improvements being unavailable for some time). Quality of life should not be too bad, although most poeple would be employed in either the civillian land army or the armed forces. A small proportion would be millitary or civillian scientists, working on ways to improve defeses, the quality of life, and eventual solutions to the zombie problem. We would still have batteries and radios for a time so it would be easy to work out if anyone else in the world survived suffciently to opperate AM radio. an eventual stratagy might be to reengineer the surviving world nuclear arsenal (the nuclear subs which would be ordered to the UK as the last human stronghold[presuming the infection started or spread to the americas and Australia has somehow been wiped out, otherwise australia and the UK might be the only ones left.]) to fire without needing UN security codes. Enougth of these targeted on the americas may well wipe out all life (and undead) there. This would create a land that could be resettled by the new families of survivors in a few hundered years and eventually lead, after perhaps another 200 years, to establishing the human race back to where it was before the attack, delaying our development by 400 years and vastly reducing the gene pool but beating the invasion. Note to all inhabitants of the Americas, this is not saying I want to bomb YOU, only zombie-yous. ;)



As someone who doesn't use paragraphs, you seriously should consider doing so...

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Re: Taking it seriously: The zombie problem

Postby Random832 » Thu Jan 21, 2010 11:49 pm UTC

Flaws in the nationalistic "UK as last holdout" idea aside, a more careful examination of assumptions reveals that a zombie apocalypse is likely to be either entirely global or confined to at worst one continent, depending on the initial parameters. If it spreads out from e.g. somewhere in midwestern North America, other continents are going to close their ports, someone (whether that is NATO or the Colombian military) is going to bomb some stretch of Panama into nothingness, and the rest of the world will be relatively safe in the short-to-medium term.

Which means that (unless the scenario is such that it is truly worldwide), survivors in the affected regions can probably count on some outside aid eventually being organized.

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Re: Taking it seriously: The zombie problem

Postby bigglesworth » Thu Jan 21, 2010 11:57 pm UTC

Well, this is unless the zombie source is the result of a weapon, and weapons are released in China, the US, India and Russia, for example.
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Re: Taking it seriously: The zombie problem

Postby BlackSails » Fri Jan 22, 2010 12:01 am UTC

Who says zombies cant swim/march on the bottom on the ocean?

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Re: Taking it seriously: The zombie problem

Postby bigglesworth » Fri Jan 22, 2010 12:04 am UTC

Sharks, tuna, various smaller fish... mmm yummy zombies.
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Re: Taking it seriously: The zombie problem

Postby SecondTalon » Fri Jan 22, 2010 12:30 am UTC

Most zombie lore has animals fleeing from them.

Then there's Zombi 2, in which a Zombie fights and kills a shark.
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Re: Taking it seriously: The zombie problem

Postby bigglesworth » Fri Jan 22, 2010 12:50 am UTC

As far as I know, prolonged exposure to water, especially seawater with strong currents, is efficient at stripping human tissue. Healthy skin resists, then sloughs off. Decomposing Zombie skin would come right off, allowing the seawater to work on the muscles and organs.

I'm not really convinced of zombies' ability to cross oceans.
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Re: Taking it seriously: The zombie problem

Postby Josephine » Fri Jan 22, 2010 1:02 am UTC

Well, considering the nature of the virus, at least according to WWZ (does the Survival guide use the same system?), which only activates after the victim dies in a few days, it is very possible for one of the early victims to cross an ocean before it sets in.

On a side note, if the zombies ever come, we're really fucking prepared.
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Re: Taking it seriously: The zombie problem

Postby LE4dGOLEM » Fri Jan 22, 2010 2:08 am UTC

nbonaparte wrote:Well, considering the nature of the virus, at least according to WWZ (does the Survival guide use the same system?), which only activates after the victim dies in a few days, it is very possible for one of the early victims to cross an ocean before it sets in.

On a side note, if the zombies ever come, we're really fucking prepared.

WWZ states that the survival was extremely useful, so yeah, it's one universe/canon/mythos/whatever.
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Re: Taking it seriously: The zombie problem

Postby Izawwlgood » Fri Jan 22, 2010 6:20 am UTC

nbonaparte wrote:On a side note, if the zombies ever come, we're really fucking prepared.

Considering how many of these stories start with a well prepared government/corporate base... I mean, 28 weeks later...?

Re Zombies and water; WWZ mentioned that one of the mental scars of the war was that no one knew how to swim anymore, for fear of what any body of water may be hiding.
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Re: Taking it seriously: The zombie problem

Postby Josephine » Sat Jan 23, 2010 4:19 am UTC

that was odd. Don't you have clear swimming pools?
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Re: Taking it seriously: The zombie problem

Postby Izawwlgood » Sat Jan 23, 2010 5:31 am UTC

Course they do, and they're filled with zeds.
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