Paranoia (IC)

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Maseiken
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Paranoia (IC)

Postby Maseiken » Sat Mar 07, 2009 3:56 am UTC

WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP!
Klaxons are sounding directly next to your ear, already all the other Infrareds in the Dormitory are jeering at you and throwing various unpleasantly solid objects at you. Metallic hands pull you out of bed and holler the following words,
"CONGRATULATIONS -Insert name here-, YOU HAVE BEEN CHOSEN FOR THAT MOST GLORIOUS OF DUTIES: TROUBLESHOOTING!"

The dormitory goes silent and you can feel the eyes of every other clone homing in on you (Also realising at this moment that you are in the harsh glare of a powerful spotlight) You are pushed out of the room roughly by the immensely powerful robot that grabbed you and the door slams resoundingly shut behind you, you hear four similar slams as four other clones are shoved into the same room in a similar manner. You are standing in the cold, metallic corridors of the Infrared dormitories in your thin, black pyjamas as Friend computer's voice comes pleasantly to your ears,
Greetings, Troubleshooter team Whiskey-Tango-Foxtrot! You have been meticulously matched via my mighty databanks, and are undoubtedly the perfect team for your following assignment, should you be....


...Succesful, you will be hailed, and well on your way up the Security clearance ladder!

Report immediately to briefing room 12 for your mission briefing, in the briefing designated for this purpose...
...which is briefing room 12... which you are to report to immediately... for your mission briefing... in briefing room 12. Immediately. Failure to comply will result in DEMERIT POINTS.

END COMMUNICATION
Well... see you later then.

A few seconds later, as you realise with a sinking feeling that you haven't the slightest idea where Briefing room 12 is, a second communication crackles through the speakers,
ADDITIONALLY, failure to arrive at the brieifing room (Which is briefing room twelve) SPOTLESSLY CLEAN and wearing THE CORRECT GARMENT for a clone of Red Security clearance (which you now are), will result in ADDITIONAL DEMERIT POINTS.
END COMMUNICATION!



You are standing in a chilly corridor, with only your Infrared clearance pyjamas and your personal effects. Obvious exits are NORTH, SOUTH, EAST, and WEST. You vaguely remember that when you were activated you got your Infrared clearance clothes from the storeroom, to the west. You have also just met 4 people in a similar predicament.
"GRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOWR!!!!"
(Translation: "Objection!")

Maseiken had the ball at the top of the key...

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Re: Paranoia (IC)

Postby DonChubby » Sat Mar 07, 2009 4:16 am UTC

Wenton-R-HSG-1 smiles broadly at the other people in the room, "Well isn't this exciting? I've always wanted to be a troubleshooter!
I'm thinking that the best course of action is probably to appease our good friend the Computer here, don't you agree? Do any of you know which clothes we're supposed to be wearing?"
Wenton looks around with a hopeful inquisitiveness.
Treason doth never prosper, what's the reason?
For if it prosper, none dare call it treason.
CreemyNougat wrote:It was the saddest orgasm ever.

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Re: Paranoia (IC)

Postby SecondTalon » Sat Mar 07, 2009 4:21 am UTC

"No clue. Excuse me"

Estee-R-Rod-1 heads to the west room, barely looking anyone else in the eye.
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Re: Paranoia (IC)

Postby grythyttan » Sat Mar 07, 2009 10:58 am UTC

"It seems that we have to work together for some reason. It would probably be useful to know eachothers names."

"me? oh. There are some who call me Tim. You can join those."

Tim-R-THY-1 smiles somewhat unconvincingly and trods off towards the west room.
Joy of Cooking was far less of an achievement than Thyme Cube discovery, for I have Cubed the Spice, with 4 simultaneous flavor types in 1 plant of Earth.
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Re: Paranoia (IC)

Postby el_loco_avs » Sat Mar 07, 2009 2:01 pm UTC

*LOCO-R-NLD-1 smiles broadly*

"Team Whiskey? I love being in a team! If I had a mother she would be so proud!! I'm LOCO"

Loco sees the others going west...
"Hey! Wait up guys! Are the clothes in there?"

LOCO-R-NLD-1 skips west after Tim and Estee bubbling with excitement.
You go your way.
I'll go your way too.

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Re: Paranoia (IC)

Postby DonChubby » Sat Mar 07, 2009 2:13 pm UTC

Wenton looks at the last person in the room, "Shan't we just follow the others?" Without actually waiting for an answer, he follows the others briskly.
Once in the other room he announces "I'm Wenton-R-HSG-1 by the way, but just call me Wenton. Have you found anything?"
Treason doth never prosper, what's the reason?

For if it prosper, none dare call it treason.

CreemyNougat wrote:It was the saddest orgasm ever.

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Levi
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Re: Paranoia (IC)

Postby Levi » Sat Mar 07, 2009 3:09 pm UTC

Being alone here is probably not a good idea, Wolfe-R-RED-1 thinks to himself.

"Hold up!" Wolfe jogs to catch up, but looks at the room through the doorway before entering.

"My name is Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorffvoralternwarengewissenhaftschaferswesenchafewarenwholgepflegeundsorgfaltigkeitbeschu
tzenvonangereifenduchihrraubgiriigfeindewelchevorralternzwolftausendjahresvorandieerscheinenbanderersteerdeemmeshedrra
umschiffgebrauchlichtalsseinursprungvonkraftgestartseinlangefahrthinzwischensternartigraumaufdersuchenachdiesternwelsheg
ehabtbewohnbarplanetenkreisedrehensichundwohinderneurassevanverstandigmenshlichkeittkonntevortpflanzenundsicherfreuna
nlebenslamdlichfreudeundruhemitnichteinfurchtvorangreifenvonandererintlligentgeschopfsvonhinzwischensternartigraum, but you can call me Wolfe. Estee, did you pick that room at random or do you know something we don't?"

Wolfe-R-RED-1 continually scans the room, checking for traps or anything that looks out of place.

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Re: Paranoia (IC)

Postby grythyttan » Sat Mar 07, 2009 3:46 pm UTC

Tim (I will henceforth refer to him as Tim unless etiquette demands that I use the full name) turned to team Whiskey-Tango-Foxtrot and pointed out the obvious: "there seems to be a huge chasm blocking the way to the storeroom here." He gestured towards the very obvious nonexistance of floor directly in front of them. On the other side, the storeroom and a friendly looking clone could be seen. The clone waved at them.

"Jumping would be inadvisable I think, unless one intends to explore the (undoubtfully astonishingly exciting) bottom of it."

He waved back at the friendly looking clone behind the counter on the other side and hollered: "Hey! do you know of any way to cross this? Or could you throw some Red Clearance Level ClothesTM over here!?"
Joy of Cooking was far less of an achievement than Thyme Cube discovery, for I have Cubed the Spice, with 4 simultaneous flavor types in 1 plant of Earth.
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Re: Paranoia (IC)

Postby SecondTalon » Sat Mar 07, 2009 4:34 pm UTC

Estee squints at Wolfe as he carefully backs away from the chasm.
"How do you know my name?"
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Re: Paranoia (IC)

Postby DonChubby » Sat Mar 07, 2009 4:46 pm UTC

Wenton raises an eyebrow. "Yes that is quite strange. Though I'm sure there's a perfectly reasonable explanation, Mr. Wolfe?"
Wenton looks at Wolfe expectantly
Treason doth never prosper, what's the reason?

For if it prosper, none dare call it treason.

CreemyNougat wrote:It was the saddest orgasm ever.

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Levi
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Re: Paranoia (IC)

Postby Levi » Sat Mar 07, 2009 4:58 pm UTC

"I, uh, I... I don't know. It just came out. I guess you reminded me of my great-grandmother. Her name was Estee too. I'm not some sort of mutant, if that's what you're thinking. Let's talk about this on the way to the briefing room, once we find out where it is. It's probably not a good idea to keep Friend Computer waiting. Does anyone have any rope or something we can use to cross this chasm?"

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Re: Paranoia (IC)

Postby DonChubby » Sat Mar 07, 2009 5:24 pm UTC

"As a matter of fact, I have a bullhorn, perhaps I can get the attention of that guy over there." Wenton gets out a bullhorn, and raises it to his mouth.
"EXCUSE ME, SIR. CAN YOU POSSIBLY HELP US OVER THIS CHASM, OR THROW US SOME RED CLEARANCE CLOTHES?"
Treason doth never prosper, what's the reason?

For if it prosper, none dare call it treason.

CreemyNougat wrote:It was the saddest orgasm ever.

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Re: Paranoia (IC)

Postby el_loco_avs » Sat Mar 07, 2009 6:01 pm UTC

There must be a way to cross this.

*Loco starts looking at the walls for any indications*
You go your way.
I'll go your way too.

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Levi
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Re: Paranoia (IC)

Postby Levi » Sat Mar 07, 2009 6:09 pm UTC

Wolfe picks up a screw lying on the ground and tosses it into the chasm to test for traps/invisible floor/depth.

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Maseiken
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Re: Paranoia (IC)

Postby Maseiken » Sun Mar 08, 2009 12:55 am UTC

The walls have a few signs pointing to the chasm, and they note than both the storeroom and briefing room 12 are in that direction, there is, however, another sign, hung underneath the others, that notes "WARNING: Floor is in for maintenance, do not attempt to cross until floor is returned!"

The screw makes absolutely no sound whatsoever. Deep hole.

The Clone behind the counter picks up some bundles of clothing and hurls them towards you. They flutter and fall perfunctorily down the chasm. You can see a monitor behind him light up, indicating that Friend Computer is saying something to him, but you can't make out the words, he looks woeful.

In the room you have just come from, you hear the whirring of machinery, it sounds very powerful.
EDIT: I should mention that a corridor goes past the storeroom and ends similarly on the chasm, there is a second counter that faces onto this corridor.
"GRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOWR!!!!"
(Translation: "Objection!")

Maseiken had the ball at the top of the key...

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Re: Paranoia (IC)

Postby DonChubby » Sun Mar 08, 2009 1:25 am UTC

"Well this seems rather futile, we should probably try some of the other rooms." Wenton pauses and furrows his eyebrows. "Was that sound there before?"
Wenton walks over to the door they just came from, cautiously opens it and peeks out into the corridor.
Treason doth never prosper, what's the reason?

For if it prosper, none dare call it treason.

CreemyNougat wrote:It was the saddest orgasm ever.

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Re: Paranoia (IC)

Postby Levi » Sun Mar 08, 2009 1:49 am UTC

Wolfe tenses up, hearing the noises outside of the corridor and looks around frantically before getting a hold of himself.

"What do you see?" He asks.

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Re: Paranoia (IC)

Postby DonChubby » Sun Mar 08, 2009 2:05 am UTC

Wenton leans against the walls in relief and lets out a little chuckle. "It's just a cleaning robot. Heh, I almost thought Friend Computer had gotten mad at us." Wenton's face becomes more serious, "But we should still probably be careful around that thing, I heard of this one guy who got caught under one of these thing, all that was left was two fingernail and an earlobe. True story."
Wenton opens up the door, to show the cleaning robot to the rest of the group.
Treason doth never prosper, what's the reason?

For if it prosper, none dare call it treason.

CreemyNougat wrote:It was the saddest orgasm ever.

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Maseiken
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Re: Paranoia (IC)

Postby Maseiken » Sun Mar 08, 2009 2:12 am UTC

The droid takes up most of the room, it is a tangle of scrubbing brushes, vats of boiling water and nozzles dripping detergent. It is slowly trundling from the south to the north end of the room, and hasn't noticed you yet. A small speaker comes from the top,
"Troubleshooter team Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, you are to report immediately for complete cleansing!"
"GRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOWR!!!!"
(Translation: "Objection!")

Maseiken had the ball at the top of the key...

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Re: Paranoia (IC)

Postby DonChubby » Sun Mar 08, 2009 2:18 am UTC

Wenton quickly but silently closes the door again. "What do we do? I'm sure as hell not going out there."
Treason doth never prosper, what's the reason?

For if it prosper, none dare call it treason.

CreemyNougat wrote:It was the saddest orgasm ever.

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Re: Paranoia (IC)

Postby Levi » Sun Mar 08, 2009 3:13 am UTC

"Fascinating... Friend Computer might not have meant cleansing by the droid. However, it would be prudent to get out of here. Anybody have some mutant flying powers?"

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Re: Paranoia (IC)

Postby el_loco_avs » Sun Mar 08, 2009 1:09 pm UTC

"Flying? Hahahaha that's absurd! Ofcourse not. But... who wants to get... cleansed by that thing? I think I might have an alternative cleaning method for you guys... "


*Loco reveals his Super Soaper Hygiene Spray Gun*
You go your way.
I'll go your way too.

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Re: Paranoia (IC)

Postby Levi » Sun Mar 08, 2009 7:32 pm UTC

"It's better than the giant robot thing. Could you use it on yourself first, though? Just so we know it's not loaded with poison or something."

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Re: Paranoia (IC)

Postby DonChubby » Sun Mar 08, 2009 7:49 pm UTC

"Hmm, I wouldn't think he'd be so brazen as to try a trick like that. I do doubt that that thing is safe though, but if anyone feels like a go, I won't stop you." Wenton looks at the Spray Gun with mistrust.
"Also, I'm not entirely convinced that the droid will let us through even if we are clean. If it's received orders to clean us, it'll probably do so. I could try to see if there's an easy way to shut it off, but I might expose us, what do you think?"
Wenton listens, to hear if the droids still in the corridor.
Treason doth never prosper, what's the reason?

For if it prosper, none dare call it treason.

CreemyNougat wrote:It was the saddest orgasm ever.

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Re: Paranoia (IC)

Postby el_loco_avs » Sun Mar 08, 2009 9:56 pm UTC

"Heh, to be honest I don't really know how this thing works. I'll try it on the wall here first"

Loco points the Super Soaper at the wall and tries to shoot.
You go your way.
I'll go your way too.

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Re: Paranoia (IC)

Postby Maseiken » Sun Mar 08, 2009 10:46 pm UTC

The Droid is still in the room you came from, but it is slowly trudling to the north passage. It's about halfway down.

The Soaper squirts out a stream of forthy goop that hits the wall and steams gently. When it falls away the wall beneath is sparkling.
"GRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOWR!!!!"
(Translation: "Objection!")

Maseiken had the ball at the top of the key...

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Re: Paranoia (IC)

Postby DonChubby » Sun Mar 08, 2009 10:53 pm UTC

"Seems harmless enough. And I'd like to put an emphasis on the 'seems' part. I think I'll offer myself as a guinea pig, but try shooting just my hand with that - can't be too careful."
Wenton holds out his hands, closes his eyes and cowers slightly.
Treason doth never prosper, what's the reason?

For if it prosper, none dare call it treason.

CreemyNougat wrote:It was the saddest orgasm ever.

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Re: Paranoia (IC)

Postby el_loco_avs » Sun Mar 08, 2009 11:08 pm UTC

"Ok! Here goes..."


Loco shoots at Wenton's hand from almost point-blank range.
You go your way.
I'll go your way too.

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Re: Paranoia (IC)

Postby Maseiken » Mon Mar 09, 2009 1:52 am UTC

The pain is extreme, but there is no physicaly damage, indeed, the hand looks wonderfully clean and fresh, better than ever! and it is now pleasantly lemon-scented.
"GRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOWR!!!!"
(Translation: "Objection!")

Maseiken had the ball at the top of the key...

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Re: Paranoia (IC)

Postby DonChubby » Mon Mar 09, 2009 2:10 am UTC

Wenton lets out a loud scream and falls down on his knees, but relatively quickly regains his composure. Sitting on the floor he begins to talk with a lightly trembling voice, "Holy Friend Computer on a stick that hurt. That was absolutely terrible, but our only other alternative is that horror out there." He tilts his head towards the door. "What do you say?"
Treason doth never prosper, what's the reason?

For if it prosper, none dare call it treason.

CreemyNougat wrote:It was the saddest orgasm ever.

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Re: Paranoia (IC)

Postby el_loco_avs » Mon Mar 09, 2009 9:24 am UTC

"I don't feel particularly called to try that droid. And I do want to show up clean. I'll take the painful way over the unknown one."
Loco chuckles nervously and tries to smile.
You go your way.
I'll go your way too.

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Levi
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Re: Paranoia (IC)

Postby Levi » Mon Mar 09, 2009 3:39 pm UTC

"I'll go next. Might as well get it over with." Wolfe pulls out a knife and bites down on it.

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Re: Paranoia (IC)

Postby el_loco_avs » Mon Mar 09, 2009 3:48 pm UTC

Loco flinches at the knife but regains his composure quickly enough. He nervously steps back and raises the spray gun, some drips of sweat on his forehead.

"Are you sure?"
You go your way.
I'll go your way too.

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Re: Paranoia (IC)

Postby Levi » Mon Mar 09, 2009 3:58 pm UTC

"Go ahead. That droid would probably hurt me more. And there's less chance of dying this way."

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Re: Paranoia (IC)

Postby el_loco_avs » Mon Mar 09, 2009 4:03 pm UTC

Loco attempts to clean Wolfe by spraying all over him, trying to do it as quickly as possible.
You go your way.
I'll go your way too.

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Re: Paranoia (IC)

Postby Levi » Mon Mar 09, 2009 4:47 pm UTC

Wolfe barely flinches.

"Man, that hurt." He says after Loco finishes. "Friend Computer can do worse than that, though." He walks over to the corner, sits down with his back to the wall, and starts writing in the ground with his knife.

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Re: Paranoia (IC)

Postby el_loco_avs » Mon Mar 09, 2009 5:18 pm UTC

Loco looks from Wenton to Wolfe and back, looking pensive.

"Who's next? or does someone want to do me first now?
You go your way.
I'll go your way too.

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Re: Paranoia (IC)

Postby grythyttan » Mon Mar 09, 2009 6:18 pm UTC

"Well, I for one don't like the look of that spraygun-thingy." Tim says. He turns around and begins to walk towards the room and the cleaningbot. "I'll ake my chances with this instead."

He walks up to the bot and says in a friendly voice: "Excuse me buddy, but would you mind adding me to your cleaning program? Preferrably in a non-lethal and non-painful way."

Tim braces himself.
Joy of Cooking was far less of an achievement than Thyme Cube discovery, for I have Cubed the Spice, with 4 simultaneous flavor types in 1 plant of Earth.
Spoiler:
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Re: Paranoia (IC)

Postby DonChubby » Mon Mar 09, 2009 6:32 pm UTC

"Oh jeez, do the rest of me, before that Engine of Death comes after us others!"
Treason doth never prosper, what's the reason?

For if it prosper, none dare call it treason.

CreemyNougat wrote:It was the saddest orgasm ever.

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Re: Paranoia (IC)

Postby el_loco_avs » Mon Mar 09, 2009 6:37 pm UTC

Loco immediately sprays Wenton clean while keeping an eye on the droid.
You go your way.
I'll go your way too.


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