Paranoia (IC)

Of the Tabletop, and other, lesser varieties.

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el_loco_avs
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Re: Paranoia (IC)

Postby el_loco_avs » Fri Mar 27, 2009 10:14 am UTC

"I don't think stealing should be a reason for execution."
Loco stares at the corpse with wide eyes.
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Levi
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Re: Paranoia (IC)

Postby Levi » Fri Mar 27, 2009 12:25 pm UTC

"It could be a reason for execution... depending on what he stole. However... you did not have nearly enough evidence to shoot him."

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Maseiken
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Re: Paranoia (IC)

Postby Maseiken » Fri Mar 27, 2009 12:42 pm UTC

"YOU SHOT ME!"
This is heard from the floor, where Bill is lying in complete astonishment, he stands up, apparently as surprised as you at his miraculous recovery. The woman storms back into the room and two of friend computer's monitors light up,

BILL-G-BOW, you have been caught, red-handed, in fencing computer property in exchange for your own life. Wenton! I expected better of you than to accept this criminal's bribes, although your violent actions partially make up for this. I therefore award you only 4 Treachery points!

Bill-G-Bow, you are sentenced... to DEATH!


The woman quickly draws her Violet clearance pistol, but Bill ducks underneath it's blast and manages to scramble back to the door he entered earlier, gibbering madly all the way. The woman signals for the rest of you to surround the door.
"GRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOWR!!!!"
(Translation: "Objection!")

Maseiken had the ball at the top of the key...

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Re: Paranoia (IC)

Postby grythyttan » Fri Mar 27, 2009 12:47 pm UTC

"Well, we still need to get to get to sub-level 6. And now we can't ask him foor directions." Tim pokes Bill with his toe and continues.

"Was there a map included in the equipment? or does anyone know where this sub-level is? And fyrthermore Wenton, did you really have to kill him with the rifle? we are already low on ammo as it is and you just had to waste yours, didn't you. I wont share my barrels with you if you run out."

At this point, Tim is interrupted by Bills scream, as he suddenly is very much not dead. Tim helps surround the door and mutters. "wasting ammo and not even getting it done right."
Joy of Cooking was far less of an achievement than Thyme Cube discovery, for I have Cubed the Spice, with 4 simultaneous flavor types in 1 plant of Earth.
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Levi
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Re: Paranoia (IC)

Postby Levi » Fri Mar 27, 2009 1:07 pm UTC

Wolfe aims the rifle at the door. "Is there any other way out of that room?"

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Re: Paranoia (IC)

Postby DonChubby » Fri Mar 27, 2009 6:24 pm UTC

Wenton is outraged, "Not enough evidence to shoot him? He came up to me and confessed that he had stolen it! And I get awarded Treachery Points, of which I'm very happy by the way, yet you all get none for siding with the treacherous vermin."

Wenton shakes his head, "Oh well, let's just focus on this, shall we?" He readies his gun and aims at the door.
Treason doth never prosper, what's the reason?
For if it prosper, none dare call it treason.
CreemyNougat wrote:It was the saddest orgasm ever.

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Maseiken
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Re: Paranoia (IC)

Postby Maseiken » Sat Mar 28, 2009 12:59 am UTC

The woman gapes at Wenton for a moment before shaking her head and pointing her pistol at the door again, muttering out of the side of her mouth,
"I suppose 'award' was a bad choice of words..."
"GRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOWR!!!!"
(Translation: "Objection!")

Maseiken had the ball at the top of the key...

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DonChubby
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Re: Paranoia (IC)

Postby DonChubby » Sat Mar 28, 2009 1:15 am UTC

"I think you might have misunderstood. I am quite aware of the nature of Treachery Points, and my happiness lies in that I didn't get 'awarded' more. But never mind that, how do you suggest we proceed Ms...?"
Treason doth never prosper, what's the reason?

For if it prosper, none dare call it treason.

CreemyNougat wrote:It was the saddest orgasm ever.

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Maseiken
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Re: Paranoia (IC)

Postby Maseiken » Sat Mar 28, 2009 7:10 am UTC

She glares at you once more,
"My name is so far above your security clearance that if I were to divulge even one syllable to you without filling out at least 4 separate forms in triplicate, I'd be forced to continually kill your clones until your sixpack ran dry. Instead, you'll get 2 more TPs for querying a superior officer on irrelevant information."

Bill's voice emerges from the room, he sounds slightly emboldened,
"Nobody move! I'm opening the door, and I have a Tacnuke! It'll blow up everyone in this sector, unless you give me transportation and asylum in the Beta complex!"
Sure enough, the doorknob starts to rattle. The woman hisses at all of you momentarily, before backing slowly away from the door to allow it to open, he pistol still raised,
"You all get a TP for hearing that name!"
"GRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOWR!!!!"
(Translation: "Objection!")

Maseiken had the ball at the top of the key...

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Re: Paranoia (IC)

Postby el_loco_avs » Sat Mar 28, 2009 11:51 am UTC

Loco backs off to the side, keeping his laser pistol aimed at the door.


"What is behind that door? The armory? Where the Friend Computer's name did he get a tactical nuke?"
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Levi
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Re: Paranoia (IC)

Postby Levi » Sat Mar 28, 2009 2:10 pm UTC

Wolfe stands his ground and puts his finger on the trigger of his rifle.

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Maseiken
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Re: Paranoia (IC)

Postby Maseiken » Sat Mar 28, 2009 2:25 pm UTC

The door swings open to reveal Bill, in a suit of Ultra-Violet clearance Reflec armor, covering his body, he is also holding a large rocket launcher, mounted on which is the afforementioned Tacnuke, it is almost half a metre across, and he is slightly bowed by its weight, pointing it directly at the ground. He shudders violently and glares at you all,
"Get back! Get BACK! or I swear I'll do it!"
The woman backs away slowly, signalling for you to do the same,
"The atrium's outside, there's elevators there, we can hotwire one for Beta, just don't do anything rash now, Bill..."
Your Transferral to Beta's computer banks is in progress now, Bill...
Bill looks slightly relieved, and advances slowly, making for the door on the other side of the room and watching you all warily.
"GRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOWR!!!!"
(Translation: "Objection!")

Maseiken had the ball at the top of the key...

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Re: Paranoia (IC)

Postby DonChubby » Sat Mar 28, 2009 3:01 pm UTC

Wenton backs off, demonstratively holding his gun by the handle, in between his index finger and thumb.
Treason doth never prosper, what's the reason?

For if it prosper, none dare call it treason.

CreemyNougat wrote:It was the saddest orgasm ever.

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Levi
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Re: Paranoia (IC)

Postby Levi » Sat Mar 28, 2009 3:16 pm UTC

Wolfe holsters his rifle and raises his hands while backing up calmly.

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Re: Paranoia (IC)

Postby el_loco_avs » Sat Mar 28, 2009 5:23 pm UTC

Loco holsters his pistol and moves aside, slowly circling to the side
You go your way.
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Maseiken
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Re: Paranoia (IC)

Postby Maseiken » Sun Mar 29, 2009 1:35 am UTC

Bill advances once more, shuffling nervously towards the door, eventually he opens it, waving the Nuke wildly at you as he walks through,
"Don't try and follow me! Or you'll regret it!"
As soon as he closes it behind him, you can hear various screams of terror and general pandemonium, but you also hear Friend Computer advising the people outside and the noise calms down. The woman cautiously opens the door to reveal a rapidly dispersing crowd, and turns to you,
"Well, I think it's about time to report to R&D, don't you?"

((Cultural note, Troubleshooter teams are generally made to field-test any devices or weaponry that R&D might have come up with recently, this is partially beneficial))
"GRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOWR!!!!"
(Translation: "Objection!")

Maseiken had the ball at the top of the key...

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el_loco_avs
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Re: Paranoia (IC)

Postby el_loco_avs » Sun Mar 29, 2009 11:34 am UTC

"Sounds good to me! It's always nice to go there. Er... which way is that?"
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Maseiken
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Re: Paranoia (IC)

Postby Maseiken » Sun Mar 29, 2009 12:32 pm UTC

Admirable! He does not observe the world around him! Observation leads to knowledge and knowledge leads to TREACHERY! I revoke one treachery point from your record, good man!

The Woman rolls her eyes and points outside to where Bill has just made his escape,
"You would have seen their booth on the way in..."
"GRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOWR!!!!"
(Translation: "Objection!")

Maseiken had the ball at the top of the key...

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Re: Paranoia (IC)

Postby DonChubby » Sun Mar 29, 2009 1:12 pm UTC

"No point in delaying. Shall we?" Wenton says with a slight look of dread upon his face and starts walking outside.
Treason doth never prosper, what's the reason?

For if it prosper, none dare call it treason.

CreemyNougat wrote:It was the saddest orgasm ever.

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Re: Paranoia (IC)

Postby el_loco_avs » Sun Mar 29, 2009 1:55 pm UTC

Loco follows Wenton outside, taking care to stay behind him at first.
You go your way.
I'll go your way too.

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Re: Paranoia (IC)

Postby Maseiken » Sun Mar 29, 2009 2:04 pm UTC

((I'm assuming you're all just going along))
The Atrium is now abandoned, and, indeed, locked down! The only clones present are the wild-eyed clones of Research and Development. They stand next to their booth in White labcoats next to an array of devices ranging from cute, to worrying, to sheer pants-wetting terrifying.

One of them advances forward and offers his hand,
"Hallo! Velcome to, yes, Research und Development! Ve haff many interresting devices to be showink you today, yes! I am Professor von Hinkelshprot!"
One of the less senior clones whispers,
"He thinks that's his name, just play along..."
Hinkelsprot beams at you and gestures to a table of unique objects,
"Zese, yes, are the devices ve vill be givink to you gentlemen for your mission und ze testing of zeir usefulness und lack of exploding! Five devices, five clones, vun for each, is gut, yes?"

The first device appears to be an ordinary Laser Ammo barrel. The second is a pair of earmuffs. The third is simply a metal box. The fourth seems to be a bristly mass of spikes and spinning blades attached to a handle. And the Fifth is yet another Super Soaper.
"Now, ve cannot test here, must test in field, too dangerous to be testink here, but can giff you briefing, yes!"
He goes through each of the devices, as he describes each one, a lesser clone comes forward and packs it into a cardboard box, taking extreme care to not actually touch it with any except elongated tongs,
1."Zis is Laser Pistol, But! Is also brain smarter-upper! Ve figure, Soldier in field, he has gun, but no plan! Big deal! He still lose! So! Combine gun vit' SMARTS, unt... HOORAY Big Victory party celebration! Zimply Point nozzle at ze head, hold down Svitch, IS VERY IMPORTANT YOU HOLD DOWN SVITCH! Otherwise head go boom! Bye-Bye!"
He points frantically at a small switch on the side of the barrel, it depicts a small explosion on one side and a question mark on the other,
"Flick ze Svitch, point at head, pull trigger, hooray, clever plan, enemies gone, Big victory party, zen later, smarts is gone, back to normal..."
((An enhanced state of intelligence means you'll get skill bonuses, hints from the GM, and the ability to retcon one decision you made since using the device... if it works...))
2."Zis is for keeping ears Varm, yes? Also, if things is too loud, you put these on, yes, unt is not so loud anymore..."

3."I do not remember vhat zis does. It looks quite scary, I vould not carry myself, but maybe iz gut, I do not know. Please tell us vhat it does vhen you find out, ve're all very curious..."

4."Zis is Spiky thingie of doom unt death. Looks very scary, yes? Looks dangeruous to use, yes? Vell, don't vorry, it has superb safety device, cannot harm you vhile you use it, iz superb. You have it in room, room full of bad men, perhaps, you use siky thingie, all other men dead, you, completly fine, unharmed, perhaps better zen before, because now bad men iz gone, iz very gut."

5."ah, now ZIS, ZIS is superb, looks like Super Soaper, yes? But IZ NOT! IZ full of Horrible ACID zat BURNS FLESH but not Steel or stone, iz just good for Flesh, it Eats down to bone in second unt can kill a man vit' just a zmall drop on top of head!"
One of the lesser clones comes forward and whispers in his ear,
"Oooo~oh... Oh yes, I had forgotten. Ve vere developing two of these. The other iz full of healing stuff. iz amazing, you have disease, you have cut, maybe, on your chest, you have perhaps, no organs perhaps organs are being eaten, zis is amazing, it heal you in seconds, 'Oh you haff no eyes? here haff healing thingie! Oh! Iz all better now!' Iz good, iz great!"
He taps his chin thoughtfully,
"Now if only I could be rememberink vhich iz vhich... Oh vell! Iz vhat field testing is for, no!?"
He laugs uproarously and stacks up the boxes in front of you,
"So! Choose vun each! Iz gut Eqvipment!"
((EDIT: I had way too much fun with this post, typing the accent was just, awesome))
"GRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOWR!!!!"
(Translation: "Objection!")

Maseiken had the ball at the top of the key...

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Re: Paranoia (IC)

Postby grythyttan » Sun Mar 29, 2009 2:31 pm UTC

Tim listens to the professors explanation and seems deeply concentrated on the different devices. He walks over to Hinkelshprot and picks up the metal box, turning it over and looking for any discernable features other than it's boxiness.

Without taking his eyes of it he then says: "Can I take this? it looks interresting" to noone in particular.
Joy of Cooking was far less of an achievement than Thyme Cube discovery, for I have Cubed the Spice, with 4 simultaneous flavor types in 1 plant of Earth.
Spoiler:
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Re: Paranoia (IC)

Postby Maseiken » Sun Mar 29, 2009 2:36 pm UTC

Hinkelsprot dashes forward and slaps your hands off the box desperatly, glaring at it in intense fear at it before completly relaxing,
"Vhy of course! Iz vhat you are here for!"
The box is heavy and the seam of it's lid is almost invisible it's so thin. It's only feature is a large latch that dominates one side of the box, it comprises several bars and catches, and would take at least five minutes to open, although it requires no key. Hinkelsprot seems to have decided that it is safe to touchm but he keeps his distance anyway.
"GRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOWR!!!!"
(Translation: "Objection!")

Maseiken had the ball at the top of the key...

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Re: Paranoia (IC)

Postby DonChubby » Sun Mar 29, 2009 3:14 pm UTC

Wenton looks extremely concerned, he hesitantly walks over to the ammo barrel, "I think I'll test this one."

((That was awesome Maseiken, I had a great laugh reading zat))
Treason doth never prosper, what's the reason?

For if it prosper, none dare call it treason.

CreemyNougat wrote:It was the saddest orgasm ever.

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Re: Paranoia (IC)

Postby Maseiken » Sun Mar 29, 2009 3:19 pm UTC

((Forgive me if the accent wanders I actuallly have a backstory for this guy that explains why he's like this, but I'll leave it for later))
"Ya! Ya! Zat is gut! Brain is made better, yes? Unt zen, you und me, ve take OVER ZE VORLD! KYAHAHAHAHAHAHAhaha... ah... I kid, I kid, but iz gut!"
"GRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOWR!!!!"
(Translation: "Objection!")

Maseiken had the ball at the top of the key...

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Re: Paranoia (IC)

Postby SecondTalon » Sun Mar 29, 2009 3:48 pm UTC

Estee grabs the spikey spike of spikey deathwhirligigger of spikiness. "And when it is in operation, I am completely safe, yes?"
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Re: Paranoia (IC)

Postby el_loco_avs » Sun Mar 29, 2009 5:43 pm UTC

Loco walks to the table and picks up the Acid Spray Gun. He studies it, looking at the different parts and such.
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Re: Paranoia (IC)

Postby Levi » Sun Mar 29, 2009 6:02 pm UTC

"Well, at least my ears won't be cold." Wolfe picks up the earmuffs and examines them, but refrains from putting them on.

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Re: Paranoia (IC)

Postby Maseiken » Sun Mar 29, 2009 10:58 pm UTC

SecondTalon wrote:Estee grabs the spikey spike of spikey deathwhirligigger of spikiness. "And when it is in operation, I am completely safe, yes?"

"ya! Ya! You Sving it around, Unt no part of it vill harm you! Iz very gut!"
He Puts on some extremly thick rubber gloves and places the device in a large box, handing it to you with extreme care.

He does the same with the others and walks you to the elevators where the Violet clearance woman is waiting, she calls up an elevator and stands back as it arrives,
"The computer's presence has been lessened in Sub-Sector six due the actions of the robed clones, whoever they are, so you'll only be able to make contact infrequently. The clone vats are in full working order, so don't think you can get out of this just by conveniently dying on us..."
She gestures to the open elevator and stands back, Hinkelsprot tries to contain his laughter at some joke known only to himself, but fails.
"GRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOWR!!!!"
(Translation: "Objection!")

Maseiken had the ball at the top of the key...

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Re: Paranoia (IC)

Postby el_loco_avs » Mon Mar 30, 2009 8:26 am UTC

Loco prepares himself, putting away his equipment neatly and readying his laser pistol. Then he steps into the elevator with a deep sigh.

"Alright. Let's rock dudes!"
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Re: Paranoia (IC)

Postby DonChubby » Mon Mar 30, 2009 10:28 am UTC

"Sounds good." Wenton prepares his gun with the Brain Smarter-Upper as he steps into the elevator.
Treason doth never prosper, what's the reason?

For if it prosper, none dare call it treason.

CreemyNougat wrote:It was the saddest orgasm ever.

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Re: Paranoia (IC)

Postby Levi » Mon Mar 30, 2009 12:51 pm UTC

"Time for some thrilling heroics." Wolfe cocks his rifle and strides into the elevator.

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Re: Paranoia (IC)

Postby grythyttan » Mon Mar 30, 2009 7:33 pm UTC

Tim adops a posture of utter confidence and reliability and strides forwards with each footstep echoing Importance and Significance on his way to the elevator.

"Yes indeed, let us go forth into an age of prosperity, adventure and fortune. Gentlemen, this might be the first step onto the road of heroics, and as we take this step we become part of something greater, something that will be remembered for generations, or at least well into next week."
Joy of Cooking was far less of an achievement than Thyme Cube discovery, for I have Cubed the Spice, with 4 simultaneous flavor types in 1 plant of Earth.
Spoiler:
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Re: Paranoia (IC)

Postby Maseiken » Tue Mar 31, 2009 9:37 am UTC

In the elevator, a Monitor channeling Friend Computer seems to consider this for a moment,
Nah, you'll probably just get eaten.
At this, the elevator plummets at immense speed, the display advertising how many floors have been covered flashes chaotically, impossible to read until finally, with a joly, the elevator stops, and the display glows defiantly: S.L 6.

This is your evac point, don't come back unsuccesful! Your priority should be to secure a base-camp, you guys have to sleep or something, right?
((I'm not sure what to do about resting up, but I'll let you guys figure it out, if you collapse from exhaustion, I'll tell you))
The elevator doors open, revealing a grubby, deserted Atrium, much like the one you just departed, but you can see that it links up with similar rooms on either side, where the entrance to the briefing room and the entrance would be, respectively. A lone maintenance droid (About shin-high) scrubs the floor, but it is useless, the entire area is completly filthy, and only one of the grand lights on the ceiling is active. The alcoves along the walls are the same, but they are filled with debris and garbage, the still body of and Infrared lies in one of these, his innards spread along the floor behind him.
"GRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOWR!!!!"
(Translation: "Objection!")

Maseiken had the ball at the top of the key...

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Re: Paranoia (IC)

Postby grythyttan » Tue Mar 31, 2009 10:02 am UTC

Tim surveys the area and takes a few steps in the filth. He picks something up but decides that he doesn't really want to know what it is and throws it away again. Then he speaks up:

"What a lovely neighbourhood. Simple, yet warm and welcoming."

"Since it seems to be built according to the same blueprint as where we just were I think we should visit the armory where bill found the nuke. Or the equivalent room on this floor at least. It seemed to have only one entrance and might work as a base-camp."
Joy of Cooking was far less of an achievement than Thyme Cube discovery, for I have Cubed the Spice, with 4 simultaneous flavor types in 1 plant of Earth.
Spoiler:
Image

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Re: Paranoia (IC)

Postby el_loco_avs » Tue Mar 31, 2009 10:07 am UTC

Loco walks carefully towards the eviscerated corpse and tries to study it, to find any clues on how or why this happened.
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Re: Paranoia (IC)

Postby Levi » Tue Mar 31, 2009 11:35 am UTC

"We ought to have a base *dramatic pause* with two exits, just to be sure we don't get stuck. However, *dramatic pause* checking the armory for weapons *dramatic pause* is a good idea." Wolfe heads to the armory, staying alert. He examines the droid on the way. "Do these things have any parts we might be able to use *dramatic pause* to keep our weapons in good repair?"

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Re: Paranoia (IC)

Postby SecondTalon » Tue Mar 31, 2009 1:53 pm UTC

"I'll check."

Estee carefully examines the scrubbing droid, and tentatively touches it, making sure that it doesn't bolt.. or more importantly, spin around and attack.
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Re: Paranoia (IC)

Postby DonChubby » Tue Mar 31, 2009 2:02 pm UTC

"Hmm, I'll go with Wolfe, see if there's anything of use in the armory."
Wenton follows, looking disgusted at all the filth to the point that he is almost walking on his toes.
Treason doth never prosper, what's the reason?

For if it prosper, none dare call it treason.

CreemyNougat wrote:It was the saddest orgasm ever.

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Re: Paranoia (IC)

Postby Maseiken » Wed Apr 01, 2009 4:39 am UTC

Estee breaks the robot apart with ease, it makes a smallnoise as it's parts are scattered across the floor before it's eyes dim down to nothing. Inside there is only standard cleaning equipment, it's detergent canister has long since been empty.

the briefing room is empty, the Monitors that channeled friend computer during your brieifing have all been broken. In fact, all the monitors in the atrium are in a similar state. Clearly, someone didn't appreciate the benevolent CPU's presence.

The Armory has been completly stripped of equipment, all that remains is a single Laser Pistol, without a Barrel.

The corpse has a horrified look on it's face , for obvious reason, as you can see that his flesh has been coarsely torn from his abdomen. it seems suspiciously empty, and the organs on the floor next to it could only account for some of this absence. The flesh around it's neck is also torn. A Happy pill would be nice right about now...
"GRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOWR!!!!"
(Translation: "Objection!")

Maseiken had the ball at the top of the key...


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