How do you find people who play d&d? (Looking For D&D Group)

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How do you find people who play d&d? (Looking For D&D Group)

Postby slightlydead » Sun Oct 04, 2009 5:34 am UTC

I want to play this game, but I have no idea how to approach someone and ask if they play it. It feels like I'm doing something worse than asking someone if they smoke pot. I can imagine people's eye bulging and backhanding me for even mentioning it. Why do I have this fatalist perception? I used to play TCGs and the amount of people who have nothing better to do than walk by and jeer at your past time is stunning. Is this the same for d&d?

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Re: How do you find people who play d&d?

Postby Avelion » Sun Oct 04, 2009 11:48 am UTC

I think the social stigma of DnD has waned quite a bit, as long as you aren't walking around town in chainmail and elf ears. As for finding players there is craigslist and even some dedicated websites for such a thing.
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Re: How do you find people who play d&d?

Postby headprogrammingczar » Sun Oct 04, 2009 1:10 pm UTC

There was a play-by-post thread a while back that was pretty successful. You can see if anyone here is up for another.
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Re: How do you find people who play d&d?

Postby Naurgul » Sun Oct 04, 2009 1:24 pm UTC

The best thing you can do is tell close friends who are already generally into gaming. Second best thing is to ask around at a hobby shop or on the internet. Getting a group together is hell, there's really not a magic recipe.
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Re: How do you find people who play d&d?

Postby The Utilitarian » Sun Oct 04, 2009 7:33 pm UTC

Local colleges and universities often have gaming clubs that you can make contacts through.

My girlfriend and I are in the same boat, right now trying to get gaming together here in vancouver is turning out to be a pain. Gone through like 5-6 different people who show up for a few games and then flake out.
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Re: How do you find people who play d&d?

Postby pseudoidiot » Sun Oct 04, 2009 8:30 pm UTC

Some of these have been mentioned, but here's the list of resources I'd use:

1) Internet.
Depending on your area, NearbyGamers might be of use.
Look for online forums for your game of choice. You can usually find whole boards or topics devoted to people trying to find other players.

2) Local gaming/hobby stores, especially if they have areas set aside for gaming
Hang out a little, introduce yourself. Especially to the people that work there. They usually know most people that shop there regularly, and can likely help point you in the right direction to get started. A lot of places even have bulletin boards where people put up notes and such looking for other players.

3) Talk to friends you already have and judge their interest. Especially if they do other forms of gaming, like board games or video games. Playing a pencil&paper RPG isn't a big leap from there. Even if you put together an entire group of people that has never played before, it's a way to get started and a little time spent on the internet can answer any question you'll ever come up with about playing, especially for a game as prolific as D&D.

3) Colleges/universities often have student gaming groups. Hell, even if you're not a student and can't be an official member of the group, it's doubtful they'd turn away someone that's interested in gaming. At the very least they might be able to help you get a group together or get into a current one.
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Re: How do you find people who play d&d?

Postby Gelsamel » Mon Oct 05, 2009 4:40 am UTC

headprogrammingczar wrote:There was a play-by-post thread a while back that was pretty successful. You can see if anyone here is up for another.


Depends what you mean by "Pretty Successful".
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Re: How do you find people who play d&d?

Postby Adacore » Mon Oct 05, 2009 10:59 am UTC

The only group I've found was via the internets, I only went once, because unfortunately their weekly meeting time clashed with other stuff I needed to do, but they seemed nice enough and not axe-murderers. But yeah, the general suggestions above are the right idea - first, if you have enough friends who are interested, that's the easiest option; then internets, university clubs and hobby-shops. Also, you mention you're into CCG - while there's not a huge overlap, I generally find that a significant fraction of people who play CCGs also tend to know about RPG groups, even if they don't play themselves. I know a couple of guys from the local CCG group here also play RPGs at weekends.

My personal experience is, however, limited. I've played and run several RPGs in play-by-post online, but only ever attended a single play session in the real world. Play-by-post works ok, but combat can be slow and tiresome, and people (the GM in particular) tend to burn out and let the game die.

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Re: How do you find people who play d&d?

Postby slightlydead » Mon Oct 05, 2009 5:04 pm UTC

I'm a total d&d newbie though so I hope I don't get thrown out when table top veterans realize this >_< Many of my gamer friends don't even have the slightest idea what d&d is about so I'll probably have to sleuth around.

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Re: How do you find people who play d&d?

Postby clockworkmonk » Mon Oct 05, 2009 5:17 pm UTC

Most groups are pretty accommodating to entirely new players in my experience. People generally enjoy sharing their hobbies. The players will generally slow down a bit and help you get started. If you can't find a group that already exists, then you might have to make your own.

Or hey, ask on this forum if there are any groups in your area, I mean, there might be.
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Re: How do you find people who play d&d?

Postby pseudoidiot » Mon Oct 05, 2009 6:22 pm UTC

slightlydead wrote:I'm a total d&d newbie though so I hope I don't get thrown out when table top veterans realize this >_<
You say that like you'd hide it. Just be upfront, "Hey, I've never played D&D, but I'm really interested in learning." Aside from complete assholes, most gamers will be more than happy to help get you started. Everyone started out knowing nothing about gaming, so anyone that gives you a hard time for not already knowing something isn't someone you want to be in a group with, anyhow.
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Re: How do you find people who play d&d?

Postby Naurgul » Mon Oct 05, 2009 7:15 pm UTC

Indeed, I think it's way more common for newbies to don't give the game a proper chance than veterans to not have enough patience for newbies. As clockworkmonk said, people want to bring more people to their hobbies.
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Re: How do you find people who play d&d?

Postby Heisenberg » Mon Oct 05, 2009 9:22 pm UTC

And remember, everyone loves the Cleric.

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Re: How do you find people who play d&d?

Postby slightlydead » Tue Oct 06, 2009 5:24 am UTC

Heisenberg wrote:And remember, everyone loves the Cleric.

haha seen enough "lf healers" in mmos to understand this completely

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Re: How do you find people who play d&d?

Postby SecondTalon » Tue Oct 06, 2009 2:25 pm UTC

Sure, but generally speaking, as there's an actual round (everyone takes a turn, repeat) and as the damage per second can be often expressed as a percentage (This creature deals 10-30% of an average Xth level fighter's hit points per hit, but only a 20-40% chance of hitting) and due to the strength of a cleric's healing magics (Doing on average 25% of an Xth level fighters hitpoints of healing)... the Cleric usually has 2-4 rounds of nothealing for every round of healing. This is.. well, it's a huge assumption and all kinds of situations are going to change and all, but as a general rule you're going to spend about as much time actually fighting as you will healing and will be expected to do so.. unlike most MMOs where people get all pissy when the healer throws an attack spell at the enemy.

Unless shit's hitting the fan, of course. Then it should be a round of healing every round that caps out around round 4 because you guys ran the fuck away and finally outpaced the horrible thing that was about to eat your flesh. Or healing every round for a few rounds because the horrible thing decided to try to eat the wizard and it's taking the fighter a moment to wrestle it to the ground.. and wizards are squishy and need healing if something looks at them funny (and they haven't had a chance to get any protective wards up, naturally. If they had, it's just as likely that the horrible thing will have it's arm ripped off by the protective barrier or whatever. Or it's the one wizard that specializes in grappling, or some other odd situation)
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Re: How do you find people who play d&d?

Postby clockworkmonk » Tue Oct 06, 2009 3:11 pm UTC

Well, to be fair, I've heard my group call the cleric some less than flattering terms. Of course, my group's been playing together for 10? years or so now, and its all in good taste. Still, the cleric is sometimes called Heal-bitch. Or, sometimes the Cleric is less than good, and charges the party for heals. Generally, we start new players as a Fighter, as they are among the simplest mechanically and generally very sturdy. Once the new guy has a grasp of the basic mechanics, we rotate them out until they find a class that fits their play style.

Of course, don't be surprised if the older players make fun of you a bit. Some hazing is pretty normal in most hobbies, particularly ones that require small, close groups. Also, and because this is important it will be caps, bold, and underlined:

DO NOT TOUCH OTHER PLAYER'S DICE WITHOUT PERMISSION

most people are pretty good about sharing, but some have big, heavy dice superstitions. My friends have punished their dice for rolling badly in a wide variety of ways. One was putting the dice lowest number up in the freezer so it would learn that rolling low means you go in the freezer. I have seen people nearly come to blows because someone touched their dice. Its not reasonable, and most people are pretty good about, but its better safe than sorry.

Apparently, I got distracted from the main purpose of this, but whatever, I just think you should be prepared for some of the oddities of the hobby.
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Re: How do you find people who play d&d?

Postby SecondTalon » Tue Oct 06, 2009 3:36 pm UTC

Even if you know the person's all about sharing their dice (or gaming books, or die rolling box or any other equipment they have), it's always good to ask first. For the same reason that you ask someone if you can have a drink out of their 12 pack even though you already know they're going to say yes - politeness and all that.
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Re: How do you find people who play d&d?

Postby Naurgul » Tue Oct 06, 2009 4:16 pm UTC

clockworkmonk wrote:most people are pretty good about sharing, but some have big, heavy dice superstitions. My friends have punished their dice for rolling badly in a wide variety of ways. One was putting the dice lowest number up in the freezer so it would learn that rolling low means you go in the freezer. I have seen people nearly come to blows because someone touched their dice. Its not reasonable, and most people are pretty good about, but its better safe than sorry.
Even though I absolutely agree that one shouldn't touch other people's things without permission (at least in the beginning) I thought that the dice superstitions thing was mostly a myth.
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Re: How do you find people who play d&d?

Postby clockworkmonk » Tue Oct 06, 2009 4:33 pm UTC

well, most people are pretty light about it, they just kind of arrange their dice in a particular way between rolls, roll in particular ways, little things like that. only a few players get into the really crazy ones.

I, for one, make sure my dice are stacked by color with the highest number of each die face up.
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Re: How do you find people who play d&d?

Postby SecondTalon » Tue Oct 06, 2009 7:25 pm UTC

Naurgul wrote:
clockworkmonk wrote:most people are pretty good about sharing, but some have big, heavy dice superstitions. My friends have punished their dice for rolling badly in a wide variety of ways. One was putting the dice lowest number up in the freezer so it would learn that rolling low means you go in the freezer. I have seen people nearly come to blows because someone touched their dice. Its not reasonable, and most people are pretty good about, but its better safe than sorry.
Even though I absolutely agree that one shouldn't touch other people's things without permission (at least in the beginning) I thought that the dice superstitions thing was mostly a myth.
While I agree completely with you in that it is just superstition and has no bearing on reality....

I still segregate my new dice for about six months before throwing them in the bag with the rest of 'em.
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Re: How do you find people who play d&d?

Postby clockworkmonk » Tue Oct 06, 2009 7:35 pm UTC

I meant to complete that thought. The reason Highest number up? so they get used to it. I know my dice are not sentient, but that does not stop me from anthropomorphizing them.
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Re: How do you find people who play d&d?

Postby Heisenberg » Tue Oct 06, 2009 8:10 pm UTC

clockworkmonk wrote:I meant to complete that thought. The reason Highest number up? so they get used to it. I know my dice are not sentient, but that does not stop me from anthropomorphizing them.

I like to think that there's a nugget of truth in this, in that gravitational creep will slowly result in the mass of the die being distributed closer to the one, therefore giving a greater likelihood of rolling the maximum number.

A real materials scientist would probably tell me I'm wrong, but it's how I justify my superstitions.

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Re: How do you find people who play d&d?

Postby EmptySet » Wed Oct 07, 2009 1:38 am UTC

Strangely, believing a particular die is "lucky" is one of the most sensible superstitions, since your bog-standard, mass-produced dice often aren't as fair as you might think. The most effective way to get higher rolls would theoretically be to buy dozens of cheap dice, roll them all a thousand times, and use the ones which roll high the most. It's kind of impractical, though.

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Re: How do you find people who play d&d?

Postby PhoenixEnigma » Wed Oct 07, 2009 3:16 am UTC

EmptySet wrote:Strangely, believing a particular die is "lucky" is one of the most sensible superstitions, since your bog-standard, mass-produced dice often aren't as fair as you might think. The most effective way to get higher rolls would theoretically be to buy dozens of cheap dice, roll them all a thousand times, and use the ones which roll high the most. It's kind of impractical, though.


Most cheap d6's are unfair by their nature, since they use dimples for markings. More expensive dice tend to be more fair, in my experiance.

Anyways - I started playing by grabbing the core rulebooks and some dice and roping a handful of friends into playing (most of whom already liked RPGs and fantasy settings). It didn't really work that well, to be honest. Some people weren't that into it. However, for the next game, I had a few friends I knew enjoyed playing, and was able to tap. They invited a few of their friends who might be interested, and so on. It kinda snowballed, and sooner or later you start touching a few other snowballs, and everything is good.
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Re: How do you find people who play d&d?

Postby Sir_Elderberry » Thu Oct 08, 2009 1:41 am UTC

I got into it through friends who already played it and knew I"d like it.

Who did you play TCGs with? Those same channels can find you D&D. People have also mentioned local game shops; this is highly advisable. My local game shop plays two rounds of D&D every Saturday.
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D&D newbie looking for games in London area

Postby Skoffin » Tue Mar 16, 2010 4:36 pm UTC

Ahoy hoy

While I've always liked the idea of D&D and other tabletop games I've only recently been able to join in on them, trouble is I moved shortly after getting into it so now I have no one to play with. Actually, I don't know anyone at this point as I moved from Australia to England. Anyway, I was wondering if anyone in the London area would know good places to seek out some games or even if you'd mind letting me tag along to yours or something.
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Re: D&D newbie looking for games in London area

Postby SecondTalon » Tue Mar 16, 2010 5:03 pm UTC

This place is a little too international for this sort of service.

You may want to try RPG Registry, Nearby Gamers or Spielerz for finding a local gaming group.
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Re: How do you find people who play d&d? (Looking For D&D Gr

Postby Shadic » Fri Mar 19, 2010 4:31 am UTC

NearbyGamers worked for me. I put up a profile, messaged a guy, didn't hear back from him.

Then later, another guy messages me, he actually had some success finding others as well, and now we play every Friday.

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Re: How do you find people who play d&d? (Looking For D&D Gr

Postby Axman » Sun Mar 21, 2010 8:17 pm UTC

Go to a gaming convention! Meeting people in person will tell you scads.

Pass around flyers, bring booze, and throw an after-party in your hotel room. Make sure your room is a smoking room or has direct access to the outside, like a balcony or patio. Give away door prizes to get people to come. If you're not old enough to buy booze, break the damn law, booze is too important for social events. Have horse doovers, and real food; pizza's not cool. Unless they're mini-horse doover pizzas. Doesn't need to be hot food, you can get party platters from a deli, but a Crock-Pot of chili con queso goes a long way. Bring music, too.

Also, if you don't know what kind of booze to bring because you're not of age, a flat of PBR or something else cheap, two six-packs of craft beer, like Blue Moon and Sam Adams, a magnum of red and white Concha y Toro, a bottle of spiced Bacardi, a bottle of Gordon's gin, a bottle of Gordon's vodka, a two-liter of tonic, a bottle of limeade, a bottle of cranberry juice, a twelve-pack of diet Coke, a twelve-pack of Coke, a 12-pack of lemon-lime soda, and two 20lb bags of ice is about what you'll want, along with cups and paper plates and paper towels. Beer and sodas go in the bathtub. Advertise all this in the flier.

You don't have to drink any yourself. Remember, friends don't like pukey folk.

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Re: How do you find people who play d&d? (Looking For D&D Gr

Postby cdrcjsn » Sun Apr 11, 2010 4:29 am UTC

If people are still looking for people to play D&D, they might also try going to WotC's website www.wizards.com. They're the ones who make Dungeons and Dragons. The forums are full of people looking for gamers.

Also, a recent development is D&D encounters. Short (a couple of hours at most) D&D play on Wednesday nights sponsored by WotC and can be found at most gaming stores near you.
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Re: How do you find people who play d&d? (Looking For D&D Gr

Postby Solo » Mon Apr 12, 2010 4:38 pm UTC

You could try The Tangled Web and Mythweavers. They offer forums for online roleplaying and you can probably post a looking for group thread for real life games somewhere.
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