shocking news about cookie monster.

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shocking news about cookie monster.

Postby Mach1ne » Tue Mar 03, 2009 10:30 pm UTC

I decided to share some pointless and random information that I learned about the other day with everyone here. The cookie monster no longer eats cookies. Supposedly sesame street wanted to make a larger impact on kids by making cookie monster eat healthier things. According to a few articles, the cookie monster only eats cookies on occasion. Not sure I am very enthused by this, i liked cookie monster. I wonder what they'll call him now, The-Eats-Cookies-On-Occasion Monster? Or maybe they'll cut the cookies out completely and change him to Fruitie Monster?

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Re: shocking news about cookie monster.

Postby ParanoidDrone » Tue Mar 03, 2009 10:33 pm UTC

Tutti-Fruitti Monster: Now in eye-burning pink?

IDK, first thing that came to mind.
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Re: shocking news about cookie monster.

Postby Samp » Tue Mar 03, 2009 10:34 pm UTC

I thought the whole point of the cookie monster is that you didnt want to be like him. It kind of showed to the kids what they look like.

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Re: shocking news about cookie monster.

Postby SecondTalon » Tue Mar 03, 2009 10:36 pm UTC

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Re: shocking news about cookie monster.

Postby ParanoidDrone » Tue Mar 03, 2009 10:40 pm UTC

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Re: shocking news about cookie monster.

Postby poxic » Tue Mar 03, 2009 10:42 pm UTC

Samp wrote:I thought the whole point of the cookie monster is that you didnt want to be like him. It kind of showed to the kids what they look like.

That might have been the intent, but how many kids did you grow up with who made the "om nom nom" noises whenever they ate cookies? Cookie Monster was cool! Everyone wanted to be like him!

Or maybe I just hung around with the weird kids. >.>
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Re: shocking news about cookie monster.

Postby aging.child » Tue Mar 03, 2009 11:13 pm UTC

Oh no no no. This won't do. You see, in kindergarten, we had a custodian that would come into our classroom and steal a cookie every day. We called him Cookie Monster. Now it won't make sense. :(

Come to think of it, he probably wasn't the best role model either.

But I don't think cookie monster was the one encouraging us to eat all those cookies, cookies taste good. Oscar was cool too, but I didn't want to be like him because living in a trash can wasn't fun. Stupid adults.
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Re: shocking news about cookie monster.

Postby Okita » Tue Mar 03, 2009 11:40 pm UTC

It's okay, Cookie Monster went on the Colbert Report to set record straight.

Cookie Monster's been there. He had crazy time in 70's and 80's.
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Re: shocking news about cookie monster.

Postby Mach1ne » Wed Mar 04, 2009 3:44 am UTC

Hahaha...funny...although I think I liked him more in his crazy times...Back when he knew how to say like two words "EAT COOKIES!"

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Re: shocking news about cookie monster.

Postby Clumpy » Wed Mar 04, 2009 5:06 am UTC

Old news as ST pointed out, but Cookie still eats Cookies. He just follows the food pyramid a little more closely now.

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Re: shocking news about cookie monster.

Postby Megatriorchis » Wed Mar 04, 2009 6:58 am UTC

They should change his name to Food Monster.
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Re: shocking news about cookie monster.

Postby smw543 » Wed Mar 04, 2009 7:32 am UTC

[tune]C is for... carrot?[/tune]

But seriously, how big of a rock could you have been living under to not have heard about this? The times, they are a-changin'.
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Re: shocking news about cookie monster.

Postby Clumpy » Wed Mar 04, 2009 7:48 am UTC

Now Cookie demonstrates the health benefits of fruit by eating a whole freaking bowl, peels and all. Good he's not diabetic. . .

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Re: shocking news about cookie monster.

Postby SecondTalon » Thu Mar 05, 2009 12:03 am UTC

Peels? Er.. outside of citrus and melons, what don't you eat the skins of?

And some people eat those.
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Re: shocking news about cookie monster.

Postby steewi » Thu Mar 05, 2009 1:10 am UTC

SecondTalon wrote:Peels? Er.. outside of citrus and melons, what don't you eat the skins of?

And some people eat those.


Banana, pineapple, ...

Cookie monster can keep eating cookies. He just has to follow up by being obese and living off insulin injection.

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Re: shocking news about cookie monster.

Postby Brooklynxman » Thu Mar 05, 2009 1:39 am UTC

I saw cookie monster on the Colbert Report. He was saying the lines they told him too, because he was scared. They already gave it to him up the rear end, he doesnt want them to do it again.

Those bastards will die slow deaths, then burn in hell. Cookie monster, you aren't human. You don't need the same nutrition we do. Don't you see, they are killing you off. Without the proper amount of cookies per day you'll eventually get sick and die.

*weeps for cookie monster*

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Re: shocking news about cookie monster.

Postby Clumpy » Thu Mar 05, 2009 4:50 am UTC

SecondTalon wrote:Peels? Er.. outside of citrus and melons, what don't you eat the skins of?


Bananas register very prominently in my mind when I imagine fruit. Cookie basically smashes his face into the bowl and gorges away, the same way he does with cookies.

Still, with Cookie's messed-up brother Heroin Monster still running around, he's still a comparative role model.

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Re: shocking news about cookie monster.

Postby smw543 » Thu Mar 05, 2009 9:32 am UTC

I really think Sesame Street missed out on a great opportunity for a Very Special Episode. Picture this:
Spoiler:
Big Bird and crew confront Cookie Monster about his poor dietary choices in a sort of G-rated intervention. His eyes beginning to water, Cookie Monster promises to change his destructive eating habits; everybody hugs him and cries.

[Cut to several minutes later; everyone has left, except Big Bird.] The Big B assures Cookie Monster that he'll always be there to help if the cravings get too strong and he thinks he might have a relapse, or even if he just needs someone to talk too.

[Exit Big Bird, Stage Left.] Cookie Monster picks up his "C Is For Cookie" platinum album and drops it in the trash. He walks away, symbolically turning his back on his dark past.

[Title Card: "Three Days Later". Close-up of an empty plate with cookie crumbs on it. Cue: That *dun dun dun* noise. You know the one I mean.] Cookie Monster breaks down in tears, realizing he is no match for his addiction. Through internal monologue, he considers the consequences of what he's done, and his drug-addled mind gradually reaches the conclusion that the first step to rectifying the situation is to undo what he has done. With a final sniffle, Cookie Monster stops crying and puts on a resolute face. With firm, purposeful steps, he walks to the bathroom and closes the door. [Cue: Sad music; an instrumental piece, probably something on the piano or violin. Vomiting sounds are audible over the music.]

[Title Card: "Two Months Later".] Big Bird and Cookie Monster are eating a bowl of apples (peels and all,) when Big Bird notices the acid burns on Cookie Monster's tongue from vomiting several times a day. He confronts Cookie Monster, who, after a brief attempt at making up an excuse, knows he is busted. He gives a tearful confession and begs Big Bird not to give up on him. Big Bird gives a warm smile and tells Cookie Monster that when he said he'd always be there for him he meant it. Big Bird embraces him, and he buries his head in Big Bird's shoulder. Speaking softly, Big Bird comforts him, pointing out that if they could make it through Bert and Ernie coming out of the closet, they could make it through anything.

[Cue: More music; something sorrowful but with a touch of hope. I'm thinking of a Bob Dylan song, but I can't remember the name.]

[Fade to black.]

Voice over: Today's episode is brought to you by the letter B. B is for Bulimia Nervosa.
(Although I am legally barred by court order from writing Sesame Street fanfiction, the anonymity of the internet should protect me.)
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Re: shocking news about cookie monster.

Postby spent » Fri Mar 06, 2009 5:09 am UTC

I remember being SO annoyed as a child.. that the cookie monster would just make a colossal mess, but he would never actually EAT the damn cookies!!! Was I the only one??

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Re: shocking news about cookie monster.

Postby Mr. Lostman » Fri Mar 06, 2009 5:22 am UTC

spent wrote:I remember being SO annoyed as a child.. that the cookie monster would just make a colossal mess, but he would never actually EAT the damn cookies!!! Was I the only one??

No.
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Re: shocking news about cookie monster.

Postby el_loco_avs » Fri Mar 06, 2009 12:58 pm UTC

That's why it's fine kids. Just chew it and spit it out! just like cookie monster!
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Re: shocking news about cookie monster.

Postby Jebobek » Fri Mar 06, 2009 1:33 pm UTC

I agree, I always thought it was funny that they made cookie monster without a hole in his mouth, so that he can't really "eat" anything, just mash it up and drop it off the edge of the table. Its like some sort of sick joke!

Seriously, though. "C" is for Cookie, and thats good enough for me.
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Re: shocking news about cookie monster.

Postby Clumpy » Sat Mar 07, 2009 3:53 am UTC

Jebobek wrote:I agree, I always thought it was funny that they made cookie monster without a hole in his mouth, so that he can't really "eat" anything, just mash it up and drop it off the edge of the table. Its like some sort of sick joke!

Seriously, though. "C" is for Cookie, and thats good enough for me.


A creepy hand reaching out of Cookie's mouth to snatch up cookies would have been traumatizing to children. What were those cookies made of? They splintered way too easily.

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Re: shocking news about cookie monster.

Postby smw543 » Sat Mar 07, 2009 5:01 am UTC

Clumpy wrote:What were those cookies made of? They splintered way too easily.
Asbestos.
Spoiler:
LE4dGOLEM wrote:Now you know the difference between funny and sad.
Ubik wrote:But I'm too fond of the penis to let it go.
gmalivuk wrote:If you didn't want people to 'mis'understand you, then you probably should have tried saying something less stupid.

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Re: shocking news about cookie monster.

Postby Jorpho » Sat Mar 07, 2009 7:09 am UTC

I know what this thread is missing.

Spoiler:
"C" is for Cookie can be regarded as a case study in persuasive oratory, emphasizing the emotional aspect of public speaking. Cookie Monster builds excitement by answering his opening rhetorical question, "Now what starts with the letter C?" with the obvious reply, "Cookie starts with C!" He then challenges the audience, "Let's think of other things that starts with C," before quickly replying, "Oh, who cares about the other things?" casually dismissing a whole range of other possibilities as irrelevant. Thus, having ostensibly come for the purpose of covering the letter C in its entirety, Cookie Monster has already focused his agenda exclusively on cookies, employing the classic bait and switch tactic.

Several times in his presentation, Cookie Monster emphasizes what appears to be the central thesis of his remarks: "C is for cookie, that's good enough for me!" The appealing rhythm of this slogan appears designed to entrance listeners, swaying their emotions and making them instinctively want to chant along with him. After rousing the crowd, Cookie Monster systematically lays out the logical underpinnings of his pro-cookie ideology, comparing cookies to round donuts with one bite out of them and to the moon during its crescent phase, in essence using a straw man argument that implies his opponents would advocate the superiority of these competitors over cookies. In this sense, Cookie Monster may be proposing a false dichotomy representing cookies as the only viable choice to a group of obviously inferior alternatives.

But before the audience has a chance to catch on, Cookie Monster launches into another round of repetitive chanting, "C is for cookie, that's good enough for me, yeah!" as young children sing along. Here, Cookie Monster uses a propaganda technique strikingly similar to that employed in George Orwell's Animal Farm by the pig Napoleon, who trained the farm's sheep to bleat, "Four legs good, two legs bad" on his cue.

Cookie Monster then adds visual stimulation to his discourse by chomping into a large cookie, concluding his remarks with "Umm-umm-umm-umm-umm" and other chewing sounds.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Best_of_BJAODN#From_C_is_for_Cookie

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Re: shocking news about cookie monster.

Postby william » Sun Mar 08, 2009 5:04 am UTC

This thread is not complete without mention of this.
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