The worst film you've seen

Rot your brains, then rot our boards

Moderators: SecondTalon, Moderators General, Prelates

User avatar
Jorpho
Posts: 6185
Joined: Wed Dec 12, 2007 5:31 am UTC
Location: Canada

Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Jorpho » Sun Mar 09, 2014 6:00 am UTC

There really is no point in going to see Sharknado, except if you ever had an inclination to go see something like Sharknado, you wouldn't let someone telling you there is no point in going to see Sharknado stop you from going to see Sharknado.

The movie theatre did show the trailer for this thing called Fateful Findings beforehand, though, with which I was previously unfamiliar – apparently it only came out last year. Just look at this. LOOK AT THIS.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aFgQ34b96_U

User avatar
serutan
Posts: 93
Joined: Mon May 17, 2010 2:18 pm UTC
Location: Baja Arizona

Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby serutan » Sun Aug 17, 2014 2:58 am UTC

Siesta, an indie film with (IIRC) Martin Sheen as the 'big name'. The person who brought it to our get together trumpeted it as
a 'woman's movie'. Unfortunately what it was was something that did not appear to have any point or anything interesting whatsoever,
and the only way the rest of us got through it was to go into MST3K mode (much to the consternation of the person who brought it).
For a sentient herbivore, discretion is the only part of valor. - Larry Niven

User avatar
You, sir, name?
Posts: 6983
Joined: Sun Apr 22, 2007 10:07 am UTC
Location: Chako Paul City
Contact:

Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby You, sir, name? » Fri Oct 02, 2015 6:07 pm UTC

I saw Retrograde last night.

Let me put it this way, Dolph Lundren (portraying the protagonist), was one of the better actors. In fact, I think this entire production was beneath him.

Editing was some of the worst I've seen outside of amateur cinema, the fights were about as exciting as Captain Kirk vs The Gorn, the plot was fairly forgettable and dealt with Dolph travelling through time to stop the space plague from killing everyone, while wearing a space uniform that was clearly just a motorcycle suit with some emblems added to it.

I don't mind doing what you can with limited resources (e.g. wakaliwood movies), or having fun with a cheesy concept (e.g. sharknado), what sets retrograde apart from those types of films is how incredibly half-assed everything is.
I edit my posts a lot and sometimes the words wrong order words appear in sentences get messed up.

commodorejohn
Posts: 1058
Joined: Thu Dec 10, 2009 6:21 pm UTC
Location: Placerville, CA
Contact:

Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby commodorejohn » Fri Oct 02, 2015 7:25 pm UTC

Bayformers 2. For all the millions of dollars spent on it and all the CGI and whatnot, I could have exactly recreated the experience of watching it by sitting in a running paint-shaker for two and a half hours while a bunch of extremely odious people scream at me from outside. I've seen a lot of crap in my time (being an MST3K fan, it's kind of inevitable,) but I can't think of another movie that made me so acutely ashamed to be a part of the same species as its creators.
"'Legacy code' often differs from its suggested alternative by actually working and scaling."
- Bjarne Stroustrup
www.commodorejohn.com - in case you were wondering, which you probably weren't.

Bikrammajithia
Posts: 2
Joined: Thu Oct 08, 2015 7:43 am UTC

Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Bikrammajithia » Thu Oct 08, 2015 8:00 am UTC

The Worst film i have seen was inglorious bastards.

User avatar
emceng
Posts: 3145
Joined: Mon May 19, 2008 9:38 pm UTC
Location: State of Hockey
Contact:

Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby emceng » Wed Oct 14, 2015 5:35 pm UTC

Recently - big budget I saw Twilight 2. Man, that was bad. I can see what they were trying to do, cramming like a year long book into 2 hours, but they failed. Plot didn't really make any damned sense, none of the characters did anything interesting or logical, and the point was a love story, except the guy had about 5 minutes of screen time.

As for truly terrible, not even D-level movie- RollerGator. Bad acting. Sets and wardrobe looked like they just told the actors to show up someplace. Sound was terrible- loud guitar the whole movie, plus wind noise, inaudible dialogue, etc. Wasn't shaky cam, but still really bad camera work. It was, without a doubt, the worst made movie I've ever seen.
When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up. - CS Lewis

User avatar
Mighty Jalapeno
Inne Juste 7 Dayes I Wille Make You A Hero!
Posts: 11262
Joined: Mon May 07, 2007 9:16 pm UTC
Location: Prince George In A Can
Contact:

Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Mighty Jalapeno » Wed Oct 14, 2015 5:48 pm UTC

Bikrammajithia wrote:The Worst film i have seen was inglorious bastards.

I agree. Inglorious Basterds was far superior.

The Mighty Thesaurus
In your library, eating your students
Posts: 4399
Joined: Wed Apr 11, 2007 7:47 am UTC
Location: The Daily Bugle

Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby The Mighty Thesaurus » Wed Oct 14, 2015 6:40 pm UTC

Everyone knows that your personal favourite, dear reader, is literally the worst film ever made.
LE4dGOLEM wrote:your ability to tell things from things remains one of your skills.
Weeks wrote:Not only can you tell things from things, you can recognize when a thing is a thing

Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam

User avatar
Thesh
Made to Fuck Dinosaurs
Posts: 5896
Joined: Tue Jan 12, 2010 1:55 am UTC
Location: Colorado

Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Thesh » Thu Oct 15, 2015 8:24 am UTC

Mighty Jalapeno wrote:
Bikrammajithia wrote:The Worst film i have seen was inglorious bastards.

I agree. Inglorious Basterds was far superior.

But it's still no Inglourious Basterds.
Summum ius, summa iniuria.


User avatar
applepi
Posts: 19
Joined: Sat Oct 17, 2015 2:30 am UTC

Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby applepi » Sun Oct 18, 2015 8:48 pm UTC

Normally? I'm the type of person who gets a kick out of bad movies. I live for films like Karate Dog, Kangaroo Jack, Digimon Movie, Birdemic, Birdemic 2, etc... But this movie. THIS MOVIE takes it too far.

Evita, the musical tale of Eva Peron, starring Madonna.

I honestly couldn't tell if the movie was trying to make a mock of Eva Peron, or if it was serious. Either way? Grueling. I had to give up at around the hour and fifteen minute mark.

User avatar
poxic
Eloquently Prismatic
Posts: 4688
Joined: Sat Jun 07, 2008 3:28 am UTC
Location: Left coast of Canada

Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby poxic » Sun Oct 18, 2015 9:00 pm UTC

When I saw it in the theatre (yes, that long ago) it struck me as a decent production of a moderately interesting musical. Madonna isn't an actress, though, and that was a glaring misstep.
TEAM SHIVAHN
Pretty much the best team ever

And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
- Anais Nin, writer (21 Feb 1903-1977)

User avatar
applepi
Posts: 19
Joined: Sat Oct 17, 2015 2:30 am UTC

Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby applepi » Mon Oct 19, 2015 2:07 am UTC

If you decide to give it a rewatch, let me know. I actually had no idea it'd be a musical, so maybe I went in with the wrong mindset? It just really rubbed me the wrong way.

I'd elaborate, but I feel like I'd need to rewatch the movie (and finish it this time) to be more accurate. I don't remember that much about the movie, I just remember really not liking it.

User avatar
poxic
Eloquently Prismatic
Posts: 4688
Joined: Sat Jun 07, 2008 3:28 am UTC
Location: Left coast of Canada

Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby poxic » Mon Oct 19, 2015 2:35 am UTC

I saw the film with someone who thought it was fantastic. The next day at work, someone else was ranting about how terrible it was - long, boring, and awful. So yeah, everyone's mmv.
TEAM SHIVAHN
Pretty much the best team ever

And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
- Anais Nin, writer (21 Feb 1903-1977)

User avatar
You, sir, name?
Posts: 6983
Joined: Sun Apr 22, 2007 10:07 am UTC
Location: Chako Paul City
Contact:

Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby You, sir, name? » Mon Jan 25, 2016 6:21 pm UTC

You, sir, name? wrote:I saw Retrograde last night.

Let me put it this way, Dolph Lundren (portraying the protagonist), was one of the better actors. In fact, I think this entire production was beneath him.

Editing was some of the worst I've seen outside of amateur cinema, the fights were about as exciting as Captain Kirk vs The Gorn, the plot was fairly forgettable and dealt with Dolph travelling through time to stop the space plague from killing everyone, while wearing a space uniform that was clearly just a motorcycle suit with some emblems added to it.

I don't mind doing what you can with limited resources (e.g. wakaliwood movies), or having fun with a cheesy concept (e.g. sharknado), what sets retrograde apart from those types of films is how incredibly half-assed everything is.


Ok, this is still the worst --^, but I watched another really bad one last night.

Streets of Blood, featuring Val Kilmer and 50 Cent as corrupt cops in a corrupt police department fighting corrupt drug dealers in a corrupt New Orleans after the corrupt Hurricane Katrina. Imagine The Wire, with seriously sub-par writing, no plot structure to speak of, and completely unsympathetic characters.

To wrap up the film, the writer killed every character but Val Kilmer and his therapist, and Val Kilmer walked off broodingly into the distance.
I edit my posts a lot and sometimes the words wrong order words appear in sentences get messed up.

Tyndmyr
Posts: 10636
Joined: Wed Jul 25, 2012 8:38 pm UTC

Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Tyndmyr » Tue Feb 02, 2016 9:02 pm UTC

Fan4stick was pretty awful.

User avatar
Dason
Posts: 1309
Joined: Wed Dec 02, 2009 7:06 am UTC
Location: ~/

Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Dason » Fri Feb 05, 2016 12:38 am UTC

You, sir, name? wrote:
You, sir, name? wrote:Streets of Blood, featuring Val Kilmer and 50 Cent as corrupt cops in a corrupt police department fighting corrupt drug dealers in a corrupt New Orleans after the corrupt Hurricane Katrina. Imagine The Wire, with seriously sub-par writing, no plot structure to speak of, and completely unsympathetic characters.

To wrap up the film, the writer killed every character but Val Kilmer and his therapist, and Val Kilmer walked off broodingly into the distance.

I've never wanted to watch a movie more than I want to watch that one right now.
double epsilon = -.0000001;

User avatar
Mighty Jalapeno
Inne Juste 7 Dayes I Wille Make You A Hero!
Posts: 11262
Joined: Mon May 07, 2007 9:16 pm UTC
Location: Prince George In A Can
Contact:

Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Mighty Jalapeno » Fri Feb 05, 2016 4:10 pm UTC

Dason wrote:
You, sir, name? wrote:
You, sir, name? wrote:Streets of Blood, featuring Val Kilmer and 50 Cent as corrupt cops in a corrupt police department fighting corrupt drug dealers in a corrupt New Orleans after the corrupt Hurricane Katrina. Imagine The Wire, with seriously sub-par writing, no plot structure to speak of, and completely unsympathetic characters.

To wrap up the film, the writer killed every character but Val Kilmer and his therapist, and Val Kilmer walked off broodingly into the distance.

I've never wanted to watch a movie more than I want to watch that one right now.

I'm Netflixing it tomorrow. :D

Arran
Posts: 5
Joined: Fri Feb 19, 2016 5:02 pm UTC

Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Arran » Thu Feb 25, 2016 4:42 pm UTC

Gummo. It enraged me.

peteradolph
Posts: 1
Joined: Mon Aug 15, 2016 7:28 am UTC

Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby peteradolph » Thu Aug 18, 2016 5:20 am UTC

the_bandersnatch wrote:What's wrong with you people? In this thread people have denounced The Big Lebowski, The Prestige and The Fountain, three fooking great movies. Bah, there's no hope for you all.


I second that! Why would people not like those movies :shock: I loved watching them. I was disappointed with whole Harry potter series :D I prefer Narnia series anytime, anyday...waiting for part 4 of it.

User avatar
cyanyoshi
Posts: 378
Joined: Thu Sep 23, 2010 3:30 am UTC

Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby cyanyoshi » Wed Aug 31, 2016 1:14 am UTC

Thunderpants is a solid contender. This movie killed all traces of humor from fart jokes forever. But you know what? I was actually able to watch it all the way through. Epic Movie is just so rotten to the core that I just couldn't finish it. So yeah, Epic Movie is the worst.

User avatar
Flumble
Yes Man
Posts: 1993
Joined: Sun Aug 05, 2012 9:35 pm UTC

Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Flumble » Wed Aug 31, 2016 11:41 am UTC

cyanyoshi wrote:Thunderpants is a solid contender. This movie killed all traces of humor from fart jokes forever.

You're kidding, right? Not only did it evolve farts to a level beyond your wildest imagination, it was also really grim at some points (the bullying, not a great family, and even a firing squad), it showed that some disabilities shouldn't deter you from following your dreams (the guy's a bloody astronaut by the end of the film) and it killed your appreciation for fart jokes! So in conclusion, apart from an illogical story and flat characters, it's a great film.
I might be a bit biased because I saw it as a wee little boy who was still in the pee-and-poo humour phase. But still, it's hard to argue that it's a particularly bad film, let alone the worst you've ever seen. (unless, of course, if you've only ever seen Thunderpants and Forrest Gump)

Epic Movie is an epic failure though. Even then, it's enjoyable when you're hitting puberty and it's late at night. I also got a summary of all those films I never watched. :P

User avatar
MooseBeer
Posts: 6
Joined: Mon Sep 05, 2016 5:10 pm UTC

Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby MooseBeer » Fri Sep 30, 2016 12:41 pm UTC

Blair Witch Project.

Ridiculous. I left the cinema cursing.

User avatar
Jorpho
Posts: 6185
Joined: Wed Dec 12, 2007 5:31 am UTC
Location: Canada

Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Jorpho » Fri Oct 07, 2016 8:50 pm UTC

I see Phantasm is back in the news, with both a Remastered version and a fourth Kickstarted sequel.

I guess it's not necessarily a terrible movie – it has a distinctive vision, which is a whole lot more than a lot of other terrible movies can say. But it was quite mindblowing when I realized the strength of its following after the first time I saw it.

User avatar
EdgarJPublius
Official Propagandi.... Nifty Poster Guy
Posts: 3611
Joined: Tue Oct 09, 2007 4:56 am UTC
Location: where the wind takes me

Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby EdgarJPublius » Sat Oct 08, 2016 5:16 am UTC

I remember quite liking Evita when I saw it 15+ years ago. It's possible or even likely that it's primarily the music I remember fondly though.

As far as worst film I've seen... I dunno. I've seen some really bad, like sub-c-grade not-even-good-enough for MST3K stuff and probably some life-tme-original-movie style made-for-tv stuff that was complete shit. There's also some edutain-ment and 'movie-with-a-message' type stuff I had on VHS as a kid that would probably be extremely cringeworthy to me now, But the one film which stands out in my memory as the worst film experience I've ever had is being forced to see The Rugrats Movie in theaters with my younger brother.
Probably it was the 'forced to see it with my younger brother' part that really made it seem horrible.

Other than that, bad movies just don't seem to stick in my memory. I'm pretty sure I've seen at least two of the Michael Bay transformer movies, but I can't remember any details or even impressions that I might have had of them, I know I saw the Dungeons and Dragons movie in theaters, but I didn't even remember Bruce Payne's blue lipstick until I looked up that movie on IMDB just now.
Roosevelt wrote:
I wrote:Does Space Teddy Roosevelt wrestle Space Bears and fight the Space Spanish-American War with his band of Space-volunteers the Space Rough Riders?

Yes.

-still unaware of the origin and meaning of his own user-title

commodorejohn
Posts: 1058
Joined: Thu Dec 10, 2009 6:21 pm UTC
Location: Placerville, CA
Contact:

Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby commodorejohn » Sat Oct 08, 2016 7:56 am UTC

Hee hee, oh, the Dungeons & Dragons movie is gloriously bad. Jeremy Irons basically transcends his mortal existence and becomes the earthly avatar of the God of Ham. It's also this perfect time-capsule of the state of fantasy filmmaking post-The Phantom Menace and pre-The Fellowship Of The Ring.
"'Legacy code' often differs from its suggested alternative by actually working and scaling."
- Bjarne Stroustrup
www.commodorejohn.com - in case you were wondering, which you probably weren't.

User avatar
Grop
Posts: 1916
Joined: Mon Oct 06, 2008 10:36 am UTC
Location: France

Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Grop » Sat Oct 08, 2016 8:47 am UTC

Do you mean that as a sort of reason for the movie being so bad?

commodorejohn
Posts: 1058
Joined: Thu Dec 10, 2009 6:21 pm UTC
Location: Placerville, CA
Contact:

Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby commodorejohn » Sat Oct 08, 2016 7:15 pm UTC

Grop wrote:Do you mean that as a sort of reason for the movie being so bad?

Yes and no. It combines a lot of the worst aspects of crap fantasy pre-Jackson's LOTR (addiction to tone-deaf "comedy," bad attempts to be "hip" with the primary comic-relief character, primary antagonist in black armor and a Darth Vader cape) with some fresh spins of gawdawfulness taken from Episode I (tedious, incomprehensible political machinations, "chosen one" main character hogging the spotlight, gratuitous CGI - which in this case looks like it came out of a 1990 3D Studio demo - where practical effects would be at least as convincing.) On the other hand, it does have some virtues which have almost disappeared since (particularly, while it's far too over-broad and tongue-in-cheek for its own good, it is pretty refreshing to see "epic" fantasy with a lighter, swashbuckly tone, that doesn't take itself so goddamn seriously all the time.) Just kind of fascinating.
"'Legacy code' often differs from its suggested alternative by actually working and scaling."
- Bjarne Stroustrup
www.commodorejohn.com - in case you were wondering, which you probably weren't.

User avatar
freezeblade
Posts: 1231
Joined: Fri Aug 24, 2012 5:11 pm UTC
Location: Oakland

Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby freezeblade » Mon Dec 11, 2017 10:52 pm UTC

Ok, so in preparation for watching "The Disaster Artist" I watched "The Room" again with the wife, who had never seen it before. She has dubbed it the worst film she has ever seen, and I fully admit to not being able to stomach it again sober (thus watched it very un-sober).

We have been watching the excellent netflix show "mindhunter," and this context, combined with my state of mind, produced the following head-canon and personal theory for the horribleness/strangeness of "The Room." (spoilered for long-winded. I tried to find somewhere else to put this theory, but I couldn't find a more appropriate thread (the Room had been discussed here the most of any other thread in the fora as far as I can tell)
Spoiler:
Background: This all began with Mindhunter, which if you don't know, follows an FBI team in the 70s-80s as it grapples with what it means to be a sociopath, and it's implications, motivation, and how they interact with society (good or bad, and especially as it relates to serial killers). Part of this is describing how sociopaths have a hard time (or just cannot) understand typical "social interaction" or motivation in the same way as most members of society, mainly emulating what they see as "polite interaction" it to get or integrate with society. Musing on the strange dialog and interactions in this movie led to the conclusion that the actor/director/writer may in fact be one of these people.

Combine this with the strangeness of the secretive director's background, the huge funding, and the theory that this movie is all a big money-laundering scheme, and you get the following theory (which is likely not true, but is my own personal headcanon):

TW moved to San Fransisco (been shown on publicly available documents) where he worked many odd jobs, and ended up running a business in the tourist zone (fisherman's wharf) selling jackets and Levi's irregular jeans (again, public knowledge). This business was a front for some form of illicit business, which made plenty of money that needed to eventually be laundered. Somewhere around here, TW came in a close brush with death (car accident, reported by the actor who played "Mark" in The Room), and decided he needed to "get out of the game." And he begin taking acting workshops (This is where he met Mark).

At this point, either TW, or some "organization" he knew realized that the movie industry is a huge money-pit, small indie movies especially, and is a possible vehicle for money laundering. TW sets out to make a movie for the purpose of making a flop as cheaply as possible, yet inexplicably spends an inordinate amount of money to produce (using self or associate-owned subcontractor shell companies as much as possible):

- Self-written script (no hiring outside writers)
- Shoot on a cheap, purpose-built set instead of on location. Set is rented for far above market value, built by another subcontractor (again, built cheaply as possible, but paid lots of money on paper)
- Buy all equipment instead of renting (Easier to cover up that equipment was bought for far more money that it was worth)
- Spend as little other money as possible (no-name actors or friends, no craft services*, make actors provide their own clothes**, etc.)
- Put only a token effort to promotion (One billboard was run, and initially film only showed for two weeks at a few theaters in Southern California)

As for the movie/scrip weirdness itself, this can be explained by the previously mentioned mental state of the writer/director/actor. TW seems to have based the script partially off of personal experience, which was edited, embellished, and translated though his understanding of the people and society around him. The main character is written in a way that the writer extrapolates an upstanding American upper middle class citizen would behave (Throwing a football around constantly, work at a bank, being a favorite customer to local businesses, meet in coffee shops to talk with friends, paying school tuition for Denny)

Laura is possibly based on an ex, who possibly cheated on TW, or someone he knew. As the writer cannot properly prescribe meaning or motive to others, his perception is that Laura just becomes an evil succubus. The character of Mark is very similar in his role-reversal, from professed "best friend" to an uncaring person who just wants to get his rocks off, and only becomes more ok with the situation as the movie progresses. To the writer there is no grey area of complication or emotion, only "good" and "evil/bad." This is because the writer does not understand other's emotions, motives, or loyalty dynamics.

The dialog is stilted and awkward, lacking what most would call logical conversation flow. The writer knows where these conversations should end up (to coincide with pre-determined plot points, such as asking about Mark's sex life, Lisa's mother's cancer, the "interesting story" of how Johnny and Lisa met, or the flower shop scene), but has no idea how the typical person would approach these subjects, as he does not understand the flow of conversation, or the emotion/motives in the "lead up" parts. Along these same lines, TW knows that people "show emotions" due to seeing them do so in movies/other media. Even the the possibly most emotion-filled moment in The Room is an example case; the "You're tearing me apart Lisa!" line, is actually TW doing an impression of James Dean from "Rebel Without A Cause." TW does not understand these expressed emotions, but parrots sayings such as "it will be alright" and "oh hi [name]" as his as seen these as socially acceptable conversation points.

Now that TW has left the game (and now legitimately independently wealthy), he now has all the free time in the world to do such stunts and showing up to nearly every major showing of The Room to answer questions and see his fans.

I admit that parts are relatively conspiracy-theory-ish but to my substance-fueled mind, made perfect sense, and I still think it does!

*Craft Services is listed as some form of fast food in the credits
**Anecdote about the actor playing the Drug Dealer getting yelled at by TW for requesting replacements for his damaged shoes. TW had required that the actor provide his own shoes for the scene.


Please move if there's a better spot for this musing, or let me know and I'll edit the spoiler out and re-post in the proper location.
Belial wrote:I am not even in the same country code as "the mood for this shit."

User avatar
Ginger
Posts: 1029
Joined: Thu Sep 04, 2008 10:00 am UTC

Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Ginger » Tue Dec 12, 2017 9:57 am UTC

The Happening by M. Night Shyamalan. I don't agree that plants would somehow develop ways to make humans kill themselves. Maybe if they were like that fungus that infests insects' brains and makes them die--Maybe. And the dialogue was so wooden. I didn't believe that the main characters were sweethearts at all. So a bad villain in the somehow sentient plants and bad dialogue combined with unbelievable characters made me hate that movie entirely. And I as well think Twilight had a terrible take on vampires, Edward watching Bella sleep was super-creepy and the villain vampire family in there was just boring to me. Like totally a yawn fest! :P
Amy Lee wrote:Just what we all need... more lies about a world that never was and never will be.


Azula to Long Feng wrote:Don't flatter yourself, you were never even a player.

User avatar
SecondTalon
SexyTalon
Posts: 25969
Joined: Sat May 05, 2007 2:10 pm UTC
Location: Louisville, Kentucky, USA, Mars. HA!
Contact:

Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby SecondTalon » Wed Dec 13, 2017 2:20 pm UTC

freezeblade wrote:Ok, so in preparation for watching "The Disaster Artist" I watched "The Room" again with the wife, who had never seen it before. She has dubbed it the worst film she has ever seen, and I fully admit to not being able to stomach it again sober (thus watched it very un-sober).

We have been watching the excellent netflix show "mindhunter," and this context, combined with my state of mind, produced the following head-canon and personal theory for the horribleness/strangeness of "The Room." (spoilered for long-winded. I tried to find somewhere else to put this theory, but I couldn't find a more appropriate thread (the Room had been discussed here the most of any other thread in the fora as far as I can tell)
Spoiler:
Background: This all began with Mindhunter, which if you don't know, follows an FBI team in the 70s-80s as it grapples with what it means to be a sociopath, and it's implications, motivation, and how they interact with society (good or bad, and especially as it relates to serial killers). Part of this is describing how sociopaths have a hard time (or just cannot) understand typical "social interaction" or motivation in the same way as most members of society, mainly emulating what they see as "polite interaction" it to get or integrate with society. Musing on the strange dialog and interactions in this movie led to the conclusion that the actor/director/writer may in fact be one of these people.

Combine this with the strangeness of the secretive director's background, the huge funding, and the theory that this movie is all a big money-laundering scheme, and you get the following theory (which is likely not true, but is my own personal headcanon):

TW moved to San Fransisco (been shown on publicly available documents) where he worked many odd jobs, and ended up running a business in the tourist zone (fisherman's wharf) selling jackets and Levi's irregular jeans (again, public knowledge). This business was a front for some form of illicit business, which made plenty of money that needed to eventually be laundered. Somewhere around here, TW came in a close brush with death (car accident, reported by the actor who played "Mark" in The Room), and decided he needed to "get out of the game." And he begin taking acting workshops (This is where he met Mark).

At this point, either TW, or some "organization" he knew realized that the movie industry is a huge money-pit, small indie movies especially, and is a possible vehicle for money laundering. TW sets out to make a movie for the purpose of making a flop as cheaply as possible, yet inexplicably spends an inordinate amount of money to produce (using self or associate-owned subcontractor shell companies as much as possible):

- Self-written script (no hiring outside writers)
- Shoot on a cheap, purpose-built set instead of on location. Set is rented for far above market value, built by another subcontractor (again, built cheaply as possible, but paid lots of money on paper)
- Buy all equipment instead of renting (Easier to cover up that equipment was bought for far more money that it was worth)
- Spend as little other money as possible (no-name actors or friends, no craft services*, make actors provide their own clothes**, etc.)
- Put only a token effort to promotion (One billboard was run, and initially film only showed for two weeks at a few theaters in Southern California)

As for the movie/scrip weirdness itself, this can be explained by the previously mentioned mental state of the writer/director/actor. TW seems to have based the script partially off of personal experience, which was edited, embellished, and translated though his understanding of the people and society around him. The main character is written in a way that the writer extrapolates an upstanding American upper middle class citizen would behave (Throwing a football around constantly, work at a bank, being a favorite customer to local businesses, meet in coffee shops to talk with friends, paying school tuition for Denny)

Laura is possibly based on an ex, who possibly cheated on TW, or someone he knew. As the writer cannot properly prescribe meaning or motive to others, his perception is that Laura just becomes an evil succubus. The character of Mark is very similar in his role-reversal, from professed "best friend" to an uncaring person who just wants to get his rocks off, and only becomes more ok with the situation as the movie progresses. To the writer there is no grey area of complication or emotion, only "good" and "evil/bad." This is because the writer does not understand other's emotions, motives, or loyalty dynamics.

The dialog is stilted and awkward, lacking what most would call logical conversation flow. The writer knows where these conversations should end up (to coincide with pre-determined plot points, such as asking about Mark's sex life, Lisa's mother's cancer, the "interesting story" of how Johnny and Lisa met, or the flower shop scene), but has no idea how the typical person would approach these subjects, as he does not understand the flow of conversation, or the emotion/motives in the "lead up" parts. Along these same lines, TW knows that people "show emotions" due to seeing them do so in movies/other media. Even the the possibly most emotion-filled moment in The Room is an example case; the "You're tearing me apart Lisa!" line, is actually TW doing an impression of James Dean from "Rebel Without A Cause." TW does not understand these expressed emotions, but parrots sayings such as "it will be alright" and "oh hi [name]" as his as seen these as socially acceptable conversation points.

Now that TW has left the game (and now legitimately independently wealthy), he now has all the free time in the world to do such stunts and showing up to nearly every major showing of The Room to answer questions and see his fans.

I admit that parts are relatively conspiracy-theory-ish but to my substance-fueled mind, made perfect sense, and I still think it does!

*Craft Services is listed as some form of fast food in the credits
**Anecdote about the actor playing the Drug Dealer getting yelled at by TW for requesting replacements for his damaged shoes. TW had required that the actor provide his own shoes for the scene.


Please move if there's a better spot for this musing, or let me know and I'll edit the spoiler out and re-post in the proper location.


Most sub forums develop their own Fleeting Thoughts thread for things that someone wants to say but either can't find a place or doesn't think it's worth it's own thread.

I think we found the OP for the Movie and TV FT Thread.
heuristically_alone wrote:I want to write a DnD campaign and play it by myself and DM it myself.
heuristically_alone wrote:I have been informed that this is called writing a book.

Tyndmyr
Posts: 10636
Joined: Wed Jul 25, 2012 8:38 pm UTC

Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Tyndmyr » Mon Dec 18, 2017 4:28 pm UTC

Ginger wrote:The Happening by M. Night Shyamalan. I don't agree that plants would somehow develop ways to make humans kill themselves. Maybe if they were like that fungus that infests insects' brains and makes them die--Maybe. And the dialogue was so wooden. I didn't believe that the main characters were sweethearts at all. So a bad villain in the somehow sentient plants and bad dialogue combined with unbelievable characters made me hate that movie entirely.


My favorite character seen in that movie is the boom mike.

User avatar
Bloopy
Posts: 203
Joined: Wed May 04, 2011 9:16 am UTC
Location: New Zealand

Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Bloopy » Tue Dec 19, 2017 4:16 pm UTC

It's funny that Shyamalan's other work gets a lot of mentions, because my most hated is The Sixth Sense.

Maybe I could've appreciated it a bit as an adult instead of seeing it at about age 16, but it's too late. Seeing it a 2nd time is categorically ineffective, which makes it the antithesis to one's favourite media and gives it about the most undesirable characteristic any form of art could ever have (short of causing actual harm). Thing is, the 1st time didn't work for me either. To a teenage boy, it came across like a depressing "chick flick". I'd somehow managed to avoid spoilers at the time, only to have the film bore me to the point that I struggled to pay attention and was completely numb to the ending anyway. It's not as if it's not possible to make a film with a twist that can be enjoyed repeatedly. One film where the twist had been spoiled for me was Planet of the Apes, but the spectacle of the ending is so flooring that it gets you anyway.

It's understandable that some scenes like the one in the restaurant come across as unnatural. But I thought the character of Cole's mother was completely unnatural as well. I also absolutely loathe films that throw in just a couple of horror/gross-out moments. Regardless of whether you call it cultural appropriation, all it does is signal that the film is trying to score points in the horror genre while still being 'safe'. All the acclaim just makes me resent it more.

The only other of his I've seen is The Village, which is so unoriginal as to be fairly innocuous. Unless you count Devil, which he didn't direct but has his flavour: it's sort of ok I guess.

User avatar
Ginger
Posts: 1029
Joined: Thu Sep 04, 2008 10:00 am UTC

Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Ginger » Thu Dec 21, 2017 10:17 am UTC

M. Night Shyamalan's take on my favorite cartoon: Called The Last Airbender. They made two of the principle characters white when they had dark skin tones in the cartoon. They made the entire Fire Nation darker-skinned people. Indians (Not Native Americans I mean people from India) now populate the Fire Nation? They looked more Chinese or Japanese to me in the cartoon. They pronounced "Aang" weird. They made Azula a grown adult when she's supposed to be a teenager. They removed Zuko's Goddess damned defining burn scar but kept in the story about his father burning his face! Um, what? He doesn't have any visible burning there.

I could have redeemed M. Night if he had made number two. Azula was going to be chasing Aang then and she's really good at fighting like the entire group of heroes and heroines at once. I would have seen that movie. But it never got made and the original was terrible. :P
Amy Lee wrote:Just what we all need... more lies about a world that never was and never will be.


Azula to Long Feng wrote:Don't flatter yourself, you were never even a player.

User avatar
Grop
Posts: 1916
Joined: Mon Oct 06, 2008 10:36 am UTC
Location: France

Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Grop » Thu Dec 21, 2017 12:08 pm UTC

I haven't watched The Last Airbender; it came to my knowledge when I was an adult and it was apparently too dumb for my demographics (I did see a few episodes before deciding that). Making the fire people brown people is certainly a bad move (I think they are the villains in this story).

However, worst movie that you have seen? I suspect you just had very high expectations from the animated series.

User avatar
Ginger
Posts: 1029
Joined: Thu Sep 04, 2008 10:00 am UTC

Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Ginger » Thu Dec 21, 2017 12:46 pm UTC

By making the main characters white (some of them who had darker skin tones), the villains and villainesses a bunch of Indian people, changing ages and removing a boy's defining burn scar but leaving in the story about his face being burned? M. Night wasn't respecting the source material at all. It was like he was trying to make his version of the cartoon instead of an accurate movie about the cartoon. And he did a terrible-terrible job at it.
Amy Lee wrote:Just what we all need... more lies about a world that never was and never will be.


Azula to Long Feng wrote:Don't flatter yourself, you were never even a player.

User avatar
SecondTalon
SexyTalon
Posts: 25969
Joined: Sat May 05, 2007 2:10 pm UTC
Location: Louisville, Kentucky, USA, Mars. HA!
Contact:

Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby SecondTalon » Thu Dec 21, 2017 2:39 pm UTC

Grop wrote:I haven't watched The Last Airbender; it came to my knowledge when I was an adult and it was apparently too dumb for my demographics (I did see a few episodes before deciding that). Making the fire people brown people is certainly a bad move (I think they are the villains in this story).

However, worst movie that you have seen? I suspect you just had very high expectations from the animated series.

I watched the cartoon at 36. It's aimed at kids, sure, but it's a pretty good series overall.

Of course, having Mick Foley voice a one shot braggadocious "fighter" named The Boulder was just perfect.
heuristically_alone wrote:I want to write a DnD campaign and play it by myself and DM it myself.
heuristically_alone wrote:I have been informed that this is called writing a book.

User avatar
Grop
Posts: 1916
Joined: Mon Oct 06, 2008 10:36 am UTC
Location: France

Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Grop » Thu Dec 21, 2017 3:36 pm UTC

In retrospect, I shouldn't have suggested it was dumb (pardon). I just wasn't really interested and I couldn't stand the humor. Every joke felt like I had heard it before.

However it seemed very good, just not my thing.

User avatar
Zohar
COMMANDER PORN
Posts: 8024
Joined: Fri Apr 27, 2007 8:45 pm UTC
Location: Denver

Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby Zohar » Fri Dec 22, 2017 12:46 am UTC

Grop wrote:In retrospect, I shouldn't have suggested it was dumb (pardon). I just wasn't really interested and I couldn't stand the humor. Every joke felt like I had heard it before.

However it seemed very good, just not my thing.

Fair, and I agree that season one takes a bit of time to pick up and not have silliness in it. Seasons 2 and 3 just improve on it in every way, but I feel the first one still had a lot of gold there. But I understand not wanting to invest time in something everyone else tells you gets better later on. I'm looking at you, Game of Thrones and Lord of the Rings books.
Mighty Jalapeno: "See, Zohar agrees, and he's nice to people."
SecondTalon: "Still better looking than Jesus."

Not how I say my name

User avatar
CorruptUser
Posts: 9802
Joined: Fri Nov 06, 2009 10:12 pm UTC

Re: The worst film you've seen

Postby CorruptUser » Sat Dec 23, 2017 10:39 pm UTC

Wasn't Mako (Aku) a major character in that show?


Return to “Movies and TV Shows”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 7 guests