Movies which need to be, but which totally aren't

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Narsil
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Postby Narsil » Wed Aug 01, 2007 1:33 pm UTC

Dune.

Shut the fuck up, I know. Still, Dune.
Spoiler:
EsotericWombat wrote:MORE JUNK THAN YOUR BODY HAS ROOM FOR

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Postby MFHodge » Wed Aug 01, 2007 2:38 pm UTC

I would really like a Harry Potter mini-series. Something like 6 hours per book, as faithful renditions of the novels. Maybe even animated would be cool.

I think if the books are still popular in 20 years or so, this could actually happen.
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Narsil
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Postby Narsil » Wed Aug 01, 2007 2:39 pm UTC

That's brilliant.

You win.
Spoiler:
EsotericWombat wrote:MORE JUNK THAN YOUR BODY HAS ROOM FOR

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Postby Belial » Wed Aug 01, 2007 2:44 pm UTC

Most books should be miniseries, to be honest. Movies are generally too short.
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Postby Nyarlathotep » Wed Aug 01, 2007 3:41 pm UTC

Narsil wrote:Dune.

Shut the fuck up, I know. Still, Dune.


Agreed.
'Gehȳrst þū, sǣlida, hwæt þis folc segeð?
hī willað ēow tō gafole gāras syllan,
ǣttrynne ord and ealde swurd,
þā heregeatu þe ēow æt hilde ne dēah.

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Postby Hammer » Wed Aug 01, 2007 3:57 pm UTC

Narsil wrote:Dune.

Shut the fuck up, I know. Still, Dune.

I'd love to to see somebody successfully manage to do Dune.
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Narsil
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Postby Narsil » Wed Aug 01, 2007 5:07 pm UTC

PRO TIP:
Having an hour long history of the Atreides family at the beginning is not a good way to do this. We get it. They live in space. They are wealthy. Jessica is creepy. You do not need very long to get this across.

David Lynch, please kill yourself.
Spoiler:
EsotericWombat wrote:MORE JUNK THAN YOUR BODY HAS ROOM FOR

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Oh... that.

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Postby GMontag » Sat Aug 04, 2007 5:07 pm UTC

Alomax wrote:agreed, Asimov's Foundation series would make an excellent movie(s). Though some of the books might need to be split. And judging from the results of other attempts to adapt Asimov to the screen, I'd rather Hollywood not come near them with a 20ft pole. Bicentennial Man and I Robot can both suck my left nut. Half-decent in their own right, but are ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOTHING like the books, poor Issac is probably spinning in his grave </rant>


Please don't call I, Robot an Asimov movie. It was a bad script that they just grafted names from the book onto.

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Postby Narsil » Sat Aug 04, 2007 11:43 pm UTC

If I owned the DVD of I, Robot, I would cross out the words "I, Robot" and write "Men in Black III".

This would make it 10x better as a movie.
Spoiler:
EsotericWombat wrote:MORE JUNK THAN YOUR BODY HAS ROOM FOR

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Oh... that.

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Postby Castaway » Sun Aug 05, 2007 2:37 am UTC

You could just call it "Aw, hell no! vol. VIII"
They should do a modern rendition of The Great Gatsby, but only properly.
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Postby xooll » Sun Aug 05, 2007 2:40 am UTC

Castaway wrote:You could just call it "Aw, hell no! vol. VIII"
They should do a modern rendition of The Great Gatsby, but only properly.

Starring Will Smith!
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Postby Castaway » Sun Aug 05, 2007 2:41 am UTC

Now you're talking. Blaxploitation?! Amirite?
You've just lost twenty dollars and my self respect.



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Postby Malice » Sun Aug 05, 2007 5:13 am UTC

Castaway wrote:They should do a modern rendition of The Great Gatsby, but only properly.


If by modern rendition, you mean re-adapt the book, then cool.

If by modernize it, set the story today, then you're in luck!

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Postby semicolon » Sun Aug 05, 2007 7:42 am UTC

A short, animated film (hell, rotoscope it!) of the story Robbie would be amazing.

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Postby Castaway » Sun Aug 05, 2007 5:23 pm UTC

I actually wrote a paper on The Great Gatsby and quoted Fight Club in it. It was awesomesauce. I said something about "having the courage to just run with it." I meant more like the way that superstars buy lavishly horrendous houses that they show the whole world on Cribz and make the public think that's the American Dream.
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Postby saxmaniac1987 » Mon Aug 06, 2007 3:06 am UTC

We watched The Great Gatsby after we read the book in 10th grade english class. The *wawawawawa* sound every time they showed Dr. T.J. Eckleberg's billboard and the fantastic ragdoll effect when Myrtle got hit by the car were excellent.

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Postby Traisenau » Mon Aug 06, 2007 9:17 pm UTC

Narsil wrote:If I owned the DVD of I, Robot, I would cross out the words "I, Robot" and write "Men in Black III".

This would make it 10x better as a movie.


No, you take a big black sharpie and write in "Robotmageddon", that's what makes it a good movie.

Oh, and for shame all of you, we need a Sandman movie. And to quote what Gaiman said about it at comic con, "I'm gonna wait like... five years for all of you fans to deveolp as filmmakers. Then I'm gonna lock all of you in a room with knives, and the survivor will be allowed to make the movie."
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Postby Belial » Mon Aug 06, 2007 9:19 pm UTC

Doesn't Miramax still own the rights to the Sandman movie, after they started to create one, and butchered it so badly that Gaiman threw up his hands and left, and the movie died on the table?
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Postby Traisenau » Mon Aug 06, 2007 9:41 pm UTC

Basically(Gaiman said that he would rather have no Sandman movie than a bad Sandman movie), we still do need one though. Also, that story was easily the highlight of Comic Con
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Postby Nyarlathotep » Mon Aug 06, 2007 10:20 pm UTC

Narsil wrote:PRO TIP:
Having an hour long history of the Atreides family at the beginning is not a good way to do this. We get it. They live in space. They are wealthy. Jessica is creepy. You do not need very long to get this across.


Also, Dear Scifi Channel; If you're going to do a Dune movie, actually spend some goddamn money on the goddamn visuals. The desert looked like a painted background. Yes, all of it. So did everything else in the entire mini-series. Also, hire people who can act, kthx.
'Gehȳrst þū, sǣlida, hwæt þis folc segeð?
hī willað ēow tō gafole gāras syllan,
ǣttrynne ord and ealde swurd,
þā heregeatu þe ēow æt hilde ne dēah.

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Postby Phenriz » Mon Aug 06, 2007 11:01 pm UTC

Nyarlathotep wrote:
Narsil wrote:PRO TIP:
Having an hour long history of the Atreides family at the beginning is not a good way to do this. We get it. They live in space. They are wealthy. Jessica is creepy. You do not need very long to get this across.


Also, Dear Scifi Channel; If you're going to do a Dune movie, actually spend some goddamn money on the goddamn visuals. The desert looked like a painted background. Yes, all of it. So did everything else in the entire mini-series. Also, hire people who can act, kthx.


Addendum
: Scifi Channel, never touch anything to do with dune ever again, save it for the people who make real movies for a living (which excludes ewe boll and michael bay). If you ever so much as look at Dune again i'll cut your achilles tendons, yes every single person responsible for the decision to get my hopes up, AGAIN.
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Postby Hammer » Mon Aug 06, 2007 11:27 pm UTC

Nyarlathotep wrote:Also, Dear Scifi Channel; If you're going to do a Dune movie, actually spend some goddamn money on the goddamn visuals.


What? You weren't impressed with the blocky light "shields" in the David Lynch one? Inconceivable!

Also, Sandman movie. Hmmmm. Who do you cast? Crispin Glover, maybe for Dream? He's tall, thin, pale, can do scary, got some decent acting chops. I think he'd Goth up pretty good. Maybe not. Hmmmm....
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Postby Jesse » Mon Aug 06, 2007 11:29 pm UTC

Hammer wrote:
Nyarlathotep wrote:Also, Dear Scifi Channel; If you're going to do a Dune movie, actually spend some goddamn money on the goddamn visuals.


What? You weren't impressed with the blocky light "shields" in the David Lynch one? Inconceivable!

Also, Sandman movie. Hmmmm. Who do you cast? Crispin Glover, maybe for Dream? He's tall, thin, pale, can do scary, got some decent acting chops. I think he'd Goth up pretty good. Maybe not. Hmmmm....


Stuart Townsend? I haven't seen him around for a while, but I like him.

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Postby Belial » Mon Aug 06, 2007 11:32 pm UTC

Alan Rickman.

Not really, but I'd be amused.
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Hammer
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Postby Hammer » Mon Aug 06, 2007 11:33 pm UTC

Belial wrote:Alan Rickman.

Not really, but I'd be amused.

That visual is gonna stick for a long long time.
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Postby theplanman » Tue Aug 07, 2007 6:13 am UTC

I was thinking this thread would be more of this kind of hypothetical movie ideas-

Dark Ragnarok wrote:A complete overly romantic movie in which right before the happy ending, before the final whatever....

they get run over by a truck.

"Don't drink and Drive"

Roll Credits.


Zohar wrote:I always wanted to have a completely serious movie with a bizarre deus ex machina at the end. For example, an enormous flying dog solving the diplomatic crisis or whatever.


And less comics/novel ports. But whatever, both are all well and good.

I'd like to see a movie that is unabashedly silly, but not ironically or self-consciously so, as most everything seems to be nowadays. Our nearest approximation for that kind of stuff nowadays is stuff like Wondershozen (which was waay too disturbing for my tastes, although really funny at times) or the Andy Milonakis Show (also funny from time to time, but almost too stupid to watch for more than like 30 seconds). Come to think of it, such a movie would probably be more like that, so maybe it isn't such a good idea. (I can see why people just stuck with adaptations)

The Walking Dead is practically a movie already, that'd be an easy port.

I'd really like to see a great Preacher, but there is no way they could get all that violence, sex, and blasphemy green-lighted.

So in the meantime, I'll be staying cautiously optimistic about Watchmen while waiting with bated breath for any new info about the Metal Gear Solid movie.

[/i]

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Postby LoonRadio » Wed Aug 08, 2007 6:24 pm UTC

Zodiac-
I see this as kind of an eco-friendly Dazed and Confused

Doorways in the Sand-
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Postby dudica » Sat Aug 18, 2007 6:28 am UTC

A full length feature film of that kramer guy (Michael Richards?) performing "stand-up" comedy.

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Postby schrodingersduck » Sat Aug 18, 2007 8:17 pm UTC

Mortal Engines - it could be a load of drivel (although with a decent screenplay, it wouldn't be) and I'd still go to see the movie just for the ridiculously sublime spectacle watching a giant, mile-high, multistorey London chase and eat another city!

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Postby LE4dGOLEM » Sat Aug 18, 2007 8:56 pm UTC

Narsil wrote:Dune.

Shut the fuck up, I know. Still, Dune.


SEAKING

(aka agreement on a high level)

EDIT: In b4 Ender's Game crowd, or a Firefly movie that
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Postby bbctol » Sat Aug 18, 2007 9:05 pm UTC

Narsil wrote:Dune.

Shut the fuck up, I know. Still, Dune.


Seconded. Thirded. Okay, 100 or so people have already seconded it, but a good movie needs to happen.

Snow Crash would also be great.

<book which no one knows pluggage>
The Game of X, by Robert Sheckley, would make a great movie. And it also needs a sequel more than any other book I've ever read. But he's dead, so meh.
</book which no one knows pluggage>

Also, is Ender's Game ever going to get off the ground?

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Postby Gadren » Sat Aug 18, 2007 9:08 pm UTC

Sam & Max -- make it slightly similar to that TV series, but edgier.

My dad keeps saying that The Silmarillion could be done as a miniseries... but I'm not sure how.


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