Simple Writer tries Shake-Pointy-Stick

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JohnFoelster
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Simple Writer tries Shake-Pointy-Stick

Postby JohnFoelster » Wed Sep 23, 2015 7:39 am UTC

This could just as easily be put in the Language/Linguistics sub forum or the Forum Games one, but I think this is best, and may Mod strike me down if I'm wrong!

So I found the the new xkcd Simple Writer filter, and decided to see what would happen if I plugged in some really complicated poetic language and kept substituting words until it passed scrutiny. (Excepting names.)

First finding: Randall has been WAY too liberal with highly obscure contractions of common words. "'tis" is the case in point.

Here's the first one I did, from Hamlet Act 3 Scene 1 I'll keep spamming sharing my results until I get bored until inspiration fails me. You can add your own that can be Shake-Pointy-Stick or any other writer you like. (Note: I tried to link the original (reconstructed) text and the Simple Writer app, but this being my initial post, that is not allowed. I guess I'll add links if/when I am approved?)

To be, or not to be--that is the question:
Whether 'tis better in the mind to hurt from
The balls and points of not clean or good chance
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles
And by fighting end them. To die, to sleep--
No more--and by a sleep to say we end
The sad, and the ten hundred normal hurts
That body is death money getter to. 'Tis a fucking
Really seriously to be wished. To die, to sleep--
To sleep--maybe to dream: yes, there's the rub,
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come
When we have dropped off this living body,
Must give us pause. There's the thing
That makes bad happening of so long life.
For who would bear the cat of three three back ends and hurt-words of time,
The mean guy's wrong, the rich man's big mean words
The hurt of not liked love, the law's long wait,
The back talk of office, and the mean noes
That easy-going good point of the not fit takes,
When he himself might his death cause make
With a not covered knife? Who would sticks bear,
To cry and work under a tired life,
But that the fear of something after death,
The not found yet country, from whose edge
No traveller returns, confuses the will,
And makes us rather bear those bad things we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?
So head-voice does make scared guys of us all,
And so the normal face of going to do feeling
Is made sick with the pale shape of thought,
And busy making of great business and moment
With this view their directions turn wrong
And lose the name of doing. -- Soft you now,
The pretty Ophelia! -- girl outside sex spirit, in your god talks
Be all my bad doings remembered.
Last edited by JohnFoelster on Thu Sep 24, 2015 4:11 am UTC, edited 1 time in total.

JohnFoelster
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Re: Simple Writer tries Shake-Pointy-Stick

Postby JohnFoelster » Wed Sep 23, 2015 7:47 pm UTC

Yay, I am judged worthy!

Here's another, this one the well known speech Henry V.

I once read a book on play writing by Sam Shepard that insisted that in terms of diction, words with simple Anglo-Saxon roots were the most stylistically desirable. I wrote it off as nonsense at the time because Shakespeare was an enthusiastic word coiner from French and Latin roots, but looking over how much of his famous speeches and soliloquies gets by the Simple Writer filter, I'm starting to wonder about it.

What's he that wishes so?
My aunt's son Westmoreland? No, my good looking aunt's son:
If we are mark'd to die, we are enough
To do our country hurt; and if to live,
The fewer men, the greater share of notice.
God's will! I ask you, wish not one man more.
By really big cold space ball number five, I am not wanting for gold,
Nor care I who does feed upon my money;
It bothers me not if men my clothes wear;
Such outside things live not in my wanting:
But if it be a bad doing to want notice,
I am the most bad doing soul alive.
No, god, my aunt's son, wish not a man from England:
God's quiet! I would not lose so great a notice
As one man more, I think, would share from me
For the best hope I have. Oh, do not wish one more!
Rather shout it, Westmoreland, through my following,
That he which has no stomach to this fight,
Let him leave; his cross-state-line-card will be made
And money for travel put into his pocket:
We would not die in that man's company
That fears his company to die with us.
This day is called the party day of Crispian:
He that lives out this day, and comes safe home,
Will stand up straight when the day is named,
And excite him at the name of Crispian.
He that will live this day, and see old age,
Will every year on the night before have a party for his neighbors,
And say 'Tomorrow is Little-God-Man Crispian:'
Then will he roll up his shirt and show his hurts.
And say 'These marks I had on Crispin's day.'
Old men forget: yet all will be forgot,
But he'll remember with interest
What things he did that day: then will our names.
Familiar in his mouth as Thing Explainer words
Harry the life-long leader guy, Bedford and Exeter,
Warwick and Talbot, Salisbury and Gloucester,
Be in their drinking cups again remember'd.
This story will the good man teach his son;
And Crispin Crispian will never go by,
From this day to the ending of the world,
But we in it will be remember'd;
We few, we happy few, we group of brothers;
For he to-day that loses his blood with me
Will be my brother; be he never so bad,
This day will make rich his position:
And rich guys in England now a-bed
Will think themselves star-crossed they were not here,
And hold their balls poor while any speaks
That fought with us upon Little-God-Man Crispin's day.

JohnFoelster
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Re: Simple Writer tries Shake-Pointy-Stick

Postby JohnFoelster » Wed Sep 23, 2015 8:38 pm UTC

Another interesting phenomenon that seems to be an artifact of the time Simple Writer was created is that some short words for basic concepts that would probably have passed had the filter been made 100-200 years ago are nearly impossible to approximate in it, in this case I have to use "notice" for "honor" and "Little God Man" for "Saint". "Prayer" getting made above into "god talks" for the tail end of Hamlet's soliloquy is another example. "Little God Man" is defensible from the standpoint that the Christian practice of Sainthood has clear ties to the Roman practice elevating notable dead people to godhood, but "notice" just sucks. There's not much I could do about it though. Go through the entire list of synonyms for abstract worth and measurement of virtue independent of financial value (and making honor fungible wouldn't just make the speech unintelligible, it would be un-Shakespearean) and there's nothing else that passes the threshold. Not even "fame"!

So we don't write about fame, religion and honor as much as money any more.

I guess Marx and Engels might have had a point when they wrote:

"The money having class, where ever it has got the top hand, has put an end to all land having class centered, big dad guy centered, nice song like business agree things. It has without sad feeling torn to pieces the many land having class centered ties that tied man to his "normal betters," and has left remaining no other center between man and man than not clothes having me-interest, than hard "money pay-off." It has water breath killed the most sky like happy feelings of spirit-things high drive, of metal-wearing-horse-riding-guy-like spirit, of stupid-mean-guys-who-live-by-the-sea-next-to-the-god-loving-guys-on-the-hills liking-feeling-feeling, in the cold-hard-watery water of me-centered counting. It has turned personal class-having into shopping-place money-count, and in place of the really big numbered not-take-away-able written-down rights, has set up that single, not-head-voice-liked right—Free Business. In one word, for use-of-people-for-money, covered by spirit-stuff and power-stuff dreams, it has put in place open, high-handed, straight, hard use-of-people-for-money."

Then and again they were not simple writers...

JohnFoelster
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Re: Simple Writer tries Shake-Pointy-Stick

Postby JohnFoelster » Thu Sep 24, 2015 12:56 am UTC

Two from Macbeth "Be all and end all" and "Sound and fury"

"If it were done when 'tis done, then 'twere well
It were done quickly: if the killing
Could lock up the follow-up, and catch
With his stopping winning; that but this blow
Might be the be-all and the end-all here,
But here, upon this bank and edge of time,
We'ld jump the life to come. But in these cases
We still have law findings here; that we but teach
Blood covered teachings, which, being taught, return
To bother the maker: this even-handed law
Builds up the food parts of our life-taking-water-filled cup
To our own lips. He's here in two times trust;
First, as I am his family and his under person,
Strong both against the thing; then, as his party-thrower,
Who should against his killer shut the door,
Not bear the knife myself. Also, this Duncan
Has carried his powers so gently, has been
So clear in his great office, that his good things
Will ask like good sky spirits, loud noise maker-tongued, against
The deep hell sending of his taking-off;
And not hating, like a not clothed new-born child,
Long walking the noise, or sky-place's five-leg-having-winged-cat-men, riding
Upon the not seeing message carriers of the air,
Will blow the bad doing in every eye,
That tears will water-breath-kill the wind. I have no reason
To hurt with points the sides of my planning, but only
Jumping power-wanting, which jumps over itself
And falls on the other.
How now! what news?"

"Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow,
Slow-walks in this low step from day to day,
To the last word part of written-about time;
And all our days before todays have lighted stupid people
The way to dust covered death. Out, out, short light stick!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That shows off and eats his heart out for his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a story
Told by an easy word Thing Explainer, full of sound and not calm,
Meaning nothing."

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PAstrychef
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Re: Simple Writer tries Shake-Pointy-Stick

Postby PAstrychef » Thu Sep 24, 2015 3:07 am UTC

I tried Jabberwocky and couldn't make it work.
Don’t become a well-rounded person. Well rounded people are smooth and dull. Become a thoroughly spiky person. Grow spikes from every angle. Stick in their throats like a puffer fish.

JohnFoelster
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Re: Simple Writer tries Shake-Pointy-Stick

Postby JohnFoelster » Thu Sep 24, 2015 4:13 am UTC

PAstrychef wrote:I tried Jabberwocky and couldn't make it work.


I'd have been worried if you could.

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Plasma_Wolf
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Re: Simple Writer tries Shake-Pointy-Stick

Postby Plasma_Wolf » Fri Sep 25, 2015 8:40 pm UTC

Is it all right if I put this here:

Drawn as much for making pretty moves in fighting other people as for important form things, the sharp light stick, also called the "narrow light stick" by those who were not good with it, was a special hurt-thing, the very image of which was very much known with the stories of the light-people Order and their no-friends, the dark-people. The sharp light stick also became known with the light-people Order's ideas to keep happy and being nice to each other in the large place with all the huge things. This idea stayed, despite the many wars with sharp light stick-using dark-people and light-people who were no longer light-people.


I quickly did this without the most difficult story-related things up. Have a guess at which thing this is... :)

I also noticed that "war" is deemed a simple thing and "peace" is not. I then took a web-dictionary to explain peace and all it did was explain it in more difficult terms. So as it turns out, peace is a hard thing :o

But war apparently is not. Here's a small bit from a game's fanfiction that I really enjoy. An alien (who eventually leads a crusade which he hopes will lead to a genocide) first has to ask his mentor what the word "war" means:

This word means to willingly participate in conflicts resulting in the death of others of your kin over a period of time. It is only achieved through resignation and by accepting that two futures are so different that only one can be allowed to exist


I'd never have thought of such an explanation myself.

JohnFoelster
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Re: Simple Writer tries Shake-Pointy-Stick

Postby JohnFoelster » Sat Sep 26, 2015 4:31 am UTC

Plasma_Wolf wrote:Is it all right if I put this here:

Drawn as much for making pretty moves in fighting other people as for important form things, the sharp light stick, also called the "narrow light stick" by those who were not good with it, was a special hurt-thing, the very image of which was very much known with the stories of the light-people Order and their no-friends, the dark-people. The sharp light stick also became known with the light-people Order's ideas to keep happy and being nice to each other in the large place with all the huge things. This idea stayed, despite the many wars with sharp light stick-using dark-people and light-people who were no longer light-people.


So that's a Thing Explaining of the plot of the Space Fight series?

Eh, kinda tangential, but I don't make the rules around here.

Also can't be too finnicky about respondents given the overwhelming enthusiasm for the thread. (Actually wondering if the thread belongs somewhere else now, given the apparently low traffic to this sub-forum.)

Better would have been a simplification of actual Space Fight dialogue.

"Your father's sharp light stick. This is the hurt-thing of a light-people Order horse-riding-guy. Not as heavy-handed or not planned as a light-gun. A more class-having hurt-thing for a more more-learning-having age."


Better still, given that it is a "Books" forum, would have been to use a passage from one of the relatively few decent Star Wars books.

"I have no not-quiets about accepting a good idea simply because it wasn't my own." - Admiral Thrawn

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ian
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Re: Simple Writer tries Shake-Pointy-Stick

Postby ian » Thu Nov 19, 2015 2:26 pm UTC

Three Rings for the pointy-ear-Leaders under the sky,
Seven for the Short-hairy-faced-Leaders in halls of stone,
Eight and one for Men who will not live for ever, sure to die,
One for the Dark Leader on his dark seat
In the Black Land, where the Shadows lie.
One Ring to control them all, One Ring to find them,
One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness tie them together.
In the Black Land where the Shadows lie

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Znirk
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Re: Simple Writer tries Shake-Pointy-Stick

Postby Znirk » Fri Nov 20, 2015 8:53 am UTC

Once more into the broken wall, dear friends!
Or close it with our bodies when we're dead.
In friend-times it is really good if you
Don't go around and run or shout a lot.
But when it's loud and people start to fight,
Be like the big and people-eating cat!
Stand like you mean it, make yourself annoyed,
Hide that you're nice by looking very angry.
Then stare at people like you're fit to fight,
So that your eyes stand forward from your face
As if they were two face-guns in your head,
And make your top head part look like a rock
Above a bottom bit with broken rocks
Out in a water-place with wind and noise.
Now close your mouth and open wide your nose,
Keep breathing and make sure you're woken up.
Let's go, good people, who have blood in them
From fathers who have done this stuff before,
Who went around and fought these people here
All day long, and they only put away
Their cutting things when no-one would fight back.


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