If You Could Have Anyone Read You A Story...

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Six Fingers
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If You Could Have Anyone Read You A Story...

Postby Six Fingers » Wed Mar 10, 2010 7:56 am UTC

I'd want Brian Warner to read me some of the origional Grimm fairy tales. For some reason, I think he'd be cool with this. I also think it would be awesome to have James Earl Jones or Morgan Freeman to read me a bedtime story - it wouldn't matter what - they both have really soothing voices. :D

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Re: If You Could Have Anyone Read You A Story...

Postby Amarantha » Wed Mar 10, 2010 12:07 pm UTC

Ian McShane has an awesome voice. (Although, bonus hilarity points if the book mentions cocksuckers).
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Re: If You Could Have Anyone Read You A Story...

Postby Hurt » Wed Mar 10, 2010 6:21 pm UTC

Alan Rickman. Not quite as insane as The Sherif of Nottingham but a bit more lively than Marvin.
Patrick Stewart.
Samuel L. Jackson. It would be amusing to have him read Hitchhikers Guide to The Galaxy, and let him throw some swearing in there. :D
Gerald Butler. Without sugarcoating his scottish accent.
And perhaps Edward Norton, his voice is pretty cool aswell.

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Re: If You Could Have Anyone Read You A Story...

Postby el_loco_avs » Thu Mar 11, 2010 12:33 am UTC

I totally agree with Morgan Freeman, probably slightly cliche by now, with his voiceover works.


Heh. And for the dutchies around here.... Gerda Havertong.
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Re: If You Could Have Anyone Read You A Story...

Postby masher » Thu Mar 11, 2010 12:48 am UTC

Jeremy Irons.

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Re: If You Could Have Anyone Read You A Story...

Postby poxic » Thu Mar 11, 2010 1:13 am UTC

Hurt wrote:Patrick Stewart.
Hurt wrote:Patrick Stewart.
Hurt wrote:Patrick Stewart.

Yeah, him.

Also, I'd probably enjoy Sean Bean. It would make me think that Martin Septim had come back from the dead heaven dragonification wherever to read me a bedtime story. Awesome.
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Lidwiz
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Re: If You Could Have Anyone Read You A Story...

Postby Lidwiz » Thu Mar 11, 2010 5:38 am UTC

James Earl Jones.
Jane Fonda.
Patrick Stewart.
Candice Bergen.
Sir Ian McKellen.
Kate Winslet.

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Re: If You Could Have Anyone Read You A Story...

Postby mercuryseven » Sat Mar 13, 2010 3:46 pm UTC

How about Cate Blanchett? I like her accent, plus this is the woman who played the majestic Galadriel. If my memory serves right, was she the one narrating the opening scene of the LOTR movies?

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Re: If You Could Have Anyone Read You A Story...

Postby Virtual_Aardvark » Sun Mar 14, 2010 1:36 am UTC

Toss up between Patrick Stewart and Christopher Lee. I don't care what they're reading, just that they are.
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Re: If You Could Have Anyone Read You A Story...

Postby Chuff » Sun Mar 14, 2010 5:26 pm UTC

Whoopi Goldberg.
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Re: If You Could Have Anyone Read You A Story...

Postby Vohu Manah » Tue Mar 16, 2010 2:49 am UTC

Carol Channing + Nineteen-Eighty-Four. Yeah, I went there.
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Re: If You Could Have Anyone Read You A Story...

Postby King Author » Tue Mar 16, 2010 6:35 pm UTC

I'd have Patrick Stewart read me The Joy of Sex. Through an intercom, naturally, because otherwise he'd be interrupted every twenty seconds by raucous laughter. Or Billy West read me the whole Book of the New Sun, doing a different Futurama voice for each major character. The nameless effeminate guy from Futurama for the voice of The Autarch would be worth all the money in the world.

Okay, but seriously, I'd like Amy Irving (she provided Jessica Rabbit's singing voice) to read me anything by Neil Gaiman. Her soothing 'oohs' and 'aahs' and his bizarre dark worlds; seems like a perfect match.
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Re: If You Could Have Anyone Read You A Story...

Postby BlueNight » Wed Mar 17, 2010 4:54 am UTC

Amarantha wrote:Ian McShane has an awesome voice. (Although, bonus hilarity points if the book mentions cocksuckers).


I was surprised I could only find one book on CD by him. Anyway, if I could have him read anything to me, it would be the narrative books of the Bible. Perhaps it's his stint as "Saul" in Kings that got me thinking along this track.

Other than that:

Vin Deisel reading the Caine series (Heroes Die, etc) by Matthew Stover
Anthony Hopkins reading Frankenstein
John Cusack reading the Apprentice Adept series by Piers Anthony
Edward James Olmos reading the Anonymous Rex series by Eric Garcia
Ann Coulter reading The Fountainhead.
Jack Black reading Confessions Of An English Opium-Eater
Shia LaBeouf reading The Colors Of Space by Marion Zimmer Bradley

But the two celebrity-read audiobooks I've enjoyed most (which actually do exist) are Brave New World read by Michael York and Philip K Dick's A Scanner Darkly read by Paul Giamatti. Both are superb readings, and both have the nuances which made them stars.

EDIT: Ooh! How about the guy who played The Tick (the cartoon, not Patrick Warburton) reading Dinosaur Comics?
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Re: If You Could Have Anyone Read You A Story...

Postby sanguine » Wed Mar 17, 2010 9:18 am UTC

masher wrote:Jeremy Irons.


my first thought when I saw the thread title.

And Tom Waits.
And Mark Lanegan.
Zachary Quinto needs to do more audiobooks, although preferably ones where he doesn't have to do accents, or female characters*.

I think it would also be cool if Hugh Laurie would record "The Gun Seller".

*but that's generally the flaw with audiobooks, the male/female voices thing.
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Re: If You Could Have Anyone Read You A Story...

Postby CorruptUser » Thu Mar 18, 2010 1:46 am UTC

Leornard Nemoy for the narration (loved him in Civ IV), Morgan Freeman for any wise old men, Kevin Sorbo (Hercules) for the hero, and Jeremy Irons and David Warner (Irenicus from BGII) to do the villains.

I don't know who for the heroine though.

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Re: If You Could Have Anyone Read You A Story...

Postby Chuff » Fri Mar 19, 2010 5:21 am UTC

BlueNight wrote:
EDIT: Ooh! How about the guy who played The Tick (the cartoon, not Patrick Warburton) reading Dinosaur Comics?

Oh jesus that would be amazing. We should make an internet petition!
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Re: If You Could Have Anyone Read You A Story...

Postby bocochoco » Fri Mar 19, 2010 3:06 pm UTC

I'd have Gilbert Gottfried read The Art of War.
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Re: If You Could Have Anyone Read You A Story...

Postby Mighty Jalapeno » Fri Mar 19, 2010 3:48 pm UTC

Christopher Walken would read me "Where's My Cow?"

My wife would like Jerry Orbach to read Poppy Z Brite books to her.

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Re: If You Could Have Anyone Read You A Story...

Postby Virtual_Aardvark » Fri Mar 19, 2010 8:08 pm UTC

Mighty Jalapeno wrote:Christopher Walken would read me "Where's My Cow?"


There's always this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xy5JwYOlgvY
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Re: If You Could Have Anyone Read You A Story...

Postby Amarantha » Mon Mar 22, 2010 11:07 am UTC

Virtual_Aardvark wrote:Toss up bewteen Patrick Stewart and Christopher Lee. I don't care what they're reading, just that they are.
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Re: If You Could Have Anyone Read You A Story...

Postby Levi » Tue Mar 23, 2010 3:10 am UTC

Carl Kasell.

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Re: If You Could Have Anyone Read You A Story...

Postby EmilyR » Fri Mar 26, 2010 11:42 pm UTC

Stephen Fry reading pretty much anything :)

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Re: If You Could Have Anyone Read You A Story...

Postby Mighty Jalapeno » Sat Mar 27, 2010 12:08 am UTC

EmilyR wrote:Stephen Fry reading pretty much anything ☺

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Re: If You Could Have Anyone Read You A Story...

Postby SurgicalSteel » Sat Mar 27, 2010 4:59 am UTC

I second Tom Waits to read just about anything.
Mandy Patinkin if his story telling skills aren't just part of his character (I'm not really sure if that would even make sense, but whatever).
Amy Adams perhaps, I've always liked her cadence.
Vicky Lewis I think would be good at telling light-hearted or comedic stories, she has such odd cadence and inflection.

And my History of Russia professor from last year. Whether he was really passionate about Russian history or storytelling or both, the man was good. I'll try to find some recordings of his lectures I made when I took the class.
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Re: If You Could Have Anyone Read You A Story...

Postby Eseell » Sat Mar 27, 2010 5:08 am UTC

Liam Neeson reading Watership Down. That would be all kinds of awesome.
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