Think Before Naming Your Child

[AvatarIII]

Eh, Artemis Fowl is a boy and Narcissa Malfoy is a woman.

The problem is, sometimes uncommon names just SOUND like they're for the wrong gender. Off the top of my head, I can't think of a male name ending in 'a'. Maybe it's just because I've studied Spanish a bit, but I reckon that if you knew nothing of mythology and heard the name Narcissa, you'd assume it was feminine.

i definately associate -a names with females and -us or -o names as their male counterparts.

[Makri]

Well, Narcissa does have an -a, so that's no problem. But Artemis just is a girls' name even in contemporary Greece.

There are male names ending in -a in Italian. Those come from ancient Greek names ending in -as and -es.

[Eebster the Great]

Well the -a ending is typically feminine in a lot of languages. I know in Latin, for instance, first declension masculine nouns were extremely rare (though names like Agrippa come to mind). So it shouldn't be surprising that this results in the same pattern in English.

[Ley]

My mother went to college with a Candy Barr.

On another note, I met a woman last week who goes by "Deja". I didn't want to ask, but I assume it's short for "Deja Vu" or something...

[PerchloricAcid]

In some Slavic-speaking areas, Deja would be short for Dejana, which is not an unusual name at all. Pronounced similar to day-uh and day-uh-nah.

[Giant Speck]

Shitavious

[Grop]

Shitavious

With a name like this, you would kill the whole world.

[Oflick]

My mum taught a kid whose name was "William Anker"...

W. Anker

Perhaps the spelling was actually "Anchor" or something, but for comedy's sake I went with "Anker".

[nasalhernia]

This is a huge problem with Chinese names, because the language contains a lot of homonyms. I think parents just never bothered to really say the names out loud... I've heard of and encountered names that (in Chinese) sound like "Pig Language", "Long Middle Finger", "Not Married", and "Piss Ball".

[Felstaff]

W. Anker

My dad knows this guy.

[dhokarena56]

I'm currently writing a novel whose protagonist is named Saskatchewan Prufrock Zeugma. Then again, he's supposed to have an awesome name, and I'm taking artistic license.

[Derek]

There is a freshman at my school this year with the last name (and school id) of Malehorn. Apparently pronounced exactly as it looks. Sometimes a name change really is the best option.

[Monika]

Seems to be a not particularly rare name http://www.google.de/#q=Malehorn .
I don't see what's funny or strange about it. Why do you think it warrants a name change?

[Iulus Cofield]

Horn is sometimes a euphemism for penis.

[Hope_]

I know two people with the surnames Waghorn and Woodcock, they seem to get along just fine. I think people eventually stop noticing it so why bother with the name change?

[Madge]

While we're adding anecdotally known surnames, I know "Coxhead" and "Smallwood".

[The Scyphozoa]

I know two people with the surnames Waghorn and Woodcock, they seem to get along just fine.

Hm, do they maybe get along a little too well?

On this subject: my dad told me he knew someone with the surname Glasscock. His nickname was "crystal balls".

[Sartorius]

On this subject: my dad told me he knew someone with the surname Glasscock. His nickname was "crystal balls".

Relevant: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iFTQTQt6vZ0

[Christo]

Don't know if someone brought this up or not, but there's an urban legend about a woman naming her kids something like L'Mongello and O'Rangello. Of course, it's just spelled Lemon Jello and Orange Jello.

[Monika]

I think it has not been mentioned more than 5-10 times up to now .
You know you can search inside threads, right?

[GhostWolfe]

If I add the jello names to my drinking game, do you think I'd die of liver toxicity?

/angell

[DocMesa]

I know a chap whose name is Tom Boys. He got a colossal amount of shit over it through school & secondary school and people still smirk about it whenever he's asked for his name.

So to all you cool parents who are thinking about giving your child a funny name, or naming him/her after something *YOU* find cool:

DON'T.

....because I promise you your child *will* grow up hating their name and the moron parents that gave it to them.

[flickering_candle]

A few years ago one of my coworkers had the compound last name of Elcock-Holder. Understandably, on his name tag he shortened it to Elcock.

[d0nk3y_k0n9]

Someone I work with has two small children named Helena Handbasket and Iden Ticle. I'm pretty sure that he has yet to tell them what their middle names are.

[Sheikh al-Majaneen]

I know a chap whose name is Tom Boys. He got a colossal amount of shit over it through school & secondary school and people still smirk about it whenever he's asked for his name.

Why doesn't he go by Thomas?

[vjg]

I named my brother's two children Denise and Denephew. Okay, kidding.

But my youngest daughter's initials are RPG (and that was intentional).

[Kirby]

I know two people with the surnames Waghorn and Woodcock, they seem to get along just fine.

Hm, do they maybe get along a little too well?

On this subject: my dad told me he knew someone with the surname Glasscock. His nickname was "crystal balls".

My old middle school principal has that surname. As a joke some kids gave him a bottle of Windex for his birthday. He was unamused.

[karrde]

Saw a (fictional) example in which a parent named his fourth child (a daughter) Elena Tera.

Since the family name started with "C", she was ETC.

Thought it funny. I don't know if this has occurred in real-life, though I wouldn't be surprised to learn that it has.

[TheChewanater]

Saw a (fictional) example in which a parent named his fourth child (a daughter) Elena Tera.

Since the family name started with "C", she was ETC.

Thought it funny. I don't know if this has occurred in real-life, though I wouldn't be surprised to learn that it has.

My friend's initials are SAD.

[Aiea]

I'm female, and my initials are MAN... fun. Though it does let me say "I'm the man" and be accurate

[caisara]

.

[Whelan]

My mother and her two brothers are all B. Williams.

[Ben's Brook]

Dear prospective parents: Don't name your kid's the nickname of a name. For example, don't name your kid Sam. Name your kid Samuel, and then call him Sam. It doesn't matter how many grandparents have had a nickname as a name, it's improper, and you'd save your child lots of frustration.

"So, is Sam short for Samuel?"
"No. It's my name."
"Oh."

(This question is like asking someone how they got so tall. Funny a few times, annoying the next forty."

[Iulus Cofield]

Another advantage to that is it gives the child some flexibility in what they can be called. My roommate's parents wanted to name him Dusty, but they thought he might not like it, so they named him Dustin and then called him Dusty. It turned out that he hates Dustin anyway, but he thinks it's nice they gave him the option.

[Eebster the Great]

Another advantage to that is it gives the child some flexibility in what they can be called. My roommate's parents wanted to name him Dusty, but they thought he might not like it, so they named him Dustin and then called him Dusty. It turned out that he hates Dustin anyway, but he thinks it's nice they gave him the option.

If you give your kid a middle name too, that doubles the odds they will like it. My brother's name is Thomas Charles, and he goes by Charlie.

[IronicalVitriol]

If you give your kid a middle name too, that doubles the odds they will like it. My brother's name is Thomas Charles, and he goes by Charlie.

Indeed, my brother never goes by his first name (preferring 'Keith' to his given name, 'Gary'). Although in his case I suspect he just doesn't fancy the idea of being a Jr.

[skullturf]

Dear prospective parents: Don't name your kid's the nickname of a name. For example, don't name your kid Sam. Name your kid Samuel, and then call him Sam. It doesn't matter how many grandparents have had a nickname as a name, it's improper, and you'd save your child lots of frustration.

"So, is Sam short for Samuel?"
"No. It's my name."
"Oh."

(This question is like asking someone how they got so tall. Funny a few times, annoying the next forty."

In a similar vein, don't give your kids an unusual variation on a common name, like "Kevan" or "Jennipher".

In fact -- and some may disagree with me here -- I'd almost go so far as to say you should stay away from names like Stephen/Steven, or Katherine/Catherine/Katharine. Even though those are all widely accepted spellings, when you choose one of those names, you're saddling your child with the duty of constantly having to explain how to spell their name.

[Monika]

Print them business cards when they are 3.

[Eebster the Great]

In fact -- and some may disagree with me here -- I'd almost go so far as to say you should stay away from names like Stephen/Steven, or Katherine/Catherine/Katharine. Even though those are all widely accepted spellings, when you choose one of those names, you're saddling your child with the duty of constantly having to explain how to spell their name.

It is however akceptable to replace all hard C's with K's as long as you do so konsistently for all your kids.

Mortal Kombat taught me that.

[Plasmic-Turtle]

If you give your kid a middle name too, that doubles the odds they will like it. My brother's name is Thomas Charles, and he goes by Charlie.

I had a friend at uni called Charles Thomas, and he insisted on going by Tom. Unfortunately for him, the fact the Charles was his first name became apparent from the geophysics-computer username he was given, and so we all started callling him Charlie for a while just to watch him writhe in pain at his dislike of the name...