The Xkcd Cookbook (with an unfinished index in the OP)

Apparently, people like to eat.

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redthegreat
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Postby redthegreat » Sun Jul 29, 2007 9:35 pm UTC

All be it I wrote out my recipe when drunk, but it seems ok, what's wrong with frying?

I have loads of recipe's

I only fry in mono-unsaturated ev olive oil and always drain if you are commenting on health wise.

If you want some more interesting student recipe's, this was using things cheep for me as a student.

Bread and Butter Pudding is lovely.

Ingredients:

6 slices well buttered Bread

50g/2oz Sultanas

4 Eggs

25g/1oz Sugar

600ml/20fl.oz. Milk

A little extra Sugar



Instructions



1. Preheat the oven to 170C, 325F, Gas mark 3. Grease a 7.5cm/3 inch deep ovenproof dish.



2. Remove the crusts from the buttered bread and cut into quarters (triangles or squares). Reserve 4 quarters for the top and arrange the rest in layers in the dish, sprinkling the sultanas between each layer. Top with the reserved quarters.



3. In a saucepan, heat the milk to hot but not boiling. In a large bowl, mix together the eggs and sugar then add the hot milk, stirring well.



4. Slowly strain over the bread and fruit, being careful not to dislodge the top layer of bread. Leave to stand for 10 minutes.



5. Sprinkle with a little sugar and bake in the oven for 30-40 minutes until the top is browned and crispy.



I nicked that from some sight as I couldn't remember the quantity's but yeah, comfort food and goes well with ice cream.

Ohh, get some ginger nuts, soak in amaretto and sandwich between whipped cream for adultoreo's
Please don't correct my spelling, I am lisdexic and know it is probably wrong.

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Postby Dibley » Sun Jul 29, 2007 9:45 pm UTC

Because being snobbish about pasta is fun...

Serves one hungry person (multiply recipe at your leisure):

1 cup white flour
~2 eggs

Non cheating method:

Make flour into a "volcano" on counter top
Break eggs into the "crater"
Mix and knead until smooth and somewhat elastic

Cheating method:

Add all ingredients to a blender
Blend until they come together into a single coherent lump
Add more eggs or water if they don't come together


Take a egg sized piece from the lump of dough
Flour the counter top
Use rolling pin until it is quite thin (not much more than a millimeter or two)
Sheet should be significantly longer than it is wide
If it tends to tear, or looks grainy, knead more
Flour the sheet
Roll the sheet lengthwise
Cut ~1 cm (to taste) rounds off the roll, unrolling the resulting discs to make noodles

Bring a pot of water to boil, add a bit of salt to the water
When it is boiling, add the noodles
Stir continuously (unless you like your noodles stuck together in a lump)
Taste noodles until they are done
Drain noodles
Add a dash of oil (preferably olive) IMMEDIATELY and mix in (less they glom into a lump)

You now have yummy homemade noodles.


Yummy homemade sauce (requires damn good tomatoes):

Lots of tomatoes
Basil
Garlic

Dice the tomatoes finely
Optionally, drain the resulting tomato juice, boil it down a bit, and add to the sauce
Cut basil finely (remember basil is yummy, use lots)
Remove garlic skins (squish hard with flat of a knife, pick out the skins)
Chop garlic finely (Same as basil, garlic is yummy. 1-2 cloves usually sufficient)
Mix everything together
Let sit for 20 minutes to let flavors mix (prepare before making pasta)

Very very yummy.

Also, you can add finely chopped herbs (basil ftw!) to the pasta mix, making nifty noodles with green flecks which are yummy. Eggs can be replaced with water, but it isn't nearly as good that way.

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Postby Phraug » Sun Jul 29, 2007 11:10 pm UTC

Not really a salad wrote:Ingredients:
Approximately equal amounts of tomatoes and cucumbers
scallions
basil
thyme
oil and vinegar (I used vegetable oil and white vinegar)
Optional: smaller amounts celery, lettuce

Take out a smallish serving bowl. Dice the tomatoes, cucumbers, celery, and lettuce (you can tear the lettuce instead of chopping it) very small into the bowl, trying not to lose the liquid they contain.

Dice and add a scallion or two, a shitload of basil, and a handful of thyme -- less if you have fresh herbs, I didn't. Mix it up.

Use some vinegar to rinse off your cutting surface into the not-salad. Squirt some oil on. Squirt some more oil and vinegar on and mix it up. Keep adding oil and vinegar and basil until it looks right, but don't go overboard.

For an awesome meal:
Shake thyme onto some chicken breasts and grill them
Cook some rice with basil in the water
Mix the three dishes together on your plate -- it's pretty fucking gorgeous

Bonus points: After you've had it for lunch for a few days and it's all gone, use the reddish-brown vinegary liquid at the bottom as a base for something else

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Postby Bakemaster » Mon Jul 30, 2007 1:03 am UTC

Anmorata wrote:Hmm. I'm looking for some good pork chop/pork rib recommendations, as I've got a freezer full. Anyone?

For chops, I like to lightly flour them, sear in a heavy-bottomed skillet on both sides, then take them out briefly; deglaze the pan with a little white wine, add sliced mushrooms and olives and cook for a minute, then tuck the chops back in underneath, add a few sprigs of thyme and finish them off in the oven at 400 (200 C, gas mark 6) for about five minutes (depending on how thick they are). It's really easy and really delicious. You can remove the thyme after or use it as a garnish.

@red: You do not fry hamburgers; you grill hamburgers. You do not fry hamburgers; you grill hamburgers. You do not fry hamburgers; you grill hamburgers. Continue writing by hand until you fill a 70-sheet college-rule notebook.
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Postby dubsola » Mon Jul 30, 2007 1:30 pm UTC

Bakemaster wrote:@red: You do not fry hamburgers; you grill hamburgers. You do not fry hamburgers; you grill hamburgers. You do not fry hamburgers; you grill hamburgers. Continue writing by hand until you fill a 70-sheet college-rule notebook.


American grill / English barbeque:
Image

English grill / American I don't know what (the part with the blue flames btw):
Image

George Foreman grill:
Image

Bakemaster: What if you don't have a grill?

Anmorata wrote:Hmm. I'm looking for some good pork chop/pork rib recommendations, as I've got a freezer full. Anyone?


I like parmesan-crusted pork chops. Sorry about the rough descriptions.

Make a mix of breadcrumbs and grated parmesan on a plate, and another plate with egg, and a third plate with flour. Coat each chop in flower, then dip into the egg, then in the crumb mixture so it's got a nice coating of stuff. Then fry it, or fry it and then cook it in the oven until it's not pink.


Goes with roast vegetables and steamed green beans.

On a baking try, spread some foil to cover the bottom. Makes it easier to clean afterwards. Chop up some pumpkin / sweet potato / normal potato / anything else that you like roast into whatever size you want, as long as they're roughly equal. Dribble olive oil over the top, some salt and pepper, and if you want to get fancy, some chilli flakes, herbs like rosemary or thyme, honey... it's all good. Put it in the oven until it's soft.


-------------

Now, my tomato pasta recipe. Been working on it for years, in a vain effort to get it to taste as good as an Italian grandmother (nonna) would make. Most important thing is to get good ingredients and keep making it until you are happy with how it tastes. Expermentation is the key.

Tomato sauce

2 cans of canned peeled tomatoes.
2-3 cloves of garlic chopped finely
1/2 onion chopped into small bits
salt, pepper, chilli flakes
fresh parsley + basil
red wine

The longer it simmers, the better, as long as it's not burning and doesn't evaporate away to nothing.

Get a pot and heat it up and put a bit of olive oil in it, then put the garlic and onion. Let it yellow slightly. Put the tomatoes in there and squash them around so they're not too solid and the garlic and onion are mixed up. Then put the salt, pepper, chilli and red wine in there. Get it cooking properly, then bring it down to the lowest simmer over the course of a while. Stir it every so often while you cook the rest of the food. A couple of minutes before everything's ready, throw the basil and parsley in there. Taste it, it should be damn good.

Other stuff

Lots of salty meat. One or more of these:
Parma / forma ham / prosciutto / chorizo / bacon. The more the better :)
3 capsicum (green, red, yellow)
2-3 big mushrooms

Fry it all in a pan with olive oil.

Cook some fettucini in salted boiling water until it's ready. Don't overcook it, for pete's sake.

When it's all ready, put it in big bowls and put some parmesan cheese on top. Drink red wine with it if you're that way inclined.


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Last edited by dubsola on Mon Jul 30, 2007 3:11 pm UTC, edited 2 times in total.

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Postby SecondTalon » Mon Jul 30, 2007 1:33 pm UTC

dubsola wrote:English grill / American I don't know what:
Image


Looks like some kinda stove range/broiler combination. Though, I'll be honest, I've never seen a broiler that wasn't attached to an oven.
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Postby dubsola » Mon Jul 30, 2007 3:17 pm UTC

SecondTalon wrote:
dubsola wrote:English grill / American I don't know what: <image>

Looks like some kinda stove range/broiler combination. Though, I'll be honest, I've never seen a broiler that wasn't attached to an oven.

Broiler, according to GIS. Most stove/ovens have that part inside the oven, but my parents (for example) bought one which is as pictured - the grill/broiler is a bit above the stove. Usually has a tray which you slide out, put the fish / cheese on bread / whatever on, then slide back in to "grill".

This is absolutely the LAST time I will mention the differences in barbeque / grill terminology across the Atlantic. I assume everyone else stopped caring a long time ago.

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Postby SecondTalon » Mon Jul 30, 2007 3:26 pm UTC

Across the Atlantic? We've got that problem across the Great Plains.
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Postby QuantumTroll » Mon Jul 30, 2007 4:10 pm UTC

Recipe for Banana Curry Pizza

Code: Select all

Banana Curry Pizza

Ingredients:
- 1 ripe & sweet banana
- 1 pizza dough
- 1 helping of (tomato) pizza sauce
- 1 thing of curry powder
- grated cheese

Preparation:
- Preheat oven to temperature of your choice (200 C/400 F is ok)
- Slice the banana, put aside
- Spread pizza sauce over dough
- Distribute banana slices over pizza in a single layer
- Eat the remainder of the banana
- Cover with cheese
- Sprinkle a liberal dose of curry powder
   + I recommend varying the dosage across the pizza
- Bake until done
- Let the cheese set before cutting
   + The number of slices must be a multiple of 4

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Postby Bakemaster » Mon Jul 30, 2007 7:38 pm UTC

dubsola wrote:Bakemaster: What if you don't have a grill?

If you absolutely have to have a burger and the only way you can make one is by frying it, that's your decision. Your terrible, horrible, no good, very bad decision.
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Postby redthegreat » Mon Jul 30, 2007 8:25 pm UTC

Bakemaster wrote:
Anmorata wrote:Hmm. I'm looking for some good pork chop/pork rib recommendations, as I've got a freezer full. Anyone?

For chops, I like to lightly flour them, sear in a heavy-bottomed skillet on both sides, then take them out briefly; deglaze the pan with a little white wine, add sliced mushrooms and olives and cook for a minute, then tuck the chops back in underneath, add a few sprigs of thyme and finish them off in the oven at 400 (200 C, gas mark 6) for about five minutes (depending on how thick they are). It's really easy and really delicious. You can remove the thyme after or use it as a garnish.

@red: You do not fry hamburgers; you grill hamburgers. You do not fry hamburgers; you grill hamburgers. You do not fry hamburgers; you grill hamburgers. Continue writing by hand until you fill a 70-sheet college-rule notebook.


Don't tell me how to cook my burgers, I am not sure if something is being lost in translation here, but this is frying "shallow fry"

Every fast food place in england frys burgers, the process of getting a hot surface with a small amount of oil to cook. "I believe this is how sponge bob does his burgers"

I use a griddle plate on my hob.
Please don't correct my spelling, I am lisdexic and know it is probably wrong.

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Postby Bakemaster » Mon Jul 30, 2007 10:06 pm UTC

Spongebob, excellent though he may be, is not the best role model in all things. Neither is a fast food joint. Yes, McDonald's cooks their burgers on a hot griddle. They also make their chicken nuggets out of pureed and reconstituted skin and guts. If that sounds good to you, well then it's no wonder the food over there is so terrible.
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Postby QuantumTroll » Mon Jul 30, 2007 10:08 pm UTC

What's with the fascination with grilling, anyway? It's not like the gas grills that are the rage these days even add flavor. Charcoal or nothin'!

Frying hamburgers in a pan is a fine way to prepare them if a proper grill is impractical for reasons of rain, lack of charcoal, or time.

Edited to add: Closed-mindedness about food is unmanly!
Last edited by QuantumTroll on Mon Jul 30, 2007 10:11 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.

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Postby Ended » Mon Jul 30, 2007 10:09 pm UTC

McHell wrote:Wow... the simplicity of the snow recipe makes it super attractive. Have to wait till december to try it, but it's promising. Don't like condensed milk thought --- would coconut milk cut it?

Interesting idea, I love coconut milk. You don't want the coconut milk too watery though, or the snow won't mix with it well (condensed milk works well because it's so thick and sticky).
Generally I try to make myself do things I instinctively avoid, in case they are awesome.
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Postby redthegreat » Mon Jul 30, 2007 10:14 pm UTC

LOL at your char-grilling

Char-grilled food contains the same amount of carcinogen's as a pack of cigarettes, carbon!
Please don't correct my spelling, I am lisdexic and know it is probably wrong.

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Postby QuantumTroll » Mon Jul 30, 2007 10:23 pm UTC

redthegreat wrote:LOL at your char-grilling

Char-grilled food contains the same amount of carcinogen's as a pack of cigarettes, carbon!

It'll put hair on your chest, girly man.

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Postby SecondTalon » Mon Jul 30, 2007 10:50 pm UTC

Then I'll die cancer-ridden but having eaten food that doesn't taste like the inside of the gas tank of my car. Or petrol tank. Take your pick.
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Postby redthegreat » Tue Jul 31, 2007 12:33 am UTC

I'll enjoy a smoke and have some decent moist griddled burgers thank-you.

Knowing you Americans you will probably die due to weight related issues before your food gives you cancer.
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Postby SecondTalon » Tue Jul 31, 2007 12:46 am UTC

LOLZ AMERICANS R FAT!

Actually, I'd like to know where you got your information regarding charcoal. Granted, I've always heard that it does impart a little carcinogens on to the food cooked on it, but nothing on the level of a pack of smokes. Hell, I've sometimes heard that the air is usually worse than the burger. Of course, I assume this changes depending on the city.
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Postby Alomax » Tue Jul 31, 2007 3:16 am UTC

Wood/charcoal burns hotter than cigarettes, and so emits less smoke, and therefore (I would assume) less carcinibadstuff than a comparable amount of tobacco. Since man (r0wr) has been cooking with wood-fueled fire for several millenia, I don't think whatever if any carcinogens being passed into the food are anything to worry about.
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Postby Bakemaster » Tue Jul 31, 2007 4:46 am UTC

QuantumTroll wrote:What's with the fascination with grilling, anyway? It's not like the gas grills that are the rage these days even add flavor. Charcoal or nothin'!

Who said anything about gas? Coals and wood chips for the win.

The one major exception to my love of cooking meats on the grill is sausages. Far better to braise them in beer.
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Postby Brineshrimp » Tue Jul 31, 2007 5:18 am UTC

SecondTalon wrote:Then I'll die cancer-ridden but having eaten food that doesn't taste like the inside of the gas tank of my car. Or petrol tank. Take your pick.


I simply love how this has developed into a cultural flamewar :P
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Postby dubsola » Tue Jul 31, 2007 10:22 am UTC

Brineshrimp wrote:I simply love how this has developed into a cultural flamewar :P

Seems food is as controversial as politics. Or maybe food has politics. Or maybe, just maybe, we're all a bit too defensive!

How 'bout if we post recipes that are unique to one's country / culture?

dubsola's fancy delicious nutritious kangaroo concoction
This site has pretty accurate info on cooking 'roo.

Kangaroo meat
Red wine
Chopped garlic
Rosemary
Salt n Pepa

Slice the kangaroo meat how you want it. Various schools of thought on the matter, you could slice it into thin strips, thick strips, or medallions. For this recipe, slice it into thick strips of about 2cm x 2cm x 5cm.

Put the meat in a bowl, and pour enough red wine to cover it, then add the garlic, rosemary and season with salt and pepper. The idea is to marinate the meat, so sploosh it round with your hands until all the meat is covered. Marinate for a while.

In meantime, fire up your GRILL (yes!).

When the grill's ready, cook the meat. It cooks pretty quickly, like one or two minutes per side. Check the meat, make sure it's done the way you like it. I like it rare.

Serve however you want. For maximum fun, get a bunch of tiny buns, some green leaves and put each piece of meat inside a bun with a bit of salad action. You don't need any sauce.

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Postby Zohar » Tue Jul 31, 2007 12:46 pm UTC

I warn you, the following recipe takes about two days to prepare. It's not difficult, just takes a while, however, it's the best cheesecake I've ever tasted.

Glorious Cheesecake

The cheese:
1.25 kg of white 9% cheese
1.6 kg sour cream (will drain to about 1 kg)

Drain overnight (separately). That means, put them in a thin piece of cloth (a cloth diaper or a thin kitchen towel will do), place in a drainer suspended over a large pot. That helps drain all the water.

Base:
1/2 cup sugar (100 gr)
3/4 cup flour (100 gr)
100 gr peeled almonds, powdered
1/8 teaspoon salt
100 gr cold butter, diced.

Heat oven to 150 deg. C (300 deg F)
Put all ingredients but butter in a blender and blend until you get a grainy consistency. Add butter and blend until you get a uniform consistency.

Put in a 26 cm (10.5 inches) oiled spring pan. Use your hand to firmly compress the dough to the bottom. Put in the oven for about 15-20 mins until it's yellow brown.

Take out of the oven, use a wooden spoon to flatten the dough. Cool.

Filling:
All of the cheese
600 gr of the drained sour cream
5 eggs, at room temperature
3 tablespoons fresh lemon juice
1 3/4 cup sugar (375 gr)
3/4 flour (100 gr)

Turn oven to 190 deg C (375 deg F).
Use a mixer to mix all of the cheese until it has a creamy consistency. Add 600 gr of the drained cream (originally 1 kg) and again mix until consistent. Add the eggs one after the other while mixing (add the next one only after the previous one is absorbed in the mixture). Add the lemon juice and sugar, mix. Sift the flour and mix until no more lumps.

Pour into the pan (with the cooked dough in it). Bake for 10 minutes.
Lower the oven temp. to 140 deg C (285 deg F) and bake another 40 minutes, until the cake is slightly golden and still wobbly in the center.

Cool outside of oven for 10 minutes.

Frosting:
Remainder of the cream (about 450 gr)
1 1/4 - 1 1/2 cups powdered sugar (150 gr), sifted

Blend the cream manually while sifting the sugar in. Pour on the warm cake and straighten with a metal spoon.

Cool the cake at least four hours in the fridge (after it has cooled outside of it), it's much better after a night in the fridge.

If you want you can drizzle a sauce over it (when serving the cake) made from your favorite berries after having boiled them with some sugar and water (and perhaps crushing them a bit with a fork).

I warned you it would be lengthy but by far it's my best cake and it's well worth the work.
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Postby bookishbunny » Tue Jul 31, 2007 1:04 pm UTC

Bakemaster wrote:
QuantumTroll wrote:What's with the fascination with grilling, anyway? It's not like the gas grills that are the rage these days even add flavor. Charcoal or nothin'!

Who said anything about gas? Coals and wood chips for the win.

The one major exception to my love of cooking meats on the grill is sausages. Far better to braise them in beer.


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Postby recurve boy » Tue Jul 31, 2007 1:24 pm UTC

Dibley wrote:Because being snobbish about pasta is fun...

Non cheating method:


Meh. As a guy who makes his own pasta 'non-cheating' is over rated. It's really just messy and requires more clean up.

I make my own bread so I will try and describe a french method I learnt from the book Dough by Richard Bertinet.

500gr plain flour - strong bread flour if you can find it. But the beauty of this method is that it will give you an incredible result from plain old flour
350gr of water. find the flour here in Sydney, needs 375ish.
10gr salt
10 grams yeast - fresh if you can get it. dried works fine. I usually use a little more.

You need a scraper.

The English method of making a well on your counter top is messy and rubbish. Instead use a bowl. Sift flour into the bowl. In one half of the bowl rub the salt into the flour. In the other half, rub the yeast in. Pour in the water and use the scrapper to fold the mixture together until it has the consistency of a thick porridge. It'll be lumpy but more or less stick together.

Now transfer the mixture onto a clean surface. Do NOT flour the surface.

So you have this wet blob on your kitchen counter. To work it, use both hands with your fingers spread out to pick up the dough. Now slap the bottom onto our surface, and pull the top over trapping air. So it looks a bit like a clam.

If you continue to work it this way, you will find that the dough will become smooth and that it will start to come clean off your surface and fingers.

And since we never added extra flour to kneed the mixture, we get a smooth, light, elastic dough.

Just dust the surface with flour and do the regular proving thing.

With practise, you should be able to get up to the first proving phase in 15 minutes. This works great for pizza, where you can skip the proving stuff. Just start shaping the dough after working it.

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Postby SecondTalon » Tue Jul 31, 2007 2:23 pm UTC

dubsola wrote:
Brineshrimp wrote:How 'bout if we post recipes that are unique to one's country / culture?


So, how many 'possum recipies do you want?

I suppose there's always the hot brown.

6 tablespoons butter
6 tablespoons all-purpose flour
3 cups milk
1/2 cup freshly grated Parmesan cheese
1 egg, room temperature and beaten
Salt and black pepper to taste
1/2 cup prepared whipped cream
8 slices toasted white bread, crust trimmed off
1 pound cooked turkey breast, thinly sliced
Grated Parmesan cheese for topping
1 (2-ounce) jar diced pimientos, drained
8 bacon slices, fried crisp

In a large saucepan over medium heat, melt butter. Gradually add flour, stirring constantly, until smooth and free from lumps. Gradually stir in milk until sauce comes to a gentle boil, stirring constantly; remove from heat. Add Parmesan cheese and stir until melted and well blended.

In a small bowl, beat egg. Gradually add 1 cup of hot sauce, 1/3 cup at a time, to the egg, stirring constantly. Gradually add egg mixture to remaining sauce, stirring constantly until well blended; add salt and pepper to taste. Fold in whipped cream.

For each Hot Brown sandwich, place two slices of toasted bread on a metal (or flameproof) dish. Cover the toast with a liberal amount of turkey. Pour a generous amount of sauce over the turkey. Sprinkle with additional Parmesan cheese. Place entire dish under a broiler until the sauce is speckled brown and bubbly. Remove from broiler, sprinkle with diced pimientos, cross two pieces of bacon over the top, and serve immediately.

Makes 4 servings of two open-faced sandwiches each.
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redthegreat
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Postby redthegreat » Tue Jul 31, 2007 3:13 pm UTC

Im too proud and I know it!!

I do enjoy a good Smokey bbq though, I buy those chips made from the barrels they use to mature whiskey and it gives a lovely smoked flavor.
Please don't correct my spelling, I am lisdexic and know it is probably wrong.

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Dibley
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Postby Dibley » Tue Jul 31, 2007 3:28 pm UTC

recurve boy wrote:
Dibley wrote:Because being snobbish about pasta is fun...

Non cheating method:


Meh. As a guy who makes his own pasta 'non-cheating' is over rated. It's really just messy and requires more clean up.


It is a real pain in the ass to get the gunk off your fingers, but can be remarkably satisfying.

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PatrickRsGhost
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Postby PatrickRsGhost » Tue Jul 31, 2007 3:38 pm UTC

Dibley wrote:
recurve boy wrote:
Dibley wrote:Because being snobbish about pasta is fun...

Non cheating method:


Meh. As a guy who makes his own pasta 'non-cheating' is over rated. It's really just messy and requires more clean up.


It is a real pain in the ass to get the gunk off your fingers, but can be remarkably satisfying.


Same goes for homemade breads of any kind. Sure, you can go to the store and buy a pre-packaged loaf of pre-sliced bread, but let those plastic Rockefellers buy you a pre-packaged loaf of pre-sliced white bread. It takes a real person to knead the dough a few times, wait patiently for the dough to rise, knead it some more, form it into a loaf or rolls, let that rise a bit, then bake it. The finished product tastes so much better, therefore being more full of win and awesome.
PRG

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Postby recurve boy » Tue Jul 31, 2007 11:30 pm UTC

PatrickRsGhost wrote:
Dibley wrote:It is a real pain in the ass to get the gunk off your fingers, but can be remarkably satisfying.

Same goes for homemade breads of any kind.


The description of the method I use for making bread is shit, admittedly. But if you try it, you'll find that folding air into the dough rather than kneading, causes the dough to come <b>clean</b> off your work surface and fingers. There is remarkably little scrap dough left on your surface and fingers.

There's absolutely no reason you can't get great results and be clean.

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Postby Alpha Omicron » Wed Aug 01, 2007 12:45 am UTC

For country-specific recipes (forgive me if it's already been done)

Code: Select all

Poutine

Deep-fry some french fries (home-made always better)
Add curds (NOT block-packaged cheese/grated cheese)
Pour on poutine sauce*, hot enough to melt your curds

*A spiced beef gravy based liquid. Plain gravy will do.
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Postby ks_physicist » Wed Aug 01, 2007 10:43 am UTC

Alpha Omicron wrote:For country-specific recipes (forgive me if it's already been done)

Code: Select all

Poutine

Deep-fry some french fries (home-made always better)
Add curds (NOT block-packaged cheese/grated cheese)
Pour on poutine sauce*, hot enough to melt your curds

*A spiced beef gravy based liquid. Plain gravy will do.


Gravy: thin brown gravy, or thick?

Pictures? Free samples by airmail?

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~Jake~
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Postby ~Jake~ » Wed Aug 01, 2007 4:04 pm UTC

fynch wrote:

Code: Select all

Ingredients
1) 532.35 cm3 gluten
2) 4.9 cm3 NaHCO3
3) 4.9 cm3 refined halite
4) 236.6 cm3 partially hydrogenated tallow triglyceride
5) 177.45 cm3 crystalline C12H22O11
6) 177.45 cm3 unrefined C12H22O11
7) 4.9 cm3 methyl ether of protocatechuic aldehyde
8) Two calcium carbonate-encapsulated avian albumen-coated protein
9) 473.2 cm3 theobroma cacao
10) 236.6 cm3 de-encapsulated legume meats (sieve size #10)

To a 2-L jacketed round reactor vessel (reactor #1) with an overall heat
transfer coefficient of about 100 Btu/øF/ft2/hr, add ingredients one, two and
three with constant agitation.

In a second 2-L reactor vessel (reactor #2) with a radial flow impeller
operating at 100 rpm, add ingredients four, five six and seven until the
mixture is homogenous.

To reactor #2, add ingredient eight, followed by three equal volumes of the
homogenous mixture in reactor #1. Additionally, add ingredient nine and ten
slowly, with constant agitation.

Care must be taken at this point in the reaction to control any temperature
rise that may be the result of an exothermic reaction.

Using a screw extrude attached to a #4 nodulizer, place the mixture
piece-meal on a 316SS sheet (300 x 600 mm).

Heat in a 460øK oven for a period of time that is in agreement with Frank &
Johnston's first order rate expression (see JACOS, 21, 55), or until golden
brown.

Once the reaction is complete, place the sheet on a 25øC heat-transfer table,
allowing the product to come to equilibrium.


This is what I thought of when I saw xkcd cookbook.


Hah. That was awesome.


Breakfast Pizza wrote:Ingredients
- Pizza

Method
- Visit local pizza hostelry and purchase your pizza of choice. I can recommend a thin and crispy base with pepperoni, pineapple and jalepenos but any topping will do really.
- Eat a couple of slices and then put the rest of the pizza into the fridge. If a fridge isn't available, then just leave pizza in box and turn the central heating off.
- Sleep for 6-10 hours according to taste.
- Remove pizza from fridge and eat cold. Any leftovers can be heated up for dinner.

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Postby Bakemaster » Thu Aug 02, 2007 3:53 pm UTC

I discovered the other day that already-made marinara sauce is great to cook kielbasa in. I used to love kielbasa, only I'd get tired of it easily because the only way I knew to cook it was to fry it in thick slices.

The whole story: I had made a lot of marinara earlier in the week, and then a friend came over with basil, parsley and a serrano pepper from his garden, so I cooked up the pepper with some more onion and garlic and added it to the sauce. Cooking sauce again with added stuff instead of just reheating it makes for absolutely incredible sauce. Anyway, the *next* day I had some kielbasa and thought well, how about covering it in sauce in a casserole dish and reheating it like that? Conclusion: very, very tasty. It was turkey kielbasa. Went well with a random South African red wine and leftover tiramisu from Monday.
Image
c0 = 2.13085531 × 1014 smoots per fortnight
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dubsola
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Postby dubsola » Fri Aug 24, 2007 10:24 am UTC

Gordon wrote:
Bondolon wrote:Assuming there isn't one

Now, we all know what they say assuming. I assure you no one makes an ass out of me and gets away with it.

Anyway, there is already a thread about cooking and recipes and all that fun stuff you do in the kitchen with the oven and the fridge

Yes, Gordon, but this is GORR-MAAYY!

(If you're wondering what I'm on about, Bondolon created a thread for gourmet cuisine, and it was locked faster than you can say "Wormwood Scrubs".)

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Gordon
Dr. Banana
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Postby Gordon » Fri Aug 24, 2007 10:27 am UTC

Damn skippy, last time I checked gourmet food was still food. Here is your food thread, use it. Or don't, either way really.
Meaux_Pas wrote:
RealGrouchy wrote:I still remember the time when Gordon left. I still wake up in the middle of the night crying and screaming his name.
I do that too, but for an entirely different reason.
RealGrouchy wrote:
Gordon wrote:How long have I been asleep?!
Our daughter is in high school now.

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Bondolon
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Postby Bondolon » Fri Aug 24, 2007 10:29 am UTC

Gordon wrote:Damn skippy, last time I checked gourmet food was still food. Here is your food thread, use it. Or don't, either way really.


Last time I checked, Biology and Physics were still science, but we don't have only one thread about science. I consider this a very personal, very undeserved, very uninformed attack on my opinions.

edit: And quite unfair, at that, since you have defamed me in public.

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marshlight
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Postby marshlight » Fri Aug 24, 2007 3:31 pm UTC

I guess we could just post a whole bunch until we can start page six for gourmet-only recipes? Or whatever. I'm always up for food recipes and they usually taste better when not shared angrily (unless they are heavily guarded family secrets, in which case such is allowed).
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dubsola
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Postby dubsola » Fri Aug 24, 2007 3:37 pm UTC

I'm not angry, and will repost my jerk chicken salad recipe here.

dubsola wrote:From BBC Food, my favourite food website.

Jerk chicken salad

Ingredients
1 bunch spring onion, sliced finely
handful flatleaf parsley
1 tsp chilli flakes
1 lime, juice only
1 tsp mixed spice
2 chicken breasts, boneless, skinless, sliced thickly
2 tbsp olive oil
1 bag salad leaves
1 tbsp white wine vinegar
100g/3oz mixed seeds and nuts

Method
1. Place half the spring onion into a bowl with the flatleaf parsley, chilli flakes, lime and mixed spice. Using a hand blender, blend until smooth.
2. Toss the chicken into the bowl and stir to coat.
3. Heat a frying pan until hot, then add one tablespoon of olive oil and the chicken and stir fry for 2-3 minutes.
4. Add the rest of the spring onions and cook for a further two minutes.
5. Meanwhile, toss the salad leaves with the olive oil and vinegar and place on a serving plate.
6. Add the chicken and scatter over the nuts. Serve.


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