The Xkcd Cookbook (with an unfinished index in the OP)

[Skateside]

Egg and Tomato Sandwiches

2 eggs.
1 can of tomatos.
4 slices of bread.

cook the tomatos in the microwave for two minutes, stir, then for another two minutes.
At the same time fry the eggs apart from each. Its best to keep the yolks runny.
Put the eggs on the bread first then the tomatos. this way round minimises bread soakage.
Eat as quickley as possible as it goes cold quite quickley and is ridunculously messy.

Those are the most original bullet points I've ever seen on one of these forums - finally a use for that damned smilie

[schrodingersduck]

Sweet and sour cola chicken (it's delicious, I promise!)

~ 3 Chicken breasts
~ 1 cup of cola (any brand will do, but it needs to contain sugar - can't be diet or max)
~ 1 can of tomato paste or large dollop of tomato purée
~ Couple of garlic cloves
~ Mixed herbs, spices, salt etc to taste

Heat oven to 200^oC (400^oF, Gas Mark 6, 475 K, 3.33 × 10^-30 T_P.)

Mix the cola and tomato purée or paste together until it forms a thick paste. Crush the garlic and add that to the mixture, along with herbs, spices etc. Stir well, and then spread over the chicken breasts in a casserole dish. Cook for about 50 minutes (95 microyears) without lid, until the sauce has browned the chicken.

This can produce a quite runny sauce, so it's best eaten with mashed potatoes/(British style) chips/bread, to soak up any excess. The sugar is important to ensure that the mixture caramelises over the chicken. If you don't have any normal cola, you could add some extra sugar, but it would take away the health benefit of using diet.

[Ended]

Poached egg! To make it, you make a v0rtex...it's even cooler than it sounds.

Poached egg

~egg, cracked into a cup
~vinegar (prevents the egg from separating)
~seasoning (salt, pepper, coriander is nice)

Bring a pan of water (~5 inches) to the boil and add a teaspoon of vinegar. Lower the heat so the water is simmering, and stir to create a v0rtex. Carefully pour the egg from the cup into the centre of the v0rtex, and let it cook for about 3 minutes. Lift out with a slotted spoon and add the seasoning.

Serve with toast.

[csd]

Oser vos amis pour manger ceci! Yeah, I used an online translator...

Ingredients (Any amount will do):
Onion powder
Salt
Bread
Ice cream
Root beer
Hot sauce
Mustard
Swiss cheese
Pickled garlic

Directions:
Blend on high for 1 minute. Mix with 1 cup of water. Set outside in direct sunlight in pan. Cut and serve when you think you can keep it down.

[GodShapedBullet]

Presenting: Salsa and hummus together

Ingredients:
Salsa
Hummus

Directions:
Mix the salsa and hummus in equal proportions and eat with tortilla chips. Change hummus and salsa types to find the perfect taste.

I discovered this recipe by accident and it was delicious. It's a bit harder to make than "glass of juice", but it's way easier than "peanut butter and jelly sandwich".

[Zohar]

Do you mean hummus spread or the cooked grains?

[GodShapedBullet]

Do you mean hummus spread or the cooked grains?

Hummus spread.

I think it'd be gross the other way.

I didn't know until now that hummus could just mean chickpeas. For me, this seems to be the number one year to learn new things about hummus.

EDIT: On thinking about it, it wouldn't be gross so much as inconvenient since you'd have a punch of chickpeas in your salsa.

[Zohar]

Well, I'm from Israel and we just use the word hummus for both of them.

[Bakemaster]

Here hummus/humus is almost always the spread. Cooked in balls or patties it's falafel; when served whole in salads or meals, it's chick peas or garbanzo beans. Which I hate, although I love hummus and falafel.

I got this great jalapeño hummus spread from the supermarket... Ahhhhh, so tasty.

[MrHackman]

Thanksgiving leftovers of doom:
Needs:
Mashed Potatoes
Turkey
Peas
salt, and possibly other spices or flavorings
stuffing, sweet potatoes, anything else you want to add

Chop the turkey up into tiny bits, and mix it together with the peas and mashed potatoes. Microwave for however long it takes to heat it up. Add salt and/or other ingredients. EAT!

[clayasaurus]

"this is good fuckn chicken man"

you will need:
-chicken, pref thin sliced breasts
-mashed potaters
-garlic powder
-olive oil
-soy sauce
-cinnamon (reaL, not with sugar)

put 1 art olive oil and 1 part soy into a skillet or pot until the mixture lines the bottom and a little up onto the sides. Cut up the chicken, then let marinate in thre mixture for 5-10 with garlic powder (add as much as you want depending on your taste). Hit the heat to a high medium, and cook the chicken until you can pierce or break the pieces with a wooden utensil. Kill heat, add touch of cinnamon and let simmer while stirring for 3 min. Drain all liquid, leaving just chicken. Add to mashed potatoes, pref heated, and serve.

[Prole]

Here hummus/humus is almost always the spread. Cooked in balls or patties it's falafel; when served whole in salads or meals, it's chick peas or garbanzo beans. Which I hate, although I love hummus and falafel.

I got this great jalapeño hummus spread from the supermarket... Ahhhhh, so tasty.

Hummus is actually amazingly easy to make. If you can find tahini.

2/3 garlic cloves
1 teaspoon salt
1 can chick-peas, drained and rinsed
1/3 cup well stirred tahini
1/4 cup fresh lemon juice

Optional: Blended sun-dried tomato
Chopped parsley
Chopped Coriander

Throw some blended sundried tomato in too and you've got a marriage made in heaven,

Its really good with nacho's.

[Zohar]

Made this last night, it was delicious.

Code: Select all

Pea and broad bean pasta sauce

Ingredients:
1 chopped onion
3 cups of peas or broad beans or a mixture of the two (I used the frozen kind)
1 cup of cooking creme (anywhere between 15-30% fat is fine)
Salt, pepper, nutmeg, sugar
Lemon juice
Some butter to fry in

Fry onion in butter until they're see through.
Add the greens, cook some more. Add creme.
Crush the sauce (I used a potato masher). Not all of it, just enough so the liquids become greenish and the flavors will mix better.
Add seasoning to taste (about 1 tablespoon of sugar).
Add fresh-squeezed lemon juice right as you serve it.

I didn't actually use the lemon juice because I didn't have any lemons but it really helps. As for the quantities, they're rough estimates. I ended up making two packages of pasta (1 kilo) and I used two creme containers (almost 0.5 liter) and plenty of the greens.

This could work well with broccoli.

[VV33]

being but a high school student, i do not cook very often. still, i do have one or two things i like to make for myself. the one original recipe would be:

Fried Rammen:

1) Take one or more Rammen Instant Noodle packets and cook them as specified by directions. do NOT add flavor packets
2) Then when they have finished drain the water out.
3) Put a small amount of (olive) oil in a frying pan and being to heat it
4) Place the Rammen Noodles on the pan with a bit more oil and stir.
5) The dish is done when the noodle brown and crisp slightly.

note: this is even better when fryed with onion and meat. although i would not plan on cooking the meat with the noodles as they fry because the noodles fry very fast.

[Azrael]

Northern White Man's Shrimp Creole:

4 strips bacon
4 stalks celery, cut into 1/4" pieces
3 cloves garlic, diced
1 onions
1 green bell pepper
1 yellow bell pepper
1 orange bell pepper (subst any of these for a red, if you prefer)
1 or two 14.5 oz cans crushed or diced tomatoes, drained. (I used diced, and only 1 can.) (EDITED)
1/4 cup (approx) bottled clam juice.
1 lb shrimp (deveined, tails off etc etc)
Salt, black pepper, red pepper and hot sauce as needed


In a large skillet, cook the bacon until done. Remove from pan, chop, return to pan.
Into drippings, add garlic and celery and onion. Cook for 2-3 minutes.
Slice peppers, add to mix. Cook until peppers are just barely tender.
Add tomatoes & clam juice.
Season to taste, heat unit bubbles.
Add shrimp, cook until done.

Serve it over rice.

EDITs:

I am so going to make that, Azrael.

Since I know you're clever like this, you can also sub out a half pound of the shrimp for good Andouille (actually, more like 3/4 and 3/4, yay meat!) but make sure you use both cans of tomatoes.

And health conscious types can drain out some *but certainly not all* of the bacon drippings and add olive oil back.

OH! It does work with precooked shrimpies but they never really soak up the flavor very well.

[Bakemaster]

I am so going to make that, Azrael.

------------
Chicken & Spinach Thing

First things first, there is a right way to do this and a wrong way to do this. The right way involves a lot of prep cooking, as this is a recipe I learned in a restaurant. If you want to do it the right way, you need to: get heavy-duty stretchy wraps (not regular supermarket tortillas) to make this into a wrap as it's supposed to be; grill your chicken and onions ahead of time on an actual grill, then slice the chicken into strips; roast your own tomatoes; add a small amount of diced tomato and cilantro into your rice. There will be differences, most notably in the amount of liquid in the pan (you want it less wet so when you add the vinegar it doesn't get soupy), but it tastes good either way.

Ingredients:
1/2-1 lb Chicken breast
1/2 bag spinach (5-8 oz.)
1/2 red onion, sliced ~1/4 inch thick
2 cloves garlic. minced
Balsamic vinegar
Vegetable oil (a 2:1 mix of safflower oil and extra virgin olive oil is bellissimo)
2 roasted tomatoes, halved and drained of excess liquid
S&P

Cut chicken into bite-size chunks or strips and season with S&P. Heat oil over medium-high heat in a wok or large frying pan. Add onions and cook until soft. Add garlic and chicken; when chicken is almost cooked, add roasted tomatoes. Throw the spinach on and let it cook on top for a minute (the liquid simmering underneath it will start to wilt it a little), add a pinch of salt and toss until the spinach is all wilted. If you like your spinach dead, you can keep cooking it, you gross person; otherwise, serve immediately over rice with a splash of balsamic vinegar (to taste).

[jgcrawfo]

Soup that I intend to make often this winter:

•Put some oil in a big soup-capacity pot, heat it, and fry some mustard and cumin seeds until they pop.
•Mince some ginger and garlic, and chop an onion, then throw it all in there. Mix often so they don't burn/brown.
•Find some of those sweetish things you eat in the winter so you can still eat local food. You know, carrots, sweet potatoes, squash. Lots of squash! Chop em up and chuck em in the pot when the onions are clear. Maybe throw in some beans too, just for fun. Chickpeas are pretty cool.
•SEASONING ATTACK! Add some whatever you want. Garam masala is an excellent idea.
•After ten minutes or so of frying, add enough stock to just cover everything in the pot. Bring to a boil, the cook on medium till the hardest chunks are soft. Process/blend till smooth, then serve or cook longer. Your call.

Quantities are all over the place, but I find two medium onions, two carrots, and a human-head sized squash work out about right. The rest is however much you like, though remember it's a big soup pot.
Serve with fresh sourdough!

[Zohar]

I made peanut butter yesterday. First try, will need to do another sometime soon.

Basically, I used 300 grams of peanuts (roasted and peeled) and about 4 tablespoons of vegetable oil. Then I added about 1 tbsp sugar and some salt. Next time I'll need a larger amount of peanuts and I'll grind them more. It turned out very "grainy". But anyway, it tasted great. Oh, and I might use honey instead, too.

[GodShapedBullet]

I made peanut butter yesterday. First try, will need to do another sometime soon.

Basically, I used 300 grams of peanuts (roasted and peeled) and about 4 tablespoons of vegetable oil. Then I added about 1 tbsp sugar and some salt. Next time I'll need a larger amount of peanuts and I'll grind them more. It turned out very "grainy". But anyway, it tasted great. Oh, and I might use honey instead, too.

How do you grind them? Can you use a blender?

[Zohar]

I used a blender, but think it will take a few minutes of constant blending to get it to a "butter" texture. Also, the amount of oil might not have been completely adequate. I've seen recipes with one tablespoon for 1.5 cups peanuts and recipes with 0.5 cup oil for 1.5 cup peanuts.

[Surgery]

Excellent topic. I'll have to try a lot of these when I get some more flexibility in my grocery budget.

something i made last night

Ingredients:

• (1) hamburger bun
• (1) grilled chicken breast
• (2) oz. deli sliced pork loin
• (3) slices provolone cheese
• (some) golden barbecue sauce (i use cattleman's brand)

Procedure

• Butter the inside (the bready part, not the crusty part) of the hamburger bun and place on a flat top grill that's been heated to about 350-375, so that the buttered side is down. You're basically toasting the bun.
• Place a slice of cheese on each side of the bun (the sides not on the grill) so it starts to melt like a grill cheese.
• Chop the chicken into little pieces and the pork loin into little strips. Drop on flat top and mix together.
• Pour some golden bbq over the chicken and pork mixture and stir. Repeat to taste.
• Gather the mixture into a nice, neat pile and place a slice of provolone on top. Pour a little bit of water right next to the pile so that it steams and cover with something that has a handle you can use to lift it up again (i like to use pot lids).
• After maybe ten seconds the cheese should be melted over your pile of meats and bbq sauce. Very carefully use a spatula or two to transfer it all over the flat part of your toasting hamburger bun (this would be the bottom normally). Use the spatulas to keep the pile in shape and from spilling over the bun, the cheese should help in this a lot.
• Pick up the other bun and place it non-buttered side down on top of the rest of the stuff. Use one spatula to carefully press down and make the sandwich flatter. This makes it easier to eat and hold together better. Use the other spatula and your free hand to push any bits of meat that may start to squeeze out from between the bread back in. If you have a cooking weight use that instead of the first spatula.
• Admire.
• Eat.
• Fall asleep.

I've more (i've got a garbage plate recipe that is far superior to nick tahoes) that I'll post later. Peace.

[dubsola]

I made this on Saturday night, it's ridiculously easy, delicious and light.

Serves 1.

1 squid, gutted.
2 handfuls of rocket leaves (can mix with baby spinach for a less peppery vibe)
olive oil
lemon or lime (I prefer lime)
chilli
coriander
salt and pepper

Chop up the chilli and coriander.

Clean the squid. I never knew how to do this until my friend showed me, but there seems to be a reasonable guide here. Fortunately, my fishmonger had already gutted the squid, so all I had to was wash it, and peel the skin off. Once cleaned, slice the hood perpendicular to the length, into 1cm wide rings. Be gentle and you will end up with a series of nice rings, the wings, and the legs. If you're serving this to squeamish eaters, don't cook them the legs, just save them for yourself.

Put the squid into a bowl, then add the chilli, coriander, and then add a dollop of olive oil and some squeezed lime, and season with salt and pepper. Mix it around a bit, then let it marinate for a while.

Prepare the salad on a plate. The presentation is up to you, but I did it this way: a bed of even height, say 1-2cm, in a circle of about 16-20cm diameter. If you hate leaves, use less, but they are good for you, apparently. I think they taste alright.

Cooking squid is all about the speed, baby. Everything should be ready before you start. Get your pan super hot, if you splash a lil water on it, it should sizzle like the devil's bacon and eggs in the morning. Add some olive oil to the pan, then add the squid. Don't cook it for long. It should cook in a minute or less. After a bit, stir the squid around so that the other side gets cooked, then whip the pan off the stove, then get the squid evenly distributed around the bed of leaves.

Finally, drizzle a bit of oil and some lime juice over the top, along with a lil salt and pepper.

Note: Some people find dealing with squid very squeam-inducing, and I suppose it is - you are handling a jelly-like animal that has long legs and general weird texture. However, I am not particularly squeamish and had no problems doing this for the first time. It was pretty easy, actually, took very little time, and was generally delicious. I considered it a meal when served with a couple of slices of buttered bread.

[hermaj]

Okay, guys, there are two ways you can go about this. You can mix this up as a marinade and marinate the chicken, or you can boil the mixture as I do and baste the chicken as you go along. The second way means that you get a stickier, more glazed effect and a slightly smokey flavour. I will give the basting recipe - if you want to marinate, just whack the raw chicken in with the marinade, leave for a few hours or overnight and then place on racks and bake at 180C for 30-40 minutes.

Ingredients:
20 chicken wings (a little over 2kg), wing tips removed and the drummettes and wingy bits separated at the joint.
Four garlic cloves
250ml (1 cup)* soy sauce
125mL (1/2 cup)* honey
125ml (1/2 cup)* hoisin sauce. I get the hoisin stirfry sauce rather than just the bottled sauce because I find it sweeter, but get whichever you like.
60mL (3 tablespoons) Shaoxing wine or dry sherry. I use dry sherry.
1 teaspoon Chinese five-spice
Salt and pepper

* The actual quantities are less important than the proportions. Also if you're a little short on soy sauce or you just don't want to use that much, just top it up with water. I often do about 175mL soy to 75mL water.


1) Mix the soy sauce, honey, hoisin sauce, sherry and five-spice in a medium-large saucepan.
2) Place over medium heat, stirring occasionally.
3) Season the chicken wings with pepper and a little bit of salt and roast on a wire rack set over a shallow tray in the oven at 160C for about 15 minutes or the time it takes for the marinade to reach a slow boil. Place the double-bone wingy things skin side down at this stage.
4) Once the marinade has boiled and thickened you can start basting. Turn the marinade down to the lowest setting you can so it keeps its heat. I find it easier to get a big ladle and a pastry brush, using the brust to kind of flick the marinade over and then brush it, rather than baste directly from the saucepan. Once you've basted the first side, use tongs to turn the chicken over and baste the top. The skin on the double-bones should be facing up now.
5) Continue to baste about every 7 minutes or so. Don't worry if you forget, but the more you baste the nicer they'll be. They should be done after 40 minutes - the baste should be sticky and dark golden in colour, and if you insert a skewer into the fattest part of a drummette, the juices should run clear. The double-bone thingies cook faster than the drummettes so if you're concerned you can put them together on a lower shelf but I usually just mix them up because it's such a slow cook and I'm lazy.
6) Allow to rest out of the oven for 5 minutes.
7) Sprinkle a bit of extra pepper over the top and serve with lots of napkins! Makes 40 pieces.

These can easily be reheated, just put them in an lightly oiled baking pan and whack them in a 200C oven for 10-15 minutes, tossing halfway through. I haven't done this but you could also try it with pork spare ribs, just roast the unbasted pork racks until they're almost done and baste the tops in a similar manner. The marinade also makes an awesome stirfry sauce (in much smaller quanities, obviously) for beef or chicken.

[jgcrawfo]

"Inside-out Chicken-Pig Sandwich"]

You need to make this again and take pictures.

[You, sir, name?]

Übercheap noodle-reinforced-potato-mash-thing.

This looks a bit like armored cement, costs virtually nothing, has no nutritions to speak of, and one pot can last for 3-4 servings. It tastes bland if done correctly, terrible if done incorrectly. This is my last-resort food, when I've literally spent every last dime, and it's still a few days away from pay-day, I cook this unspeakable substance.

Requirements:
1 package of instant potato mash.
1 instant noodle package (some flavors work better than others, I'd steer away from shrimp or curry flavors.)

Cooking:
1. Cook noodles in water according to instructions on package.
2. Add seasoning.
3. Remove pot from stove <---- important step, or you'll burn it!
4. Slowly add instant potato mash to the noodle water and stir. If it gets too dry, add water and stir until you get a moist, opaque gel-like substance. It should not be runny, and not too dry.
5. Eat from pot until you're full (should be about one quarter to one half). This saves plates.
6. Make lunch boxes from the rest.

[Azrael]

I bet bulk rice & dried beans costs less than two processed, packaged food stuffs. Way better nutrition too. Hell, toss in some frozen or canned corn (not sure which is the better lb/$) and you're well on the way towards something almost balanced.

If you really have to resort to this frequently, maybe the next time you're a little flush after payday you should invest in 50lb bag of rice.

[Bakemaster]

And it tastes better. Win all around.

[GodShapedBullet]

Übercheap noodle-reinforced-potato-mash-thing.

This looks a bit like armored cement, costs virtually nothing, has no nutritions to speak of, and one pot can last for 3-4 servings. It tastes bland if done correctly, terrible if done incorrectly. This is my last-resort food, when I've literally spent every last dime, and it's still a few days away from pay-day, I cook this unspeakable substance.

Requirements:
1 package of instant potato mash.
1 instant noodle package (some flavors work better than others, I'd steer away from shrimp or curry flavors.)

Cooking:
1. Cook noodles in water according to instructions on package.
2. Add seasoning.
3. Remove pot from stove <---- important step, or you'll burn it!
4. Slowly add instant potato mash to the noodle water and stir. If it gets too dry, add water and stir until you get a moist, opaque gel-like substance. It should not be runny, and not too dry.
5. Eat from pot until you're full (should be about one quarter to one half). This saves plates.
6. Make lunch boxes from the rest.

Does this even taste better than its initial ingredients? Instant noodles can taste really good if you don't have a very picky tongue. You could split the seasoning between the potatoes and the noodles to make sure it all tastes good.

As a general rule, any recipe that makes a meal worse than its ingredients is a failed recipe.

[You, sir, name?]

Does this even taste better than its initial ingredients? Instant noodles can taste really good if you don't have a very picky tongue. You could split the seasoning between the potatoes and the noodles to make sure it all tastes good.

As a general rule, any recipe that makes a meal worse than its ingredients is a failed recipe.

It can taste better with the right flavor of noodles. But it's a bit of a lottery how it turns out if you pick the noodles at random.

[Azrael]

And it tastes better. Win all around.

God help his taste buds if he also got a couple of those big shaker bottles of spices from Mexico. What're those, like $5 a pound?

[Surgery]

"Inside-out Chicken-Pig Sandwich"]

You need to make this again and take pictures.

haha, that might be difficult. i won't have access to sliced pork loin again for a while, but i'll see what i can do. in the mean time, i present to you:

Ingredients

• (2) or (3) idaho brown potatoes
• (4) packages of instant mac and cheese
• (4) hamburger patties
• (a little) vegetable oil
• (5) pearl onions
• (1) small box of sliced shitake mushrooms
• (1) can of green enchilada sauce
• (a little) butter
• Chili powder
• Cheese of your choosing (optional)

Procedure

• Julienne all the onions and set aside in a bowl with a little water in it to keep the onions moist
• Start the burger patties cooking on a grill or flat top or something
• Chop potatoes into small cubes, maybe 1/2 to 3/4 inch on each side or so (you can cut them into real small sticks too, but I prefer the little cubes). Don't forget to check the burgers.
• Put some butter in a pan and sautee the mushrooms until golden brownish. Turn heat way down but not completely off.
• Start the four packages of instant mac and cheese in the microwave. Start, don't finish it just yet.
• Throw the onions in with the mushrooms. Mix. I like the pan flip technique because it works well, doesn't unnecessarily dirty extra utensils, and it tends to impress people who can't do it, bonus points for height, haha. Seriously, I learned how to do it making pasta stir fry for cute girls at my job.
• Pour a little oil into another pan (about a quarter inch of oil) and heat on medium until the oil starts to pop and bubble a little.
• The mac and cheese should be partly done by now, you should have the elbows with some water in them for the cheese sauce to stir into. Because we're going to be putting another kind of sauce in here later, I like to only use 2 or 3 packages of cheese sauce per 4 packages of elbows. Stir the cheese sauce in and leave in microwave to keep warm.]
• Carefully put the potatoes in the oil (if you just dump them in you might splash some hot oil on yourself). Lightly fry the potatoes by letting them sit on one side in the oil for a while, then using a toned down version of the pan flip to get the potatoes to roll around and the oil to kind of slosh over the potatoes (I say toned down because the oil is hot, not because it's a liquid, liquids are quite fun to use the pan flip technique with). Sprinkle some chili powder over the potatoes in between each rolling of them to coat them all around nicely.
• When the potatoes are almost done throw the mushrooms and onions in there with them, so that they further sautee in the oil and juices of the potatoes and chili powder.
• You're burgers should be done by now, if not earlier.
• Pour the mac and cheese and the onion/mushroom/potato mix all into a large pot and mix with something like a big wooden spoon. Mix, do not blend, we don't want the mac and cheese becoming mush.
• Use the same technique I noted in my inside-out-chicken-pig sandwich recipe to melt whatever kind of cheese you like (I enjoy mozzarella or a nice jack and cheddar mix) over your burger patty if you like. For reference that technique is just putting the burger in a hot pan, putting the cheese on top, pouring a little water next to the burger so that it steams up, and covering it with something like a pot lid so that the steam melts the cheese over the burger.
• Scoop out about a bowlful of the mixture from the pot and place the burger on top, add enchilada sauce to taste (I like to put in a fair amount, just past the point of where it seems too much seems to be just right).
• Cut up burger with knife and fork, mix into mixture from pot.
• Admire.
• Eat.
• Fall asleep

Bonus points if you can get a forkful that has a piece of hamburger, a mushroom, some onion, a piece of potato, and some mac and cheese on it all at once.

This should make about four large-ish bowls. Each serving gets a burger patty. So if you are making for five people, make five patties, six people = six patties, etc.

I wrote that from memory, so I might have forgotten something. If something doesn't seem right let me know and I'll fix it. That's my take on the garbage plate that Nick Tahoes made so famous. I think it's better than what the garbage plates they serve now, and possibly what they served before (my room mate also has his own version that he says is better than what they used to serve, so it follows that it's better than what they serve now too). Enjoy.

[wisnij]

My favorite dinner to prepare which actually requires the application of heat, cribbed from Good Eats:

Software:

• 4-6 chicken legs and/or thighs
• ~40 garlic cloves, or 20 cloves + 10 shallots split down the middle
• a handful of fresh parsley, sage, and thyme
• 1/2 cup olive oil
• salt (kosher, ideally)

Hardware:

• a large sauté or frying pan
• an ovenproof cooking vessel with a lid (ideally, these two are the same item)
• oven set to 350 degrees F

Procedure:

1. Season the chicken on both sides with salt.
2. Brown skin-side down in the pan with a few teaspoons of the oil until golden brown.
3. If using a separate vessel for baking, transfer the chicken pieces to it. Add garlic, shallots if you're using them, and herbs, and pour the rest of the oil over everything.
4. Place in oven and bake for 1.5 hours.

Every time I make this I serve it with garlic bread, made by brushing slices of French bread on both sides with the now herb-and-garlic infused oil, sprinkling on a little kosher salt, then putting these under the broiler until browned. Spread on some garlic cloves (they'll be soft enough to do that with a butter knife) and you've got the best garlic bread ever. The leftover oil is great for... well, everything.

[wisnij]

... in other news, does anyone know different kanji for things like chicken, beef, pork, lamb, etc? I keep trying to find just chicken and... I can't. It's all pork, and I don't usually eat pork (no religious reason, I just know of all the nasty parasites that can be in pork)

Beef: 牛
Lamb: 子羊
Chicken: 鳥 (actually that means "bird", but usually indicates chicken when applied to poultry)
Pork: 豚
Fish: 魚

Often times these will be suffixed with 肉 niku, "meat".

Parasites in pork are generally not a problem in modern times, since commercially-grown pigs don't scrounge for garbage as they did back in our grandparents' day. Trichinosis larvae can't survive beyond 140 degrees F anyway, which is pretty under-done for pork. I leave my pork chops just a little bit pink in the middle, and it's fine.

[Azrael]

... cribbed from Good Eats

You, sir, are approved!

[wisnij]

... cribbed from Good Eats

You, sir, are approved!

Alton > *. He's the hacker's chef.

[jskyhawk]

Belgian Liege Waffles (Sugar Waffles)

1 (1/4 ounce) package yeast
1/3 cup lukewarm water
1 1/2 tablespoons granulated sugar
1/8 teaspoon salt
2 cups flour
3 eggs
1 cup softened butter
1 cup pearl sugar (substitute semi-crushed suger cubes)

1. Mix yeast, water, sugar and salt, and let develop for 15 minutes.
2. Place flour into a large bowl.
3. Make a well, pour in yeast mixture, and begin to knead.
4. Continue to knead, add eggs, one at a time, and add soft butter, 2 tablespoons each addition, mixing well.
5. Let dough rest in bowl until doubled.
6. Gently mix in pearl sugar.
7. Let rest for 15 minutes.
8. Heat waffle iron.
9. When hot, butter waffle iron, pour in 3 tablespoons dough per waffle.
10. Cook for 3-5 minutes, until waffles lightly brown on top.
11. Serve warm or room temperature.
12. Enjoy!

Your batter will be heavy when you finish it, it will not be like the waffle batter you are accustomed to... much more cakey. I can't find pearl suger anywhere, I've heard on the interwebs IKEA has it, but semi-crushed suger cubes work fine.

[Zohar]

What sort of yeast do you use? Dry yeasts? In Israel we have two types - "dry" yeasts which come in plastic bags and "fresh" yeasts which come in cubes and you can freeze them, I think. I really need to learn more about the use of yeast...

[jskyhawk]

What sort of yeast do you use? Dry yeasts? In Israel we have two types - "dry" yeasts which come in plastic bags and "fresh" yeasts which come in cubes and you can freeze them, I think. I really need to learn more about the use of yeast...

I use dry yeast. I don't think it matters much, yeast is yeast.

[What I Dreamt]

<sub>have delicious salami?
add delicious cream cheese.

roll it up like a burrito,
and you have salami rolls</sub>



it sounds disgusting, i'm aware.

[wisnij]

What sort of yeast do you use? Dry yeasts? In Israel we have two types - "dry" yeasts which come in plastic bags and "fresh" yeasts which come in cubes and you can freeze them, I think. I really need to learn more about the use of yeast...

I use dry yeast. I don't think it matters much, yeast is yeast.

It's really not. Dry yeast (unless it's labeled "instant") is mostly dead, and has to be bloomed in warm water before use. Fresh yeast doesn't, but it goes bad very easily.