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Time to get confrontational about peanut butter

Posted: Thu May 17, 2007 1:07 am UTC
by xooll
(inspired by the banana/peanut butter thread)

Choose your side, and let the battle begin:

Creamy or Chunky?

Posted: Thu May 17, 2007 1:14 am UTC
by Peshmerga
...


Chunky. Anyone who disagrees is a monster.

Posted: Thu May 17, 2007 1:15 am UTC
by Strychnos
Chunky. Hella chunky.

Posted: Thu May 17, 2007 1:17 am UTC
by PS_Mouse
Funny you should mention that Pesh.
Personally, I like long walks on the beach, smooth peanut butter and systematically eroding the human soul.

Posted: Thu May 17, 2007 1:19 am UTC
by aldimond
Peshmerga wrote:...


Chunky. Anyone who disagrees is a monster.


QFT.

And not just chunky peanut butter, but the good kind of chunky peanut butter without hydrogenated oils.

On a sammich with bananas, honey and almonds, made with a rough, sprouty bread.

Posted: Thu May 17, 2007 1:27 am UTC
by xooll
I've always been a creamy peanut butter man myself, but lately circumstance has forced me to use chunky. For pbj, this is wretched. For pbh (the "h" representing honey. Or Planck's constant, if you prefer.) the chunky is actually preferable, though...

I am very conflicted.

Posted: Thu May 17, 2007 1:32 am UTC
by NightStar
I've been semi-quoted in a thread title...w00t!

I prefer smooth...chunky confuses my mouth. It's like, smooth tastiness...HARD CRUNCHY PART!...smooth tastiness...HARD CRUNCHY PART! That's just too much textural craziness.

Posted: Thu May 17, 2007 1:35 am UTC
by Belial
Chunky.

And can I take this moment to say: FUCK natural peanut butter. It tastes like absolute ass. Every three months or so, I say to myself "I like things that are natural and organic. I like peanut butter. Theoretically, I should like both of these things together."

And then I buy some. And I put it on something. And I eat it. Then I throw the jar away.

And then in three months I forget again. DAMN YOU ORGANIC PEANUT BUTTER!

Posted: Thu May 17, 2007 1:36 am UTC
by Gelsamel
Either way.

Posted: Thu May 17, 2007 1:39 am UTC
by aldimond
Assuming we're talking about the same "natural" peanut butter, I think it tastes much more peanutty and less buttery. I also think the texture is more becoming of something I'd want to ingest.

I ate tons of normal hydrogenated oil-laden peanut butter up to a few years ago, and I doubt I'd have any trouble eating tons of it now, but I haven't bought any for ages.

Posted: Thu May 17, 2007 1:40 am UTC
by Anmorata
Ooh, definitely creamy, as of late (due to a myriad of reasons, including but not limited to dental work). But all in all, just hand over the peanut butter and no one gets hurt.

Posted: Thu May 17, 2007 1:44 am UTC
by SpitValve
Just to get extra contraversial, here we don't call them creamy or chunky. Here we call them smooth or crunchy.

And Crunchy is the winner.

Posted: Thu May 17, 2007 1:48 am UTC
by Ren
Belial wrote:Chunky.

And can I take this moment to say: FUCK natural peanut butter. It tastes like absolute ass. Every three months or so, I say to myself "I like things that are natural and organic. I like peanut butter. Theoretically, I should like both of these things together."

And then I buy some. And I put it on something. And I eat it. Then I throw the jar away.

And then in three months I forget again. DAMN YOU ORGANIC PEANUT BUTTER!


Yes, yes, and FUCK YES.
My friend always has a jar of chunky organic peanut butter in the studio, and he is always going on about it, and I've tried it and it's gross. GROSS. When you have to stir it first before you can eat it, because all the oil has risen to the top? When it doesn't spread properly? When it leaves you feeling like you've eaten too many stale peanuts? When it covers up the delicious taste of blackberry jelly in a sandwich?
Yech.

Chunky and processed, thank you very much.

Posted: Thu May 17, 2007 2:46 am UTC
by MFHodge
I'm split at about 70/30 in favor of smooth/creamy. I haven't made a PBJ in a while . . .

Posted: Thu May 17, 2007 2:49 am UTC
by ArchangelShrike
Restaurants I've worked at use chunky. If restaurants use it, it must be better...

Posted: Thu May 17, 2007 2:52 am UTC
by The LuigiManiac
Smooth and processed, I love it with honey, and I don't like jelly.

(I'm a picky eater)

Posted: Thu May 17, 2007 2:56 am UTC
by The Sleeping Tyrant
Smooth.

Chunky poses too many problems for me. Least of all my limited spreading prowess means it takes much longer than it should.

Posted: Thu May 17, 2007 3:03 am UTC
by Lani
Creamy for cooking, either for eating on toast.

Posted: Thu May 17, 2007 3:22 am UTC
by TheTankengine
I haven't eaten peanut butter from a jar in at least 2 years. My friend margaret made a double layer chocolate cake with peanut butter chips in the middle for for my friend's birthday a couple weeks ago and it was fucking delicious.

Thus, I only eat peanut butter chips. I guess that would have to be classified as smooth :(

Posted: Thu May 17, 2007 3:26 am UTC
by The Mighty Thesaurus
Chunky for the win.

Posted: Thu May 17, 2007 3:26 am UTC
by apricity
Chunky is WAY better.

Unless you have very crumbly bread.

Posted: Thu May 17, 2007 4:02 am UTC
by warriorness
Ren wrote:
Belial wrote:Chunky.

And can I take this moment to say: FUCK natural peanut butter. It tastes like absolute ass. Every three months or so, I say to myself "I like things that are natural and organic. I like peanut butter. Theoretically, I should like both of these things together."

And then I buy some. And I put it on something. And I eat it. Then I throw the jar away.

And then in three months I forget again. DAMN YOU ORGANIC PEANUT BUTTER!


Yes, yes, and FUCK YES.
My friend always has a jar of chunky organic peanut butter in the studio, and he is always going on about it, and I've tried it and it's gross. GROSS. When you have to stir it first before you can eat it, because all the oil has risen to the top? When it doesn't spread properly? When it leaves you feeling like you've eaten too many stale peanuts? When it covers up the delicious taste of blackberry jelly in a sandwich?
Yech.


What, this kind?

Image

No way! That's the best kind! If you don't have to stir it, then it's not real peanut butter. Now, "organic" peanut butter is a totally different story. I can't stand that shit - just hearing the phrase itself brings back memory of the bad taste.

I'm a chunky person by the way. When I was a kid, I wouldn't touch chunky with a ten foot pole, but my tastes have matured since then (just like how when I was a kid I couldn't tell the difference between hershey's and the finest belgian chocolate if it came up and cut my arms off).

Posted: Thu May 17, 2007 4:04 am UTC
by Belial
What, this kind?

Image


Yes. Sweet Geb YES. That shit is awful. It tastes like eating wet, peanut-flavoured *sand*.

Posted: Thu May 17, 2007 4:06 am UTC
by warriorness
*cries*

Posted: Thu May 17, 2007 4:10 am UTC
by Jach
Personally I'll take whatever's given to me (except perhaps organic; I've never tasted the stuff but it sounds like I don't want to). But if I have to choose at a grocery store... I'd probably go with the creamy.

Posted: Thu May 17, 2007 4:12 am UTC
by Berge
Chunky peanut butter is excellent if the roof of your mouth is some sort of ultra reinforced resilient flesh. But you'd know all about that, wouldn't you raptor?

As a human, I find it causes pain when not consumed with the proper caution. And do you want to have to be careful while eating peanut butter? Assuredly not.

Posted: Thu May 17, 2007 4:24 am UTC
by Tractor
So...many...misguided 'crunchy' lovers.

Creamy, bitches!

Posted: Thu May 17, 2007 4:26 am UTC
by Belial
Chunky peanut butter is excellent if the roof of your mouth is some sort of ultra reinforced resilient flesh. But you'd know all about that, wouldn't you raptor?


Some of us have flesh on the tops of our mouths, and not rice paper. But you wouldn't know about that, would you, pansy?

Posted: Thu May 17, 2007 4:28 am UTC
by Tractor
Belial wrote:Some of us have flesh on the tops of our mouths, and not rice paper. But you wouldn't know about that, would you, pansy?


And the gauntlet(claw-sheath?) has been thrown. :shock:
Peanut butter fight!

Posted: Thu May 17, 2007 4:36 am UTC
by Berge
I may have quite literally bitten off more than I can chew with this one.

Posted: Thu May 17, 2007 4:50 am UTC
by Phenriz
i prefer creamy peanut butter, but i also like 1 layer of bread saturated with jelly, so what do i know?

Posted: Thu May 17, 2007 4:51 am UTC
by Tractor
Phenriz wrote:i prefer creamy peanut butter, but i also like 1 layer of bread saturated with jelly, so what do i know?


You forgot the Fluff in there...

Posted: Thu May 17, 2007 5:07 am UTC
by Mighty Jalapeno
Crunchy, and natural.

Ingredients: Peanuts

THANK you. Even better, it's CHEAPER than the 'normal' kind.
Berge wrote:As a human, I find it causes pain when not consumed with the proper caution. And do you want to have to be careful while eating peanut butter? Assuredly not.

Of course not, because we're not prepubescent girls with brittle bone disease and a pink unicorn fetish.

Posted: Thu May 17, 2007 5:41 am UTC
by NightStar
SEE? See what happens when you get controversial about peanut butter? Warriorness is crying in the corner, and Belial's about to start eating flesh instead of chunky.

Posted: Thu May 17, 2007 6:03 am UTC
by niko7865
I grind my own, and I don't care enough to add chunks of peanuts to the resut so it's always creamy :(

Posted: Thu May 17, 2007 6:03 am UTC
by King Matt I
creamy, non-natural peanut butter is the best

Posted: Thu May 17, 2007 6:42 am UTC
by ArchangelShrike
And so the smooth pb-ians faced off against the chunky/crunchy pb-ians, who both persecuted the organic pb-ians for their travesty. But the post counts rose above, and the winner was clear: the crunchy pb-ians.

Bonus points for the book.

Posted: Thu May 17, 2007 6:54 am UTC
by UmbrageOfSnow
Berge wrote:I may have quite literally bitten off more than I can chew with this one.


But that is the beauty of smooth peanut butter, you don't have to chew it, if you need to you can just wash it down with your beverage of choice. And with those big teeth made only for ripping and tearing, I'm surprised these raptors can get the crunchy stuff down at all, despite their leathery mouths. And if they aren't chewing the crunchy, then their favoritism is plainly irrational and unjustified. We may lose in physical combat, but in the Peanut Butter Battle, we humans still have a fighting chance.

Posted: Thu May 17, 2007 7:07 am UTC
by FiddleMath
Actually, I find crunchy far more comfortable. The tongue effort required by pulling all the creamy peanut butter + cruft stuck to the roof of my mouth, every single bite, is really annoying. Crunchy doesn't make that happen.

Posted: Thu May 17, 2007 7:13 am UTC
by UmbrageOfSnow
FiddleMath wrote:Actually, I find crunchy far more comfortable. The tongue effort required by pulling all the creamy peanut butter + cruft stuck to the roof of my mouth, every single bite, is really annoying. Crunchy doesn't make that happen.


If you complain in real life as much as you do on the internet, soon you won't have anything to worry about. And there are other ways to get tongue exercise, as your mother or any other good "seamstress" can tell you. Say what you want about her looks and her herpes, when it comes to using her tongue, your mother knows exactly what she is doing. Smooth peanut butter is no problem for her I'm sure.