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Re: The Chronicles of Quelouva

Posted: Wed Nov 22, 2017 6:52 pm UTC
by Pfhorrest
ucim wrote:So I presume sxe (i.e. 2x13) is season x episode. I was wondering (and I think it was even my own suggestion).

Indeed it was, and a good one at that :)

I'm not scared of time travel; upload away!

It is done. :)

Re: The Chronicles of Quelouva

Posted: Thu Nov 23, 2017 2:23 am UTC
by ucim
I just realized that I've been mentally pronouncing the title wrong... in my excuse of a mind I think "kehvlovia". (It's not the worst case of misreading I've done, but I guess it shows... something. :) ) Now I'm thinking "kehloova"? What's in your mind? Whence the name?

Jose

Re: The Chronicles of Quelouva

Posted: Thu Nov 23, 2017 8:32 am UTC
by Pfhorrest
ucim wrote:I just realized that I've been mentally pronouncing the title wrong... in my excuse of a mind I think "kehvlovia". (It's not the worst case of misreading I've done, but I guess it shows... something. :) ) Now I'm thinking "kehloova"? What's in your mind? Whence the name?

Jose

Kwel-oh-vah, back-derived from PIE ‘kwel’ “spiral” and ‘pha’ “light”, because in-universe PIE is a creole of the Ehrban language and whatever humans were speaking in central Eurasia near the end of the Pleistocene.

Re: The Chronicles of Quelouva

Posted: Fri Nov 24, 2017 4:06 pm UTC
by ucim
Cool. Where's the accentuation?

Jose

Re: The Chronicles of Quelouva

Posted: Fri Nov 24, 2017 9:27 pm UTC
by Pfhorrest
ucim wrote:Cool. Where's the accentuation?

Jose

Second syllable.

Re: The Chronicles of Quelouva

Posted: Tue Nov 28, 2017 7:15 am UTC
by Pfhorrest
Man, so I just scheduled how much "cleanup" I have to do in the next month, and it's a lot more than I expected it was going to be. These are the episodes that are insufficiently fleshed out, and when I'm going to try to get them done:

This week:

-Future Perfect 1.2
-Future Perfect 1.3

-Future Perfect 2.1
-Future Perfect 2.2
-Future Perfect 2.3

Next week:

-Life in Another World 1.1
-Life in Another World 1.2
-Life in Another World 1.3

-Life in Another World 2.1

-Life in Another World 3.1
-Life in Another World 3.2
-Life in Another World 3.3

Week after next:

-Death and the Other World 1.1
-Death and the Other World 1.2
-Death and the Other World 1.3

-Death and the Other World 2.1
-Death and the Other World 2.2
-Death and the Other World 2.3

-Death and the Other World 3.1
-Death and the Other World 3.2
-Death and the Other World 3.3

Week before Christmas:

-Pantheon Exodus 2.2
-Pantheon Exodus 2.3

-Pantheon Exodus 3.1
-Pantheon Exodus 3.2

Last week of the year:

-Pantheon Synthesis 1.1
-Pantheon Synthesis 1.2
-Pantheon Synthesis 1.3

-Pantheon Synthesis 2.1
-Pantheon Synthesis 2.2
-Pantheon Synthesis 2.3

-Pantheon Synthesis 3.1
-Pantheon Synthesis 3.2
-Pantheon Synthesis 3.3

Re: The Chronicles of Quelouva

Posted: Wed Nov 29, 2017 5:33 am UTC
by Pfhorrest
Tonight as scheduled I expanded Future Perfect part 1 (mostly episodes 2 and 3) to the minimum standard level of detail I'm aiming for this year.

Fun fact: that story (Future Perfect part 1) was, in a not-too-different earlier form, the one that came closest to ever seeing the light of day before now, being the story I picked out of the larger fictional universe in which to set a video game called "Dynasty: The True Story of Long Xian" that my failed startup company, Sphidia, attempted to create back in 2001ish. That story is also sorta the origin of Xio as a character (Han Xian-zi was his original name, out-of-universe, though it's just a pseudonym in-universe), and expansion on that character concept eventually gave rise to the entire Foundation and thence Pantheon concepts, and therefore the backbone of the entire Oumen saga. (Which was, prior to those developments, just the "Future Continuous" mission to Asiron, and a proto-version of the "Future Prospective" story about Sol interplanetary politics and the eventual Ehrban/Berol encounters, with no Foundation around).

Re: The Chronicles of Quelouva

Posted: Thu Nov 30, 2017 5:17 am UTC
by Pfhorrest
Tonight I expanded Future Perfect part 2 as well.

It occurs to me that right now all of those Future Perfect stories are still written from a perspective assuming you already know all about the Foundation and the Pantheon, but in the new narrative order these events are actually the first you see if any Foundation activity on or around Earth. (Having had no idea who or what they were in Future Continuous). I like that change, since it helps to set up the mystery of the Foundation before they're finally revealed in Future Prospective, but right now it's not written in a way that teases that mystery properly, and I'm too tired to go back and change it now.

Re: The Chronicles of Quelouva

Posted: Fri Dec 01, 2017 7:06 am UTC
by Pfhorrest
I got around to cleaning up the narration of Future Perfect a bit tonight, to no longer expect that the audience has read Future Prospective or the Pantheon series already.

Also, I came up with better names for the Future series, finally coming up with ways to name it after the Foundation as I had initially wanted:

- Shadow of the Foundation (nee Future Perfect / Within the Eye of Chaos / Opening the Eye of Chaos)
Because the Foundation is a shadowy secret organization shaping world history from the shadows in these parts.

- Veil of the Foundation (nee Future Continuous / Beyond the Eye of Chaos)
Because "veil" is the catchiest near-synonym for "penumbra" I could find, something between shadow and light.

- Light of the Foundation (nee Future Prospective / Across the Eye of Chaos / Through the Eye of Chaos)
Because the Foundation is finally exposed to the light of public knowledge in these parts.

Re: The Chronicles of Quelouva

Posted: Wed Dec 06, 2017 7:43 am UTC
by Pfhorrest
fire has indefinitely postponed this week ‘s writing

Re: The Chronicles of Quelouva

Posted: Sat Dec 09, 2017 1:32 am UTC
by lmjb1964
What kind of fire? Are you near the fires in California? I hope you're ok.

Since it sounds like you have more important things to deal with, I'll just eave here a reminder about a typo I found:

http://www.geekofalltrades.org/chronicles/3/2/1/1/2/

"those who could not bare her madness" should read
"those who could not bear her madness"

Also on that page:
"as painful as death but without the release thereof thereafter"
It seems to me that there should be a comma after "death." Also, "thereof thereafter" seems a little awkward.

Stay safe.

Re: The Chronicles of Quelouva

Posted: Sat Dec 09, 2017 3:49 am UTC
by Pfhorrest
Yeah I live in Ojai. See the Thomas Fire thread in news subforum for full details. And thanks for the notes!

Re: The Chronicles of Quelouva

Posted: Tue Dec 19, 2017 7:22 pm UTC
by ucim
Given the many multiple threads in the Chronicles, and the temporal interlacing, I thought you might be interested in this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GFMyMxMYDNk (youtube link)
https://safeshare.tv/submit?url=https%3 ... FMyMxMYDNk (the same link viewed through safeshare.tv, which lets you view videos without the cruft)

"How Star Wars (the original) was save in the edit". About 20 minutes, shows how the order in which things are presented (and sometimes, omitting things that unnecessarily interrupt the flow) makes such a difference. Also a nice re-visit to the Star Wars world. :)

Jose

Re: The Chronicles of Quelouva

Posted: Wed Dec 20, 2017 8:22 am UTC
by Pfhorrest
Tonight I miraculously expanded all of the Life in Another World stories I meant to expand two weeks ago.

Maybe if I can keep up this pace I can do the Death and the Other World stuff I meant to last week tomorrow night, and then the Pantheon Exodus stuff I had scheduled for this week on Thursday.

Also, that's a cool link Jose. Thanks.

Re: The Chronicles of Quelouva

Posted: Thu Dec 21, 2017 8:28 am UTC
by Pfhorrest
tonight i expanded death and the other world part 1 but then depression gave me writer's block on parts 2 and 3

Re: The Chronicles of Quelouva

Posted: Fri Dec 22, 2017 12:56 am UTC
by lmjb1964
:( Depression sucks. Hang in there!

Re: The Chronicles of Quelouva

Posted: Fri Dec 22, 2017 1:02 am UTC
by GnomeAnne
I was planning on reading all the new Quelouva content this weekend, but it will have to wait for Tuesday.

Someone else mentioned they were pronouncing it incorrectly in their head.
I thought it was quevlouva, even though I've typed it correctly several Tims I still pronounced it to myself with an extra v.

Re: The Chronicles of Quelouva

Posted: Fri Dec 22, 2017 6:28 am UTC
by Pfhorrest
That delay may be for the best GnomeAnne, as it may give me time to ketchup on my backlog of expansion work.

Speaking of which, tonight I managed to expand the parts of Pantheon Exodus I had planned to do this week, but I'm feeling too shitty to catch up on the parts of Death and the Other World I couldn't do yesterday. Maybe I will try to work that in slowly next week as I put the finishing touches on Pantheon Synthesis.

Re: The Chronicles of Quelouva

Posted: Wed Dec 27, 2017 1:50 am UTC
by Pfhorrest
Tonight I expanded Pantheon Synthesis Part 1 as scheduled. Still no progress catching up on Death and the Other World though. I may have a little more time than expected to work on it this week though, so... maybe.

Re: The Chronicles of Quelouva

Posted: Thu Dec 28, 2017 5:33 am UTC
by Pfhorrest
Tonight I expanded Pantheon Synthesis Part 2 as scheduled. Part 3 looks like it's going to be more difficult than anticipated. I'm really glad I have that extra day this week to try to finish off that and maybe still Death and the Other World before the end of the world year.

Re: The Chronicles of Quelouva

Posted: Fri Dec 29, 2017 5:53 am UTC
by Pfhorrest
Tonight I expanded Pantheon Synthesis Part 3, and it was more fun than I had feared. At the last minute I got inspired and actually had something worth writing about in that largely empty space, something that ties the end of Pantheon Synthesis in with the new beginning of Shadow of the Foundation a little better.

Still have to come up with a whole lot of new stuff to flesh out Death and the Other World, though. That's a tall order to do in one night tomorrow. But I will try. One more night of writing before the end of the world year.

THE CHRONICLES OF QUELOUVA ARE more DONEer-ish

Posted: Sat Dec 30, 2017 6:25 am UTC
by Pfhorrest
Tonight I expanded the parts (2 and 3) of Death and the Other World that I failed to expand before, and I also made a few little tiny adjustments here and there that I've been writing notes to myself about, and so as of now with barely a weekend left to go in this year, the Chronicles of Quelouva are DONE, or as done as I ever hoped to get them this year.

It's still a really sketchy outline that doesn't read pretty or anything, but all the basic structure is laid out there in what, if my estimates are correct, should be something over 60,000 words.

And now, except for fixes prompted by folks like all you lovely people commenting on it, I think I'm going to leave it alone for at least next year. After that, who knows.

Re: The Chronicles of Quelouva

Posted: Thu Jan 04, 2018 1:21 am UTC
by GnomeAnne
I have finished skimming the episode overviews up to where I left off back in October. The early parts of the story are far more interesting to read now that I know how they are connected and can see the threads of narrative holding them together.

This wipend I hope to start reading Terra Resurgent, but it might get put off until nextwip, since there are outside things needing to be done at some point.

Congratulations on finishing this step in the writing process.
Right on schedule even.


File hosting:
Spoiler:
PART_1519019926875_IMG_20180116_141029.jpg
The world turned into a study in grey.

PART_1519019948012_IMG_20180218_212159.jpg
Then it turned into winter.

PART_1519019987137_IMG_20180218_212355.jpg
I won't drive in it, I won't even walk in it. Because I would fall down and go "ouch"

imagejpeg_5.jpg
Can you see that?

PART_1519023600400_IMG_20180218_225624.jpg
Grasp! It snowed more!

PART_1519023657015_IMG_20180218_225656.jpg
Snow on the stairs!

PART_1519023720480_IMG_20180218_225641.jpg
Look how much more is on the bench!

Re: The Chronicles of Quelouva

Posted: Thu Jan 04, 2018 2:12 am UTC
by Pfhorrest
GnomeAnne wrote:I have finished skimming the episode overviews up to where I left off back in October. The early parts of the story are far more interesting to read now that I know how they are connected and can see the threads of narrative holding them together.

Hurray for re-read value! :-D

Congratulations on finishing this step in the writing process.
Right on schedule even.

Thanks!

Re: The Chronicles of Quelouva

Posted: Thu Jan 11, 2018 2:56 am UTC
by Pfhorrest
Just wanted to share another bit of music that inspired part of the Chronicles, since I happened to be listening to it.

Blind Guardian's "Nightfall in Middle-Earth" is sort of my soundtrack for the Darklight series.

Specifically, the title track Nightfall is what I imagine accompanying the plunge of the Sword of Darklight into Old Sphidia, sundering it into the two lands of elves and vampires.

And the climactic A Dark Passage is what I imagine accompanying the Queen of Hell's apotheosis, especially her destruction of the sun and moon.

But the entire rest of the album is pretty awesome too, and I highly recommend listening to it from start to finish for the full experience.

Re: The Chronicles of Quelouva

Posted: Thu Jan 25, 2018 5:13 am UTC
by Pfhorrest
GnomeAnne wrote:This wipend I hope to start reading Terra Resurgent, but it might get put off until nextwip, since there are outside things needing to be done at some point.

No rush because I totally understand Outside things swallowing you whole, just wanted to poke in case this maybe slipped your mind. :)

Re: The Chronicles of Quelouva

Posted: Thu Jan 25, 2018 5:45 am UTC
by GnomeAnne
Actually I was just thinking to myself yesterday "Wasn't I going to read the rest of Quelouva at some point?"

Speaking of being swallowed whole by the outside...

I've had an interesting week.
My pickup died, and I decided to buy a car to drive while I figured out what was wrong with it, and then I would have something cheaper on gas as well. I borrowed my sister's car and had my co worker give me a ride to go get it. Well it turns out she hadn't changed the oil since she got it several years ago, so it seized up a block from the place that I was purchasing the car from.
We walked there and I bought the car.
It ran a little rough at highway speeds, I thought an injector was probably dirty, easy fix right? But then the day before yesterday it died, turns out the alternator was shot, it had been running on battery power only. I left that car on the side of the interstate, took the battery, and got my brother to come pick me up, so I could charge the battery to at least get the car home where I could fix it.
Meanwhile I found a third gen camaro that was fairly inexpensive, figured I'd get that, drive it until I fixed my car, and then keep it as a project car, since I had an almost identical one that I had swapped in an LS1 and then blown the transmission. I was planning to put a standard transmission in my old one instead of the 700r4 that it had, but running the linkages to convert it from automatic is a major pain and I'd been putting it off. But this new one already had a standard, so it was perfect.

Until, not 24 hours after I got it, I ran over a screw and of course it was at night after all the shops had closed.

So I had to walk ten blocks home, pull the wheels off my old camaro, (since the tires were a different size I had to change both sides) and walk ten blocks back carrying two wheels and a jack.
Then today I got a ride to my other car, put the battery in it and it turns out the reason it had been running rough was that it wasn't getting enough voltage, so instead of cleaning an injector I have to replace the alternator, and the engineers at Ford decided it would be a good idea to need to pull the motor to get the alternator off, so that's what I'm doing this weekend instead of going to a robotics competition like I had planned.

Re: The Chronicles of Quelouva

Posted: Thu Jan 25, 2018 7:08 am UTC
by Pfhorrest
Oh my god that sounds awful. I'm in the middle of the latest of a string of horrible car problems myself and I wish I had the skills you seem to have to be able to fix your own vehicles (and the financial resources to replace them as need be like that).

Just over two years ago, I rolled the 99 Oldsmobile Intrigue that had been my one and only car for almost five years prior (and best and most reliable car ever), driving in the mountains when the first snow here in my adult life hit and the roads iced over as soon as it turned dark. Crawled out of my overturned car miraculously unharmed into the snow miles from nowhere in the black of night just in time to hitch a ride from the only other car out there. Within a week or two, found and bought a 97 Cadillac DeVille, the most expensive vehicle I'd ever bought but it was in great condition with ridiculously low miles. Put my life on hold for four months to recover the expense of it.

Six months later (two months after catching up from the expense), at my first oil change, my mechanic did a full diagnostic on it as part of the oil change service and found a whole host of non-urgent problems that he recommended I slowly fix up, maybe one per oil change. Altogether they'd add another 50-75% onto the price of the car.

A year after that, right after getting one of those fixed, my air conditioner blower fan burned out, which I desperately need in the sweltering hot summers we get here, and because of some stupid design decisions on the part of GM that cost me another month of putting everything on hold to pay for that.

A month later, my service engine light comes on, and it turns out the next of those planned non-urgent repairs (spark plugs) had become urgent, so I needed to do that five months early, setting me back another month, now three months behind.

Not a week after getting it back from that, it starts intermittently not starting like the battery is dead, then I get a jump and it runs fine for another day or two and then won't start again. Took it in, battery checks out fine, alternator checks out fine, upon deeper investigation turns out one of the computers is shot, which is going to set me back another two months. Seeing how that's another 50% the purchase price, I ask him to check the engine first and make sure that the rest of the car is in good condition and I'm not about to blow a head gasket or something that would just total the whole car. He checks it out and says it's fine and I okay it. But when he puts the brand new computer in, that immediately fries too. Spends another two months (at no additional charge thankfully, and loaning me one of his personal cars meanwhile) checking over the entire electrical system wire by wire until he finds the fault, and fixes that, and installs a new computer. And details the whole car and changes all my fluids and generally gives it back to me like it's brand new.

Not a week after getting it back from that, my coolant level light comes on, right as I need to evacuate from the Thomas fire. I top off the coolant before leaving. No more coolant warning, but it gets warmer than I've ever seen it during the evacuation, but that was in stop and go traffic over a mountain pass with a car loaded down with all my worldly possessions, so that figures. Thankfully my mechanic is in the neighboring city I evacuated to. Took the car to him, he checks for leaks, tops off the coolant again, gives it back to me to test drive around at no charge still, coolant light eventually comes back on again, eventually he finds a leak in the radiator and replaces that, lets me drive it home before paying him and on the way home it overheats, like, bright flashing "STOP ENGINE NOW" warning kind of overheating, just three blocks from my house. The mechanic sends a tow truck to pick me up free of charge, spends another couple of days looking into it, and then as I'm hoping to head back home (un-evacuate) for the holidays, he concludes that I have a cracked engine block that's making the head gasket bolts come loose (and so let exhaust vent into the coolant system), apparently a chronic problem with this year-model, and that repair is going to set me back yet another six months, even after he gave me a credit for over half the cost of the electronics repair because he said the engine was fine before I okayed that.

I'm expecting that repair to be done around the end of this month. At least he's letting me borrow one of his own cars again meanwhile, and he's going to let me pay it off month by month with no interest since I'm already so far behind on my finances. But that still all adds up to basically a whole year of putting everything else in my life (that requires money) on hold just trying to get a reliable fucking car again.

I never should have gone for that drive in the mountains two years ago. Ironically, before deciding to do that, I was on my way to the bank to look into starting an investment account, something that has been seriously impeded by all this fucking car work ever since then.

Re: The Chronicles of Quelouva

Posted: Thu Jan 25, 2018 7:30 am UTC
by GnomeAnne
Damn, you've got a good mechanic.

Pfhorrest wrote:and the financial resources to replace them as need be like that

Used to have.
No longer do.
I can't afford to buy a new alternator until I get paid tomorrow.

Re: The Chronicles of Quelouva

Posted: Wed Jan 31, 2018 2:36 am UTC
by GnomeAnne
Got some free Tim, read some Quelouva.

Fascinating political maneuvering and layer upon layer of deception and intrigue.

Got the doc edited as well.

More pictures being hosted here for use by Addams.
Spoiler:
imagejpeg_0.jpg

PART_1518818688405_IMG_20180215_123045.jpg

PART_1518818442017_IMG_20180215_151439.jpg

Re: The Chronicles of Quelouva

Posted: Wed Jan 31, 2018 5:38 am UTC
by Pfhorrest
Awesomesauce, thanks as always! Your edits have all been implemented. :-)

Re: The Chronicles of Quelouva

Posted: Wed Jan 31, 2018 11:47 am UTC
by GnomeAnne
The science-savvy one I meant more as a comment than a criticism, since the way it was written was entirely correct, but this way is fine too.

File hosting, move along.
Spoiler:
IMG_20180204_151411.jpg

Re: The Chronicles of Quelouva

Posted: Wed Jan 31, 2018 5:42 pm UTC
by Pfhorrest
I know, and I liked your comment and thought it would be better to be more inclusive of the other groups you mentioned and not just scientists. :)

Re: The Chronicles of Quelouva

Posted: Sun Feb 18, 2018 8:45 pm UTC
by GnomeAnne
I wrote:even though those minds are human minds merely remote-controlling mechanical bodies
Are they remote? I was assuming embedded. Do they have a central physical location?

Oh, this gets answered two paragraphs later.

This happens a lot. I'll have a question about the story that answers itself before I can even submit the question.
Pfhorrest wrote:What I want more than anything is feedback on things that don't make sense or aren't explained well enough or anything like that.

All the feedback I have so far is that most questions I have are explained (or handwaved) fairly quickly as I keep reading.

(proofed through 3/3/3/1)
When I finish the main story do you want me to skim the higher level pages for errors, or is the current site temporary?

Re: The Chronicles of Quelouva

Posted: Sun Feb 18, 2018 11:47 pm UTC
by Pfhorrest
GnomeAnne wrote:This happens a lot. I'll have a question about the story that answers itself before I can even submit the question.

Is that a good thing or a bad thing?

Pfhorrest wrote:What I want more than anything is feedback on things that don't make sense or aren't explained well enough or anything like that.

All the feedback I have so far is that most questions I have are explained (or handwaved) fairly quickly as I keep reading.

That sound good to me. Thanks!

(proofed through 3/3/3/1)

Awesome, I'll check it out after the weekend. :-)

When I finish the main story do you want me to skim the higher level pages for errors, or is the current site temporary?

Yes please if you don't mind, though I don't expect there will be much to find there as it's all basically one-sentence synopses, with a lot of redundancies between pages.

Re: The Chronicles of Quelouva

Posted: Sun Feb 18, 2018 11:58 pm UTC
by GnomeAnne
Pfhorrest wrote:Is that a good thing or a bad thing?


It's good.
The questions I have are all answered by simply reading further in the story.

Re: The Chronicles of Quelouva

Posted: Tue Feb 20, 2018 1:02 am UTC
by GnomeAnne
3/3/3/1/3 is still titled 9x@1 instead of 9x21.

Edit:
Actually, a bunch of the changes haven't been implemented, they're probaby just not pushed to the server yet.

Re: The Chronicles of Quelouva

Posted: Tue Feb 20, 2018 1:26 am UTC
by Pfhorrest
GnomeAnne wrote:they're probaby just not pushed to the server yet.

That is correct, I completely forgot to upload anything. Thanks for reminding me!

Re: The Chronicles of Quelouva

Posted: Tue Feb 20, 2018 1:29 am UTC
by GnomeAnne
Also, some of the next/previous tags are messed up.
prev.PNG
prev.PNG (6.42 KiB) Viewed 2512 times

Not all, but more than one.

And at least one of the "next" links at the bottom link to the wrong number.

Re: The Chronicles of Quelouva

Posted: Tue Feb 20, 2018 1:47 am UTC
by Pfhorrest
I just fixed the nav buttons since that's easy to search/replace for, but I'll have to click through everything later to find the erroneous bottom links. Do you know whereabouts the first of them are so I can skip everything up to that point?