Fiddle Boy Comics - A webcomic

Think your art is better or your stick figures worse? Got a link to a site you want to share? Post it here!

Moderators: Jacque, Prelates, Moderators General

Fiddle Boy Comics - A webcomic

Postby lemurs1 » Thu Sep 21, 2006 4:28 am UTC

http://www.fiddleboycomics.com/

This is a webcomic I'm making. Tell me what you guys think of it.
lemurs1
 
Posts: 15
Joined: Sat Sep 09, 2006 5:26 am UTC
Location: AZ

Postby Shoofle » Fri Sep 22, 2006 3:43 am UTC

<critic>Amusing, but it appears to have MS Paint gunk on it...</critic>
User avatar
Shoofle
 
Posts: 409
Joined: Sun Apr 09, 2006 9:28 pm UTC
Location: Location, Location.

Postby lemurs1 » Fri Sep 22, 2006 4:43 am UTC

Shoofle wrote:<critic>Amusing, but it appears to have MS Paint gunk on it...</critic>

You know you're a noob when you have ms paint gunk on things you didn't make in paint.




wikipedia Microsoft Paint:
Image
This monster (named "The Gunk" by the artist) is an example of pixel art drawn solely with Microsoft Paint

i could do that
just don't wanna
lemurs1
 
Posts: 15
Joined: Sat Sep 09, 2006 5:26 am UTC
Location: AZ

Bend over and take it like a man

Postby Tropylium » Tue Sep 26, 2006 2:41 pm UTC

Meh… lame punchlines or execution. Usually not both however, which is rather promising. I'm reminded of the very erliest BTC comics.

More specifically:
#19: Ow. That's way too contrived a pun. At least skip the "he dreamed about the cuffs" twist and just have all caracters be household items anyway.
#18: Easily the best one here so far. I'd only suggest "not valid" in place of "no value", but even that might be just to taste.
#17: If Jesus ever had a son, he likely did not wear a T-shirt. Nor bragged about him, really; and if that were meant in a "our father thy art in heaven" sense, then the crucification wouldn't make sense… egh. Some jonkes just can't be made work.
#16: Facial expressions (or, well, the art in general) need work, but script's OK otherwise.
#15: Do not get.
#14: Needs to be clearer on the point that nobody's going to be the master; currently it looks like it's just a lame party that no one came to. Also, the smaller guy looks like a kid in comparision to the bigger, which is a bit creepy.
#13: OK.
#12: Violence is not a punchline. Also, trying to combine the "arse-on" and "covering their own ass" puns in a single strip does not really work.
#11: I don't really get it… is this supposed to be nonsense or politics? Or just fugly skeletons?
#10: Instead of just showing the final results, this could use a shot of the officials (?) walking away, relieved, as the elephant stumbles off the roof and towards the school bus.
#9: Is there a punchline in here somewhere?
#8: If she's out of business, how come she still has the stall and lemonade?
#7: Suffers from the fact that you can't see the smaller guy dorkily grinning in panel 2. I suggest investing in filters.
#6: So the guy in gray is a teacher or something? I kinda suspect that a student wouldn't use such a line in that situation.
#5: The current version is kinda torn due to the fact that actually hearing one's mom call would usually result in anwering. Dialog improovment suggestion: "You don't dare to spend the night here? What are you, a wimp?" - "Uh, no, I… just heard my mom calling for me…" - "Dude, what are you, 12? Also, your mom died three years ago." (Except she's rising from the grave behind the others.)
#4: The idea is good; however, kaleidoscopes usually don't come in suitcases. If you drew its view better it'd probably be identifiable a k.scope without that unnecessary tidbit. (Also, shouldn't the view be purple-dominated rather than blue-dominated, as that's the background color?)
#3: Curse my inadequat Latin skills.
#2: Again, the idea is good, but instead of the post-punchline shock panel I'd have gone for an additional setup panel instead. Also, cement takes a lot of time to pour in (and this does not really feel like a Girly-esq "I happened to have a cement truck in my purse" scenario)- so maybe the "Jon can't swim" note should have come from a new caracter. No, wait, that doesn't work; how'd xe kno' it was Jon there? … OK, so better suggestion: "Isn't that well dry?"
#1: Makes absolutely no sense.

Art looks rushed too (esp. givn all the copypastas), but by the look of #18 you could do much better if you took the time.
Tropylium
 
Posts: 127
Joined: Tue Jul 25, 2006 9:40 am UTC
Location: Finland

Re: Bend over and take it like a man

Postby lemurs1 » Tue Sep 26, 2006 10:52 pm UTC

Tropylium wrote:Meh… lame punchlines or execution. Usually not both however, which is rather promising. I'm reminded of the very erliest BTC comics.

More specifically:
#19: Ow. That's way too contrived a pun. At least skip the "he dreamed about the cuffs" twist and just have all caracters be household items anyway.
#18: Easily the best one here so far. I'd only suggest "not valid" in place of "no value", but even that might be just to taste.
#17: If Jesus ever had a son, he likely did not wear a T-shirt. Nor bragged about him, really; and if that were meant in a "our father thy art in heaven" sense, then the crucification wouldn't make sense… egh. Some jonkes just can't be made work.
#16: Facial expressions (or, well, the art in general) need work, but script's OK otherwise.
#15: Do not get.
#14: Needs to be clearer on the point that nobody's going to be the master; currently it looks like it's just a lame party that no one came to. Also, the smaller guy looks like a kid in comparision to the bigger, which is a bit creepy.
#13: OK.
#12: Violence is not a punchline. Also, trying to combine the "arse-on" and "covering their own ass" puns in a single strip does not really work.
#11: I don't really get it… is this supposed to be nonsense or politics? Or just fugly skeletons?
#10: Instead of just showing the final results, this could use a shot of the officials (?) walking away, relieved, as the elephant stumbles off the roof and towards the school bus.
#9: Is there a punchline in here somewhere?
#8: If she's out of business, how come she still has the stall and lemonade?
#7: Suffers from the fact that you can't see the smaller guy dorkily grinning in panel 2. I suggest investing in filters.
#6: So the guy in gray is a teacher or something? I kinda suspect that a student wouldn't use such a line in that situation.
#5: The current version is kinda torn due to the fact that actually hearing one's mom call would usually result in anwering. Dialog improovment suggestion: "You don't dare to spend the night here? What are you, a wimp?" - "Uh, no, I… just heard my mom calling for me…" - "Dude, what are you, 12? Also, your mom died three years ago." (Except she's rising from the grave behind the others.)
#4: The idea is good; however, kaleidoscopes usually don't come in suitcases. If you drew its view better it'd probably be identifiable a k.scope without that unnecessary tidbit. (Also, shouldn't the view be purple-dominated rather than blue-dominated, as that's the background color?)
#3: Curse my inadequat Latin skills.
#2: Again, the idea is good, but instead of the post-punchline shock panel I'd have gone for an additional setup panel instead. Also, cement takes a lot of time to pour in (and this does not really feel like a Girly-esq "I happened to have a cement truck in my purse" scenario)- so maybe the "Jon can't swim" note should have come from a new caracter. No, wait, that doesn't work; how'd xe kno' it was Jon there? … OK, so better suggestion: "Isn't that well dry?"
#1: Makes absolutely no sense.

Art looks rushed too (esp. givn all the copypastas), but by the look of #18 you could do much better if you took the time.


Thanks, Tropylium. This is the most thorough review I've had 'bout me. Even people who help me with the site don't say these things (they say "sucks" or 'doesn't suck")...

People seem to be hatin on my crappy art.
How much would my site benefit from spending more time on each comic and actually learning to draw? A lot? It obviously wasn't a priority before, but it's making sense to me now to work hard on something I want to show other people.

Also, for the bad dialogue/doesn't make sense/"violence is not a punchline" ones: those seem to be some of my friends' favorites! Could it just be a question of taste, or is part of it I'm asking the wrong people?
lemurs1
 
Posts: 15
Joined: Sat Sep 09, 2006 5:26 am UTC
Location: AZ

Postby drollglee » Fri Sep 29, 2006 11:09 pm UTC

Not that I read all of your comics or am a big comics conoisuer (sp.), BUT:

I agree, there are promising elements. I thought the execution of your copy cuff was poor (too ham-fisted) but I thought the idea was good. I think somehow your ideas and your artistic style aren't meshing well... I dunno, positive elements but I'm not sure what's missing. Wish I could give more concrete criticism...
drollglee
 
Posts: 21
Joined: Thu Sep 28, 2006 3:39 am UTC
Location: All about. Alabama at the moment


Return to Your art and links

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 4 guests