xkcd

by **Felstaff** » Thu Oct 16, 2008 12:15 pm UTC

Oh, hey. Big things are being planned here, so I'm making some changes to this post. Also this is the first Google result for Felstaff? Not sure if I can be doing with that.
PM me if you want any more information.

The information is: yes, my newspaper is being syndicated. In fact they're going to use 'The Daily Felstaff' to replace the ageing Financial Times.

by **Moo** » Thu Oct 16, 2008 1:22 pm UTC

As a totally inbiased (and unbribed) member of the public I can honestly say that the Daily Felstaph is the best news source I have read and that its editor is a handsome and intelligent man of unquestionable integrity and you should read it because it changed my life and can change yours too oh and you should join FaiD.

Is that how you wanted it, Mr Felstaff sir? Can I have my kitty back now please? Please don't hurt him

by **existential_elevator** » Thu Oct 16, 2008 1:25 pm UTC

Wonderful! A delight! Five Stars! - The Unprompted Reader

by **Felstaff** » Thu Oct 16, 2008 1:54 pm UTC

See, ladies and gentlemen? The previous two posters proves the following comic:

by **I Am Raven** » Thu Oct 16, 2008 2:49 pm UTC

Hahaha, that was worth every second I spent reading it!

by **Artemisia** » Thu Oct 16, 2008 2:54 pm UTC

Teh Daily Felstaph, it ROCKS!

by **felltir** » Thu Oct 16, 2008 3:23 pm UTC

I, as someone who has NEVER BEEN MENTIONED EVER in this paper, heartily approve.

by **The Hyphenator** » Thu Oct 16, 2008 9:23 pm UTC

Felstaff wrote:So we can all agree that, mostly, it's just lies, really. But they're entertaining lies. And in the end, isn't that the real truth? The answer, is no.

ISWYDT!

by **Cheese** » Fri Oct 17, 2008 2:47 pm UTC

I've subscribed, and I get my Daily Felstaph delivered daily!

...the paper boy's not half out of breath when he delivers it, though. What's his round like?

by **Felstaff** » Sun Oct 19, 2008 4:33 pm UTC

Oh, hello.

I've edited the initial post to contain all my entries to Saladin's Thread. For posterity, mainly, and so I can see what I've done, thus eliminating any repetition.

Not just a hat-stand, my friend.

On another note, I fired the paperboy. He came up with some nonsense about how his bike can't simply cross the Atlantic Ocean four times a day. So I burned him on a pyre.

by **Jack Saladin** » Sun Oct 19, 2008 11:59 pm UTC

*steals ur image*

by **I Am Raven** » Mon Oct 20, 2008 11:34 am UTC

Felstaff wrote:I've edited the initial post to contain all my entries to Saladin's Thread. For posterity, mainly, and so I can see what I've done, thus eliminating any repetition.

Not just a hat-stand, my friend.

Yay!

by **existential_elevator** » Mon Oct 20, 2008 2:47 pm UTC

I still don't know why the Felstaph is giving me cancer

by **Cheese** » Tue Oct 21, 2008 7:10 pm UTC

existential_elevator wrote:I still don't know why the Felstaph is giving me cancer

That would be due to the unique CancerPaper^TM * on which it is printed, giving YOU cancer without all the fuss and bother of being exposed to radioactive sources or ingesting carcinogens!

*This product may give you cancer. This product may be illegal in some/all countries and/or states which you live in. This product is not for sale, and probably shouldn't be used. However, it's pretty cheap, and tastes quite nice.

by **I Am Raven** » Tue Oct 21, 2008 7:17 pm UTC

How convenient!

by **LE4dGOLEM** » Tue Oct 21, 2008 8:33 pm UTC

Also if it bites you you become a superhero.

by **I Am Raven** » Tue Oct 21, 2008 8:36 pm UTC

That's how Fellstaff found the cancer cure. He was printing his newspapers and got cancer. Next thing he knew he was bitten, became a superhero and thus could survive cancer!*

*It's true!

by **LE4dGOLEM** » Tue Oct 21, 2008 8:52 pm UTC

Just like spiderman can survive vicious spider attacks!

by **I Am Raven** » Wed Oct 22, 2008 4:38 pm UTC

Indeed so!

by **RealGrouchy** » Sat Oct 25, 2008 7:23 pm UTC

This was a very entertaining waste of my time. Thanks!

- RG>

by **Coin** » Thu Oct 30, 2008 1:57 pm UTC

This looks entertaining. I shall read it as soon as I get home.

by **wst** » Sun Dec 07, 2008 10:51 pm UTC

I laughed until my neck clicked... now I'm in hospital surrounded by buxom nurses.

I won't be posting for a while *closes curtains*

by **bigglesworth** » Fri Dec 12, 2008 2:42 pm UTC

I'll be in my bunk.

by **4=5** » Sun Dec 14, 2008 10:15 pm UTC

it's a very punctual daily paper

by **Coin** » Sun Dec 14, 2008 10:49 pm UTC

Absolutley, but I'm a bit confused about the transdimentional schedual it is on. I've managed to calculate which planet it will be using as a temporal node for most issues (using the charts you got with the collectors edition of Issue Nr. 3) and it's never been late!

by **PatchMonster** » Wed Dec 17, 2008 6:40 pm UTC

Issue #11 made me giggle like a little girl :oops:

.

by **Cheese** » Sun Dec 21, 2008 1:53 pm UTC

*considers reporting the thread*

...nah. As long as the Felstaph continues to get printed (hint hint, Felstaff), I'm fine with the sticky. Not that I could do anything about it, like.

by **roc314** » Tue Jan 13, 2009 5:43 am UTC

I am severely disappointed. I came here to see Fellstaff's latest addition to making xkcd slightly worse (the Calvin and Hobbes one, for posterity) without the effort of looking through a few posts in that other thread, and what do I notice? That it is not here. I know, that's outrageous, right? Indeed! Which it is why it is now fixed.

Felstaff, your stuff is too funny to rot in obscure corners of the fora; we need it here so we can always get our Felstaff fix without any hassle whatsoever.

EDIT: Also, it's too much effort to praise Felstaff in the Making xkcd slightly worse thread. The quoting for context, it is hard.

by **Bobber** » Sun Feb 08, 2009 2:32 am UTC

Issue 19 makes me proud to be a Dane.

by **Maseiken** » Sun Mar 29, 2009 10:14 am UTC

"This [...] is [...] excellent [...] thing [...] five [...] stars[...]!" - Real anonymous celebrity who wishes to remain anonymous, and factual.

by **HighCharity** » Tue Mar 31, 2009 8:40 am UTC

Sledding discussion makes me sad.

by **Felstaff** » Tue Mar 31, 2009 9:16 am UTC

Me too! Partly because I used to anthropomorphise my own collection of teddy bears to the point where they would become my extended family.

I mean... I never did such a thing. Isn't that right, Fun Time Bouncin' Tigger?

by **HighCharity** » Thu Apr 02, 2009 3:20 am UTC

Felstaff wrote:Me too! Partly because I used to anthropomorphise my own collection of teddy bears to the point where they would become my extended family.

I mean... I never did such a thing. Isn't that right, Fun Time Bouncin' Tigger?

I don't do that. I look down my nose at you. Both of us do.

by **Cheese** » Wed Apr 08, 2009 9:34 pm UTC

If the sig picture's going to change, I'm going to start expecting issues again. I've paid every subscription yet, and not seen a Daily Felstaph come through my door in as many months.

by **Bakemaster** » Mon Apr 20, 2009 3:57 am UTC

I... I agrrrr... agree wieuouuuu...

Agrreoahgh...

I AGREE WITH CHEESE

by **'; DROP DATABASE;--** » Thu Apr 23, 2009 7:22 am UTC

Cheese wrote:If the sig picture's going to change, I'm going to start expecting issues again. I've paid every subscription yet, and not seen a Daily Felstaph come through my door in as many months.

Yeah. WE WANT MOAR. WE WANT MOAR.

by **d33p** » Sun May 17, 2009 7:53 am UTC

It's my first time here.
WHY?! Why hasn't anyone said, "d33p, you really need to check this out..." ?
I am amazed, guffawing, and otherwise chortly amused.

by **Vanguard** » Sat Jun 13, 2009 11:18 pm UTC

Witty, I must say.

But I must admit, most of it is tl;dr. I enjoy the headlines but the articles themselves, eh. Am I missing much or are they just ramblings?

by **kaitou** » Sun Jun 14, 2009 6:12 pm UTC

'; DROP DATABASE;-- wrote:
Cheese wrote:If the sig picture's going to change, I'm going to start expecting issues again. I've paid every subscription yet, and not seen a Daily Felstaph come through my door in as many months.
Yeah. WE WANT MOAR. WE WANT MOAR.

The populace has spoken! Your prodigious, pedantical printings are past due and eagerly awaited for perusal. Your subscribers are salivating for more of your scintillating, spendorous speculations on slouchers, slumbering sloths and other scallawags. Make merry the miens of the myriad of morigerate minions with your mythical musings.

So, scurry off to your scriptorium and scratch out a scathing scripture!

Besides, my budgie is in severe need of a new cage liner.

by **jennyfifi** » Thu Aug 13, 2009 10:26 am UTC

Take that, you sweet thing!

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