An Awful Experience of Edward Allen
It happened on a bright and sunny Sunday,
the warmest on record in the month of May.
It had rained the day before, but for the most part the street was dry.
The sky was nearly clear and blue, but numerous clouds obscured the sky.
I rushed home along the sidewalk, looking over my shoulder along the way.
I came to my apartment room with my heart racing,
my chest pounding from the figure that had been chasing.
I twisted the doorknob left and right;
I tugged on it with all my might.
I had caught but only a glimpse of the horror I had been facing.
I pounded my fists against the door.
I called for help and cried once more;
Had I seen the figure again?
The next inevitable encounter was but a matter of where and when.
I recollect having met the stalker twice before.
The stalker wore a hooded robe,
composed of patchwork black and mauve.
He wears no shoes, only muddy socks.
What I find most peculiar about him is the pigeon-toed way he walks.
I first saw him last week on the same street, in my car, whilst I drove.
The next time I ran across him, I was on my way home from work.
I was merely walking ahead of him, when he went berserk.
He withdrew a switchblade from his pocket,
He threw it at me and I avoided a direct hit to my eyesocket.
I ran the next half mile, worrying that around the next corner the fiend could lurk.
It was on the third encounter that had minutes ago taken place,
that there had been a three mile-long dreadful chase.
It was when the wind along the way had blown down the villain's hood,
that there had been revealed a rainbow wig, a bulging glass eye, and an inch-long nose made of wood.
He held in his hand a butcher knife, with which he threatened to remove my face.
I combed through my belongings for the key to my apartment door.
I held a multitude of keys, and I failed to remember which I had used the night before.
Perhaps the one with the jagged edge,
or this one with the gnarled wedge?
I had no luck testing keys number three and four.
Quickly, quickly, I cried to myself,
Find it, find it! Calm yourself!
Awash in a sea of sudden dread,
with sweat drenching every inch of my head,
I realized I had left my key inside my room on the top bookshelf.
Familiar heavy breathing filled my ears,
stimulating and exacerbating my worst fears.
A shadow grew on the wall behind me,
as a lurching feeling grew inside me.
The stalker must be near.
I turned around and the man was unarmed;
with a calm demeanor, he told me he was glad to see me unharmed.
Feeling for the mace inside my pocket, I asked him to explain.
He replied, "Very well, but you might think I'm insane..."
With my back against the door, I disregarded being warned.
I already disbelieved in the man's sanity, so there wasn't much to lose.
Having been cornered, there were no options left to choose.
I stood and listened to his story,
his voice shaking with worry,
and when I asked him to stop, he would refuse.
"When I lower my head toward the flowers so I can hear their voices,
the plants can control all my actions and all my choices
I happen to be a florist, and this helps at work
But when I listen to a Venus Flytrap, well, I go berserk
When I tell it that I've killed a coworker, it rejoices."
"It started about two and a half years ago;
at first only I could hear the trees, but my ability began to grow.
For fear of being called crazy, I ignored it,
and when this became harder, I abhorred it.
Then I became more curious. Does the grass hate being mowed?"
"When I talked to the trees, I told them about disappearing forests,
and was interrupted by a protesting chorus,
'Why do you do this? None of us are weeds;
we give you food and shelter. We even help you breathe.'
Then the dandelions interrupted. Easily offended, these."
"I familiarized myself with all kinds of flowers,
sitting inside my garden, spending hours.
The roses were most beautiful, but dumb as dirt and vain;
the daisies were quite cheery. I knew each of them by name.
With more practice, I fine-tuned my powers."
"I spoke to the tomato plants, which took pride when I picked their fruit.
The apple trees wept, though, when I took their children as my loot.
I reassured them afterward that their seedlings would be safe and sound.
I returned a day later to plant them in the ground.
They still tried to argue, but I threatened to pour salt around their roots."
"I took a job at Victor's Flower Shop last May,
at first working part-time while another employee was away.
It was during this time that I figured out how to let it in my head;
I could peer into a plant's soul, or let it into mine instead.
I tried it with a tulip, a hyperactive one that loved to play."
"The first thing it did was practice conversing,
and quickly it turned toward cursing,
thanks to an impatient customer who had been rude,
in response to the tulips' comments toward his baldness, which he found quite crude.
The boss found the tulip, in my body, rehearsing."
"Meanwhile I was trying to get anyone to hear me speak.
I cried for help and wondered, would I always be a freak.
I stopped trying and faced futility,
missing my mobility,
To get back inside my body took a week."
"I was ordered to attend to the Venus Flytraps, which I thought were cool.
As I put a fly toward its mouth, I thought I could sense it drool.
It had a voice I could not help hearing,
loud, obnoxious, and domineering,
"As I fed the carnivorous plant the dead fly,
I stood back wincing, and covering my right eye.
Next thing I knew I was in a clay pot again;
the Flytrap ran out the door, and it was after hours when,
he came back bursting through the door with a severed human thigh."
"He approached me and offered me a bite,
clearly I said "No," but he insisted out of spite.
He stuck a small chunk near me,
and I bit his finger until he would hear me,
there would be no cannibalism tonight."
"As soon as I was inside my body, I heard someone come through the revolving door.
I slinked along the wall toward the exit, crawling along the floor.
I knocked the intruder unconscious, by punching him in the face.
Sirens were in the distance blaring, and my heart began to race.
Knowing human flesh might be inside my stomach sickened me to the core."
I asked the stranger why he wore a wooden nose and a rainbow wig.
He shrugged his shoulders and began laughing, snorting like a pig.
"After I saw myself on the local news, I pulled out a disguise.
It might seem rather stupid, but no one's gotten wise."
I put my hand inside my pocket, and I began to dig.
I found another key there, and ran inside my room.
I called 911 while the crazy person stood outside, threatening my doom.
Over the phone I tried not to panic,
but apparently I still sounded manic,
as I was cut off after being called a loon.