Coding vs. Sex

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photosinensis
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Coding vs. Sex

Postby photosinensis » Mon Dec 03, 2007 2:24 pm UTC

As per the lovely mod, code snippets are allowed in-post, but sex snippets are not--so if you must include the latter, link it from elsewhere (preferably your own damn server) and please, for the love of our jobs and the public (some of us use laptops or public terminals frequently), mark it as NSFW.

ETA: Obviously this wasn't as explanatory as I thought. Which is better/would you rather do: coding or sex?
Last edited by photosinensis on Mon Dec 03, 2007 9:52 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Coding vs. Sex

Postby Infornographer » Mon Dec 03, 2007 2:44 pm UTC

Why would we have NSFW stuff in a coding forum?
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Tei
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Re: Coding vs. Sex

Postby Tei » Mon Dec 03, 2007 3:58 pm UTC

http://freshmeat.net sounds like a good one. unfortunally seems like code related :-(

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Re: Coding vs. Sex

Postby Hammer » Mon Dec 03, 2007 4:18 pm UTC

OK, this thread is off to a really bizarre start. What are we actually trying to argue about here?
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Re: Coding vs. Sex

Postby tiny » Mon Dec 03, 2007 4:31 pm UTC

I'd rather go to bed to have sex than to write some code there. Especially since I know how to sex, but not how to code.
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Re: Coding vs. Sex

Postby Nexus_1101 » Mon Dec 03, 2007 4:34 pm UTC

What about coding while having sex, or writing a program to improve your sex life?
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Re: Coding vs. Sex

Postby JamesCFraser » Mon Dec 03, 2007 5:53 pm UTC

I prefer coding, as I'm actually good at it.

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Re: Coding vs. Sex

Postby wr3cktangle » Mon Dec 03, 2007 6:25 pm UTC

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Re: Coding vs. Sex

Postby EvanED » Mon Dec 03, 2007 7:13 pm UTC

Nexus_1101 wrote:What about coding while having sex, or writing a program to improve your sex life?

I'm afraid that might have the opposite effect.

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Re: Coding vs. Sex

Postby Nexus_1101 » Mon Dec 03, 2007 8:20 pm UTC

EvanED wrote:
Nexus_1101 wrote:What about coding while having sex, or writing a program to improve your sex life?

I'm afraid that might have the opposite effect.
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Re: Coding vs. Sex

Postby enk » Tue Dec 04, 2007 2:55 pm UTC

photosinensis wrote:Which is better/would you rather do: coding or sex?


A girl I'm dating asked me to help with some Adobe InDesign and she suggested that we could go to bed and bring a laptop. Not exactly coding... but I wonder how it's gonna work out :P
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Re: Coding vs. Sex

Postby FACM » Tue Dec 04, 2007 3:01 pm UTC

Code: Select all

#DEFINE SEX 1
#DEFINE CODING 2

if (SEX > CODING){
  cout >> "Sex is greater than coding";}
else
  cout >> "Coding is greater than sex";



45 second snippet. Errors about in mass quantities.

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Re: Coding vs. Sex

Postby Nexus_1101 » Tue Dec 04, 2007 3:13 pm UTC

FACM wrote:

Code: Select all

#DEFINE SEX 1
#DEFINE CODING 2

if (SEX > CODING){
  cout >> "Sex is greater than coding";}
else
  cout >> "Coding is greater than sex";



wouldn't this work better?

Code: Select all

int WillIHaveSex()
{
  int SEX=0, CODING=0;

  CurrentSexPosability(SEX);
  CurrentCodingState(CODING);

  if (SEX > CODING) {
    cout >> "Sex is greater than coding";
  }
  else if (SEX < CODING ) {
    cout >> "Coding is greater than sex";
  } else {
    cout << "Sex and Coding are equal, your screwed(not literaly)";
  }
  return 0;
}
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Re: Coding vs. Sex

Postby HappySmileMan » Tue Dec 04, 2007 6:38 pm UTC

Erm... You both used cout wrong... It's

Code: Select all

cout << "bleh";
not

Code: Select all

cout >> "bleh";


And I'm 15, so guess which one I'm after

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Re: Coding vs. Sex

Postby Nexus_1101 » Tue Dec 04, 2007 6:41 pm UTC

DAMN you copy and paste!!!
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Re: Coding vs. Sex

Postby FACM » Tue Dec 04, 2007 8:33 pm UTC

I did say there were plenty of errors.

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Re: Coding vs. Sex

Postby photosinensis » Tue Dec 04, 2007 10:58 pm UTC

HappySmileMan wrote:And I'm 15, so guess which one I'm after


As you're underage, I would hope you're after 1337 coding skills. Sex might not be legal for you in your area, though your local laws may vary.
Nexus_1101 wrote:wouldn't this work better?

Code: Select all

int WillIHaveSex()
{
  int SEX=0, CODING=0;

  CurrentSexPosability(SEX);
  CurrentCodingState(CODING);

  if (SEX > CODING) {
    cout >> "Sex is greater than coding";
  }
  else if (SEX < CODING ) {
    cout >> "Coding is greater than sex";
  } else {
    cout << "Sex and Coding are equal, your screwed(not literaly)";
  }
  return 0;
}


No. You've got two undefined functions in there doing God only knows what. Please define them, and tell me that they are call-by-reference values that actually do something to SEX and CODING.
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Re: Coding vs. Sex

Postby Ghorthas » Tue Dec 04, 2007 10:58 pm UTC

There is no comparison, fornication wins hands down.

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Re: Coding vs. Sex

Postby Nexus_1101 » Tue Dec 04, 2007 11:23 pm UTC

Code: Select all


#include <iostream>
#include <GeekFunctions>
#include <SexFunctions>

Using namespace std;

int CurrentSexPosability()
{
  int x, y, b;
  bool z;

  b = BedProximity();
  x = GFBFHornyness();
  y = YourHornyness();
  z = DoYouHaveGFBF();

  if (z)
  {
    int ALPHA;
    ALPHA = (x+y-b);
    return ALPHA;
  } else {
    return 0;
  }
}

int CurrentCodingState()
{
  int x, y;
  bool z;

  x = GeekRating();
  y = CodeCompletionPercent();
  z = AreYouAGeek();

  if (z)
  {
    int ALPHA;
    ALPHA = (x*y);
    return ALPHA;
  } else {
    return 0;
  }
}

int WillIHaveSex()
{
  int SEX=0, CODING=0;

  SEX = CurrentSexPosability();
  CODING = CurrentCodingState();

  if (SEX > CODING) {
    cout << "Sex is greater than coding";
  }
  else if (SEX < CODING ) {
    cout << "Coding is greater than sex";
  } else {
    cout << "Sex and Coding are equal, modify possible life variables and try again!";
  }
  return 0;
}

int main ()
{
  WillIHaveSex();
  return 0;
}


OK, all of this was off the top of my head apologies for errors
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Re: Coding vs. Sex

Postby wing » Tue Dec 04, 2007 11:31 pm UTC

In Java...

Code: Select all

import realworld.actions.biological.sex.*;
import realworld.actions.technical.coding.*;
import realworld.entities.person;
import realworld.actions.*;
//I didn't write these libraries. For API information, please contact... Uhh, $supreme_diety or your friendly neighborhood quantum physicist.

public class Wing extends person
{
   private Action currentAction;
   private Stack toDoList;
   //Other members, constructors and methods are unimportant. But they're defined. The main operator in this class is an interrupt-listener method (think Swing/AWT's ActionPerformed). At every interrupt, sexPretest is called.
   public void sexPretest();
   {
      double probabilityFem = sexWithSoloFemale.getProbability();
      double probabilityAWESOME = sexWithMoreThanOneFemale.getProbability();

      if(getCodingState())
      {
          if(probabilityFem >=.75 || probabilityAWESOME >=.5)
          {
              pushToStack(currentAction);
              attemptToHaveSex();
          }
       }
       else
       {
              if(currentAction != null)
                  pushToStack(currentAction);
              attemptToHaveSex();
       }
     
   }
   private boolean getCodingState()
   {
       try
       {
            if(currentAction.getClass(Coding))
               return true;
            else return false;
       }
       catch(NullPointerExcption e)
       {
           return false;
       }
   }
   private void pushToStack(Action a)
   {
       toDoList.push(a);
       currentAction = null;
   }
   private void tryToHaveSex()
   {
       currentAction = new preForeplay();
   }
}
Last edited by wing on Tue Dec 04, 2007 11:44 pm UTC, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: Coding vs. Sex

Postby Nexus_1101 » Tue Dec 04, 2007 11:38 pm UTC

do you think the foreplay function should have a link to wikipidia?

EDIT: use - CollectWikiData() function.
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Re: Coding vs. Sex

Postby wing » Tue Dec 04, 2007 11:46 pm UTC

Nexus_1101 wrote:do you think the foreplay function should have a link to wikipidia?

EDIT: use - CollectWikiData() function.

preForeplay and Foreplay are defined in the APIs and are classes. The functions called if they're currentaction by the interrupt listener are, of course, defined in this class. And they don't involve wikipedia, because this particular class knows what the fuck it's doing.
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Re: Coding vs. Sex

Postby enk » Wed Dec 05, 2007 12:03 am UTC

photosinensis wrote:
HappySmileMan wrote:And I'm 15, so guess which one I'm after


As you're underage, I would hope you're after 1337 coding skills. Sex might not be legal for you in your area, though your local laws may vary.


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Re: Coding vs. Sex

Postby Nexus_1101 » Wed Dec 05, 2007 12:18 am UTC

wing wrote:
Nexus_1101 wrote:do you think the foreplay function should have a link to wikipidia?

EDIT: use - CollectWikiData() function.

preForeplay and Foreplay are defined in the APIs and are classes. The functions called if they're currentaction by the interrupt listener are, of course, defined in this class. And they don't involve wikipedia, because this particular class knows what the fuck it's doing.


touche
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Re: Coding vs. Sex

Postby HappySmileMan » Wed Dec 05, 2007 5:27 pm UTC

photosinensis wrote:
HappySmileMan wrote:And I'm 15, so guess which one I'm after


As you're underage, I would hope you're after 1337 coding skills. Sex might not be legal for you in your area, though your local laws may vary.


Yeah, it's illegal until 17, however it's pretty unenforcable if both people are above 15 and there's less than a two year age difference, and most people, have done it by 17, but I don't really have to worry about the choice too much anyway, since it doesn't seem likely to happen anytime soon :P.

Also I'm shocked at how many countries it is legal this young, personally I think 16 would be a good age, evidentally Canadians and the Spanish disagree strongly?

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Re: Coding vs. Sex

Postby Freyr » Wed Dec 05, 2007 8:21 pm UTC

I'm much too lazy to write up a full program like acouple other people here, but I'm thinking the pseudo code would look something like:

Code: Select all

function probabilitySex()
{
    double prob;
    if user is writing this program
        prob = 0;
    else if user finds this humorous
        prob = 0;
    else
        prob = .5;
}


Only 50%, because they're still reading code instead of doing anything romantic... unless you consider code poetry, thus the 50%

Also @ 14 in Canada -> I don't see why everyone else has it so high, there are very few problems here (relatively speaking) with children having kids before the age of eighteen. But I'm thinking that is another thread :)

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Re: Coding vs. Sex

Postby enk » Wed Dec 05, 2007 9:53 pm UTC

HappySmileMan wrote:Erm... You both used cout wrong... It's

Code: Select all

cout << "bleh";
not

Code: Select all

cout >> "bleh";


Yeah... who's gonna have sex with a lousy programmer? :twisted:
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Re: Coding vs. Sex

Postby english_petal » Wed Dec 05, 2007 11:21 pm UTC

enk wrote:Yeah... who's gonna have sex with a lousy programmer? :twisted:


I would. Well, one in particular - my bf. However, he would much prefer to code... *sigh*

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Re: Coding vs. Sex

Postby Maseiken » Thu Dec 06, 2007 2:13 am UTC

enk wrote:
photosinensis wrote:
HappySmileMan wrote:And I'm 15, so guess which one I'm after


As you're underage, I would hope you're after 1337 coding skills. Sex might not be legal for you in your area, though your local laws may vary.


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:AOCWorldMap.png

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Re: Coding vs. Sex

Postby tiny » Thu Dec 06, 2007 8:08 am UTC

Hah. The answer's already there! You *code* to find out if coding is better than sex. Says it all, doesn't it?
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Re: Coding vs. Sex

Postby Maseiken » Thu Dec 06, 2007 10:21 am UTC

I just thought of a good pick-up line,
"Hi, I'm researching methods of DNA preservation."
Except that if they get it, it's really creepy, it's like saying
"Hi, will you have my babies?"
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Re: Coding vs. Sex

Postby Nexus_1101 » Thu Dec 06, 2007 10:44 am UTC

Maseiken wrote:I just thought of a good pick-up line,
"Hi, I'm researching methods of DNA preservation."
Except that if they get it, it's really creepy, it's like saying
"Hi, will you have my babies?"


maybe you could say practising methods of DNA preservation.
then it's like saying
"Hi, will you help me practice for when I want babies?"
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Re: Coding vs. Sex

Postby JamesCFraser » Thu Dec 06, 2007 1:02 pm UTC

english_petal wrote:
enk wrote:Yeah... who's gonna have sex with a lousy programmer? :twisted:


I would. Well, one in particular - my bf. However, he would much prefer to code... *sigh*


Maybe he'd be more willing to have sex with you if you didn't go bad mouthing him on the internet to strangers? I'd be more inclined to code than have sex with someone who said I suck at coding.

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Re: Coding vs. Sex

Postby pieaholicx » Thu Dec 06, 2007 1:12 pm UTC

I'm not quite sure how to respond to this one.

I think I would prefer sex, however I'm not having sex yet (me and my fiancee are waiting until we're married). So I guess coding would be my answer?
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Re: Coding vs. Sex

Postby Nexus_1101 » Thu Dec 06, 2007 1:19 pm UTC

pieaholicx wrote:I'm not quite sure how to respond to this one.

I think I would prefer sex, however I'm not having sex yet (me and my fiancee are waiting until we're married). So I guess coding would be my answer?


but what about after you are married? or is that a stupid question?
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Re: Coding vs. Sex

Postby pieaholicx » Thu Dec 06, 2007 1:24 pm UTC

Nexus_1101 wrote:
pieaholicx wrote:I'm not quite sure how to respond to this one.

I think I would prefer sex, however I'm not having sex yet (me and my fiancee are waiting until we're married). So I guess coding would be my answer?


but what about after you are married? or is that a stupid question?

Yeah, I'd be inclined to file that one under stupid question. Of course it will be coding. :P
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Re: Coding vs. Sex

Postby Nexus_1101 » Thu Dec 06, 2007 1:25 pm UTC

pieaholicx wrote:
Nexus_1101 wrote:
pieaholicx wrote:I'm not quite sure how to respond to this one.

I think I would prefer sex, however I'm not having sex yet (me and my fiancee are waiting until we're married). So I guess coding would be my answer?


but what about after you are married? or is that a stupid question?

Yeah, I'd be inclined to file that one under stupid question. Of course it will be coding. :P


:D Now to be honest I wasn't expecting that! :D
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Re: Coding vs. Sex

Postby pieaholicx » Thu Dec 06, 2007 1:33 pm UTC

Nexus_1101 wrote:
pieaholicx wrote:
Nexus_1101 wrote:
pieaholicx wrote:I'm not quite sure how to respond to this one.

I think I would prefer sex, however I'm not having sex yet (me and my fiancee are waiting until we're married). So I guess coding would be my answer?


but what about after you are married? or is that a stupid question?

Yeah, I'd be inclined to file that one under stupid question. Of course it will be coding. :P


:D Now to be honest I wasn't expecting that! :D

Mwah ha ha! Another person caught off guard. :D

In all seriousness, sex would be my answer. <.<
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Re: Coding vs. Sex

Postby blob » Thu Dec 06, 2007 1:58 pm UTC

At least sex produces a result that can pass the Turing test.

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Re: Coding vs. Sex

Postby enk » Thu Dec 06, 2007 2:28 pm UTC

english_petal wrote:
enk wrote:Yeah... who's gonna have sex with a lousy programmer? :twisted:


I would. Well, one in particular - my bf. However, he would much prefer to code... *sigh*


Try writing him some code with objects and methods resembling foreplay :)


Nexus_1101 wrote:
pieaholicx wrote:
Nexus_1101 wrote:
pieaholicx wrote:I'm not quite sure how to respond to this one.

I think I would prefer sex, however I'm not having sex yet (me and my fiancee are waiting until we're married). So I guess coding would be my answer?


but what about after you are married? or is that a stupid question?

Yeah, I'd be inclined to file that one under stupid question. Of course it will be coding. :P


:D Now to be honest I wasn't expecting that! :D


Took me by surprise too :o :P
phlip wrote:Ha HA! Recycled emacs jokes.


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