Which of Valve's creative guns doyou want?

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You can choose only one!

Zero-Point Energy Field Manipulator
37
16%
Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device
201
84%
 
Total votes: 238

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Which of Valve's creative guns doyou want?

Postby MotorToad » Tue Feb 05, 2008 12:39 am UTC

This came up in conversation the other day while we were gathered around the Xbox, roasting marshmallows and telling ghost stories about the Red Circle of Death.

I think the portal gun is neater, but I can't see it being as useful and fun in (imaginary) real life.
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Re: Which of Valve's creative guns doyou want?

Postby Xbehave » Tue Feb 05, 2008 10:25 am UTC

easy, portal gun, while you can do cool stuff with the gravity gun. with the portal gun you can finally scratch that spot on your back that always itches!
also for everyday usage you could use it to get places. pft the gravity gun can only be used to anoy people!
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Re: Which of Valve's creative guns doyou want?

Postby hyperion » Tue Feb 05, 2008 10:34 am UTC

The only correct answer is the portal gun.
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Re: Which of Valve's creative guns doyou want?

Postby pieaholicx » Tue Feb 05, 2008 12:59 pm UTC

I'd use one to get the other, obviously.

Probably the gravity gun first though, since I'm still afraid that the portal gun's existence would destroy the universe due to breaking so many laws of physics.
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Re: Which of Valve's creative guns doyou want?

Postby MotorToad » Tue Feb 05, 2008 3:44 pm UTC

Xbehave wrote:easy, portal gun, while you can do cool stuff with the gravity gun. with the portal gun you can finally scratch that spot on your back that always itches!
also for everyday usage you could use it to get places. pft the gravity gun can only be used to anoy people!

Hrm, I hadn't considered Rule 34... I guess that's why there's only one vote for the gravity gun. :D
pieaholicx wrote:I'd use one to get the other, obviously.

Probably the gravity gun first though, since I'm still afraid that the portal gun's existence would destroy the universe due to breaking so many laws of physics.
I'm not sure if the gravity gun's sidestepping Newton's laws isn't worse than the portal gun's bending dimensions of space that we really don't understand that well to begin with. :)
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Re: Which of Valve's creative guns doyou want?

Postby pieaholicx » Tue Feb 05, 2008 3:52 pm UTC

MotorToad wrote:
pieaholicx wrote:I'd use one to get the other, obviously.

Probably the gravity gun first though, since I'm still afraid that the portal gun's existence would destroy the universe due to breaking so many laws of physics.
I'm not sure if the gravity gun's sidestepping Newton's laws isn't worse than the portal gun's bending dimensions of space that we really don't understand that well to begin with. :)

I'd rather have one that slightly bends the laws of gravity than one that tears a hole in the time-space continuum. But that's just me.
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Re: Which of Valve's creative guns doyou want?

Postby enk » Tue Feb 05, 2008 4:04 pm UTC

If I go for the portal gun, do I get the heel springs too? :)



Also, if I make two portals next to each other in my room, can I lie in an equilibrium of gravity with half of my body sticking out of each portal? Then I can sell my bed.
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Re: Which of Valve's creative guns doyou want?

Postby pieaholicx » Tue Feb 05, 2008 5:50 pm UTC

enk wrote:If I go for the portal gun, do I get the heel springs too? :)



Also, if I make two portals next to each other in my room, can I lie in an equilibrium of gravity with half of my body sticking out of each portal? Then I can sell my bed.

Nope, sorry, gravity still applies within portals. How else do you think falling through one grants you the falling velocity?
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Re: Which of Valve's creative guns doyou want?

Postby enk » Tue Feb 05, 2008 6:15 pm UTC

pieaholicx wrote:
enk wrote:If I go for the portal gun, do I get the heel springs too? :)



Also, if I make two portals next to each other in my room, can I lie in an equilibrium of gravity with half of my body sticking out of each portal? Then I can sell my bed.

Nope, sorry, gravity still applies within portals. How else do you think falling through one grants you the falling velocity?


Exactly. If you jump into B, you'll come up thru O. Then you'll fall into O and come up thru B. This repeats forever (at least in the game). Imagine you could dampen this sine wave until you lie still with the two halves of your body (mass wise) pusing against each other.
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Re: Which of Valve's creative guns doyou want?

Postby FACM » Tue Feb 05, 2008 6:19 pm UTC

pieaholicx wrote: I'm still afraid that the portal gun's existence would destroy the universe due to breaking so many laws of physics.


Remember, the portals created are totally safe. The gun may have some unwelcome quirks.

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Re: Which of Valve's creative guns doyou want?

Postby pieaholicx » Tue Feb 05, 2008 6:23 pm UTC

enk wrote:
pieaholicx wrote:
enk wrote:If I go for the portal gun, do I get the heel springs too? :)



Also, if I make two portals next to each other in my room, can I lie in an equilibrium of gravity with half of my body sticking out of each portal? Then I can sell my bed.

Nope, sorry, gravity still applies within portals. How else do you think falling through one grants you the falling velocity?


Exactly. If you jump into B, you'll come up thru O. Then you'll fall into O and come up thru B. This repeats forever (at least in the game). Imagine you could dampen this sine wave until you lie still with the two halves of your body (mass wise) pusing against each other.

Hmm, I guess it could work in theory, but seeing as how the portal gun only works in theory we shall never know.
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Re: Which of Valve's creative guns doyou want?

Postby Govalant » Tue Feb 05, 2008 6:27 pm UTC

Why the hell did I vote gravity gun? Portal gun is way cooler :/.
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Re: Which of Valve's creative guns do you want?

Postby MotorToad » Tue Feb 05, 2008 7:14 pm UTC

enk wrote:Exactly. If you jump into B, you'll come up thru O. Then you'll fall into O and come up thru B. This repeats forever (at least in the game). Imagine you could dampen this sine wave until you lie still with the two halves of your body (mass wise) pusing against each other.
I've done that several times with cameras and turrets, they always eventually fall over to one side or the other.
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Re: Which of Valve's creative guns doyou want?

Postby Kabann » Wed Feb 06, 2008 1:26 pm UTC

I've thought about how long it would take me to get to and from work with a portal gun. Complicating factor - a lack of vertical surfaces which would make stepping through much less bruisy.

I know I could spend one day commuting normally, and placing one side of the portal, but damn I don't want to leave my house open to visitors from WORK. Eww.
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Re: Which of Valve's creative guns doyou want?

Postby EvanED » Wed Feb 06, 2008 4:54 pm UTC

Clearly what they would need to do is put closets somewhere with locking doors that you could put a portal on the other side of. It'd be like the door that you have on the front of your house, except that it would open to work instead of home. ;-) (You could also put a similar door on your side of the portal.)

It'd be smaller than a parking space too.

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Re: Which of Valve's creative guns doyou want?

Postby MotorToad » Wed Feb 06, 2008 5:20 pm UTC

Hrm, I hadn't thought of something... What happens when everyone at work has a portal gun? "Oh, shit, sorry dude, I thought that was my orange portal! Now I'm totally lost. Do you remember which blue portal I walked out of?"
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Re: Which of Valve's creative guns doyou want?

Postby Midnight » Thu Feb 07, 2008 5:54 am UTC

i figure overall the gravity gun would be useful. I mean being able to lift, say, 20lbs telekinetically would be incredibly useful.. but not if you have to lug around a bigass gun. And yes, the portal gun is a bigass gun too, but the stuff i'd want the gravity gun for is a) illegal (though saw blades would be SO FUN) and b) overly utilitarian (carrying around books. I don't need a bigass gun for that) While everything i'd need to lug around the portla gun for would be ridiculous and awesome (jumping off tall buildings, flooding places by throwing a portal on a steel panel on the ocean floor and then making one.. anywhere. Teleporting sharks into a pool.

i mean, that stuff is still illegal, but not necessarily murder.
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Re: Which of Valve's creative guns doyou want?

Postby Zak » Thu Feb 07, 2008 6:05 am UTC

The portal gun is rediculously more awesome than a gravity manipulator.

Hmm... Wouldn't perpetual energy be possible with a portal gun?
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Re: Which of Valve's creative guns doyou want?

Postby enk » Thu Feb 07, 2008 6:48 am UTC

Midnight wrote:i figure overall the gravity gun would be useful. I mean being able to lift, say, 20lbs telekinetically would be incredibly useful.. but not if you have to lug around a bigass gun. And yes, the portal gun is a bigass gun too, but the stuff i'd want the gravity gun for is a) illegal (though saw blades would be SO FUN) and b) overly utilitarian (carrying around books. I don't need a bigass gun for that) While everything i'd need to lug around the portla gun for would be ridiculous and awesome (jumping off tall buildings, flooding places by throwing a portal on a steel panel on the ocean floor and then making one.. anywhere. Teleporting sharks into a pool.

i mean, that stuff is still illegal, but not necessarily murder.


I dunno what you're talking about, but a big ass-gun doesn't sound pleasant...
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Re: Which of Valve's creative guns doyou want?

Postby phlip » Thu Feb 07, 2008 6:57 am UTC

Portal Gun would be great for commuting if you also could have those hardwired portal generators from the early levels of the game... you could have one of those in your home, so when you want to go home you'd just have to log into your home computer (passworded of course) and activate it, fire the other end from the gun you're carrying, and step through. Then walk through a fizzler, so noone can follow you into your house. Workplaces could have banks of these portal generators as a substitute for parking spaces... as Evan says, they'd be smaller... and you wouldn't necessarily need one per person either, if you can organise some sort of queue so everyone's not trying to arrive at once.

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Re: Which of Valve's creative guns doyou want?

Postby evilbeanfiend » Thu Feb 07, 2008 9:32 am UTC

Z.A.K wrote:The portal gun is rediculously more awesome than a gravity manipulator.

Hmm... Wouldn't perpetual energy be possible with a portal gun?


not necessarily, you have no knowledge in the game about how the portals use energy to transfer masses, its entirely possible that to portal a block above itself takes more energy then you gain in potential.
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Re: Which of Valve's creative guns doyou want?

Postby Robin S » Thu Feb 07, 2008 11:10 am UTC

I'm slightly surprised that no-one has mentioned lazy guns or hypogeometric weapons.
This is a placeholder until I think of something more creative to put here.

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Re: Which of Valve's creative guns doyou want?

Postby Miles Invictus » Mon Feb 11, 2008 5:28 pm UTC

pieaholicx wrote:I'd rather have one that slightly bends the laws of gravity than one that tears a hole in the time-space continuum.


What is wrong with you?!

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Re: Which of Valve's creative guns doyou want?

Postby pieaholicx » Mon Feb 11, 2008 6:04 pm UTC

Miles Invictus wrote:
pieaholicx wrote:I'd rather have one that slightly bends the laws of gravity than one that tears a hole in the time-space continuum.


What is wrong with you?!

I like existence, and who really knows what happens when you can do what the portal gun does. Then again, I just read The Jaunt so I'd avoid any sort of teleportation right now.
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Re: Which of Valve's creative guns doyou want?

Postby Miles Invictus » Tue Feb 12, 2008 5:46 am UTC

You think that's scary, imagine Michael Crichton writing a story about teleportation.

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Re: Which of Valve's creative guns doyou want?

Postby Xbehave » Fri Feb 15, 2008 1:47 am UTC

pieaholicx wrote:I like existence, and who really knows what happens when you can do what the portal gun does. Then again, I just read The Jaunt so I'd avoid any sort of teleportation right now.

yeah im not soo keen on teleportation after reading a short story with spider aliens, cant rember the name tho. but the portal gun uses wormholes, and wormholes dont break the laws of phyics, hell they dont even bend them!

I dont think id use a portal gun to comute too many security issues, id more likely just mess with people.
hit somebody with a floor portal that drops them back at a bus stop on the otherside of the road.
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Re: Which of Valve's creative guns doyou want?

Postby Midnight » Thu Feb 21, 2008 6:02 am UTC

I dunno what you're talking about, but a big ass-gun doesn't sound pleasant...


you know, i specifically didn't hypenate it to "big-ass gun" to prevent this from happening. i said bigass gun.
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Re: Which of Valve's creative guns doyou want?

Postby enk » Thu Feb 21, 2008 9:10 am UTC

Midnight wrote:
I dunno what you're talking about, but a big ass-gun doesn't sound pleasant...


you know, i specifically didn't hypenate it to "big-ass gun" to prevent this from happening. i said bigass gun.


Big assgun, then, doesn't sound pleasant either :wink:
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Re: Which of Valve's creative guns doyou want?

Postby Zak » Sun Mar 02, 2008 2:08 am UTC

Portal gun, but only if i get the heel spring thingies too.
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Re: Which of Valve's creative guns doyou want?

Postby Andrew » Sun Mar 02, 2008 5:53 pm UTC

I say portal gun. It'd be just the most useful thing ever.

I'm pretty sure I could move large objects around using portals, preferably by firing it at whatever surface they're on already, but I couldn't get to work using the gravity gun.

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Re: Which of Valve's creative guns doyou want?

Postby Anasazi » Sun Mar 02, 2008 6:33 pm UTC

Portal gun and heel springs (parkour!), or (more likely) the physics gun from Garry's Mod, muahahaha

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Re: Which of Valve's creative guns doyou want?

Postby Felstaff » Sun Mar 02, 2008 8:26 pm UTC

Open portal (orange): next to computer.
Close portal (blue): next to fridge.

Hello, Deep Vein Thrombosis.

Man, I'd gravity gun that cheese dip over to save me from leaning forward.
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Re: Which of Valve's creative guns doyou want?

Postby Dobblesworth » Mon Mar 03, 2008 12:42 am UTC

I think the Portal Gun would be generally best for daily life. There's a large chunk of my back that I sometimes wished I could give a good well-defined scratch.
Blue Portal floor
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Re: Which of Valve's creative guns doyou want?

Postby aleflamedyud » Mon Mar 03, 2008 5:57 am UTC

I'm going to have to vote for Getting the Science Done.
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Re: Which of Valve's creative guns doyou want?

Postby rrwoods » Mon Mar 03, 2008 4:50 pm UTC

Dobblesworth wrote:I think the Portal Gun would be generally best for daily life. There's a large chunk of my back that I sometimes wished I could give a good well-defined scratch.
Blue Portal floor
Orange Portal wall
Reach down through blue, scratch/rub self through orange.

That would be so strange... I mean seeing yourself through the portal would be strange enough, but could you imagine reaching forward, scratching the skin you see there, and feeling it on your back?
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Re: Which of Valve's creative guns doyou want?

Postby EvanED » Mon Mar 03, 2008 4:55 pm UTC

If it meant I could scratch my back, I think I could get used to it very quickly.

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Re: Which of Valve's creative guns doyou want?

Postby Mr. Beck » Wed Mar 05, 2008 5:26 am UTC

The portal gun is in every way better. For about a week after beating Portal (the first time) I would think "Man, an Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device would me awesome right now. " Making stuff move would be cool, but completely changing the way Space works is so much better.
That game really changed the way I think about Space.

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Re: Which of Valve's creative guns doyou want?

Postby coppro » Fri Mar 07, 2008 3:36 am UTC

Mr. Beck wrote:The portal gun is in every way better. For about a week after beating Portal (the first time) I would think "Man, an Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device would me awesome right now. " Making stuff move would be cool, but completely changing the way Space works is so much better.
That game really changed the way I think about Space.
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Re: Which of Valve's creative guns doyou want?

Postby SlyReaper » Sun Mar 09, 2008 10:59 pm UTC

Hehe, I'm glad I'm not the only one. Soon after playing Portal, I used to look at all the vertical surfaces on my walk to university and think to myself "damn, if only I had an ACTUAL portal gun, this walk could be so much more interesting."

Here's a thought experiment: suppose portals could be attached to weighted storage cubes and that they didn't disappear when the surface moved. What would happen if you put a portalled cube through a portal on the wall?
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Re: Which of Valve's creative guns doyou want?

Postby rrwoods » Mon Mar 10, 2008 8:44 pm UTC

Someone from Valve should code that up and make a video. I'm sure it wouldn't be too hard; lift the restriction on portals on moving surfaces and do it.
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