Awesome Student Quotes

[mathgeek17]

This happened in chemistry:
Teacher: Next is density.
Student: That was my dog's name! Oh, wait, that was Destiny, never mind.

[Djehutynakht]

Nobel-Prize winning physicist Sheldon Glasgow (I don't watch it, but for any fan of "The Big Bang Theory" I found out that he's who the character Sheldon is named after) spoke in my school yesterday. He was technically a student once, and talking about his studies in Advanced Chemistry.

I'm paraphrasing because I don't remember exactly, but:

"In advanced Chemistry we were given a project where we were given something, grains, rice, etc, and told to ferment it into alcohol. You see, our teacher was an alcoholic..."

Ah, for the days when chemistry classes were less regulated...

[MisterCheif]

I am the president of the FTC team at my school, and on Friday we were discussing the what we might be asked in the judging at the regional qualifier on Saturday. We were going over what we would each say about what we contributed to the robots design, and one of my friends, and the person other than me who contributed the most to the design and building said this:

"Yeah, I, uh, mainly just taped the battery wires onto the batteries. And I guess I helped a little with putting the zip-ties on the sweeper. Oh, and I tightened a couple of the screws."

Of course, after we all failed to not laugh, he described what he did seriously, so we knew he wouldn't do that at the qualifier. (Which we did very well at. ur first Inspire Award! And I guess being the other team in the winning alliance is nice too.)

[Monika]

What does FTC stand for? Besides Federal Trade Commission that is.

[mathgeek17]

What does FTC stand for? Besides Federal Trade Commission that is.

First Tech Challenge
http://www.usfirst.org/roboticsprograms/ftc

[Joren]

So I used to have a guy and a girl in my class, that consisted of 8 persons, that had to argue and disagree with everything. One day the boy left the class to go to the bathroom. And the girl starting to complain that the guy was getting more crazy by the day. Exactly when she finished the sentence, the guy walked in and yelled : 'I'm an airplane.' In which he ran through the classroom with his arms spread, you know, like an airplane.

[Little Richie]

I'm helping out at my old high schools Calc class.

*senior walks into the classroom, looks at the teachers desk by the door*
Him to Teacher: Good afternoon Ms. [name]
Teacher: Oh hey [name]. You're looking nice today.
Him: *in a serious voice* aw thanks, my mom picked it out this morning.
Teacher: oh w...well..ah...

He sits down on the other side of the room and starts laughing.

[aldonius]

I'm helping out at my old high schools Calc class.
Him: *in a serious voice* aw thanks, my mom picked it out this morning.

And if you (I) assume the existence of a uniform, it gets even better!

[Little Richie]

I'm helping out at my old high schools Calc class.
Him: *in a serious voice* aw thanks, my mom picked it out this morning.

And if you (I) assume the existence of a uniform, it gets even better!

Bahahaha indeed!

[Isaac_Andersen]

[In classroom]

Girl: It's cold in here!

Other Girl: No, it's room temperature.

[darkone238]

In what is essentially Math Analysis (trig, precalc) in my high school, a girl leaned over and whispered to ask me: "What's a slope?"

[Chant]

Lecture on England in the 17th century
"The Scots came down with their bagpipes and "... yadda yadda military stuff
a bit later
"Charles II was the party king, he would play scrabble [have sex with] with anything with a pulse and a skirt -"
kid "oh well those Scots better watch out"

[Odilo]

We were watching a movie in class and trying to convince our teacher that he didn't need to fast forward a scene with a bit of nudity, because it was nothing we haven't seen before. He didn't believe us (or pretended not to), so one girl put up her hand and said:
"That's right, I shower with my clothes on."

[Krealr]

*Student eating a piece of chocolate*
"This is really awful"
*takes another bite*
"I think its old I found it in the basement"
*takes another bite*
"It tastes like metal"
*takes another bite while leaving the room*

[JCPenney]

So, in one of my 6th grade music classes today, we were watching parts of Fantasia. We started with Beethoven's "Pastoral" Symphony (the one with the pegasuses (pegasi?) and the unicorns and the centaurs).
When we got to the section with Bacchus, the god of wine and drunkenness (what would be the third movement of the symphony, found here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dh8vuxyL6X8), one of my students said, "Hey, it's my dad!"

[roochkeez]

Various quotes from my high school Spanish class:

"How do you say quesadilla in Spanish?"
"Oh! That's why they call it Uno!" (referring to the card game)
"Acabo de hacer caca." (English: I just pooped)

That's all I can remember.

[Timefly]

It was a charity day, so I just happened to be dressed up as a nun. About third period I went into our physics room to talk to the teacher while some younger class was in there. One of the girls in the class goes, "Isn't that racist?"

[Timefly]

Oh, got another one.

We were in history and we had just spent our third lesson on the differences between democracy and dictatorships. Conversation went something like this.

Me: I'm telling you, Jamie, we're gonna do another lesson on democracy.
Jamie: People aren't that stupid.
Me turning around: Kate, what's the difference between democracy and dictatorship?
Kate begins to look through her book.
About 5 minutes later...
Kate: Democracy is good, dictatorships are bad.

[-AJ]

Band Teacher: What does mp mean? (medium quiet)
Student: Mighty Powerful?

Later
Band Teacher: What does ff mean (very loud)
Different Student: Faint and Feeble?

[Krealr]

This weekend at a Battle of the Books competition my daughter was competing in. (3-5th graders)

Moderator: "What is the name of the oldest civil rights group in America, your answer can either be the entire name or the initials."
Other Team: "The K.K.K."

You could just see all the parents in the room biting there tongues. To the moderators credit she just replied "That is incorrect" and moved on.

[somitomi]

An all time classic from German class: We were reading a text, paragraph by paragraph or so and then roughly translating each paragraph to Hungarian. The person translating the beginning looks at the first sentence ("Mia am fenster") and goes: "Mia is the window"...

After the laughter died we cleared that the sentence means "Mia at the window".
That kid was kind of odd and had a really eccentric sense of humour, so I wish I remembered more of his antics.

One not too bright kid trying to phone it in during a history test, in response to what happened on a particular date:
"Ukrainian guest workers march into Hungary with forklifts"
IIRC the period of history in question predated both forklifts and Ukraine

[flicky1991]

I once experienced a similar one to your "Mia is the window" case - someone in French class translated "elle travaille sur un ordinateur" ("she works on a computer") as "she travels on a computer", which became a running joke in my circle of friends for a while.

[somitomi]

Not exactly a student quote per se, but the day I learned what "Mitglied" means is kind of funny. We were reading a collection of article titles and suchlike, and one of them included this word we haven't seen before. All we knew is that some artists painted the "Mitglieder" of a motorbike club. As usual the teacher asked us to make guesses about the meaning of the unknown word based on context. Much to the teacher's amusement I suggested "sidecar", because that's something 1) a motorbike club would have and 2) might need to be painted.
In the end she revealed "Mitglied" means "member".
To this day I don't understand how painting the sidecars of a motorbike club is more absurd than painting the members of it (apparently it was some publicity stunt).

[Himself]

Freshman biology class September 2007: "Do snowflakes have cells?"

[SuicideJunkie]

Not exactly a student quote per se, but the day I learned what "Mitglied" means is kind of funny. We were reading a collection of article titles and suchlike, and one of them included this word we haven't seen before. All we knew is that some artists painted the "Mitglieder" of a motorbike club. As usual the teacher asked us to make guesses about the meaning of the unknown word based on context. Much to the teacher's amusement I suggested "sidecar", because that's something 1) a motorbike club would have and 2) might need to be painted.
In the end she revealed "Mitglied" means "member".
To this day I don't understand how painting the sidecars of a motorbike club is more absurd than painting the members of it (apparently it was some publicity stunt).

If the idea of "painting" was mentally locked into being "creating a painting of" rather than the option of being "applying paint to", then it would be somewhat absurd.
(Wanting to paint, say, a mural of their sidecars and leaving out the bikes themselves would be a strange sort of motorcycle club)

[somitomi]

If the idea of "painting" was mentally locked into being "creating a painting of" rather than the option of being "applying paint to", then it would be somewhat absurd.
(Wanting to paint, say, a mural of their sidecars and leaving out the bikes themselves would be a strange sort of motorcycle club)

Yeah, that makes sense. I can't remember which word was used there, malen can mean both, but streichen is used only in the second sense I think. I distinctly remember understanding it in the "applying paint to" sense, maybe it was streichen, maybe I was stupid.

[Monika]

Er malt die Motorräder = He creates a picture of a motorcycle by putting paint on paper or other suitable material
Er malt die Motorräder an = Er streicht die Motorräder = He changes or renews the colors of the motorcycles

[jewish_scientist]

This is not really that awesome; it is not even a quote. I just though you would enjoy the mystery.

I am am going to preform statistical analysis on porn that requires that I view the explicit material for the final paper, the minimal length of I plan on doubling, of a English Composition II class, where I am allowed to choose the subject, and am planing on publishing as an article under my real name.

$100 to the first person to guess why I am doing this.

[Monika]

You are trying to become a porn star