BULLIES ;_;

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rat4000
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Re: BULLIES ;_;

Postby rat4000 » Fri Feb 27, 2009 11:53 pm UTC

I'm assuming that the "problem" we're facing is getting bullied and not the inability to make friends.

If so: physical abuse is not right. True. Returning physical abuse with physical abuse is... even less right.

If you are saying that you should just fight back to the point where they realise they can't beat you up (while trying not to hurt them), I can agree with that. However, beating someone up because they wanted to beat you up is wrong. Someone gets hurt, and whether it is you or someone else is irrelevant - claiming otherwise would mean calling yourself special, which you seem to advise against.

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Re: BULLIES ;_;

Postby Gears » Sat Feb 28, 2009 2:18 am UTC

Can someone explain why fighting back against an aggressor is wrong? Propose a new solution.
General_Norris wrote:I notice a lack of counter-arguments and a lot of fisting.

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Re: BULLIES ;_;

Postby BlackSails » Sat Feb 28, 2009 5:00 am UTC

rat4000 wrote:
If so: physical abuse is not right. True. Returning physical abuse with physical abuse is... even less right..


Not all violence is abuse.

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Re: BULLIES ;_;

Postby OrthoNormal » Sat Feb 28, 2009 7:02 am UTC

rat4000 wrote:I'm assuming that the "problem" we're facing is getting bullied and not the inability to make friends.

If so: physical abuse is not right. True. Returning physical abuse with physical abuse is... even less right.

If you are saying that you should just fight back to the point where they realise they can't beat you up (while trying not to hurt them), I can agree with that. However, beating someone up because they wanted to beat you up is wrong. Someone gets hurt, and whether it is you or someone else is irrelevant - claiming otherwise would mean calling yourself special, which you seem to advise against.



If you say that you choose to not to respond to violence but in reality do not even have the option of responding to violence, then your choice is not a choice at all. Moreover, this mode of behaviour probably attracts more bullying.
"However, beating someone up because they wanted to beat you up is wrong..
claiming otherwise would mean calling yourself special, which you seem to advise against"

Replacing the instinct of self preservation with morals that are not grounded in reality is quite special.
Would you say the same thing if the person that was being bullied was your little brother? One of your parents? Your girlfriend?

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Re: BULLIES ;_;

Postby TaintedDeity » Sat Feb 28, 2009 10:29 am UTC

All of you suggesting to beat up the bully seem to be forgetting a really obvious solution.
Talk to a teacher, if they're idiots and ignore you, then talk to the police.
Some authority will respond and the problem will be solved eventually.

Why try and beat the bully at their own game? Get some allies with power.
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Re: BULLIES ;_;

Postby rat4000 » Sat Feb 28, 2009 12:16 pm UTC

Allow me to remind you that I said responding to violence with violence (if they hit you, hit them) isn't wrong. And even then, it is far better to go to a teacher with witnesses who'll say that the bully started it rather than just go on hitting them when they hit you.

Responding to violence with excessive violence (if they hit you, get some friends and break their arms - hyperbolising here, but you get the point) is wrong.

The family and girlfriend thing is kind of irrelevant since what I'm saying only holds if you're getting bullied. No one I love has ever been bullied, and if they did, I suppose I'd do what they ask me to do since I love them. However, considering that both my parents and my girlfriend tend to share my views (I've got no siblings) I think I wouldn't be asked to do anything.

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Re: BULLIES ;_;

Postby OrthoNormal » Sat Feb 28, 2009 12:54 pm UTC

rat4000 wrote:Allow me to remind you that I said responding to violence with violence (if they hit you, hit them) isn't wrong. And even then, it is far better to go to a teacher with witnesses who'll say that the bully started it rather than just go on hitting them when they hit you.

Responding to violence with excessive violence (if they hit you, get some friends and break their arms - hyperbolising here, but you get the point) is wrong.

The family and girlfriend thing is kind of irrelevant since what I'm saying only holds if you're getting bullied. No one I love has ever been bullied, and if they did, I suppose I'd do what they ask me to do since I love them. However, considering that both my parents and my girlfriend tend to share my views (I've got no siblings) I think I wouldn't be asked to do anything.


You would stand by and watch them get harrased, unless they directly asked you to help?

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Re: BULLIES ;_;

Postby rat4000 » Sat Feb 28, 2009 1:52 pm UTC

I did say that my advice was about being harassed yourself.

I don't have siblings, and my parents are far better at handling bullies than I am. Besides, physical abuse on adults is typically something for the police to handle, not for the adult's children, even if those children are adults themselves.

If any guy insults my girlfriend seriously, I'm quite likely to jump at them, true, but that's a rather specific case. If a girl insults my girlfriend, I can't really help, can I? And she can handle idiots quite well, too. Just like most of the smart people I know.

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Re: BULLIES ;_;

Postby Rakysh » Sun Mar 01, 2009 10:18 am UTC

I think your attitude to violence is purely personal, and stems from how you were brought up. If you were told from a young age that all violence is wrong, then that tends to be what you believe. Same with if you if you have been told that it's OK to fight back. Arguing over it is pointless- I don't think anyone is really going to change how they live their life because a stranger tells you you're wrong.

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Re: BULLIES ;_;

Postby Pandora_Bound » Sun Mar 01, 2009 2:57 pm UTC

Alright, time for my bullying story.
Spoiler:
8 years of my life, from 1st through 8th grade at a small private Catholic school. At that school, the classes didn't change that much so the same 60 kids which were in my first grade were in my class up until high school. The bullying was perpetrated by more or less the same 6-10 kids throughout. Occasionally one would seem to grow out of it, but later they would remember how much fun it was to pick on me and would return into the fold. The main problem was that these kids were smart. They would get physical (the first tooth i lost was when I was punched in the face by one of them), but only when they could get away with it. The the verbal harassments were constant, always present when they were just out of earshot of the teacher or when the teacher was too stupid to get the true meaning behind what was said.

I went to my parents, who eventually just didn't believe me, thinking that I had cried wolf too many times. I went to the administration- that yielded results, it would stop for about 2 weeks, until the teachers would loose interest and then it would get even worse as I 'ratted them out'. I did this multiple times, all with the same result. With your parents not believing you and the administration losing faith, the only thing I could do was wait it out.

This was a private, Catholic elementary and middle school teaching that if you pray to God then he will help you. That nonviolence is the answer and that loving your enemy and turning the cheek was the way to go. That was drilled into me from childhood.

It didn't work.

The only way I got out of it was when I graduated and was accepted to an IB high school in a different city; even then I was nearly sent to the Catholic high school in the area where all of my former classmates were going. (Gotta love parents that seriously considered joining Opus Dei.) One of the things I chiefly regret about my time being bullied is that I never once fought back, even when I was being beaten. I nearly did once, but I chickened out and it made it all the worse. And that isn't just hopeful fantasy either, there was another kid in the grade below me who was in a similar situation. Eventually he fought back; it stopped.

I eventually had to go to a psychologist in 10th grade when my parents and a teacher wanted me to get tested for ADD. I didn't have ADD, but on one of the tests they found some severe mental issues that they wanted to sort out. I had to go to a shrink for about a year, unwillingly and a rather unpleasant experience as a whole, but he was able to get enough info to diagnose me with PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder). Some aspects of my psych reminded him of POWs and war veterans. I don't agree with what he says for various reasons, but there you go.

All and all, whose attitudes and beliefs aren't personal? And aren't all brought about by the experiences you had, both while growing up and now? I believe violence is a viable option, it might have saved me from much of the emotional scars that I still carry to this day, and those probably won't ever fully heal. I can't convince anyone that violence was right or wrong in the situation I was in. But I can say that violence should be an option on the table, even if its not the first option you choose.
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Re: BULLIES ;_;

Postby Cadvin » Sun Mar 01, 2009 9:14 pm UTC

OrthoNormal wrote:Snip (bullies are stupid, I pity them - that's why I let them abuse me, I'm a pacifist) Snip


If you're a pacifist, then why the heck is your first response "Beat them up," Rather than get a teacher? I mean, get real. You're not really a very good pacifist if you jump and argue that you should beat people up rather than solve it peacefully. It's okay to do it if it's right then and their, if only till you can slip away and alert someone. But no matter how much karate you learn, most likely some huge 300 pound guy holding your arms at your sides and two people punching you in the stomach...

Remember, the bullies have friends too, and they're going to fight dirty, even break the law sometimes. It's because they are stupid. You, are looking at them and putting the situation into how you think they will react, not how they will react. Physical never works for long, because they are the majority. they're idiots; the majority of the world is composed of idiots. It's life.

It's what comes of doing your best to prevent natural selection. The idiots. They breed. We have to stop them!!

EDIT: If you DO find yourself in a situation where you need to fight, do NOT punch with your fist. CERTAINLY do not do a swinging punch. Use jabs, hopefully to the upper lip, or palmstrikes; forward, strait punches with your lower palm.

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Re: BULLIES ;_;

Postby BlackSails » Sun Mar 01, 2009 10:21 pm UTC

Cadvin wrote:
EDIT: If you DO find yourself in a situation where you need to fight, do NOT punch with your fist. CERTAINLY do not do a swinging punch. Use jabs, hopefully to the upper lip, or palmstrikes; forward, strait punches with your lower palm.


No.

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Re: BULLIES ;_;

Postby Gears » Mon Mar 02, 2009 1:11 am UTC

I would certainly have to say punches are what I used to knock out some prick that kept making fun of my girlfriend. Most certainly do not try a dragon kick or the like, that you see in kung fu movies, in your first fight, only use what you think would *actually* work.
General_Norris wrote:I notice a lack of counter-arguments and a lot of fisting.

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Re: BULLIES ;_;

Postby Cadvin » Mon Mar 02, 2009 2:20 am UTC

BlackSails wrote:No.


And why not? You're much more likely to just break your fingers if you do a moviepunch.
And I'm talking about headpunches here, I suppose I forgot to clarify in my other post.
And knuckle forward punches are good for lower, chest areas, but the punch I was talking about was the flat of finger forward punch. I've broken a finger doing that. (On a wall mind you, but still.)

Of course, the technique I'm thinking about is a bit more oriented toward people that'll actually try to block your punches.

Of course, groin attacks are always a good option on male bullies. Do it hard enough and you can knock them out, but either way they're going to be on the ground.

And if you're REALLY desperate, kiss him. On the lips.

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Re: BULLIES ;_;

Postby BlackSails » Mon Mar 02, 2009 2:03 pm UTC

Open palm strikes are more likely to break your wrist.

You cant give someone advice in 5 minutes to help them in a fight. Its like trying to help someone pass a test they know nothing about in 5 minutes. Its probably better to just go to the teacher and tell her that you didnt even know you were taking this class.

If you dont mind putting some work in:
If you want to be competant in a fight, go to a jiujitsu school and ask them to teach you how to do a single leg and double leg takedown. Practice that for a while*.

Then go to an MMA gym, and ask to practice taking (from side control) and keeping mount and ground and pound. Practice that for a while*.

Then go to the gym alot and make sure you are at least in reasonable shape.

*: A while means a while. Not 5, or 10 minutes. It takes time to develop useful skills.


Congratulations, unless your opponent is trained (such as on the wrestling team), or much larger and stronger than you, you can probably beat them in a fight. Just make sure you dont miss the takedown.


If you really want to hit someone, you need to practice. Just like doing integrals, hitting someone right takes both effort and training. Keep your fist tight. Hit with the first two knuckles on your first two fingers. Keep your thumb on the outside. Keep your wrist straight. I suggest hitting a heavy bag alot before you try to hit another person. Even better, take up an actual martial art.

Gears wrote:I would certainly have to say punches are what I used to knock out some prick that kept making fun of my girlfriend. Most certainly do not try a dragon kick or the like, that you see in kung fu movies, in your first fight, only use what you think would *actually* work.



Thats good advice for all your fights - only use things that works. Unless you outclass your opponent so completely, that you feel safe in mocking them by using movie kung fu

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Re: BULLIES ;_;

Postby Cadvin » Mon Mar 02, 2009 11:22 pm UTC

Base palm, not open palm. It worked better for me than punches did. It lacks a bit in power, but it'll send them running if you can get one in. I'm not talking about what you should do in a real fight, but what you should do to just get a single hit in. Then they run off; might leave you alone, might get more buddies. Either way, you can get out of a fight. Punches are fine if they are to the soft stomach, but it hurts like hell if you twist a knuckle the wrong way. Or do something with knuckles, not sure if it was twist, jam, or get it off to the side, but either way whatever it is hurts. It's best to do a quick nose-breaker/groin attack, then skirt off. It saved me (he nosepalm thing, not the knee-in-groin, but I don't need experience to figure that one our) when someone was trying to lock me out of the gym. If I hadn't been rushing with adrenaline and wanting to get away, I would have closed to door on him. It didn't break his nose, but any sort of jab hurts.

But middle-half-finger jabs in the upper back are good if their back's facing you. But only about 1/10 times, if you don't know where exactly to hit. Which I don't, but still.

Anyway, if you're seeking to end a fight, do what two people have said and do what you think will work. Punches just don't work for me, they never have, I can do jabs much faster and harder. Other people might punch pretty fast and hard, but I just lack the ability to do so.

But the best way to win fights is avoid them altogether, so don't go seeking fights, whether you're a bully or someone else.


Oddly, though, people tend to avoid me when I'm with my friend that can give you an evil bear hug that is inescapable. Or a head lock, but the bear hug is a pretty nice stretch.

(PS., I think my brother snuck on and edited something...)

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Re: BULLIES ;_;

Postby Alpha Omicron » Sat Mar 07, 2009 7:52 am UTC

I'm being bullied. In university. You can never escape them, can you?
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Re: BULLIES ;_;

Postby Enid Coleslaw » Sat Mar 07, 2009 11:45 am UTC

i've never encountered any serious physical bullying, but attending an all girl boarding school resulted in a lot of emotional and psychological bullying. there was a clique mentality, but it more revolved around who your parents were, or who they knew. i'm never one to resort to the "all girls are bitches!" line, but teenage girls can be rather, well, unpleasent.

worst 5 years of my life. so far.

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Re: BULLIES ;_;

Postby modified-features » Sat Mar 07, 2009 1:54 pm UTC

teenage girls can be appalling, it's true.
They know how to make you feel like you're constantly being watched and if you make a wrong move you'll never hear the end of it, but it seems like even those doing the bullying are so worried about making that precious wrong move and being in the limelight of the school's most hated, they might as well be. It swings in roundabouts I guess.
In my school, it was more about how you looked and who you were dating. Oh and IQ and popularity were of course, nearly always inversely proportional. >.<

I wouldn't condemn violence, but neither would I exactly condone it. In some circumstances, I can see it to be an understandable course of action and maybe in some even the most effective, but I don't think it should become a first resort by any means. Personally, I just feel really uncomfortable with violence and so couldn't hit anyone, but as I said, I can understand others feeling it's their only option.
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Re: BULLIES ;_;

Postby TaintedDeity » Sat Mar 07, 2009 6:51 pm UTC

Alpha Omicron wrote:I'm being bullied. In university. You can never escape them, can you?

Surely this is easy to deal with, at that age people are more sensible (I hope) and contacting authorities will have more impact.
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Re: BULLIES ;_;

Postby Black.Rose.Immortal » Mon Mar 09, 2009 11:41 am UTC

I'm being bullied. By a teacher. Who is trying to pressure me into doing debating and dropping a class.

I don't want to do either, and have been assured by two other teachers that I don't have to, but she still pressures me about it. I'm uncomfortable about going to English class (it's my English teacher) and want to change classes. I really do not like this teacher. A lot.
17/F/Australian/weird

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Re: BULLIES ;_;

Postby rat4000 » Mon Mar 09, 2009 6:54 pm UTC

Why don't you take it to the principal (or whatever they're called in Australia)? No teacher should ever pressure a student into anything, and it's extremely ugly as they have more power than students. I expect everyone would be on your side...

Or, if you don't think this will work, just swear at the teacher till he leaves you alone. Or don't talk to him at all. He's not a student, I doubt he'd come and shout in your face if you ignored him...

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Re: BULLIES ;_;

Postby TaintedDeity » Mon Mar 09, 2009 7:28 pm UTC

It's in university, shouting and swearing at the would be a bad idea.
In fact, shouting and swearing at teachers is always a bad idea... :|
There's got to be somebody higher up you can talk to, even tiny worries are important if they stop you learning.
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Re: BULLIES ;_;

Postby rat4000 » Mon Mar 09, 2009 8:43 pm UTC

Her signature says she's 16. University? :shock:

It's a bad idea, but it's not the only one I suggested, and it's also fun as he can't do anything (it IS his fault, and if he takes it to a higher power it will still be his fault, though she might get reprimanded for shouting at him).

Admittedly, the two other ideas I offered are far better.

Edited for slightly better English.
Last edited by rat4000 on Mon Mar 09, 2009 9:31 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: BULLIES ;_;

Postby TaintedDeity » Mon Mar 09, 2009 9:02 pm UTC

Oh my I feel stupid...
Somehow I got Alpha Omicron's post confused with Black.Rose.Immortal's.
I, er, think it's the red avatars...
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Re: BULLIES ;_;

Postby Themata » Tue Mar 10, 2009 11:16 am UTC

Black.Rose's (and my) english teacher is a female, not that it makes any difference. All the teachers involved in debating at our school seem to be very fucking manipulative. I pretty much had no choice in the matter when I was forced into debating last week (well, it was my choice but they have a way of making you feel REALLY fucking uncomfortable), and yeah. It's stupid because Black.Rose is an absolutely amazing student and doesn't deserve any of this, since she can easily handle the 14 units she's doing but teachers should understand that debating on top of that is too fucking much, and education comes before the school's reputation (the teachers actually told us that they didn't want us to be any good, but they just need us to have a team so that the other senior team can compete, so taking time out of our friday nights, our study time, my night where I need to go to sleep early so I can wake up at 5:30 fucking a.m for work, just so that the school has a good reputation. Fuck off)

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Re: BULLIES ;_;

Postby Black.Rose.Immortal » Tue Mar 10, 2009 11:32 am UTC

Themata's post made me feel good :D And so did everyone else who offered help, thanks guys.

Funny you say university and 16, one of my units is made up of a university course :P

Anyway, about this bully of a teacher, I can speak to my year coordinator and hope that she thinks its a reasonable excuse to switch classes, then I would have to speak to the head of the English department, and hope that the classes aren't full and it would have to be plausible to switch classes... it may not be able to happen, but I live in hope.

Thanks again everyone who helped/supported me :)
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Re: BULLIES ;_;

Postby rat4000 » Tue Mar 10, 2009 1:27 pm UTC

Heh, good luck. Hopefully they see reason :)

And 16 and university (as in being a full-time university student) is not impossible, but unlikely enough to widen my eyes :wink:

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Re: BULLIES ;_;

Postby sgt york » Wed Mar 11, 2009 6:23 pm UTC

I'm not sure exactly how to deal with them, but I do know how not to deal with them. I got pushed around a lot back in school, and I geeked out on beating people up. I worked out and studied how to fight; I got really good at it. It worked, nobody bullied me anymore, but in the long run it would have been better to have let it continue. Lots of problems down that road, and you do not want to go there.

Ignoring them works only sometimes, but often it just ups the stakes. They keep escalating until you do respond. There were two pieces of advice I got as a kid, though, that I wish I had tried instead. They haunted me for a long time as I dealt with the consequences of the choices I did make.

The first is you must realize, accept, and recognize two related facts about how the world operates. It's as true as gravity, magnetism, and entropy. Convince yourself of this. (1) You have no control over the actions of other people unless they relinquish that control. (2) You can have complete control over your own actions, unless you relinquish that control. This is true of every person in the world, including the person that's pushing you around. He has no control over your actions. Act like it. If you don't control yourself, you are giving the other person the opportunity to take that control away from you.

The second is that eternally persisting in being nice to people for the sake of being nice is the best form of revenge.

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Re: BULLIES ;_;

Postby OmegaLordX » Sun Mar 15, 2009 5:44 pm UTC

To begin, everything is from my experience, so YMMV. Or YHWH.
Don't cheapen yourself. It will only work in the short run. If you respond to everything they say with more ammunition for their attacks on you, it will only get worse. I would say from experience that if you aren't looking for a fight, a fight won't find you. What you can do is not allow them to faze you. If a bully calls you some name to which you take offense, there are ways of not being fazed and brushing them off at the same time (again, YMMV). "Wow, [name], you're fat." "Well, others may disagree." Oddly enough, this has worked for me. In my experience, most of the people who are jerks are not bright. If you say something confidently that they don't understand, they can't throw your words back at you. (Alternatively, learn another language and respond to the bully exclusively is said language, especially if this language is not a Romance language (Russian works amazingly for this purpose. We've used it to scare off telemarketers.))
If they do try the "repeat-everything-you-say" technique, unless they are the most idiotic and dull person on the face of the planet, it still won't work to say something self-deprecating in the hopes that they will repeat it. The proper response in my past has been to remain utterly silent and avoid eye contact because they, like animals, perceive it as some kind of threat. If you do feel like unnerving them, put on your calmest face, meet their eyes and do not blink. If you can keep this up, they will often be too alarmed to do anything back. Which is odd, because, "S/He can keep his/her eyes open for a while!" does not work for gossip. If you responded with anything that they could use against you, they will.
But then again, I'm a weird thespian kid. But please don't fight people unless you are being fought. Don't instigate it without any kind of proof because then it just looks like you've assaulted them. Fight verbal fire with verbal fire. But if worst comes to worst and you are being advanced upon, a swift and righteous knee to the genitals is quite possibly the most effective, albeit the dirtiest, move I've ever seen. If they're on the ground, find someone in charge and explain what happened so that any members of the bully's friends (because somehow they have friends!) doesn't get there first and pin the blame on you. Don't kick them when they are down.
Above all, attempt to retain, as previously stated, the moral high ground.

EDIT: tl;dr: The two things the poster above me stated are also very true.
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Re: BULLIES ;_;

Postby TheOtherDOOMGuy » Sun Mar 15, 2009 6:37 pm UTC

Yeah I was bullied in secondary school.
My uncle took me in, taught me JuJitsu. Nothing scared the bully more than seeing me one moment, next feeling extreme pain, as he lay lying on the ground.

If you can, then by all means, learn a good martial art. It teaches you self-discipline, and of course, you'll have tricks to hurt the bullies.
Make sure you are a quick learner before you try to use it against them though. Be skilled at it.

Only use violence if nothing else works. Ignoring bullies, on the whole usually works, but sometimes they are very slow, and something will snap. Keep control, and just do what it takes to get them to stop.
There was a guy in my school, same thing as me, but he lost it, really hurt the bully, and got expelled.

Keep your cool, if you finally decide to go down the path I was forced to go down, and dont hurt the bully, just show him : I COULD hurt you, but I'm not you. Be afraid of me, because next time, I won't just drop you to the floor.
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Re: BULLIES ;_;

Postby tentacleTherapist » Fri Mar 20, 2009 9:32 pm UTC

I've been bullied in varying degrees throughout my life but I really can't be arsed typing about it at the moment, so I shall leave you with some helpful advice I got in a fortune cookie one time (for reals): "Be kind to your enemies. It messes with their heads."
Tumblr-ma-doodle
Spoiler:
You will see my shadow
On every wall

Rilian
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Re: BULLIES ;_;

Postby Rilian » Sat Mar 21, 2009 8:48 pm UTC

I was bullied so much in grades 1 and 2 that I've probably forgotten most of it by now. You remember the days that stand out, not the days that are the same as every other. I was bullied in grades 4 and 5, too, and to a lesser extent in grades 7, 8, and 9.

In elementary school (grades 1 and 2), the other kids would often try not to do whatever I was doing at lunch time. If I was drinking chocolate milk, other people would get white milk or strawberry. If I had my feet up, they'd put their feet down. If I was eating peas, they'd eat something else. The only way I could deal with it was to change constantly and do things like shove all my food in my mouth at once. I should have just kicked their assses. God, fuck this topic.
And I'm -2.

Rilian
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Re: BULLIES ;_;

Postby Rilian » Sat Mar 21, 2009 8:55 pm UTC

Marz wrote:Evidently all the people saying "yeah! Beat the bullies up!" have either not been properly bullied, or aren't remembering the experience. When you're a teenager, you don't have confidence (not least because it's been beaten out of you); you don't think "yeah, I'll fight back!" You think, "shit shit shit, why is this happening to me?"


Me, I was 6-8 years old when the worst bullying happened, and I was hardpressed to defend myself because I was always overwhelmed with shock at how mean they could be, how they always seemed to out-do themselves. FYI, the teachers bullied me also, not just the classmates. Actually, it was because there was no logic to the things they said and did. I would be trying to figure out WHY they did it, and therefore I would not fight back.
And I'm -2.

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Vieto
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Re: BULLIES ;_;

Postby Vieto » Sun Mar 22, 2009 12:28 am UTC

I must agree, bullying sucks. I was bullied for all of elementary school, even after switching schools going into 5th grade (for the school's gifted program). I must say, though, that it is really difficult to fight back when your head is being bashed into a brick wall, in the mens change room. Thankfully, the bullying spontaneously stopped when I went to high school (away from the bullies, though I missed a few good schooling opportunities in the process), but for some reason I've had a really bad sense of humor since.

And I should mention that for the 8 years I as bullied, I tried everything. I even tried taking martial arts, but the place closed down, and when I tried going somewhere else, one of the bullies went there, so I left. It also sucks when all the bullies have black belts, and the teachers/principal never do anything. It really wears on your self confidence after a while.

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Commoner
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Re: BULLIES ;_;

Postby Commoner » Sun Mar 22, 2009 7:37 pm UTC

BlackSails wrote:
I have one phrase that will cover pretty much anyone who is trying to pick on you, as long as they aren't beating you up: Don't feed the trolls.


I have one that will work when they are beating you up.

Image


IPPON!


I came home one day in 6th grade with a few cuts and bruises after getting into a scuff with a pretty infamous bully.
My next door neighbor saw me walking up our driveway and asked what was wrong, i told him and went on my way.

The next day(Saturday) he came knocking at our door.
That's the day i found out our next door neighbor was a Muay Thai (Chaiya) instructor.
I never did [or had to] fight that bully again.
Unfortunately my instructor moved away a little less than a year later, i wish i knew he was an instructor earlier because i would love to have learned more.

So basically, to deal with a bully:
Either ignore them and run if it gets physical
Learn to kick ass
or pull a good old fashion Hey Arnold!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kyDuo0olwoU

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eaglef2
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Re: BULLIES ;_;

Postby eaglef2 » Fri Mar 27, 2009 9:43 pm UTC

Ignoring them only works for unmotivated bullies. My solution is to find a way to ruin something of theirs without them knowing it could have been you. For example a whore, guy, in my computer science class wouldn't stop harassing me for 6 months, so one day I destroyed a few of the important class projects he was working on. Too bad I was out of school the next day, I wanted to hear his reaction to the important stuff disappearing.

Some of you people however believe that ignoring people will honestly work? Ignoring a problem is the same as admitting defeat to it, I know my way is on a more passive aggressive level and wont do a thing, but at least I'm learning, or trying to, how to become more hands on with the issue. As of now I almost constantly have a facade hiding who I am to show an aggressive side of me, and if I don't find a way to get rid of it, I probably will ruin a mess of business deals and have a bad life. What I am trying to say is that when an issue exists, especially bullying, don't try to disprove its existence or change who you are; make the problem change to suit you.

arckos
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Re: BULLIES ;_;

Postby arckos » Sat Mar 28, 2009 12:17 am UTC

Throughout elementary school I kept to myself, made friends with a few people, and avoided any real confrontation in a school where bullying wasn't exactly rare. In middle school, it was in a similar place with bullying being present, and really didn't run into any bullying problems. I was defiantly an easy target, given that I was 5' tall 100 lbs by the end of 8th grade, and played yugioh cards and hung out with other kids who were into anime etc. On the other hand, I was friends with a big black kid and big Hispanic kid I've known since being in that elementary school, and didn't really have any issues.

I've always been into martial arts, and it has really helped my confidence level physically since midway through middle school. For those of you who are still in high school, and still dealing with bullying, it is something that can really help you. Even if you haven't been able to make friends in a situation where it should be easy, training in a school is a VERY different environment socially. If you aren't worthless physically (ie completely uncoordinated with no signs of improvement) then you can easily work yourself into whatever circle the karate/mma school you might be at, as long as you aren't annoying. I ended up teaching the classes alongside the main instructors, and I can tell you that even those who would seem to be the most socially inept still can make friends in a difficult situation.

This is something I am defiantly going to have my kids join (when that eventually becomes a factor).

On the issue of responding to bullying, sometimes a physical response is necessary. Too many people in their responses go one extreme or another, and that is not realistic at all. When you address someone else suggesting the idea of responding physically, don't beat down the scenario when there are 3-4 others, and then never address when it is one on one, or when you are the one with friends nearby. There are a lot more things you can do than failing by no one in an authority position caring and letting yourself be picked on, or trying to kill someone. Even in middle school I had to carry around heavy books, and I know those hurt when I messed with some of my friends a little bit too much, and that was only when I got hit in the arm with one. Imagine that hitting someone in the stomach or face. Self defense is something that should never be looked down on with scorn or contempt.

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Cadvin
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Re: BULLIES ;_;

Postby Cadvin » Sun Mar 29, 2009 4:43 am UTC

If someone making fun of you, BASH SMASH POW with club. Big club. Always carry around six foot club for BASH SMASH POWING!!

(But really, yeah, a good punch or tackle will make them stop bothering you. The problem is, they may beat you up, or you could be charged with assault and serve jail time. So, if you want to stop physical then do it when they do it. If verbal, just ignore them, they'll soon get bored. Either way, try teacher help first.)

aneeshm
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Re: BULLIES ;_;

Postby aneeshm » Sun Mar 29, 2009 6:31 pm UTC

Vanguard wrote:
I wrote in a blog at some point in time (few years ago) that I somehow, do not have vengeance in my heart.



Well, I do.

If I could do it without getting caught, I would find the person who bullied me, tie him up, blindfold him, gut him, and then slit his throat (you generally live some little time after being disembowelled, or so I've heard).


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