What-if 0079: "Lake Tea"

What if there was a forum for discussing these?

Moderators: Moderators General, Prelates, Magistrates

CharlieP
Posts: 397
Joined: Mon Dec 17, 2012 10:22 am UTC
Location: Nottingham, UK

Re: What-if# 0079: Lake Tea

Postby CharlieP » Thu Jan 16, 2014 12:43 pm UTC

jgh wrote:Heat Ullswater to 80 C? Eugh. Black tea needs to be steeped in near-boiling water, which is why you BOIL the kettle.


Indeed. I've ordered "tea" in some expensive hotels around the world, and instead ended up with a pot or cup of water that may have recently been boiled, and a little packet containing a tampon-like tea bag. I cannot adequately express the level of disappointment that this has created each time. :(
This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine.

User avatar
Quizatzhaderac
Posts: 1798
Joined: Sun Oct 19, 2008 5:28 pm UTC
Location: Space Florida

Re: What-if# 0079: Lake Tea

Postby Quizatzhaderac » Thu Jan 16, 2014 4:11 pm UTC

@speising: I stand corrected.

phas wrote:The ex-SAS Andy McNab in his autobiographic "book" immediate action....
You've piqued my curiosity, in what sense is Immediate Action not a book? Is McNad just a lousy writer? Is it a generalization on the concept of book, like a bunch of papyrus stapled together? Is it something that is entirely not a book, that he just calls a "book"? Is it actually a book, but only being a book ironically?
The thing about recursion problems is that they tend to contain other recursion problems.

keldor
Posts: 80
Joined: Thu Jan 26, 2012 9:18 am UTC

Re: What-if# 0079: Lake Tea

Postby keldor » Fri Jan 17, 2014 12:16 am UTC

Quercus wrote:
phas wrote:
Asking Britain to go without electricity for 20 days just to fill one of their lakes with tea seems like it might be a hard sell.


The ex-SAS Andy McNab in his autobiographic "book" immediate action tells that when he was in ireland fighting the IRA they used to attach big barrels outside the infantry fighting vehicles filling them with tea to constantly supply the sorrounding infrantry. In another book "patrol bravo two zero" he describes his SAS team making tea behind Iraqi enemy lines while they try to hide from a enemy force that is right on top of their heads.

So i won't assume very much about what british guy are ready to do to prepare tea.


Pretty much every British armoured vehicle has a "boiling vessel" fitted for the making of tea. I believe it is actually a specified design requirement. Before this was fitted the alternative was to leave the vehicle and brew up exposed to enemy fire (going without tea would, of course, not be a viable option).


This is clearly an advantage of the old steam powered warships. They come with a convient deluxe sized boiler for making tea.

So, the question becomes: How many cups of tea would you get if you used a steam boiler on a battleship to make tea?

NaWibo
Posts: 1
Joined: Fri Jan 17, 2014 1:58 am UTC

Re: What-if# 0079: Lake Tea

Postby NaWibo » Fri Jan 17, 2014 2:10 am UTC

speising wrote:
Quizatzhaderac wrote:Anyone else notice Randal switched "all the tea in the world" with "all the tea in India"?

where do you see that?

According to the Tea Board of India, one year's global tea harvest


I thought it was odd that "all the tea in the world" became "one year's global tea harvest". Is the amount of tea in existence right now (in a form ready to be brewed) really basically equal to one year's production? I would guess it would be less, i.e. that over the course of a year, we consume most of the tea that has already been produced along with most of the tea produced during the year. Or, that the typical age of the tea getting brewed at any given time is more like one month than one year.

I think it would be more hypothetically accurate to take that annual tea rate and divide by the annual volume flow rate of the Great Lakes.

NotAllThere
Posts: 145
Joined: Fri Aug 06, 2010 12:54 pm UTC

Re: What-if# 0079: Lake Tea

Postby NotAllThere » Fri Jan 17, 2014 6:16 am UTC

The ISO that is missed is http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ISO_3103, which specifies boiling water and milk in first. Of course it specifies the pot must be white porcelain, so Ullswater already fails at this point. Maybe if we removed the water, covered the area with sand and nuked it, that would be a close approximation. Anyway - any British person will insist it is 100°C.

Brenda (Her Maj) won't be interested in complaints about the temperature of tea - she already knows that the right temperature is 100°C. Anything else produces a liquid almost entirely, but not quite, unlike tea.
yangosplat wrote:So many amazing quotes, so little room in 300 characters!

keldor
Posts: 80
Joined: Thu Jan 26, 2012 9:18 am UTC

Re: What-if# 0079: Lake Tea

Postby keldor » Fri Jan 17, 2014 9:25 am UTC

ntoskrnl wrote:
To heat up Ullswater to 80°C would take 6.6×1016 joules of energy—about 20 days worth of British electricity consumption. which is roughly what would be released if you dropped a water bottle full of antimatter in the lake.


What an odd coincidence. I was reading Wikipedia articles on nuclear weapons earlier today. Turns out that the yield of the Castle Bravo test, the biggest nuclear bomb the US has ever detonated, is almost precisely equivalent to the energy required for that – Wolfram Alpha says 15 Mt of TNT equals 6.276×1016 joules.

Now we know why Britain was involved in the Manhattan project.


Now, adjust that to 1954 tea production and 100°C water and see what you get. I can't seem to find any numbers for before 2000 or so :-(

I would think, however, that radioactive tea would be considered substandard.

User avatar
bigglesworth
I feel like Biggles should have a title
Posts: 7461
Joined: Sat Apr 07, 2007 9:29 pm UTC
Location: Airstrip One

Re: What-if# 0079: Lake Tea

Postby bigglesworth » Fri Jan 17, 2014 11:34 am UTC

I tried to see if CERN could just turn off the LHC and begin the Large Teapot Heater experiment, but the amount of power used is nowhere near enough (only 10%) to heat up Lago di Lucendro (a suitably sized Swiss lake) even if you applied the heat over the course of a year (and it'd be cooling off unless you covered it over anyway).

Oh well.
Generation Y. I don't remember the First Gulf War, but do remember floppy disks.

User avatar
Red Hal
Magically Delicious
Posts: 1445
Joined: Wed Nov 28, 2007 2:42 pm UTC

Re: What-if# 0079: Lake Tea

Postby Red Hal » Fri Jan 17, 2014 3:00 pm UTC

The boiling vessel referred to on British armoured vehicles is an FV706656 (actually referred to as a CV, not a BV, nowadays). As to the correct temperature for tea, I'll leave it to The Royal Society of Chemistry to educate the interested reader.
Lost Greatest Silent Baby X Y Z. "There is no one who loves pain itself, who seeks after it and wants to have it, simply because it is pain..."

keldor
Posts: 80
Joined: Thu Jan 26, 2012 9:18 am UTC

Re: What-if# 0079: Lake Tea

Postby keldor » Sat Jan 18, 2014 11:44 am UTC

Red Hal wrote:The boiling vessel referred to on British armoured vehicles is an FV706656 (actually referred to as a CV, not a BV, nowadays). As to the correct temperature for tea, I'll leave it to The Royal Society of Chemistry to educate the interested reader.


Another of the benefits of using the loose tea method described in the aforementioned reference is that it allows the usage of tasseomancy, or tea leaf reading, a well respected[1] method of predicting the future[2]. For instance, finding a 10,000 ton lump of tea leaves at the bottom of your kettle may indicate, although this is not generally reported in any of the relevant literature[citation needed], that, on a personal level, "you will not have any tea tomorrow", as well as suggesting useful commodity trading advice, "the price of tea will increase dramatically in the coming months".

phas
Posts: 11
Joined: Wed Jan 15, 2014 1:45 pm UTC

Re: What-if# 0079: Lake Tea

Postby phas » Mon Jan 20, 2014 4:18 pm UTC

Quizatzhaderac wrote:@speising: I stand corrected.

phas wrote:The ex-SAS Andy McNab in his autobiographic "book" immediate action....
You've piqued my curiosity, in what sense is Immediate Action not a book? Is McNad just a lousy writer? Is it a generalization on the concept of book, like a bunch of papyrus stapled together? Is it something that is entirely not a book, that he just calls a "book"? Is it actually a book, but only being a book ironically?


Well, although the content of the autobiographical books of Mr McNab is in fact a lot interesting, they are so poorly written that i'm embarrassed to admit that I've read them and i'm not completely comfortable to claim that they are proper books.

User avatar
Quercus
Posts: 1806
Joined: Thu Sep 19, 2013 12:22 pm UTC
Location: London, UK
Contact:

Re: What-if# 0079: Lake Tea

Postby Quercus » Thu Jan 23, 2014 1:54 pm UTC

Red Hal wrote:The boiling vessel referred to on British armoured vehicles is an FV706656 (actually referred to as a CV, not a BV, nowadays). As to the correct temperature for tea, I'll leave it to The Royal Society of Chemistry to educate the interested reader.


They get out of it by specifying assam tea, but the correct temperature for tea depends entirely on the type of tea. Green tea made with boiling or near boiling water is an abomination, but made with water at 70-80ºC it is wonderful. The opposite is true for Oolong, which needs to be brewed with water as close to boiling as possible.

User avatar
Klear
Posts: 1965
Joined: Sun Jun 13, 2010 8:43 am UTC
Location: Prague

Re: What-if# 0079: Lake Tea

Postby Klear » Thu Jan 23, 2014 2:14 pm UTC

This discussion is making me want to have a coffee...

User avatar
Quizatzhaderac
Posts: 1798
Joined: Sun Oct 19, 2008 5:28 pm UTC
Location: Space Florida

Re: What-if# 0079: Lake Tea

Postby Quizatzhaderac » Thu Jan 23, 2014 2:25 pm UTC

Lakes are only appropriate for gigatea. The appropriate structure for gigacoffee is a river, with the filter being a hot dam upstream.
The thing about recursion problems is that they tend to contain other recursion problems.

User avatar
PM 2Ring
Posts: 3713
Joined: Mon Jan 26, 2009 3:19 pm UTC
Location: Sydney, Australia

Re: What-if# 0079: Lake Tea

Postby PM 2Ring » Sat Jan 25, 2014 11:28 am UTC

Quizatzhaderac wrote:Lakes are only appropriate for gigatea. The appropriate structure for gigacoffee is a river, with the filter being a hot dam upstream.


Those of us who enjoy Middle Eastern style coffee don't need a dam filter.

:D

User avatar
Klear
Posts: 1965
Joined: Sun Jun 13, 2010 8:43 am UTC
Location: Prague

Re: What-if# 0079: Lake Tea

Postby Klear » Sat Jan 25, 2014 11:38 am UTC

PM 2Ring wrote:
Quizatzhaderac wrote:Lakes are only appropriate for gigatea. The appropriate structure for gigacoffee is a river, with the filter being a hot dam upstream.


Those of us who enjoy Middle Eastern style coffee don't need a dam filter.

:D


Oh, quite right. Nothing like a brutal coffee with more coffee than water.

SuperSteve
Posts: 28
Joined: Sun Mar 09, 2014 10:20 pm UTC

Re: What-if# 0079: Lake Tea

Postby SuperSteve » Sun Mar 09, 2014 10:22 pm UTC

The tea in Boston Harbor would be much more dilute than he calculated. The water is constantly mixing with the ocean, which would dilute the tea beyond the concentration that it would have if the harbor was hermetically sealed.

Also, Boston Harbor is much too salty to use for tea. For tea, you need freshwater, not saltwater.

(The Charles River is not the problem; the salt in the harbor is mainly from the ocean.)

charonme
Posts: 141
Joined: Sun May 18, 2008 11:18 am UTC

Re: What-if# 0079: Lake Tea

Postby charonme » Wed Apr 16, 2014 7:57 am UTC

maybe we could industrially synthesize some of the components of tea in high concentrations for the lake to somewhat resemble a regular tea?

gladiolas
Posts: 76
Joined: Tue Nov 06, 2012 1:41 am UTC

Re: What-if# 0079: Lake Tea

Postby gladiolas » Fri Apr 18, 2014 9:51 pm UTC

How do the British, and everybody else, feel about iced tea?

User avatar
bigglesworth
I feel like Biggles should have a title
Posts: 7461
Joined: Sat Apr 07, 2007 9:29 pm UTC
Location: Airstrip One

Re: What-if# 0079: Lake Tea

Postby bigglesworth » Fri Apr 18, 2014 10:29 pm UTC

It's never warm enough in the UK to consider drinking cold tea. From our experience with tea that has cooled, there's a revulsion towards the idea though I have actually made some proper stuff and it's not bad (I mixed mine with sprite though to drink it).
Generation Y. I don't remember the First Gulf War, but do remember floppy disks.

Muswell
Posts: 45
Joined: Sat Oct 12, 2013 2:33 pm UTC

Re: What-if# 0079: Lake Tea

Postby Muswell » Tue May 27, 2014 8:11 pm UTC

If God wanted the British to drink iced tea, he wouldn't have given us Pimm's.


Return to “What If?”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 3 guests