What-If 0144: "Saliva Pool"

What if there was a forum for discussing these?

Moderators: Moderators General, Prelates, Magistrates

User avatar
Soupspoon
You have done something you shouldn't. Or are about to.
Posts: 2190
Joined: Thu Jan 28, 2016 7:00 pm UTC
Location: 53-1

What-If 0144: "Saliva Pool"

Postby Soupspoon » Wed Feb 03, 2016 4:36 pm UTC

Saliva Pool
How long would it take for a single person to fill up an entire swimming pool with their own saliva?
—Mary Griffin, 9th grade

Image


My most random thought about:
Footnote 3 wrote:I suppose you can make a pool that continues through to the other side of the Earth, but then you run into trouble when you try to follow the instructions in section FR 2.14 about painting lane markings on the bottom.

...is: Does anybody have a Gungun Sub handy?

User avatar
HES
Posts: 4735
Joined: Fri May 10, 2013 7:13 pm UTC
Location: England

Re: What-If 0144: "Saliva Pool"

Postby HES » Wed Feb 03, 2016 5:02 pm UTC

Why is she standing in the pool?
He/Him/His Image

User avatar
Soupspoon
You have done something you shouldn't. Or are about to.
Posts: 2190
Joined: Thu Jan 28, 2016 7:00 pm UTC
Location: 53-1

Re: What-If 0144: "Saliva Pool"

Postby Soupspoon » Wed Feb 03, 2016 5:07 pm UTC

HES wrote:Why is she standing in the pool?

So she doesn't accidentally dribble on the poolside. Because that would be disgusting.

gsilverfish
Posts: 3
Joined: Tue Jul 16, 2013 1:21 pm UTC

Re: What-If 0144: "Saliva Pool"

Postby gsilverfish » Wed Feb 03, 2016 5:13 pm UTC

Displacing liquid in order to get it filled up just slightly faster?

How much longer would this take if evaporation was taken into account?

User avatar
Flumble
Yes Man
Posts: 1878
Joined: Sun Aug 05, 2012 9:35 pm UTC

Re: What-If 0144: "Saliva Pool"

Postby Flumble » Wed Feb 03, 2016 5:28 pm UTC

You may call it an Olympic-size swimming pool, but it definitely needs to be at least 2m deep (preferably >3m) before an Olympic or world championship may take place. This is mostly because of reflecting waves slowing you down.
So keep on drooling for a couple of millenia and we may consider you neighbourhood for the Olympic games.

Oh, right, saliva probably violates some of FINA's requirements regarding visibility and sanitation/acidicity.

gsilverfish wrote:How much longer would this take if evaporation was taken into account?

How much shorter would it take if we take bacteria growth into account?

User avatar
Pfhorrest
Posts: 3620
Joined: Fri Oct 30, 2009 6:11 am UTC
Contact:

Re: What-If 0144: "Saliva Pool"

Postby Pfhorrest » Wed Feb 03, 2016 6:23 pm UTC

Flumble wrote:
gsilverfish wrote:How much longer would this take if evaporation was taken into account?

How much shorter would it take if we take bacteria growth into account?

Yeah, that's where I thought this was going to go, and I was disappointed it didn't. While you're standing there for 8ish Ka drooling into the pool... and I guess we'll just let you be immortal, and not have any other bodily functions that would make this question even grosser... what else would happen to impede or enhance the accumulation of saliva in the pool? I assume we don't want the pool just filling with rainwater, or getting covered in glaciers, so we'll have to cover it and pick the right location, and then account for weather and climate and biology and so on over those thousands of years.
Forrest Cameranesi, Geek of All Trades
"I am Sam. Sam I am. I do not like trolls, flames, or spam."
The Codex Quaerendae (my philosophy) - The Chronicles of Quelouva (my fiction)

User avatar
sevenperforce
Posts: 658
Joined: Wed Feb 04, 2015 8:01 am UTC

Re: What-If 0144: "Saliva Pool"

Postby sevenperforce » Wed Feb 03, 2016 6:33 pm UTC

I was hoping he'd go through a "if we relax the 'single person' requirement, then what logistics are we looking at?" bit.

User avatar
Soupspoon
You have done something you shouldn't. Or are about to.
Posts: 2190
Joined: Thu Jan 28, 2016 7:00 pm UTC
Location: 53-1

Re: What-If 0144: "Saliva Pool"

Postby Soupspoon » Wed Feb 03, 2016 6:35 pm UTC

sevenperforce wrote:I was hoping he'd go through a "if we relax the 'single person' requirement, then what logistics are we looking at?" bit.

Just eight thousand or so of your closest friends spitting into the pool for a calendar year?

(I'm sure there's a 4chan/insert-similar joke in there somewhere.)

wumpus
Posts: 474
Joined: Thu Feb 21, 2008 12:16 am UTC

Re: What-If 0144: "Saliva Pool"

Postby wumpus » Thu Feb 04, 2016 5:19 am UTC

Honestly, I was expecting a squirrel picture.

User avatar
Neil_Boekend
Posts: 3215
Joined: Fri Mar 01, 2013 6:35 am UTC
Location: Yes.

Re: What-If 0144: "Saliva Pool"

Postby Neil_Boekend » Thu Feb 04, 2016 8:20 am UTC

You'd also have to remove evaporation.
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

patzer's signature wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:I'm being quoted too much!

he/him/his

User avatar
cellocgw
Posts: 1716
Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2008 7:40 pm UTC

Re: What-If 0144: "Saliva Pool"

Postby cellocgw » Thu Feb 04, 2016 2:31 pm UTC

"eeewwwwwww GROSS" just begins to cover it. The concept is so yucky that even today, maybe 40 yrs after reading a book which includes a supporting character who saves his spit in a jar, I'm grossed out.
https://app.box.com/witthoftresume
Former OTTer
Vote cellocgw for President 2020. #ScienceintheWhiteHouse http://cellocgw.wordpress.com
"The Planck length is 3.81779e-33 picas." -- keithl
" Earth weighs almost exactly π milliJupiters" -- what-if #146, note 7

User avatar
yakkoTDI
Posts: 33
Joined: Fri Jul 10, 2015 4:02 pm UTC

Re: What-If 0144: "Saliva Pool"

Postby yakkoTDI » Thu Feb 04, 2016 4:19 pm UTC

sevenperforce wrote:I was hoping he'd go through a "if we relax the 'single person' requirement, then what logistics are we looking at?" bit.


You mean 'What if we tried more power?'

rudeeric
Posts: 1
Joined: Fri Feb 05, 2016 2:11 am UTC

Re: What-If 0144: "Saliva Pool"

Postby rudeeric » Fri Feb 05, 2016 3:35 am UTC

This reminded me of a joke I remember hearing when I was young (around 1972--yes, I'm old!):

"How do they fill the swimming pools for the Olympics?"

"Mark Spitz."

sallabra
Posts: 1
Joined: Fri Feb 05, 2016 1:13 pm UTC

Re: What-If 0144: "Saliva Pool"

Postby sallabra » Fri Feb 05, 2016 1:16 pm UTC

gsilverfish wrote:Displacing liquid in order to get it filled up just slightly faster?

How much longer would this take if evaporation was taken into account?


I just created an account just for posting this exact comment. And then I read yours. Damn ;)

carrion pigeons
Posts: 2
Joined: Sat Aug 16, 2014 10:29 pm UTC

Re: What-If 0144: "Saliva Pool"

Postby carrion pigeons » Sat Feb 06, 2016 12:49 am UTC

I was interested in learning what the consequences of standing in digestive juices for millenia would be.

rmsgrey
Posts: 3010
Joined: Wed Nov 16, 2011 6:35 pm UTC

Re: What-If 0144: "Saliva Pool"

Postby rmsgrey » Sat Feb 06, 2016 4:13 am UTC

carrion pigeons wrote:I was interested in learning what the consequences of standing in digestive juices for millenia would be.


Not all digestive juices are created equal - stomach acids would get a much clearer result; saliva would probably just make you prune up...

User avatar
musashi1600
Posts: 117
Joined: Thu Sep 25, 2008 5:08 am UTC
Location: Hawaii

Re: What-If 0144: "Saliva Pool"

Postby musashi1600 » Mon Feb 08, 2016 4:23 am UTC

It would take a long time, sure. But it would all be worth it, because at the end of it all, you'd have an Olympic-size swimming pool full of saliva. And isn't that, deep down, all any of us really want?


Somebody has been reading Mysterious Girlfriend X.
It's Bicycle Repair Man!

Zak3056
Posts: 2
Joined: Mon Feb 08, 2016 2:22 pm UTC

Re: What-If 0144: "Saliva Pool"

Postby Zak3056 » Mon Feb 08, 2016 2:34 pm UTC

Disappointed in this one... one obviously unexplored scenario was using 17,000 five years olds and doing it in a year, or using all the five year olds in, say, California and doing it in a day

gbleck
Posts: 2
Joined: Thu Feb 11, 2016 5:55 pm UTC

Re: What-If 0144: "Saliva Pool"

Postby gbleck » Thu Feb 11, 2016 7:37 pm UTC

Interesting...

Study on Surface Tension and Evaporation Rate of Human Saliva, Saline, and Water Droplets
by Zhang, Tian, M.S., WEST VIRGINIA UNIVERSITY, 2011

Someone has done this research. Could be useful for CPAP designs maybe?


Return to “What If?”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 5 guests