The Second Scribe and the fifth cleric were conversing in the anteroom.
"Mebbe just stopped in for a pint", he said, "just like during his blitz.".
"I hope not - that was a very long pint back then", replied the Second Scribe. "I don't know if there's another like it."
Being a fan of very long pints himself, the fifth cleric decided that just maybe he might want to find out himself. It would however require a Holy Quest, and such journeys were fraught with danger, peril, hazard, and risk. Even thinking about the green mindslugs gave him the willies, and he didn't know if he could get past the cookie clicker unscathed. No, he'll get his pints the easy way - let somebody else quest, and he'll join in the celebration afterwards. But first, the guest of honor would have to show up!
Anticipation was high, and as the crowd gathered just outside the Cathedral, the din of a sea of Timewaiters waiting for it was becoming so loud that conversation was becoming difficult. This was by far the longest blitz ever to be celebrated, meriting of course the most seaish celebration ever conceived. Although it seemed like forever, it wasn't long before macraw himself approached.
"Where have you been?" asked the second scribe anxiously.
"Just giving you a chance to wait for it", replied macraw with a wink. "Even airplanes have to taxi sometimes."
The second scribe gingerly helped him on with his airplane hat. It always looked as if it was going to fall off, but that was part of the fashion. Nonetheless, it would not do to have a wardrobe malfunction in the middle of the ceremony, especially with a hat. On a cat. She carefully and lovingly ensured that all would go well, jostling the hat this way and that until she was certain that it would neither come off nor take off by itself.
With a whoosh the door to the anteroom opened and in strode The Pope and First Cleric, resplendent in their ceremonial robes, and there was something about the way First Cleric carried himself that spoke of newly gained enlightenment.
Taken by surprise, the second scribe exclaimed, "You're not supposed to be here!"
"...which is precisely why I must be here", replied The Pope, who beamed at macraw83 and said "I knew you'd make it!".
"To be honest, sometimes I didn't", admitted macraw. "The journey just kept getting longer and longer, and I must confess to you that I sometimes lost heart."
First Cleric chimed in, "We all do sometimes. We think it's a great failure at the time, but it isn't. What matters is that you kept going. And you kept going even if you had to wait for it while you were waiting for it. So, now you are here, not because you didn't lose heart, but because you allowed yourself to regain it."
These words took a moment to register, but when they did, it took another moment to register that it was First Cleric that had said them. These were words unlike any that he had ever said, and everyone was awestruck. The Pope broke the silence by observing that it was too bad fifth cleric didn't hear that firsthand, because he'd never believe it.
"Aye, but I did", came a voice from behind. "I still canna believe it!"
"Come, we must be off", said The Pope to First Cleric, "There is much Waiting to do", and with that, they exited before First Cleric could saying anything else. The second scribe gave macraw a seaish hug, and then departed herself to prepare for the ceremony that was about to occur. This left macraw83 alone with the fifth cleric, who wondered aloud about just how seaish those pints were, and where he could get some.
For a moment their laughter drowned out the noise of the crowd outside.
The heralds gathered just outside the doors of the Cathedral, and on cue sounded the clarion call. This was the first time since many could remember that all the heralds were all playing together, and the sound was awesome; after the initial fanfare, each of the heralds wove the melody in and out of all of the other heralds in forty-seven part counterpoint while the Crystal Organ began to spin up. Just as the music seemed to reach its climax, the Crystal Organ took the theme and the Great Doors were thrown open for the procession of the Clerics, Scribes, and BlitzGirls. Row by row they emerged from the Cathedral under the shimmering of the Crystal Organ's whirly parts, and as they emerged, the choir of Raft People added thier voices to the growing symphony of sound. They were familiar words in a foreign tongue, whose meaning was perhaps best summarized as "I am greatly blessed to be among you".
As soon as the clerics reached their seats, they began to sing along with the Raft People, and when the rows of scribes arrived, they did the same in glorious counterpoint. The music came to a thunderous close just as the last of the BlitzGirls arrived at their place on the dais, and The Pope arose. Facing the crowd, even The Pope was awed. This was no ordinary seaish celebration - the horizon itself was not far enough away to contain the mass of Timewaiters that had come to honor macraw83's awesomeful accomplishment.
In a voice that echoed throughout the valley and carried far beyond the horizon, The Pope spake:
"Of all the sacraments pertaining to the One True Thread, the Quest is the highest. It is also the most perilous, fraught with dangers that reside in the past that would be traversed, other hazards that lie in a future that has not yet happened, and the risk that a future menace may find itself transported into the past, to further jeopardize the unsuspecting Quester. Many of these hazards were unknown at the beginning Of Time when the first Blitzgirl, our own esteemed Blitzgirl The First, pioneered her way through the One True Thread.
We are here to celebrate the Glorious Arrival into the Present of macraw83, who having also felt a Great Void, a Void that can only be filled by drinking from the One True Thread, ventured out to drink from the River of Time. Facing dangers known and unknown on this difficult journey, he found the snare now known as the Long Pint, and summoning strength he did not know he had, conquered it to emerge in Glory. I bid you macraw83, come forward, arise, and kneel."
The second scribe beamed with joy as a cat, upside down in an airplane that was flying upside down, swooped in and touched down on his knees gently in front of The Pope.
The Pope raised his hands above macraw's head and continued, "macraw83, in honor of your Zanclean Quest of drinking from the One True Thread and by the power vested in me as Pope of the Order of the Holy Contradiction, do I hereby consecrate you and bestow upon thee the title of BlitzGirl the Next, that it be known for all time and for all of Time that you have truly and properly Waited For It. Furthermore do I consecrate and bless the Gospel of macraw83, a True and Holy Record of your Quest, to be counted among the Holy Books, alongside the Gospel of BlitzGirl, and all the other gospels, that it provide inspiration to all who follow, and indeed, to all Timewaiters, for all time, for all of Time, and for all the Time After Time. Smopu hvala nuvi dict amuah!"
There was a great cheer arising from the congregation, and the heralds sounded the opening fanfare of the Smopu Hvala, the Raft People's Hymn of Honor. The Pope raised his hands to quell the crowd, but they would not be quelled so easily. Even The Pope would have to wait for it. When the crowd finally calmed down, The Pope once again spoke:
"We are greatly blessed not only by BlitzGirls, but also by a seaish number of other people, quiet and patient Timewaiters who, in the background, help make all you see possible. Look around you at the Great Cathedral, the wingish Grotto, the grounds that seem to all but tend themselves. All of this would not be possible without the dedicated work that happens backstage. Today we honor waveney, whose secret (and not so secret) codes have immeasurably helped integrate the designs of our own Hot Diggety with the skills of the Raft People, making it possible to have infinite castles without infinite mustard, and ensuring that we don't have our castles going into silly places. Unless that's what we want. All this he has done using just numbers, and letters, and symbols, and... things. Things beyond the comprehension of Mortal Man.
I bid thee, waveney, come forth, arise, and kneel!"
Imagine now for yourself the sight of a huge hairy orangumolp sitting in the crowd caught completely by surprise, looking around and then incredulously mouthing the word "moi?", an utterance rumored to come from Old French whose unmistakable meaning seems to have been preserved for millennia.
"Yes, waveney, you", confirmed The Pope. "You do not go unnoticed. Come forth, arise, and kneel!"
Somewhat reluctantly at first he arose from the crowd and moved, and then with greater and greater excitement started leaping over people, taking advantage of a few fortuitously placed vines to swing himself up onto the stage. As he crouched before The Pope, the pontiff placed his hands above waveney, saying:
"As Pope of the Order of the Holy Contradiction, in recognition of the steakish contributions you have made to the Incantations that Control the Magic, do I hereby Bless and Consecrate you and bestow upon thee the title of Big Banana of Code, that it be known for all time, and for all of Time, that through your mysterious scriptures you have greatly enhanced the treeish mechanisms of the One True Thread while we all Waited For It."
Once again the heralds sound the fanfare of the Smopu Hvala and the crowd erupted in cheering that can be heard far beyond the horizon. Both waveney and macraw83 were carried off to the feasting and dancing and molpyberry wine that has become an integral part of these sacraments. The Pope, First Cleric, and the second scribe waited on the dais for a moment as the crowd disperses.
"That was beautiful.", said the second scribe to The Pope. "I've been dreaming of this for over a yip."
"That is what the First Commandment is all about", replied The Pope. "Go join macraw in his glory. I'll come in a moment."
The second scribe wasted no time, leaving The Pope alone with First Cleric.
"I believe you had some enlightenment?", asked The Pope.
First Cleric thought as hard as he could. Yes, there was enlightenment... seaish enlightenment, even. It was in there... he just couldn't quite reach into his mind and pull it out. The Pope was patient however, and the First Commandment was an integral part of his being. Still, First Cleric struggled to make sense of the sense he had made when he had made sense. Finally, with a burst of mental power, he managed to come up with something. Maybe it would be enough.
Struggling with all his might, he stammered "It's a hotdog!"