1323: "Protocol"

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poxic
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1323: "Protocol"

Postby poxic » Wed Jan 29, 2014 5:30 am UTC

Image

Title text: "Changing the names would be easier, but if you're not comfortable lying, try only making friends with people named Alice, Bob, Carol, etc."

I actually have friends named Bob and Carol, but they're looking for another couple named Ted and Alice.
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Flumble
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Re: 1323: "Protocol"

Postby Flumble » Wed Jan 29, 2014 5:53 am UTC

"So, where's the punchline?"

Or is it just me who's expecting a joke* when someone starts talking about an Alice-and-Bob scenario?


*perhaps an awful pun about Eve crypling Alice and Bob after finding out their secrets or something along those lines.

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Re: 1323: "Protocol"

Postby Jamaican Castle » Wed Jan 29, 2014 5:56 am UTC

Another installment in the "Randall gets kicked out of cryptography conferences"* plot line?

*well, and any other conference he can find

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Re: 1323: "Protocol"

Postby Wooloomooloo » Wed Jan 29, 2014 5:58 am UTC

"...try only making friends with people named Alice, Bob, Carol, etc." - but that's a recipe for disaster! I mean, what you gonna do if Eve sends the message to Alice, and Bob overhears it? You'll be running for your life from a lynch mob with pitchforks if you ever try to tell that story...!

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Re: 1323: "Protocol"

Postby Nathan » Wed Jan 29, 2014 6:37 am UTC

I think the funny here is that he's telling random boring anecdotes about real people, but the computer scientist is listening only because of the names.

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Re: 1323: "Protocol"

Postby ThemePark » Wed Jan 29, 2014 6:44 am UTC

Flumble wrote:"So, where's the punchline?"

Or is it just me who's expecting a joke* when someone starts talking about an Alice-and-Bob scenario?


*perhaps an awful pun about Eve crypling Alice and Bob after finding out their secrets or something along those lines.

The joke is that a computer scientist will be intrigued by any story you tell him, as long as you make it sound like a cryptography scenario, by including those three names in the story.
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Re: 1323: "Protocol"

Postby Jiffy » Wed Jan 29, 2014 6:49 am UTC

ThemePark wrote:
Flumble wrote:"So, where's the punchline?"

Or is it just me who's expecting a joke* when someone starts talking about an Alice-and-Bob scenario?


*perhaps an awful pun about Eve crypling Alice and Bob after finding out their secrets or something along those lines.

The joke is that a computer scientist will be intrigued by any story you tell him, as long as you make it sound like a cryptography scenario, by including those three names in the story.


Finally somebody who gets it.
Pretty funny, in my opinion.

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Re: 1323: "Protocol"

Postby xtifr » Wed Jan 29, 2014 7:09 am UTC

I have to admit, this would work on me.
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Flumble
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Re: 1323: "Protocol"

Postby Flumble » Wed Jan 29, 2014 7:24 am UTC

ThemePark wrote:The joke is that a computer scientist will be intrigued by any story you tell him, as long as you make it sound like a cryptography scenario, by including those three names in the story.

Yes, I know.
...and thanks to you I'm now aware that the joke might not be obvious to anyone and you're not to blame for assuming I missed out on it. :P

To clarify my previous post (in case that was misinterpreted as well): I never encountered (serious) cryptographic small talk, so I'd assume any story about Alice and Bob is a set-up for a joke and therefore you'll have my undivided attention.
Last edited by Flumble on Wed Jan 29, 2014 8:35 am UTC, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: 1323: "Protocol"

Postby Ideas sleep furiously. » Wed Jan 29, 2014 8:09 am UTC

Turns out you can also catch philosophers in the same trap.
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Re: 1323: "Protocol"

Postby DBPZ » Wed Jan 29, 2014 9:01 am UTC

DNS poisoning is so easy when Eve can actually see the message,

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Re: 1323: "Protocol"

Postby casanunda » Wed Jan 29, 2014 9:14 am UTC

well who said that the story doesn't continue with "Alice and Eve make out."

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Re: 1323: "Protocol"

Postby super_aardvark » Wed Jan 29, 2014 9:56 am UTC

casanunda wrote:well who said that the story doesn't continue with "Alice and Eve make out."


That's the most hilarious part, though. In my mind, the story *does* continue that way, and the computer scientist is sitting there trying to figure out what computer-world scenario is being represented by the making out, and becoming very confused.

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Re: 1323: "Protocol"

Postby Locoluis » Wed Jan 29, 2014 10:54 am UTC

People always assume that Alice and Bob are the good kids, but...
what if Eve is Bob's wife? :shock:
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Re: 1323: "Protocol"

Postby orthogon » Wed Jan 29, 2014 11:26 am UTC

Locoluis wrote:People always assume that Alice and Bob are the good kids, but...
what if Eve is Bob's wife? :shock:

I don't know if they were actually married, but there is Eve's own testimony to suggest that she and Bob had something going before Alice came along.
xtifr wrote:... and orthogon merely sounds undecided.

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Re: 1323: "Protocol"

Postby Yubtzock » Wed Jan 29, 2014 11:43 am UTC

Wooloomooloo wrote:"...try only making friends with people named Alice, Bob, Carol, etc." - but that's a recipe for disaster! I mean, what you gonna do if Eve sends the message to Alice, and Bob overhears it? You'll be running for your life from a lynch mob with pitchforks if you ever try to tell that story...!


Not really. You need to preface the story with "In this one, we have a situation with initially unknown adversary (-ies)" and all bets are off*. Everyone will be too busy figuring out who's to fault instead. I can't help but wonder how many stories one could tell and how long it would take before people would catch up.

*) - Hey! In the end, it can turn out YOU were the bad guy.


And one lecturer at the uni used to do that all the time to mock (or to follow? I don't remember) the Basic Human Decency of maintaining some sort of diversity of actors in hypothetical scenarios. It got us to chuckle in the beginning. Then we had to go trough our notes before the exams...

edit: Wordfilters? Is the madness upon us? I'm tempted to leave that one in. Like literally rewrite it to that. :D

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Re: 1323: "Protocol"

Postby laurint » Wed Jan 29, 2014 11:51 am UTC

For all the noobs like me: Wikipedia has an article called "Alice and Bob" that will tell the punchline, or the point, in this comic. It seems that you have to get education in English to get it.

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Re: 1323: "Protocol"

Postby orthogon » Wed Jan 29, 2014 12:16 pm UTC

Yubtzock wrote:And one lecturer at the uni used to do that all the time to mock (or to follow? I don't remember) the AAAHHHH THUMPY WOOBLE HARRRRRPINK!! of maintaining some sort of diversity of actors in hypothetical scenarios. It got us to chuckle in the beginning. Then we had to go trough our notes before the exams...

edit: Wordfilters? Is the madness upon us? I'm tempted to leave that one in. Like literally rewrite it to that. :D

I take it you were referring to gerbil swallowing. Anyway, Eve was African, as I understand it.
xtifr wrote:... and orthogon merely sounds undecided.

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Re: 1323: "Protocol"

Postby cellocgw » Wed Jan 29, 2014 12:30 pm UTC

poxic wrote:
I actually have friends named Bob and Carol, but they're looking for another couple named Ted and Alice.


Us old-timers remember when Da Brunz had a defense lineup of Bob and Carol and Ted an - Dallas. You could look it up.

Also: how appropriate to have a comic w/ heavy sexual innuendo on Hump Day
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Re: 1323: "Protocol"

Postby casanunda » Wed Jan 29, 2014 12:32 pm UTC

super_aardvark wrote:
casanunda wrote:well who said that the story doesn't continue with "Alice and Eve make out."


That's the most hilarious part, though. In my mind, the story *does* continue that way, and the computer scientist is sitting there trying to figure out what computer-world scenario is being represented by the making out, and becoming very confused.


This would lead to some interesting entanglement as well.

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Re: 1323: "Protocol"

Postby Bossi » Wed Jan 29, 2014 1:03 pm UTC

Having just read this:
http://www.scientificamerican.com/artic ... hysicists/

I was growing increasingly concerned for Alice's well-being as the short story went on.

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Re: 1323: "Protocol"

Postby Klear » Wed Jan 29, 2014 1:42 pm UTC

cellocgw wrote:Also: how appropriate to have a comic w/ heavy sexual innuendo on Hump Day


Heavy sexual innuendo? Two girls meet by chance?

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Re: 1323: "Protocol"

Postby Archgeek » Wed Jan 29, 2014 1:45 pm UTC

I was expecting Mallory to show up and steal everyone's credit cards via session hijacking.
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Re: 1323: "Protocol"

Postby Draco18s » Wed Jan 29, 2014 3:30 pm UTC

super_aardvark wrote:the computer scientist is sitting there trying to figure out what computer-world scenario is being represented by the making out, and becoming very confused.


Hashing.

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Re: 1323: "Protocol"

Postby airdrik » Wed Jan 29, 2014 3:48 pm UTC

Bossi wrote:Having just read this:
http://www.scientificamerican.com/artic ... hysicists/

I was growing increasingly concerned for Alice's well-being as the short story went on.


On the one hand, Alice wouldn't have fallen in if Eve hadn't pushed her. On the other hand, Eve wouldn't have pushed Alice if Alice hadn't stolen Bob from her.
We really need to keep those two girls away from each other (and Bob should probably find himself someone new).

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Re: 1323: "Protocol"

Postby Bounty » Wed Jan 29, 2014 4:30 pm UTC

Klear wrote:
cellocgw wrote:Also: how appropriate to have a comic w/ heavy sexual innuendo on Hump Day


Heavy sexual innuendo? Two girls meet by chance?


We're talkinga bout computer scientists. Two girls in the same place at the same time? When does that ever happen to them?

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Re: 1323: "Protocol"

Postby ThemePark » Wed Jan 29, 2014 4:42 pm UTC

Bounty wrote:
Klear wrote:
cellocgw wrote:Also: how appropriate to have a comic w/ heavy sexual innuendo on Hump Day


Heavy sexual innuendo? Two girls meet by chance?


We're talkinga bout computer scientists. Two girls in the same place at the same time? When does that ever happen to them?

What are these "girls" that you talk about?
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Re: 1323: "Protocol"

Postby ps.02 » Wed Jan 29, 2014 5:05 pm UTC

casanunda wrote:well who said that the story doesn't continue with "Alice and Eve make out."

I guess I never thought about the Bechdel Test having such an obvious loophole. Did the rest of the Internets know about this loophole all along? Am I the last to get it?

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Re: 1323: "Protocol"

Postby Flumble » Wed Jan 29, 2014 5:16 pm UTC

ThemePark wrote:
Bounty wrote:
Klear wrote:
Heavy sexual innuendo? Two girls meet by chance?


We're talkinga bout computer scientists. Two girls in the same place at the same time? When does that ever happen to them?

What are these "girls" that you talk about?

I think he's referring to femmions. There can't be two of them in the same space (except when they oppose eachother; then they bond intimately).

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Re: 1323: "Protocol"

Postby PinkShinyRose » Wed Jan 29, 2014 7:32 pm UTC

Locoluis wrote:People always assume that Alice and Bob are the good kids, but...
what if Eve is Bob's wife? :shock:

I thought the same thing. Well, not necessarily that they were married, but at least in a relationship, I thought: Eve is going to find out Bob is cheating on her with Alice.
orthogon wrote:I take it you were referring to gerbil swallowing. Anyway, Eve was African, as I understand it.

These Eves are definitely from Fort Meade, Maryland, United States.

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Re: 1323: "Protocol"

Postby Kit. » Wed Jan 29, 2014 9:19 pm UTC

poxic wrote:Alice, Bob, Carol, etc.

I know what Randall did here, but still... is it Dilbert for D?

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Re: 1323: "Protocol"

Postby brenok » Thu Jan 30, 2014 1:06 am UTC

Kit. wrote:
poxic wrote:Alice, Bob, Carol, etc.

I know what Randall did here, but still... is it Dilbert for D?

Wikipedia would say Dan or Dave.

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Re: 1323: "Protocol"

Postby Harry Voyager » Thu Jan 30, 2014 5:02 am UTC

Yubtzock wrote:
Wooloomooloo wrote:"...try only making friends with people named Alice, Bob, Carol, etc." - but that's a recipe for disaster! I mean, what you gonna do if Eve sends the message to Alice, and Bob overhears it? You'll be running for your life from a lynch mob with pitchforks if you ever try to tell that story...!


Not really. You need to preface the story with "In this one, we have a situation with initially unknown adversary (-ies)" and all bets are off*. Everyone will be too busy figuring out who's to fault instead. I can't help but wonder how many stories one could tell and how long it would take before people would catch up.

*) - Hey! In the end, it can turn out YOU were the bad guy.


And one lecturer at the uni used to do that all the time to mock (or to follow? I don't remember) the AAAHHHH THUMPY WOOBLE HARRRRRPINK!! of maintaining some sort of diversity of actors in hypothetical scenarios. It got us to chuckle in the beginning. Then we had to go trough our notes before the exams...

edit: Wordfilters? Is the madness upon us? I'm tempted to leave that one in. Like literally rewrite it to that. :D


Kind of like that one tutorial I ended up reading on how to make .bat files, where the tutorial example slowly evolved into a stealth keylogger...

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Re: 1323: "Protocol"

Postby VeloCityGirl » Thu Jan 30, 2014 3:27 pm UTC

laurint wrote:For all the noobs like me: Wikipedia has an article called "Alice and Bob" that will tell the punchline, or the point, in this comic. It seems that you have to get education in English to get it.


Thanks! I thought there was some Ted and Carol reference as the thread-starter mentioned.
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Re: 1323: "Protocol"

Postby orthogon » Thu Jan 30, 2014 4:02 pm UTC

laurint wrote:For all the noobs like me: Wikipedia has an article called "Alice and Bob" that will tell the punchline, or the point, in this comic. It seems that you have to get education in English to get it.

Wait, are you saying that the cryptographic actors have different names in other languages/countries? The Wikipedia pages in languages whose scripts I can read seem to use "Alice and Bob" or a close approximation, but I would have loved looking through all the Anastasias and Bunjis.
xtifr wrote:... and orthogon merely sounds undecided.

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Re: 1323: "Protocol"

Postby thevicente » Thu Jan 30, 2014 5:15 pm UTC

Its like nerd-sniping, but with crypto-guys.

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Re: 1323: "Protocol"

Postby Crissa » Thu Jan 30, 2014 5:54 pm UTC

All the names are basically alphabetical, too, which makes encoding so much easier.

-Crissa

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Re: 1323: "Protocol"

Postby PinkShinyRose » Thu Jan 30, 2014 7:06 pm UTC

orthogon wrote:
laurint wrote:For all the noobs like me: Wikipedia has an article called "Alice and Bob" that will tell the punchline, or the point, in this comic. It seems that you have to get education in English to get it.

Wait, are you saying that the cryptographic actors have different names in other languages/countries? The Wikipedia pages in languages whose scripts I can read seem to use "Alice and Bob" or a close approximation, but I would have loved looking through all the Anastasias and Bunjis.

The Greek ones are actually in Roman characters. Somehow I don't expect this to increase understanding...

I prefer Alisa over Alice, Alicja, Ailisi and Arisu by the way and Bobu over Bob and Baoba (although the latter is also nice).


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