1391: "Darkness"

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1391: "Darkness"

Postby Envelope Generator » Mon Jul 07, 2014 4:11 am UTC

Image

Alt: This was actually wish #406. Wish #2 was for him to lose the ability to remember that each new wish wasn't my first.

Something bizarre must be going on because here a sun just APPEARED.
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Re: 1391: "Darkness"

Postby Cristina » Mon Jul 07, 2014 4:21 am UTC

Wish #2 was for him to lose the ability to remember that each new wish wasn't my first


This is the first time I've heard this workaround for getting more than 3 wishes. I don't really see any flaw apart from if there were some rule that the genie can't be affected by wishes.

Also I've heard reports that my sky might go completely black in a few hours and I'm a bit scared.
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Re: 1391: "Darkness"

Postby StClair » Mon Jul 07, 2014 4:26 am UTC

... huh. Okay, I guess I've read too many monkey-paw type stories, as my first take on the strip wasn't just that the wisher had played a confusing but ultimately harmless prank, but that they had, by an ill-considered wish, actually managed to inadvertently wish the sun away.

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Re: 1391: "Darkness"

Postby chridd » Mon Jul 07, 2014 4:49 am UTC

Cristina wrote:This is the first time I've heard this workaround for getting more than 3 wishes. I don't really see any flaw apart from if there were some rule that the genie can't be affected by wishes.
It would only work if the three-wish restriction is only enforced by the genie. If, for instance, the restriction is because the genie only has enough magical power for three wishes, or if something in the magic changes based on the number of wishes, then it wouldn't work. Also, if there's a "no wishing for more wishes" restriction, it might also prevent wishes that would effectively give more wishes, not just direct wishes for more wishes.

Or, if the genie is a wish-corrupting genie, ze might forget that it's not the first wish but change something else to prevent the wisher from getting extra wishes.
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Re: 1391: "Darkness"

Postby eidako » Mon Jul 07, 2014 4:52 am UTC

Cristina wrote:I don't really see any flaw apart from if there were some rule that the genie can't be affected by wishes.

Or the genie has a limited mana pool that is only replenished when he receives a new master, and regardless of his willingness to grant wishes he only has enough power for three.

edit: ninja'd

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Re: 1391: "Darkness"

Postby Klear » Mon Jul 07, 2014 5:29 am UTC

chridd wrote:
Cristina wrote:This is the first time I've heard this workaround for getting more than 3 wishes. I don't really see any flaw apart from if there were some rule that the genie can't be affected by wishes.
It would only work if the three-wish restriction is only enforced by the genie.


Actually, if it is the genie who's enforcing the rule, he won't grant you that wish. He isn't stupid, you know.

Anyway, this is a great workaround:

Image

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Re: 1391: "Darkness"

Postby Dravidosaurus » Mon Jul 07, 2014 6:33 am UTC

But it doesn't make sense, does it?
If the genie forgets that each wish isn't his first, it would be utterly baffled by the wisher leading with "Genie, for my last wish...". Unless after 405 wishes he wanted to come clean and end the wishes.

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Re: 1391: "Darkness"

Postby eviloatmeal » Mon Jul 07, 2014 6:43 am UTC

"Genie, I wish for all my wishes to come true."

After that, you don't need the genie or his quota.

"I wish all my wishes would come true within seconds" so you don't have to add "right now" to the end of every wish.

Then you can start wishing for some interesting stuff. "I wish the discovery of the Higgs boson DID create a small black hole that tried to eat part of Switzerland and that everyone involved would be OK." "I wish all computers became trinary and that they weren't always that way." "I wish all straws had a third hole in them." "I wish I could have a bottomless pool due to suction and that it were large enough to swim in."
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Re: 1391: "Darkness"

Postby McBee » Mon Jul 07, 2014 7:36 am UTC

I'll be the black sheep here and comment on the topic of the actual comic panel....

Here, beat by the Onion an age or so ago...

http://www.theonion.com/articles/rotati ... n-co,1905/

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Re: 1391: "Darkness"

Postby orthogon » Mon Jul 07, 2014 8:11 am UTC

eviloatmeal wrote:"I wish all computers became trinary and that they weren't always that way."

So that the most important characteristic of a Internet connection would be how many tits per second it can deliver?
Spoiler:
... insert punchline here ...
xtifr wrote:... and orthogon merely sounds undecided.

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Re: 1391: "Darkness"

Postby JimsMaher » Mon Jul 07, 2014 8:16 am UTC

Nightfall, because that's what happens ... nevermind the journalists or zealots ... How would you react?

edit: read the preamble to the original short story for provenance of forgetting about nighttime concept.
Last edited by JimsMaher on Mon Jul 07, 2014 8:30 am UTC, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: 1391: "Darkness"

Postby jalohones » Mon Jul 07, 2014 8:21 am UTC

McBee wrote:Here, beat by the Onion an age or so ago...


Simpsons already did it?

In about 1989 the front cover of Australian Picture - a magazine which existed purely so that it could have a page 3 - carried the headline "We Explain Big Yellow Thing In Sky".

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Re: 1391: "Darkness"

Postby Andromeda321 » Mon Jul 07, 2014 9:12 am UTC

Hah- I love this one because confession time, I often when watching the sun set will have my inner narrator say "now the sun has set. When it rises, it will do so on a very different world."

I think it's some sort of ominous thing from Asimov's Nightfall or some other science fiction work.

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Re: 1391: "Darkness"

Postby HES » Mon Jul 07, 2014 9:47 am UTC

Shouldn't it be called "1391: ~*~DaRkNeSs~*~"?
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Re: 1391: "Darkness"

Postby sotanaht » Mon Jul 07, 2014 10:33 am UTC

eviloatmeal wrote:"Genie, I wish for all my wishes to come true."

After that, you don't need the genie or his quota.

"I wish all my wishes would come true within seconds" so you don't have to add "right now" to the end of every wish.

Then you can start wishing for some interesting stuff. "I wish the discovery of the Higgs boson DID create a small black hole that tried to eat part of Switzerland and that everyone involved would be OK." "I wish all computers became trinary and that they weren't always that way." "I wish all straws had a third hole in them." "I wish I could have a bottomless pool due to suction and that it were large enough to swim in."


How long would it take for you to accidentally wish for something you regret, seconds too late? Also, "within seconds" needs to be something like "within 3 seconds", because even 10^1000 seconds still counts as "within seconds"

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Re: 1391: "Darkness"

Postby taemyr » Mon Jul 07, 2014 11:04 am UTC

sotanaht wrote:How long would it take for you to accidentally wish for something you regret, seconds too late?


As long as I can regret it, it should not be that much of a problem. I am more worried about the wishes that, seconds to late, I am unable to regret.

Also what constitutes a wish in this context. While not necesarily fatal having to undo unconscious wishes whenever they pop up could be a bit of a chore. If wishes needs to be uttered then wishes that I regret and that leaves me unable to utter further wishes would be problematic.

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Re: 1391: "Darkness"

Postby orthogon » Mon Jul 07, 2014 11:34 am UTC

Getting reports that the Darkness has spread as far west as Texas

Frankly, I'm surprised that it's taken so long for Lowestoft's finest falsetto-voiced glam rockers to get noticed in the US, but well done guys.
xtifr wrote:... and orthogon merely sounds undecided.

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Re: 1391: "Darkness"

Postby kharnynb » Mon Jul 07, 2014 11:40 am UTC

It's not going to be dark here for MONTHS, the sky is falling...... :mrgreen:

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Re: 1391: "Darkness"

Postby cellocgw » Mon Jul 07, 2014 11:49 am UTC

Alternative reaction:

I read this one as only the newscasters forgot about day/night. All us 'normals' were still aware of the cycle, and are once again dumbfounded at the idiocracitic level of TV news programs. (I think I just made up a word there...)
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Re: 1391: "Darkness"

Postby peregrine_crow » Mon Jul 07, 2014 11:50 am UTC

eviloatmeal wrote:"Genie, I wish for all my wishes to come true."

After that, you don't need the genie or his quota.

"I wish all my wishes would come true within seconds" so you don't have to add "right now" to the end of every wish.

You can't beat evil literal genies that are deliberately interpreting your wishes in the worst possible way, so you have to assume that the genie is at least interpreting your wish in the way you intended it. That doesn't mean you don't have to be careful what you wish for, of course, but adding a timeframe to a wish given that it is clear that you want it to be done as soon as possible is pointless (if the genie wants to screw you over, he can do that anyway). So given that: *cracks knuckles*

"Genie, I wish that for the next hour I am omnipotent1, omniscient2, posses unlimited cognitive computing power and am capable of granting myself any number of wishes without any possible limitations that you might be under. If this wish would otherwise alter my sense of morality or sense of self3 it instead does not."

1: Defined as being capable of effecting any change in the allocation of mass/energy and capable of rewriting the laws of reality at will.
2: Defined as being aware of the complete rules of reality as well as having access to every empirical fact.
3: Beyond the normal consequences of being given this much knowledge.

I'm sure I forgot something (and if I really did find a genie to give me three wishes I'd think it over a little more), but hopefully I can fix whatever that is once I am effectively god.

Alternatively, if you suspect your genie would get pissed of by lawyer/computer scientist speak or you think this might be a secret test of character:

"Genie, I wish for the wisdom to make the most of my next two wishes."
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Re: 1391: "Darkness"

Postby Klear » Mon Jul 07, 2014 12:06 pm UTC

cellocgw wrote:Alternative reaction:

I read this one as only the newscasters forgot about day/night. All us 'normals' were still aware of the cycle, and are once again dumbfounded at the idiocracitic level of TV news programs. (I think I just made up a word there...)


That's how I understood the comic as well.

peregrine_crow wrote:"Genie, I wish for the wisdom to make the most of my next two wishes."


That's a good one, but you might end up in a Socratic/Buddhist state and not make any use of the wishes at all.

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Re: 1391: "Darkness"

Postby Whizbang » Mon Jul 07, 2014 12:17 pm UTC

I am pretty sure you don't need to wish that the media will forget about the day night cycle. In an effort to create more sensational news out of thin air, they will eventually report on the day night cycle as if it were new anyway.

Seriously, have you seen weather reporting?

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Re: 1391: "Darkness"

Postby orthogon » Mon Jul 07, 2014 12:22 pm UTC

That Cyanide and Happiness comic has just made me realise that genies have a version of the mermaid problem [TVTROPES WARNING]. Do they have geni[e]tals? As a straight guy, I can't be sure, but I get the impression that some genies are pretty hot, with their typical dark, handsome features and ripped upper bodies. Too bad if they don't have any lower body at all...
xtifr wrote:... and orthogon merely sounds undecided.

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Re: 1391: "Darkness"

Postby peregrine_crow » Mon Jul 07, 2014 12:25 pm UTC

Klear wrote:
cellocgw wrote:
peregrine_crow wrote:"Genie, I wish for the wisdom to make the most of my next two wishes."

That's a good one, but you might end up in a Socratic/Buddhist state and not make any use of the wishes at all.

Fair point, but in that case I guess the wisest thing was indeed to not use the other wishes (though that will be a very bitter pill if the wisdom only lasted for the time it took you to come up with that answer).
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Re: 1391: "Darkness"

Postby pkcommando » Mon Jul 07, 2014 12:27 pm UTC

jalohones wrote:
McBee wrote:Here, beat by the Onion an age or so ago...


Simpsons already did it?

In about 1989 the front cover of Australian Picture - a magazine which existed purely so that it could have a page 3 - carried the headline "We Explain Big Yellow Thing In Sky".

Or George Carlin's Al Sleet character.

From the version I grew up with -
"Tonight's forecast: Dark. Continued mostly dark tonight, followed by widely scattered light in the morning."

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Re: 1391: "Darkness"

Postby eviloatmeal » Mon Jul 07, 2014 1:02 pm UTC

sotanaht wrote:How long would it take for you to accidentally wish for something you regret, seconds too late?

Eight minutes, twenty-five seconds, and 16,6666... repeating miliseconds.

In fact I think if all your wishes came true, your life would be a lot like the movie Click.

"Man, I wish I didn't have to wait for the bus-*SCREECH*-AAAAAH!"

"Jeeze, I wish the bus ride weren't so long."

"I wish work days weren't so long."

"I wish dinner would just cook instantly."

"I wish I could fall asleep faster."

And before you know it, you've reduced life to a series of short actions you perform in order to advance to the next day in a matter of minutes, almost like one of those cow-clicking browser games where you repeat little chores over and over again.
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Re: 1391: "Darkness"

Postby Tobl » Mon Jul 07, 2014 1:19 pm UTC

chridd wrote:
Cristina wrote:This is the first time I've heard this workaround for getting more than 3 wishes. I don't really see any flaw apart from if there were some rule that the genie can't be affected by wishes.
It would only work if the three-wish restriction is only enforced by the genie. If, for instance, the restriction is because the genie only has enough magical power for three wishes, or if something in the magic changes based on the number of wishes, then it wouldn't work. Also, if there's a "no wishing for more wishes" restriction, it might also prevent wishes that would effectively give more wishes, not just direct wishes for more wishes.

Or, if the genie is a wish-corrupting genie, ze might forget that it's not the first wish but change something else to prevent the wisher from getting extra wishes.


Seeing how this is wish #2, I'm pretty sure #1 one was "Genie, I wish for a perfect understanding of the rules by which your wishes are granted.".

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Re: 1391: "Darkness"

Postby keithl » Mon Jul 07, 2014 1:36 pm UTC

Wait until the news media finds out that there is a huge zettaton ball of rock and iron just meters away, waiting to hit you, even break bones, if you don't push it away every second.

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Re: 1391: "Darkness"

Postby richP » Mon Jul 07, 2014 1:51 pm UTC

orthogon wrote:
eviloatmeal wrote:"I wish all computers became trinary and that they weren't always that way."

So that the most important characteristic of a Internet connection would be how many tits per second it can deliver?
Spoiler:
... You mean it isn't now? ...

Punchline inserted.

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Re: 1391: "Darkness"

Postby orthogon » Mon Jul 07, 2014 1:54 pm UTC

richP wrote:
orthogon wrote:
eviloatmeal wrote:"I wish all computers became trinary and that they weren't always that way."

So that the most important characteristic of a Internet connection would be how many tits per second it can deliver?
Spoiler:
... You mean it isn't now? ...

Punchline inserted.

Thankyouverrmuch.
xtifr wrote:... and orthogon merely sounds undecided.

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Re: 1391: "Darkness"

Postby Zylon » Mon Jul 07, 2014 2:45 pm UTC


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Re: 1391: "Darkness"

Postby Moose Anus » Mon Jul 07, 2014 3:02 pm UTC

peregrine_crow wrote:You can't beat evil literal genies that are deliberately interpreting your wishes in the worst possible way, so you have to assume that the genie is at least interpreting your wish in the way you intended it.
Do you really think I wished for a 10 inch pianist?
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Re: 1391: "Darkness"

Postby Klear » Mon Jul 07, 2014 3:34 pm UTC

eviloatmeal wrote:In fact I think if all your wishes came true, your life would be a lot like the movie Click.


Turning your life into an Adam Sandler movie. Now that's a scary thought. Also, nly now, as I'm replying to this, have I noticed what you did with the link. Well played.

Tobl wrote:Seeing how this is wish #2, I'm pretty sure #1 one was "Genie, I wish for a perfect understanding of the rules by which your wishes are granted.".


Genie: "I shall grant you three wishes."
Guy: "Genie, I wish for a perfect understanding of the rules by which your wishes are granted."
Genie: "Granted!"
Guy: "Hmmm... well, fuck."

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Re: 1391: "Darkness"

Postby orthogon » Mon Jul 07, 2014 3:43 pm UTC

Klear wrote:
Tobl wrote:Seeing how this is wish #2, I'm pretty sure #1 one was "Genie, I wish for a perfect understanding of the rules by which your wishes are granted.".


Genie: "I shall grant you three wishes."
Guy: "Genie, I wish for a perfect understanding of the rules by which your wishes are granted."
Genie: "Granted!"
Guy: "Hmmm... well, fuck."

Yeah - especially if you're obliged to make the remaining two wishes. Even trying to make a null wish is likely to be dangerous.
xtifr wrote:... and orthogon merely sounds undecided.

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Re: 1391: "Darkness"

Postby Zylon » Mon Jul 07, 2014 4:06 pm UTC

No matter what your wishes, you immediately go into a permanent coma where you spend the rest of your life lucid dreaming how it would have played out with those wishes, because there is no public record of people suddenly gaining inexplicable magic powers.

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Re: 1391: "Darkness"

Postby HES » Mon Jul 07, 2014 4:21 pm UTC

Zylon wrote:No matter what your wishes, you immediately go into a permanent coma where you spend the rest of your life lucid dreaming how it would have played out with those wishes, because there is no public record of people suddenly gaining inexplicable magic powers.

Lucid dreaming after being drugged by some shady Government organisation, presumably. No public record for a reason.
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Re: 1391: "Darkness"

Postby orthogon » Mon Jul 07, 2014 4:56 pm UTC

cellocgw wrote:Alternative reaction:

I read this one as only the newscasters forgot about day/night. All us 'normals' were still aware of the cycle, and are once again dumbfounded at the idiocracitic level of TV news programs. (I think I just made up a word there...)

It wasn't only the newscasters, it was "everyone in the media". And the thing is, these days we're all in the media.
xtifr wrote:... and orthogon merely sounds undecided.

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Re: 1391: "Darkness"

Postby rmsgrey » Mon Jul 07, 2014 5:12 pm UTC

Zylon wrote:No matter what your wishes, you immediately go into a permanent coma where you spend the rest of your life lucid dreaming how it would have played out with those wishes, because there is no public record of people suddenly gaining inexplicable magic powers.


What do you think Aladdin is?

Or maybe someone made a wish that no-one would notice the effects of wishes as anything weird.

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Re: 1391: "Darkness"

Postby ctdonath » Mon Jul 07, 2014 6:12 pm UTC

Client: "Can I ask you a couple questions?"
Lawyer: "Yes. Now, what's your other question?"

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Re: 1391: "Darkness"

Postby Vahir » Mon Jul 07, 2014 7:03 pm UTC

eviloatmeal wrote:"Genie, I wish for all my wishes to come true."

After that, you don't need the genie or his quota.

"I wish all my wishes would come true within seconds" so you don't have to add "right now" to the end of every wish.

Then you can start wishing for some interesting stuff. "I wish the discovery of the Higgs boson DID create a small black hole that tried to eat part of Switzerland and that everyone involved would be OK." "I wish all computers became trinary and that they weren't always that way." "I wish all straws had a third hole in them." "I wish I could have a bottomless pool due to suction and that it were large enough to swim in."


Then you spend the rest of your life trying desperately not to say "I wish you were dead!". Have fun.


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