1529: "Bracket"

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Re: 1529: "Bracket"

Postby kestrel828 » Mon May 25, 2015 11:29 am UTC

I feel like the only possible winner of this bracket is Mister Rogers (with bloodstained sweater).

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Re: 1529: "Bracket"

Postby ThemePark » Mon May 25, 2015 11:32 am UTC

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Re: 1529: "Bracket"

Postby DonJaime » Mon May 25, 2015 11:47 am UTC

Why is no-one asking what the hell this is about?
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Re: 1529: "Bracket"

Postby dtgriscom » Mon May 25, 2015 12:03 pm UTC

Who is "Jeff Gordan"? Is that a misspelled "Jeff Gordon"? (Although the latter doesn't seem to fit in with Mr. Bridges and the Messers. Daniels...)


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Re: 1529: "Bracket"

Postby Various Varieties » Mon May 25, 2015 12:04 pm UTC

Surely Chris Pratt and Chris Pine should swap positions, in order to keep the Marvel movie actors together?

The "Wes Anderson/Paul Thomas Anderson/Poul Anderson" section omits Paul W.S. Anderson and Thomas A. Anderson. :(

Jimi Hendrix vs Christina Hendricks

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Re: 1529: "Bracket"

Postby speising » Mon May 25, 2015 12:06 pm UTC

It's explainxkcd bait.

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Re: 1529: "Bracket"

Postby Burton » Mon May 25, 2015 12:52 pm UTC

Are Mister Rogers and Fred Astaire (Mister/Fred Astaire/Rogers) secretly the same person?!

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Re: 1529: "Bracket"

Postby MadTinker » Mon May 25, 2015 1:04 pm UTC

Doc Holiday

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Re: 1529: "Bracket"

Postby mikrit » Mon May 25, 2015 1:10 pm UTC

DonJaime wrote:Why is no-one asking what the hell this is about?

Oh, it's obvious. Some people have similar names, see, so they could compete about who has the most similar name... no, wait. They could compete about anything, right, and after the initial rounds, the competitors would have less similar names, and the two in the final round would have completely different names, so the winner will, in fact, have the least similar name... er... no...

All right then, it is not obvious. I have no idea what the point is.
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Re: 1529: "Bracket"

Postby Quercus » Mon May 25, 2015 1:13 pm UTC

Ohhh. It's sports. That explains a lot (including the title*). I thought it was a dendrogram and I was having a devil of a time trying to work out what distance metric Randall had used for the clustering.

*I don't think they're called brackets in the UK, although I can't remember the equivalent term - "the draw" maybe.

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Re: 1529: "Bracket"

Postby Copper Bezel » Mon May 25, 2015 1:16 pm UTC

Oh, huh. I'd never seen those as anything but a cladogram. I've learned a new word today.
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Re: 1529: "Bracket"

Postby NoggNogg » Mon May 25, 2015 1:48 pm UTC

If Jeff Gordan is meant to be the Nascar driver, it should be spelled "Gordon".

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Re: 1529: "Bracket"

Postby leeharveyosmond » Mon May 25, 2015 1:55 pm UTC

Bottom right corner .. looks to be missing Bath Iron Works https://www.gdbiw.com/ to me

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Re: 1529: "Bracket"

Postby truenorth » Mon May 25, 2015 1:56 pm UTC

djagir wrote:
player_03 wrote:The Doctor is between Dr. No and Cory Doctorow. And he's up against some serious competition in the second round...

Yes, but is that BBC "The Doctor" or Voyager "The Doctor"?

It's most definitely Valentino Rossi. He'll do fine.

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Re: 1529: "Bracket"

Postby xkcdbracket » Mon May 25, 2015 2:12 pm UTC

Over on Twitter, follow along with @xkcdbracket -- we're going to vote on one part of the bracket each day until we name a grand champion. The first poll, Louis Armstrong vs Neil Armstrong, is already up and running. You want your say, don't you?

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Re: 1529: "Bracket"

Postby tfoss1983 » Mon May 25, 2015 2:19 pm UTC

Eternal Density is almost certainly right about the missing doctor joke, but my first thought was that if you have Dr. Strange and Dr. Strangelove, then it only makes sense to have Dr. Love as well. Since Gene Simmons is in the tournament, it shouldn't be difficult to call him up.

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Re: 1529: "Bracket"

Postby TomTAC » Mon May 25, 2015 2:38 pm UTC

There is probably more than one reason why there is not a section for <<"Barack Hussein Obama" and some similar names>>.

One of which would be the rankings might be too obvious.

(plus I'd like to see the "Khan" tree. Chaka is my favorite there.)

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Re: 1529: "Bracket"

Postby richP » Mon May 25, 2015 2:44 pm UTC

World's longest setup for a "who's on first" style joke!

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Re: 1529: "Bracket"

Postby Angelastic » Mon May 25, 2015 2:46 pm UTC

TomTAC wrote:There is probably more than one reason why there is not a section for <<"Barack Hussein Obama" and some similar names>>.

I guess if you're going to bring up his name, here's a song about it.

I'm from NZ and I know 'sponge bath' rather than 'bed bath', and am unfamiliar enough with bracket thingies to not care about the imbalance, though I did wonder how it would work on the nodes that have more than two people/objects attached to them. I read the title text before finishing reading the whole comic, so I was expecting The Doctor to be missing, but then he wasn't, so I'm not sure whether anyone specific is being referred to in the title text. Doctor Worm, perhaps.
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Re: 1529: "Bracket"

Postby ancientcampus » Mon May 25, 2015 2:49 pm UTC

I love that Beyonce is seeded the highest in the tournament.

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Re: 1529: "Bracket"

Postby ucim » Mon May 25, 2015 2:56 pm UTC

... and here I was thinking about it like some kind of family tree.

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Re: 1529: "Bracket"

Postby Alsadius » Mon May 25, 2015 2:57 pm UTC

I cannot possibly be the first one to actually want to decide this bracket. But since I seem to be the first one with that much time on my hands, here goes:

Round 1, Left Side
[*] Louis Armstrong vs Neil Armstrong: Louis is cool and all, but first man on the moon still wins. Plus, he ripped off his own finger, packed it in ice, and went to the hospital - that's badass.

[*] Lance Armstrong vs Stretch Armstrong: Lance. If roids can't get him to the second round, what exactly are they good for?

[*] Jeff Gordan(sic) vs Jeff Bridges: Gordon's a winner, Bridges plays mostly losers. Gordon it is.

[*] Jeff Daniels vs Jack Daniels: Neither is good, but Jack helps you tolerate Jeff, so I'll give it to Jack.

[*] Orson Welles vs HG Wells: Tough one. I'll give it to Orson by a hair, just for running one of history's great trolls.

[*] George Orwell vs Wells Fargo: A socialist who's famous for explaining the insidiousness of omnipotent power structures and the importance of bring clear and concise with the English language? That's like big bank kryptonite. No contest.

[*] Kurt Russell vs Russell Brand vs Russell Crowe vs Russell Simmons: Brand's a useless shithead, Kurt's kind of washed up, I don't like rap, and Gladiator is still my favourite movie ever. Crowe in a second.

[*] Richard Simmons vs Gene Simmons: Not a huge fan of either, but Gene's at least done some cool stuff and made a couple tolerable songs, so Gene wins.

[*] Gene Hackman vs Hugh Jackman vs Alan Rickman: All worthy contenders, but Hans "Metatron" Snape wins.

[*] Alan Parsons vs Alan Partridge: Sort of like the Simmons race, I'll give this to the musician.

[*] Jenny McCarthy vs Joseph McCarthy vs Eugene McCarthy vs Eugene Debs: Can I hate them all to death? I'll actually give this to Joe, just because I think he's scrappy enough to beat the others.

[*] Gene Wilder vs Olivia Wilde vs Oscar Wilde: The judges would normally give this to Wilder, but the quote will be mis-attributed to Oscar Wilde, so he'll win on a technicality.

[*] Oscar de la Renta vs Oscar de la Hoya: Hoya, by KO in the first round.

[*] Jack Nicklaus vs Jack Nicholson: Tough one. Nicklaus is probably more impressive, but I hate golf, so I'll give it to Nicholson.

[*] Phil Mickelson vs Nicholas Nickelby: Same reason as above - Nickelby.

[*] Ryan Adams vs Bryan Adams: As a Canadian, I am legally obligated to support Bryan Adams.

[*] Chubby Checker vs Fats Domino: I can never seem to actually win at Checkers, so Checker can't win with me. And besides, Domino made better music anyway.

[*] Colin Firth vs Colin Farrell: Both are decent, but Firth is pretty clearly the better actor.

[*] Will Ferrell vs The Farrelly Brothers: Will, no question. At least he's occasionally funny without need to resort to gross-out humour.

[*] Joseph Gordon-Levitt vs Jennifer Love Hewitt: JGL, not even a question.

[*] Danny Glover vs Donald Glover: Danny was cool, Donald's never really appealed to me. Danny it is.

[*] Donnie Wahlberg vs Mark Wahlberg: This is the first one where I'm confused why you're even bothering to ask. Is there any circumstance where Mark loses?

[*] Mark Ruffalo vs Mark Shuttleworth: I'd never heard of Shuttleworth, but he sounds awesome, and a guy who's traveled to space could hardly have a more appropriate name. Shuttleworth it is.

Round 2, Left Side
[*] Neil Armstrong vs Lance Armstrong: Roids can only take you so far. Round 2 seems to be the limit, because this has to go to Neil.

[*] Jeff Gordon vs Jack Daniels: Jack is rather gross. Nascar is a little bit gross, but not as much. Gordon it is.

[*] Orson Welles vs George Orwell: Tough one - both are good choices. I'll take Orwell, because there's too many Hollywood types in the bracket, and we need an anti-communist to clean up after them.

[*] Russell Crowe vs Gene Simmons: I'm not sure they'd actually fight, they seem more likely to go engage in some wacky adventure together. But Crowe's more likely to survive that adventure, so he wins.

[*] Alan Rickman vs Alan Parsons: Parsons just can't handle that much British snark.

[*] Oscar Wilde vs Oscar de la Hoya: Hoya would win in a fight, but Wilde would come up with something sufficiently clever before the match that Hoya would be too embarrassed to show up.

[*] Jack Nicholson vs Nicholas Nickelby: Awesome real dude beats mediocre fictional dude any day.

[*] Bryan Adams vs Fats Domino: Fats is undoubtedly the better musician, but is he as Canadian as Adams? No. No, he is not. Adams wins.

[*] Colin Firth vs Will Ferrell: Normally I'd want to go for the serious actor over the dumb comedian, but Firth doesn't really appeal to me at all, so I'll give this to Ferrell.

[*] Danny Glover vs Mark Wahlberg: Wahlberg has done more and better. He wins.

Round 3, Left Side

[*] Jeff Gordon vs George Orwell: This is where the weaker competitors get to fall out of the race. Gordon's a good guy, I'm sure, but he's no Orwell.

[*] Russell Crowe vs Alan Rickman: Tough call. I think I have to go Rickman - he's just better - but I'll feel a bit bad about it.

[*] Joe McCarthy vs Oscar Wilde: It'd look like McCarthy would string him up as a communist, but Walter Cronkite will swoop in at the last minute and let Wilde escape from the Senate committee unscathed.

[*] Jack Nicholson vs Bryan Adams: Finally, Adams' kryptonite - someone who can act Canadian long enough for us to engage in our desperate, desperate desire to support absolutely anyone but Bryan Adams.

[*] Will Ferrell vs Joseph Gordon-Levitt: JGL is unquestionably the better actor, and less annoying to boot. Easy choice.

[*] Mark Wahlberg vs Mark Shuttleworth: One of the first entertainment vs real life races, surprisingly. I'll tend to lean towards the people who've done something for real, and Wahlberg hasn't done enough fictional stuff to make up for it.

I should probably get back to work(and I have no idea how to call Armstrong/Orwell...), so I'll look at round 4+ and the right side later.
Last edited by Alsadius on Mon May 25, 2015 3:00 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: 1529: "Bracket"

Postby helo darqness » Mon May 25, 2015 3:00 pm UTC

Chuq wrote:Disappointed - missed opportunity for Gary Oldman vs Gary Newman

Christopher Reeves
Christopher Walken

Also, there are serious look alikes....

WIll Farrell
Chad Smith

Ben Kingsley
Patrick Stewart

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Re: 1529: "Bracket"

Postby DreadArchon » Mon May 25, 2015 3:01 pm UTC

You can tell this was a fantastic comic by the number of people trying to one-up the name selection process. :D

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Re: 1529: "Bracket"

Postby Greguardo » Mon May 25, 2015 3:20 pm UTC

Can't believe nobody has suggested Dr. Zoidberg

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Re: 1529: "Bracket"

Postby rmsgrey » Mon May 25, 2015 3:23 pm UTC

DonJaime wrote:Why is no-one asking what the hell this is about?

Because there's obviously not enough information to tell?

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Re: 1529: "Bracket"

Postby ThemePark » Mon May 25, 2015 3:24 pm UTC

Betty White
Joe Black
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Re: 1529: "Bracket"

Postby wayne » Mon May 25, 2015 4:00 pm UTC

The winner of the final round is obvious.

Last edited by wayne on Mon May 25, 2015 4:18 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: 1529: "Bracket"

Postby Eshru » Mon May 25, 2015 4:00 pm UTC

A 128 man Doctor bracket would be fun. 256 even if we could manage it. Just force all them into subcategories and make them fight on those lines. TV doctors, whovian doctors, villan doctors, doctors who probably aren't doctors, ect.

Adding to the doctor list: Dr. Zed

Also I came here to say something specific, read the thread and forgot it. Hmm.

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Re: 1529: "Bracket"

Postby ancientcampus » Mon May 25, 2015 4:11 pm UTC

More to the pile:
Doctor Frank-N-Furter (Rocky Horror Picture Show)
Doctor Robotnik
Doctor Quinn, Medicine Woman
Dr. Mario

It was said on the last page, but I think Dr Seuss deserves a top spot

Also, I half-expected Van Hellsing to appear with the "Van"s. I'm not actually saying the comic needed to be longer, though.

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Re: 1529: "Bracket"

Postby JediMaster012 » Mon May 25, 2015 4:46 pm UTC

Am I the only one who was surprised that this was not clickable/interactive?

I was expecting people to be able to fill out the bracket via clicking. It would certainly be fun to see who got picked the most and other sorts of data.

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Re: 1529: "Bracket"

Postby buzzgunner » Mon May 25, 2015 4:49 pm UTC

Well, just off the top of my head, some of the "doctors" that were omitted are:
Doctor Doom
Doctor Dolittle
Doctor Demento
Doctor Solar
Doctor Zhivago
Doc Savage
Doc Hollywood
Doctor Moreau
Doctor Fu Manchu
Doctor Phibes
Doctor Evil
Doctor Kildare
Doctor Cyclops
Doctor Frankenstein
Doctor McCoy
Doctor Crusher

...and those are just off the top of my head without doing any research. Granted, some of them (like Doctor Solar) go back to my childhood (in the 60s).

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Re: 1529: "Bracket"

Postby synp » Mon May 25, 2015 5:02 pm UTC

Dr. Fever

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Re: 1529: "Bracket"

Postby Epod » Mon May 25, 2015 5:12 pm UTC

We don't know whether the contest is based on physical combat, trivia, style, a dance-off, or who knows what, but I would *totally* get the Oscar De La Hoya / Oscar de la Renta match on pay-per-view.

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Re: 1529: "Bracket"

Postby Showsni » Mon May 25, 2015 5:25 pm UTC

wayne wrote:The winner of the final round is obvious.


But he'd be beaten by a team of Gandalf the Grey and Gandalf the White and Monty Python and the Holy Grail's Black Knight and Benito Mussolini and the Blue Meanie and Cowboy Curtis and Jambi the Genie, Robocop, The Terminator, Captain Kirk and Darth Vader, Lo Pan, Superman, every single Power Ranger, Bill S. Preston, Theodore Logan, Spock, The Rock, Doc Ock and Hulk Hogan!

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Re: 1529: "Bracket"

Postby Various Varieties » Mon May 25, 2015 5:31 pm UTC

Eshru wrote:Adding to the doctor list: Dr. Zed

... versus Dr. Dee and Dr. J.

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Re: 1529: "Bracket"

Postby CrispyCritter » Mon May 25, 2015 6:08 pm UTC

I decided that this was a tournament of "Incorrect Google Name Searches" - the searcher enters a valid name, but then clicks on someone (something?) unrelated.

The first round head-to-head matchups are between folks that are mistaken for each other; after that it presumably is just pure numeric incorrectness - how many times when the name is typed in does the user click on something else? Hmm, you'll end up with a completely differerent set of winners if the win is decided by the percentage of times that the user clicks on something else, rather than absolute magnitude. So still not enough info to fill in the contest!

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Re: 1529: "Bracket"

Postby Greguardo » Mon May 25, 2015 6:17 pm UTC

And Dr. Zaius

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Re: 1529: "Bracket"

Postby armandoalvarez » Mon May 25, 2015 6:20 pm UTC

orthogon wrote:Great, an opportunity to mention my gripe about Bed Bath and Beyond. A bed bath is a wash that the nurse gives you in hospital if you're too sick or immobile to get to the bathroom. So that puts me in mind of a very ill hospital patient, in which context "beyond" suggests the Great Beyond. It doesn't help that (I'm pretty sure) the name of the shop doesn't have a comma. "Bed, bath and beyond" would be infinitely less disturbing. I can only assume that "bed bath" doesn't have the same meaning in the US: am I right?

And another thing: what's the being that he wanted to have "Dr Who" next to Dr No, giving out a much better rhythm, but couldn't risk the wrath of a certain group of fans?

I think this may be a regional thing. What you call a "bed bath," I call a "sponge bath." I never heard of a bed bath. I think "sponge bath" is the standard American term, because I remember hearing it in American medical shows.

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Re: 1529: "Bracket"

Postby arasaka » Mon May 25, 2015 6:31 pm UTC

TheStormRanger wrote:What did Beyonce do to earn a bye to the third round?

I would have done a mononymous bracket: Madonna, Sting, Beyonce, Cher.

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