1620: "Christmas Settings"

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crystalmeph
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1620: "Christmas Settings"

Postby crystalmeph » Wed Dec 23, 2015 5:08 am UTC

Image

Title text: "SOUND DOGS MAKE: [BARKING] [HISSING] [LIGHTSABER NOISES] [FLUENT ENGLISH] [SWEARING]"

I really wanted this one to be interactive.
Last edited by crystalmeph on Wed Dec 23, 2015 5:28 am UTC, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: 1620: Christmas Settings

Postby Mikeski » Wed Dec 23, 2015 5:26 am UTC

Accident at Universal Control causes "Santa Baby" song to become 764% creepier...

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Re: 1620: Christmas Settings

Postby Eshru » Wed Dec 23, 2015 5:27 am UTC

The pores of your skin one might be the creepiest thing I've read in years. I like it.

Edit: Item for debate - did she trip on purpose to troll the universe? I like to think so.

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Re: 1620: "Christmas Settings"

Postby ps.02 » Wed Dec 23, 2015 6:45 am UTC

No dial setting for quantum tunneling? Or the more old-fashioned kind of tunneling?

Mikeski wrote:Accident at Universal Control causes "Santa Baby" song to become 764% creepier...

Well, it's not like he didn't already have an unsavory reputation. (Only maybe SFW.)

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Re: 1620: "Christmas Settings"

Postby Bobhayes » Wed Dec 23, 2015 7:05 am UTC

"These dials controls"?

Oh, xkcd.

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Re: 1620: "Christmas Settings"

Postby mrob27 » Wed Dec 23, 2015 7:20 am UTC

Do we note spelling (or grammar) errors here?
"These dials, for example, controls Christmas."
For the record:
Spoiler:
1620-orig.png
xkcd 1620 with grammatical error in first panel
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Re: 1620: "Christmas Settings"

Postby Wee Red Bird » Wed Dec 23, 2015 8:11 am UTC

At least she didn't change the dial for "How frequent is Christmas" from "once a year" to "every day". I know a lot of people wish it was...

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Re: 1620: "Christmas Settings"

Postby orthogon » Wed Dec 23, 2015 8:36 am UTC

Wee Red Bird wrote:At least she didn't change the dial for "How frequent is Christmas" from "once a year" to "every day". I know a lot of people wish it was...

Strictly, they don't wish it was (or even were), they wish it could be. That's kind of a second-order wish, which furthermore suggests that the songwriter was aware of the existence of the relevant dial and of its possible settings.
xtifr wrote:... and orthogon merely sounds undecided.

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Re: 1620: "Christmas Settings"

Postby Eternal Density » Wed Dec 23, 2015 8:38 am UTC

Assuming "click click" means she turned it two spaces, and assuming she remembers this and turned it two spaces, guessing which way it went, and since it is now on chimneys, since everyone knows that is the case, then the true setting before this event is actually bathroom mirror, or toilet.

Alternatively, if the events in the comic are not in our universe and depict a departure from what we know, then the setting changed from chimneys to either bathroom mirror or toilet.

Because of the bigger gap at the top, toilet is more likely.
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Re: 1620: "Christmas Settings"

Postby CharlieP » Wed Dec 23, 2015 8:51 am UTC

Eternal Density wrote:Assuming "click click" means she turned it two spaces, and assuming she remembers this and turned it two spaces, guessing which way it went, and since it is now on chimneys, since everyone knows that is the case, then the true setting before this event is actually bathroom mirror, or toilet.


A more conventional reading of the panels would suggest that it was previously set to chimneys, but she has now inadvertently click-clicked it to either kitchen faucet or mail slot.
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Re: 1620: "Christmas Settings"

Postby orthogon » Wed Dec 23, 2015 9:27 am UTC

Eternal Density wrote:Because of the bigger gap at the top, toilet is more likely.

Maybe Santa is actually bacteria. Their small size, and ability to multiply rapidly and to travel quickly through the water and sewerage system would explain much of the Christmas present distribution mystery. Also the epidemiology suggests that the incidence of Santa correlates well with the widespread introduction of plumbing in the 19th century.
xtifr wrote:... and orthogon merely sounds undecided.

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Re: 1620: "Christmas Settings"

Postby Wee Red Bird » Wed Dec 23, 2015 9:40 am UTC

orthogon wrote:Maybe Santa is actually bacteria. Their small size, and ability to multiply rapidly and to travel quickly through the water and sewerage system would explain much of the Christmas present distribution mystery. Also the epidemiology suggests that the incidence of Santa correlates well with the widespread introduction of plumbing in the 19th century.


Modern antibacterial soaps are killing the spirit of Christmas.

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Re: 1620: "Christmas Settings"

Postby JeromeWest » Wed Dec 23, 2015 10:47 am UTC

Wee Red Bird wrote:Modern antibacterial soaps are killing the spirit of Christmas.


I don't think Santa has too much to worry about: http://time.com/4035442/antibacterial-soap-ineffective/

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Re: 1620: "Christmas Settings"

Postby rmsgrey » Wed Dec 23, 2015 10:56 am UTC

orthogon wrote:
Eternal Density wrote:Because of the bigger gap at the top, toilet is more likely.

Maybe Santa is actually bacteria. Their small size, and ability to multiply rapidly and to travel quickly through the water and sewerage system would explain much of the Christmas present distribution mystery. Also the epidemiology suggests that the incidence of Santa correlates well with the widespread introduction of plumbing in the 19th century.


It solves one part of the distribution mystery, but it adds another layer to the question of how Santa transports the presents - it goes from impossible due to number to impossible on a per-item basis...

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Re: 1620: "Christmas Settings"

Postby Angua » Wed Dec 23, 2015 11:13 am UTC

mrob27 wrote:Do we note spelling (or grammar) errors here?
"These dials, for example, controls Christmas."
For the record:
Spoiler:
1620-orig.png

Fixed now.
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Re: 1620: "Christmas Settings"

Postby da Doctah » Wed Dec 23, 2015 11:24 am UTC

Whatever you do, don't let her anywhere near the meta-controls, that control what the setting labels are on all the controls.

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Re: 1620: "Christmas Settings"

Postby orthogon » Wed Dec 23, 2015 11:38 am UTC

rmsgrey wrote:
orthogon wrote:
Eternal Density wrote:Because of the bigger gap at the top, toilet is more likely.

Maybe Santa is actually bacteria. Their small size, and ability to multiply rapidly and to travel quickly through the water and sewerage system would explain much of the Christmas present distribution mystery. Also the epidemiology suggests that the incidence of Santa correlates well with the widespread introduction of plumbing in the 19th century.


It solves one part of the distribution mystery, but it adds another layer to the question of how Santa transports the presents - it goes from impossible due to number to impossible on a per-item basis...

I was thinking they all work together in huge teams, like ants, but it would be difficult for them to get a bicycle up through the soil pipe. I reckon they either synthesize the presents in-place by excreting appropriate chemicals, or they each carry a molecule or two and assemble them into the gift at the destination.

EDIT: surfeit of prepositions
Last edited by orthogon on Wed Dec 23, 2015 11:51 am UTC, edited 1 time in total.
xtifr wrote:... and orthogon merely sounds undecided.

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Re: 1620: "Christmas Settings"

Postby eviloatmeal » Wed Dec 23, 2015 11:50 am UTC

Santa enters houses through: [BARKING] [HISSING] [LIGHTSABER NOISES] [FLUENT ENGLISH] [SWEARING]
*** FREE SHIPPING ENABLED ***
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Re: 1620: Christmas Settings

Postby PsiSquared » Wed Dec 23, 2015 11:57 am UTC

Eshru wrote:Item for debate - did she trip on purpose to troll the universe? I like to think so.


She probably tripped because the guy next door fiddled with the dial controlling the gravitational constant. :mrgreen:

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Re: 1620: "Christmas Settings"

Postby pduthie » Wed Dec 23, 2015 1:06 pm UTC

Well I for one register my [vote] [life] [first-born child] [fleeting interest] for this to be the next xkcd spin-off.
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Re: 1620: Christmas Settings

Postby moody7277 » Wed Dec 23, 2015 1:59 pm UTC

Eshru wrote:The pores of your skin one might be the creepiest thing I've read in years. I like it.

Edit: Item for debate - did she trip on purpose to troll the universe? I like to think so.


The whole bottom right sector looks like horror story plots.
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Re: 1620: "Christmas Settings"

Postby cellocgw » Wed Dec 23, 2015 3:07 pm UTC

CharlieP wrote:
Eternal Density wrote:Assuming "click click" means she turned it two spaces, and assuming she remembers this and turned it two spaces, guessing which way it went, and since it is now on chimneys, since everyone knows that is the case, then the true setting before this event is actually bathroom mirror, or toilet.


A more conventional reading of the panels would suggest that it was previously set to chimneys, but she has now inadvertently click-clicked it to either kitchen faucet or mail slot.


Fortunately, in this alternate universe, "mail slot" is what they call the vertical tube which is used to carry exhaust gases from a fireplace out of the house.
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Re: 1620: "Christmas Settings"

Postby Heimhenge » Wed Dec 23, 2015 4:02 pm UTC

Eternal Density wrote:Assuming "click click" means she turned it two spaces, and assuming she remembers this and turned it two spaces, guessing which way it went, and since it is now on chimneys, since everyone knows that is the case, then the true setting before this event is actually bathroom mirror, or toilet.


Yes, but a trip/fall resulting in two random clicks could also put the dial back to "Chimney" so that's as just as likely as "Kitchen Faucet" or "Mail Slot", no?

And why the large gap to the right of "Chimney" (and also at the bottom of the dial)? Seems like there's enough space there for 2 more settings. I would add the settings "Quantum Tunneling" (suggested by ps.02) and maybe "Front Door" for a more traditional and simpler entrance. There's some unsettling implications with "Back Door" though.

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Re: 1620: "Christmas Settings"

Postby ellbur » Wed Dec 23, 2015 6:43 pm UTC

Any Santa who comes in through the cat flap is a welcome Santa in my house.
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Re: 1620: "Christmas Settings"

Postby Showsni » Wed Dec 23, 2015 7:52 pm UTC

I've never actually live in a house with a functional chimney. Father Christmas always entered our house with a magic key, I believe...

Any Santa who comes in through the cat flap is a welcome Santa in my house.


I suppose that would be Santa Claws.

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Re: 1620: "Christmas Settings"

Postby david.windsor » Wed Dec 23, 2015 8:39 pm UTC

Eternal Density wrote:Assuming "click click" means she turned it two spaces, and assuming she remembers this and turned it two spaces, guessing which way it went, and since it is now on chimneys, since everyone knows that is the case, then the true setting before this event is actually bathroom mirror, or toilet.

Alternatively, if the events in the comic are not in our universe and depict a departure from what we know, then the setting changed from chimneys to either bathroom mirror or toilet.

Because of the bigger gap at the top, toilet is more likely.


you've made the asumption that the dial changed was the one shown, what do the other four dials on the planel control? Perhaps the 'Toys made from...' dial was changed to "Pink biomass" or "Shrieking Eels"
Last edited by david.windsor on Wed Dec 23, 2015 8:47 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: 1620: "Christmas Settings"

Postby david.windsor » Wed Dec 23, 2015 8:43 pm UTC

Wee Red Bird wrote:
orthogon wrote:Maybe Santa is actually bacteria. Their small size, and ability to multiply rapidly and to travel quickly through the water and sewerage system would explain much of the Christmas present distribution mystery. Also the epidemiology suggests that the incidence of Santa correlates well with the widespread introduction of plumbing in the 19th century.


Modern antibacterial soaps are killing the spirit of Christmas.


Wait... Santa uses the force?
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Re: 1620: "Christmas Settings"

Postby ManaUser » Thu Dec 24, 2015 12:54 am UTC

Eternal Density wrote:Assuming "click click" means she turned it two spaces, and assuming she remembers this and turned it two spaces, guessing which way it went, and since it is now on chimneys, since everyone knows that is the case, then the true setting before this event is actually bathroom mirror, or toilet.

Or chimneys. She has a 50% chance of getting it back in the right place, after all.

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Re: 1620: "Christmas Settings"

Postby Cougar Allen » Thu Dec 24, 2015 5:12 am UTC

Showsni wrote:I've never actually live in a house with a functional chimney. Father Christmas always entered our house with a magic key, I believe...


When I was a small boy I noticed our apartment didn't seem to have a chimney, and I asked how Santa would get in. My father explained that although we had no fireplace we did have a chimney on the roof, and pointed it out to me. I wasn't satisfied. Where does it go? How is Santa going to get in? He took me down in the cellar and showed me the (oil) furnace. The furnace had a little door in it, and I supposed Santa could probably squeeze through it by magic, but the whole story didn't seem plausible to me. He's going to land his sleigh on the roof, go down through the chimney to the cellar, then climb back up two flights of stairs to our second floor apartment? Why??? Wouldn't it be easier to come in through a window? If the reindeer can hover like a helicopter, that would seem much easier.

However, the Universe Control Panel specifies an "open window." What??? We have to leave a window open, in December??? We'll catch pneumonia! My idea was as long as we left a window unlocked Santa would be able to open it and get in.

I think in olden days when everyone had a fireplace Santa came in through the chimney, but nowadays when everyone has a furnace he comes in through a window. But I don't think it has to be left open for him. Santa is magic! He can open windows! He could probably open it by magic even if it's locked, but let's leave one unlocked for him anyway to make sure.

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Re: 1620: "Christmas Settings"

Postby Kit. » Thu Dec 24, 2015 2:16 pm UTC

Wee Red Bird wrote:
orthogon wrote:Maybe Santa is actually bacteria. Their small size, and ability to multiply rapidly and to travel quickly through the water and sewerage system would explain much of the Christmas present distribution mystery. Also the epidemiology suggests that the incidence of Santa correlates well with the widespread introduction of plumbing in the 19th century.


Modern antibacterial soaps are killing the spirit of Christmas.

Obligatory xkcd reference.

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Re: 1620: Christmas Settings

Postby Jackpot777 » Thu Dec 24, 2015 4:04 pm UTC

Mikeski wrote:Accident at Universal Control causes "Santa Baby" song to become 764% creepier...


Am I the only person that thinks Eartha Kitt's voice in the song makes her sound like a cyborg? It's the way she goes down the scale during "under the tree", makes her sound like the representative from the Techno Union.

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Re: 1620: "Christmas Settings"

Postby Jackpot777 » Thu Dec 24, 2015 4:08 pm UTC

Heimhenge wrote:And why the large gap to the right of "Chimney" (and also at the bottom of the dial)? Seems like there's enough space there for 2 more settings. I would add the settings "Quantum Tunneling" (suggested by ps.02) and maybe "Front Door" for a more traditional and simpler entrance. There's some unsettling implications with "Back Door" though.


Well, it used to say
Spoiler:
using Han Solo's Millennium Falcon
, so...

/"Back Door", huh? Good idea.

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Re: 1620: Christmas Settings

Postby orthogon » Thu Dec 24, 2015 5:30 pm UTC

Jackpot777 wrote:
Mikeski wrote:Accident at Universal Control causes "Santa Baby" song to become 764% creepier...


Am I the only person that thinks Eartha Kitt's voice in the song makes her sound like a cyborg? It's the way she goes down the scale during "under the tree", makes her sound like the representative from the Techno Union.

I knew the song from playing it occasionally in a band, but just watched Eartha Kitt's version on YouTube and I see what you mean. It's got clever lyrics with lots of little jokes, but she performs it as though she's singing in a foreign language with no idea what the words mean.
xtifr wrote:... and orthogon merely sounds undecided.

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Re: 1620: "Christmas Settings"

Postby ShuRugal » Fri Dec 25, 2015 3:54 am UTC

Eternal Density wrote:Assuming "click click" means she turned it two spaces, and assuming she remembers this and turned it two spaces, guessing which way it went, and since it is now on chimneys, since everyone knows that is the case, then the true setting before this event is actually bathroom mirror, or toilet.



I believe that what this guy is trying to say is that we can see that it started on "chimney" and got mis-turned 2-clicks. If the dark-haired girl then remembers two clicks, but gets the direction wrong (total error now 4 clicks), it ends up on either Mirror or Toilet.

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Re: 1620: "Christmas Settings"

Postby rmsgrey » Sun Jan 03, 2016 5:50 pm UTC

ShuRugal wrote:
Eternal Density wrote:Assuming "click click" means she turned it two spaces, and assuming she remembers this and turned it two spaces, guessing which way it went, and since it is now on chimneys, since everyone knows that is the case, then the true setting before this event is actually bathroom mirror, or toilet.



I believe that what this guy is trying to say is that we can see that it started on "chimney" and got mis-turned 2-clicks. If the dark-haired girl then remembers two clicks, but gets the direction wrong (total error now 4 clicks), it ends up on either Mirror or Toilet.


I believe you have his intended meaning backwards - he's assuming that we are in the universe after the dial incident, so what we believe to be the way Santa has always entered the house has only actually been the way it's always been since the dial was turned - meaning that it used to be one of the other two...

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Re: 1620: "Christmas Settings"

Postby flicky1991 » Sun Jan 03, 2016 9:41 pm UTC

ManaUser wrote:
Eternal Density wrote:Assuming "click click" means she turned it two spaces, and assuming she remembers this and turned it two spaces, guessing which way it went, and since it is now on chimneys, since everyone knows that is the case, then the true setting before this event is actually bathroom mirror, or toilet.

Or chimneys. She has a 50% chance of getting it back in the right place, after all.

It's only 50% if you assume she was attentive enough to notice that it clicked exactly twice. If neither of them was certain about the number of turns, then there's a small chance it would end up on one of the others.
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Re: 1620: "Christmas Settings"

Postby Copper Bezel » Mon Jan 04, 2016 7:15 am UTC

rmsgrey wrote:I believe you have his intended meaning backwards - he's assuming that we are in the universe after the dial incident, so what we believe to be the way Santa has always entered the house has only actually been the way it's always been since the dial was turned - meaning that it used to be one of the other two...

The dial is pointed to "Chimney" before she bumps it. She's not even looking at it, it's shown entirely for our benefit. Part of why the strip didn't really click with me, honestly - seems kinda simplistic this way.
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