1650 "Baby"

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humanalien
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Re: 1650 "Baby"

Postby humanalien » Thu Mar 03, 2016 2:48 am UTC

http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=2871 Dinosaur Comics, too, addressed this eternal conundrum. (Personally I just avoid people who have babies.)
Image

I discovered a distance between two points that's shorter than a straight line! It's called a straight line segment.

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zjxs
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Re: 1650 "Baby"

Postby zjxs » Thu Mar 03, 2016 2:54 am UTC

How is babby formed?

KittenKaboodle
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Re: 1650 "Baby"

Postby KittenKaboodle » Thu Mar 03, 2016 4:15 am UTC

zjxs wrote:How is babby formed?


perhaps this will help

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Wee Red Bird
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Re: 1650 "Baby"

Postby Wee Red Bird » Thu Mar 03, 2016 8:11 am UTC

Neil_Boekend wrote:
The Onion wrote:WALDEN, TN—While family members stood silently by and did nothing, visiting aunt Debbie Koeler proclaimed her desire to consume the "tiny little toesies" of her nephew Daniel, a powerless infant less than one-fifth her size, after the child's christening Sunday. "Who's my little sugar pie? I could just eat you right up," Koeler threatened as she held the vulnerable child above her cavernous mouth and simulated the impending act of cannibalism on his tiny, dangling legs. "I've gotcha! I've gotcha! Yes I do! Yes I do!" Koeler then returned the confused and speechless newborn to the bouncy seat, prodded his abdomen, and disappeared behind her own hands.


When they give the baby a bath and claim the chopped carrots and potatoes are bath time toys, then you have to worry.
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You, sir, name?
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Re: 1650 "Baby"

Postby You, sir, name? » Thu Mar 03, 2016 10:25 am UTC

dtilque wrote:what OS is it running?

That's a nice child process you spawned.


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Re: 1650 "Baby"

Postby I am Jack's username » Thu Mar 03, 2016 11:22 am UTC

Whatever you do, do not start talking about the Fermi paradox probably being due to habitat destruction from overpopulation - parents tend to respond poorly to that.

If you also dislike insincere questions and dishonest answers (a.k.a. small talk), the best thing to do may be to just walk away.

peregrine_crow
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Re: 1650 "Baby"

Postby peregrine_crow » Thu Mar 03, 2016 11:23 am UTC

Heimhenge wrote:Oh great ... we were just starting to make some progress reducing the CBR, and now look what you've gone and done.

Does CBR stands for something other than cosmic background radiation or am I missing a joke here?
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Re: 1650 "Baby"

Postby ijuin » Thu Mar 03, 2016 12:06 pm UTC

Combined Birth Rate?

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HES
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Re: 1650 "Baby"

Postby HES » Thu Mar 03, 2016 12:48 pm UTC

Cost-Benefit Ratio?
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spelley
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Re: 1650 "Baby"

Postby spelley » Thu Mar 03, 2016 1:21 pm UTC

As a new father, I can tell you this: even as the father I sometimes am not quite sure what to say to the baby when playing with it. If someone said "Wow, that's a really cool baby!" I would simply reply "Hell yes he is." The most annoying things someone can say with regards to my kid is when I'm holding him/feeding him/changing him, there are (mostly older) people who act absolutely SHOCKED that I do that stuff. Like it's the mother's job to do all that or something.

SuicideJunkie
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Re: 1650 "Baby"

Postby SuicideJunkie » Thu Mar 03, 2016 1:54 pm UTC

Crying:Breathing Ratio?

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Keyman
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Re: 1650 "Baby"

Postby Keyman » Thu Mar 03, 2016 2:05 pm UTC

Could Be Rations?
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Quizatzhaderac
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Re: 1650 "Baby"

Postby Quizatzhaderac » Thu Mar 03, 2016 3:26 pm UTC

The thing about recursion problems is that they tend to contain other recursion problems.

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Heimhenge
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Re: 1650 "Baby"

Postby Heimhenge » Thu Mar 03, 2016 3:52 pm UTC

peregrine_crow wrote:
Heimhenge wrote:Oh great ... we were just starting to make some progress reducing the CBR, and now look what you've gone and done.

Does CBR stands for something other than cosmic background radiation or am I missing a joke here?


"Crude Birth Rate" (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Birth_rate)

But ijuin was close enough.

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Pfhorrest
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Re: 1650 "Baby"

Postby Pfhorrest » Thu Mar 03, 2016 6:41 pm UTC

Cosmic Baby Radiation was my assumption.
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ThemePark
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Re: 1650 "Baby"

Postby ThemePark » Thu Mar 03, 2016 7:14 pm UTC

Pfhorrest wrote:Cosmic Baby Radiation was my assumption.

Which it is, if you're a Teletubby.
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Heimhenge
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Re: 1650 "Baby"

Postby Heimhenge » Thu Mar 03, 2016 7:15 pm UTC

Pfhorrest wrote:Cosmic Baby Radiation was my assumption.


That's actually funnier, imho. They are such hot and sweaty little things, and as a blackbody radiator, they're a couple degrees hotter than adults.
See: http://www.medguidance.com/thread/Norma ... ature.html

NemeSys
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Re: 1650 "Baby"

Postby NemeSys » Thu Mar 03, 2016 7:45 pm UTC

"Nice. Another contribution to the population problem."

I don't get invited to many christenings...

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Re: 1650 "Baby"

Postby Mikeski » Fri Mar 04, 2016 2:24 am UTC

NemeSys wrote:"Nice. Another contribution to the population problem."

I don't get invited to many christenings...

Aye, you have to keep up with the times. Complaints about overpopulation are unacceptably racist, today.

(Blue countries are shrinking, delta immigration. Green ones are approximately stable. Other colors are growing.)

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Re: 1650 "Baby"

Postby RogueCynic » Fri Mar 04, 2016 4:08 am UTC

When my niece was born, her maternal grandmother remarked she looked like my brother and me but not my sister in law. Awkward since I am a male, not to mention the incest.
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Pfhorrest
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Re: 1650 "Baby"

Postby Pfhorrest » Fri Mar 04, 2016 4:48 am UTC

So your brother and his wife had a baby? I expect that comment was just supposed to imply that the baby looks like it takes after your / your brother's side of the family (presumably there is a familial resemblance between you and your brother), but not so much her mother's side; like, your brother's genes (which you share) overpowered his wife's when it comes to your baby's phenotype.
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Re: 1650 "Baby"

Postby peregrine_crow » Fri Mar 04, 2016 8:37 am UTC

Heimhenge wrote:"Crude Birth Rate" (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Birth_rate)

But ijuin was close enough.
Ah, ok, yes that does make more sense than babies somehow causing cosmic background radiation.

Heimhenge wrote:
Pfhorrest wrote:Cosmic Baby Radiation was my assumption.


That's actually funnier, imho. They are such hot and sweaty little things, and as a blackbody radiator, they're a couple degrees hotter than adults.
See: http://www.medguidance.com/thread/Norma ... ature.html
But adults are much larger than babies, so in total they probably emit more heat.
Ignorance killed the cat, curiosity was framed.

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Soupspoon
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Re: 1650 "Baby"

Postby Soupspoon » Fri Mar 04, 2016 8:57 am UTC

peregrine_crow wrote:Ah, ok, yes that does make more sense than babies somehow causing cosmic background radiation.

However, the Cosmic Background Radiation probably has caused babies.

(If nothing else, prior to the advent of 24 hour television you might find yourself at the end of the night's viewing with your loved one cuddling up on the sofa beside you, and you'd be left with snow-static on the screen with nothing much else to do...)

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Pfhorrest
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Re: 1650 "Baby"

Postby Pfhorrest » Fri Mar 04, 2016 9:01 am UTC

I think you all misunderstood.

Cosmic Baby Radiation is the constant stream of high-energy babies radiating uniformly from every direction in space.

Not some kind of thermal radiation emitted by babies what the fuck are you smoking
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pscottdv
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Re: 1650 "Baby"

Postby pscottdv » Fri Mar 04, 2016 2:03 pm UTC

I usually hold out my fist for the knuckle bump for a second and then ask, "Dude, you gonna leave me hangin'?" At which point the parent has the option of lifting the baby's tiny arm and completing the knuckle bump, or not. Either way you can put your fist down having completed your side of the interaction.

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Re: 1650 "Baby"

Postby ijuin » Fri Mar 04, 2016 3:12 pm UTC

I do something a little similar. If it seems like the parents are not bothered by my touching their baby, then I try to shake hands with the baby.

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Pfhorrest
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Re: 1650 "Baby"

Postby Pfhorrest » Fri Mar 04, 2016 5:39 pm UTC

I can't recall the last time someone introduced me to a baby, but I imagine I would just give the baby the same "Hi [name]" I give most strangers I'm introduced to and then let them (the baby in this case) take it from there if they want.
Forrest Cameranesi, Geek of All Trades
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dsigned
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Re: 1650 "Baby"

Postby dsigned » Sat Mar 05, 2016 3:39 am UTC

You could remark about how they are basically like a self-assembling AI...that always goes over well.

SuicideJunkie
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Re: 1650 "Baby"

Postby SuicideJunkie » Mon Mar 07, 2016 3:44 pm UTC

Pfhorrest wrote:I think you all misunderstood.
Cosmic Baby Radiation is the constant stream of high-energy babies radiating uniformly from every direction in space.
Not some kind of thermal radiation emitted by babies what the fuck are you smoking
It should be noted that while the Babies started out with lots of energy, they lose it over the years due to the expansion of space. The primordial babies you can observe today have very low energy, except for the occasional BINGO fluctuations.

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Quizatzhaderac
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Re: 1650 "Baby"

Postby Quizatzhaderac » Mon Mar 07, 2016 6:55 pm UTC

Pfhorrest wrote:Cosmic Baby Radiation is the constant stream of high-energy babies radiating uniformly from every direction in space.
Which also explains where the first babies came from.
The thing about recursion problems is that they tend to contain other recursion problems.

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Re: 1650 "Baby"

Postby commodorejohn » Tue Mar 08, 2016 1:57 am UTC

As you know, all babies originated in a Big Bang.
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Soupspoon
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Re: 1650 "Baby"

Postby Soupspoon » Tue Mar 08, 2016 9:33 am UTC

commodorejohn wrote:As you know, all babies originated in a Big Bang.

When a mummy universe and a daddy universe love each other very much...1


(1 Actually, I'm very tempted to believe that this is not far from the Ultimate Truth, but that's getting into the realms of hypertheoretical cosmology, or maybe should remain as speculative fiction...)

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Re: 1650 "Baby"

Postby rmsgrey » Tue Mar 08, 2016 12:57 pm UTC

Soupspoon wrote:
commodorejohn wrote:As you know, all babies originated in a Big Bang.

When a mummy universe and a daddy universe love each other very much...1


(1 Actually, I'm very tempted to believe that this is not far from the Ultimate Truth, but that's getting into the realms of hypertheoretical cosmology, or maybe should remain as speculative fiction...)


I thought universes reproduced by parthogenesis?

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Soupspoon
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Re: 1650 "Baby"

Postby Soupspoon » Tue Mar 08, 2016 1:39 pm UTC

rmsgrey wrote:I thought universes reproduced by parthogenesis?
They can, thanks to the W and Z bosons, but it's not an ideal process, except when forced to in starting a new subset population of universes from a single isolated Island Universe.

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Quizatzhaderac
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Re: 1650 "Baby"

Postby Quizatzhaderac » Tue Mar 08, 2016 2:10 pm UTC

commodorejohn wrote:As you know, all babies originated in a Big Bang.
The same one?
The thing about recursion problems is that they tend to contain other recursion problems.

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SDK
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Re: 1650 "Baby"

Postby SDK » Tue Mar 08, 2016 4:24 pm UTC

Similar, though some are bigger than others.
The biggest number (63 quintillion googols in debt)


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