1660: "Captain Speaking"

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1660: "Captain Speaking"

Postby Linux0s » Fri Mar 25, 2016 12:18 pm UTC

Image

Title Text: Oh dang, you have to pay? Hey, has anyone else paid already? If so, can I borrow your phone for a sec?

"Cool, can you take the wheel? I hafta pee."
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Re: 1660: "Captain Speaking"

Postby flicky1991 » Fri Mar 25, 2016 12:29 pm UTC

This is Captain Speaking, your captain, speaking.
any pronouns
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Re: 1660: "Captain Speaking"

Postby da Doctah » Fri Mar 25, 2016 12:36 pm UTC

Old Carnak joke:

A: "Dr Livingstone I Presume."
Q: "What is Doctor Presume's full name?"

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Re: 1660: "Captain Speaking"

Postby Neil_Boekend » Fri Mar 25, 2016 12:55 pm UTC

Those are the worst hangovers.
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

patzer's signature wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:I'm being quoted too much!

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Re: 1660: "Captain Speaking"

Postby yakkoTDI » Fri Mar 25, 2016 12:57 pm UTC

At least he knew what kind of plane it was. When this happened to me I couldn't even tell it was a 787. The passengers that survived were such whiners. It is not like I killed everyone.

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Re: 1660: "Captain Speaking"

Postby HES » Fri Mar 25, 2016 1:15 pm UTC

I got really confused as to why there was a new comic on Saturday. I'm still not used to bank holidays.

Maybe the pilot thought it was the weekend too?
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Re: 1660: "Captain Speaking"

Postby flicky1991 » Fri Mar 25, 2016 1:16 pm UTC

HES wrote:I got really confused as to why there was a new comic on Saturday. I'm still not used to bank holidays.

I've had the whole week off work. I don't know what day it is any more.
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Re: 1660: "Captain Speaking"

Postby MuEta » Fri Mar 25, 2016 1:50 pm UTC

flicky1991 wrote:
HES wrote:I got really confused as to why there was a new comic on Saturday. I'm still not used to bank holidays.

I've had the whole week off work. I don't know what day it is any more.


I got back from Vegas 3 days ago, and I'm on my 3rd Monday of the week. I didn't realize that the unending hangover was a thing.

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Re: 1660: "Captain Speaking"

Postby rmsgrey » Fri Mar 25, 2016 3:50 pm UTC

Which is why the cost of in-flight wi-fi should be included in the standard ticket price! :P

Though presumably the bandwidth of in-flight internet (if any) is still significantly lower than that of filling the cargo hold with hard drives...

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Re: 1660: "Captain Speaking"

Postby HES » Fri Mar 25, 2016 4:13 pm UTC

...Or microSD cards.
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Re: 1660: "Captain Speaking"

Postby Soupspoon » Fri Mar 25, 2016 4:44 pm UTC

But, in either case, the latency of the link available to the 'pilot' in this comic won't exactly help if the flight-information data connection is reliant upon said transfer method, I assume by lifting up a floor hatch and choosing one of the data-drives in the hold to add the page-request to, once it gets to the destination.

(If the plane is made to fly faster, the data will get there faster... but the pilot will only find out approximately the same time after landing at what airport he ought to have landed... Never mind the possibly inconvenient delay in obtaining perhaps the next bit of vital information needed.)

Other than that, a flawless plan!

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Re: 1660: "Captain Speaking"

Postby hamjudo » Fri Mar 25, 2016 5:06 pm UTC

Historically, after a pilot announces the wrong destination airport or otherwise suggests destination confusion, the passengers react badly, and a flight attendant notifies the flight crew.

But, there is no humor that way. On the other hand, the flight attendants usually offer free drinks, so it has its benefits.

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Re: 1660: "Captain Speaking"

Postby Mikeski » Fri Mar 25, 2016 7:54 pm UTC

I didn't know the "Welcome to Cleveland" guy has a brother who was a pilot...

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Re: 1660: "Captain Speaking"

Postby Showsni » Sat Mar 26, 2016 10:54 pm UTC

Hm, now I kind of want a Müllerice.

British readers can probably follow the tangle of my logic...

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Re: 1660: "Captain Speaking"

Postby Samik » Sun Mar 27, 2016 9:02 am UTC

flicky1991 wrote:This is Captain Speaking, your captain, speaking.

I always say that if my last name had been "Lee", I would have joined the military and done everything in my power to become a General.

Then, whenever I answered the phone, I would say, with very ambiguous cadence/tones, "General Lee speaking", in an attempt to create misunderstanding.

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Re: 1660: "Captain Speaking"

Postby Mikeski » Sun Mar 27, 2016 9:09 pm UTC

Samik wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:This is Captain Speaking, your captain, speaking.

I always say that if my last name had been "Lee", I would have joined the military and done everything in my power to become a General.

Then, whenever I answered the phone, I would say, with very ambiguous cadence/tones, "General Lee speaking", in an attempt to create misunderstanding.

Unfortunately, a General would probably not be allowed to shave a "01" into the sides of his high-and-tight.

The USS Zumwalt is commanded by a Captain James Kirk. Maybe he'll be in a position to command the next USS Enterprise, which is supposed to roll float off the line in 2025-2027...

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Re: 1660: "Captain Speaking"

Postby Soupspoon » Sun Mar 27, 2016 10:07 pm UTC

Mikeski wrote:
Samik wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:This is Captain Speaking, your captain, speaking.

I always say that if my last name had been "Lee", I would have joined the military and done everything in my power to become a General.

Then, whenever I answered the phone, I would say, with very ambiguous cadence/tones, "General Lee speaking", in an attempt to create misunderstanding.

Unfortunately, a General would probably not be allowed to shave a "01" into the sides of his high-and-tight.
Or, probably, do any orange-dying.

The USS Zumwalt is commanded by a Captain James Kirk. Maybe he'll be in a position to command the next USS Enterprise, which is supposed to roll float off the line in 2025-2027...
First you ought to find a genre-blind Christopher Pike, in the service, to command it before him. (If you can also find a Robert April, as a further precursor, someone probably needs to have a quiet chat with the Department of Temporal Investigations...)

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Re: 1660: "Captain Speaking"

Postby CharlieP » Tue Mar 29, 2016 7:50 am UTC

Mikeski wrote:The USS Zumwalt is commanded by a Captain James Kirk. Maybe he'll be in a position to command the next USS Enterprise, which is supposed to roll float off the line in 2025-2027...


Unfortunately he won't. This Captain Kirk is a Surface Warfare Officer, but to be eligible to drive an aircraft carrier you need to have spent your career driving (or at least sitting in) aircraft. (US Code 5942, apparently).
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Re: 1660: "Captain Speaking"

Postby jrogers » Tue Mar 29, 2016 11:01 am UTC

yakkoTDI wrote:At least he knew what kind of plane it was. When this happened to me I couldn't even tell it was a 787. The passengers that survived were such whiners. It is not like I killed everyone.


It may be "some kind of of Boeing" but it's definitely not a 787, which doesn't have such prominent winglets. It may be a 737.

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Re: 1660: "Captain Speaking"

Postby CharlieP » Tue Mar 29, 2016 11:45 am UTC

It must take quite a high level of self-esteem to not know where you are but instantly determine that you're the captain.
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Re: 1660: "Captain Speaking"

Postby rmsgrey » Tue Mar 29, 2016 3:09 pm UTC

CharlieP wrote:It must take quite a high level of self-esteem to not know where you are but instantly determine that you're the captain.


Sounds like an episode of Quantum Leap...

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Re: 1660: "Captain Speaking"

Postby Soupspoon » Tue Mar 29, 2016 3:15 pm UTC

CharlieP wrote:It must take quite a high level of self-esteem to not know where you are but instantly determine that you're the captain.

Or someone with the surname Heisenberg..?

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Re: 1660: "Captain Speaking"

Postby ps.02 » Tue Mar 29, 2016 3:52 pm UTC

So Captain Oveur asks everyone for a wifi password in order to find out where they're going instead of, I dunno, just asking everyone where they're going? I guess this is like turning on the TV to check whether it's raining outside.

Also, is there no copilot? Is that not a thing anymore?

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Re: 1660: "Captain Speaking"

Postby Soupspoon » Tue Mar 29, 2016 8:24 pm UTC

ps.02 wrote:I guess this is like turning on the TV to check whether it's raining outside.
I prefer the traditional method. You go into the forest after a storm and find a freshly fallen branch from a tree that has been growing for at least 30 years. You strip it of its bark and whittle it down to a roughly square cross-section. Treat it with preservative, paint it green (doesn't matter which precise shade or hue, as long as it's more green than yellow or blue) and then carefully apply three layers of varnish so that it's smooth to the touch and not tacky. Then, when you want to know if it's raining or not you open the window and stick it outside for between forty-nine and fifty-four seconds. If, when you bring it back inside, it is wet then there's a good chance that it's raining.

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Re: 1660: "Captain Speaking"

Postby Carnildo » Wed Mar 30, 2016 7:30 am UTC

jrogers wrote:
yakkoTDI wrote:At least he knew what kind of plane it was. When this happened to me I couldn't even tell it was a 787. The passengers that survived were such whiners. It is not like I killed everyone.


It may be "some kind of of Boeing" but it's definitely not a 787, which doesn't have such prominent winglets. It may be a 737.


Based on a close look at the tail and this Aviation.se question, it's probably an Airbus A330, as the only two-engine plane with both a long section of empennage behind the tailplane and large wingtip fences.

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Re: 1660: "Captain Speaking"

Postby Znirk » Thu Mar 31, 2016 12:17 pm UTC

CharlieP wrote:It must take quite a high level of self-esteem to not know where you are but instantly determine that you're the captain.

On the other hand it would take quite a bit of confusion to miss that you're sitting in the left-hand seat of the pointy end.

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Re: 1660: "Captain Speaking"

Postby Echo244 » Thu Mar 31, 2016 12:46 pm UTC

Znirk wrote:
CharlieP wrote:It must take quite a high level of self-esteem to not know where you are but instantly determine that you're the captain.

On the other hand it would take quite a bit of confusion to miss that you're sitting in the left-hand seat of the pointy end.

Doesn't necessarily make you the captain... ;-P

Mind you, could you not pick this information up from uniform/some sort of ID?
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