1681: "Laser Products"

[gmalivuk]

ERRORS: HAIR JAM. COLOR-SAFE CONDITIONER CARTRIDGE RUNNING LOW. LEGAL-SIZE HAIR TRAY EMPTY, USING LETTER-SIZE HAIR ONLY.

At least the laser hair printer automatically picks a different size hair to use. I get so fed up with the ones that just stop and wait for you to refresh the size they've decided you need, even if you're perfectly happy to use letter-size hair.

[HES]

One star. Not compatible with ISO hair sizes.

[cellocgw]

I checked in with Mr. OCD and he says the columns need to be swapped so that the maximum star-squares are all along the diagonal.

Then I realized that if you do that, you've found the EigenVector for this parameter space.

[AlfaLyr]

Well, a laser-printed eye can be cool for Halloween...

[flicky1991]

I checked in with Mr. OCD and he says the columns need to be swapped so that the maximum star-squares are all along the diagonal.

But the maximum-star squares aren't funny ones! You have to end on a punchline!

[Soupspoon]

[bibliography][/bibliography]

I checked in with Mr. OCD and he says the columns need to be swapped so that the maximum star-squares are all along the diagonal.

But the maximum-star squares aren't funny ones! You have to end on a punchline!

How about the anti-diagonal?

ETA: For the same final punchline, printer bottom, hair to right. This requires removal at left, jet to top, and centre/centre is eye surgery.

[flicky1991]

I checked in with Mr. OCD and he says the columns need to be swapped so that the maximum star-squares are all along the diagonal.

But the maximum-star squares aren't funny ones! You have to end on a punchline!

How about the anti-diagonal?

I feel like starting with a more "normal" one makes more sense, though. I'm actually most satisfied by the arrangement that's in the comic.

[deskjethp]

Laser jet printer eh?

I, deskjethp, have no bias about this kind of thing whatsoever.

Seriously, though. We should replace lawnmowers with laser grass cutters.

[Eternal Density]

Well this is timely.
Get Out Of My Hair, Randall!

[eidako]

lp0 on fire

[Echo244]

...but if I get some freshly printed laser hair, from a print job that didn't jam, and weave it into my normal hair, I'll be able to blast things with my ponytail?

[Soupspoon]

...but if I get some freshly printed laser hair, from a print job that didn't jam, and weave it into my normal hair, I'll be able to blast things with my ponytail?

Can't you do that already?

I can. Although not with my head-hair, admitedly.

(Also, http://www.yorkshirehairreplacementclin ... retention/ http://www.blueshairworkshop.co.uk/lase ... storation/ https://www.theradome.com/page/homepage and http://www.suneticslasers.com are fairly easily found with a bit of <insertSearchEngineHere>-Fu, and are rather interesting to see. Although I make no comment on their respective veracities.)

[Himself]

Isn't laser jet removal already in development?

[chridd]

I checked in with Mr. OCD and he says the columns need to be swapped so that the maximum star-squares are all along the diagonal.

But the maximum-star squares aren't funny ones! You have to end on a punchline!

How about the anti-diagonal?

ETA: For the same final punchline, printer bottom, hair to right. This requires removal at left, jet to top, and centre/centre is eye surgery.

Here. Now you can choose which order to put everything in.

[Heimhenge]

Well this is an interesting development in the "hair removal" category ...

https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/the- ... -shaving#/

I'd buy one if Skarp ever makes it to production. My only question is whether it would work on my dog.

[ThemePark]

Well this is an interesting development in the "hair removal" category ...

https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/the- ... -shaving#/

I'd buy one if Skarp ever makes it to production. My only question is whether it would work on my dog.

With a company name like that, they sure aren't kidding about it being a close shave!

[CharlieBing]

Just saw on Dezeen that MIT can 3D print fur. Can the world get any weirder at all?

[ManaUser]

Well this is an interesting development in the "hair removal" category ...

https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/the- ... -shaving#/

I'd buy one if Skarp ever makes it to production. My only question is whether it would work on my dog.

This isn't funny or anything, but they had their (very successful) kickstarter canceled for failure to demonstrate the product worked. And their claims sound very suspect to me, the month-long battery life for instance.

[yakkoTDI]

...but if I get some freshly printed laser hair, from a print job that didn't jam, and weave it into my normal hair, I'll be able to blast things with my ponytail?

Can't you do that already?

I can. Although not with my head-hair, admitedly.

Pics or Ban!

[Heimhenge]

Well this is an interesting development in the "hair removal" category ...

https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/the- ... -shaving#/

I'd buy one if Skarp ever makes it to production. My only question is whether it would work on my dog.

This isn't funny or anything, but they had their (very successful) kickstarter canceled for failure to demonstrate the product worked. And their claims sound very suspect to me, the month-long battery life for instance.

Yeah, I read about that KickStarter controversy. No idea about the battery life question. But their claim of tuning the laser to a chromophore in human hair makes total sense to me. I would love to ditch my current razor.

[CharlieBing]

Just saw on Dezeen that MIT can 3D print fur. Can the world get any weirder at all?

Not sure if I can post URLs but maybe I can:

http://www.dezeen.com/2016/05/16/mit-re ... nted-hair/

[eidako]

Just saw on Dezeen that MIT can 3D print fur. Can the world get any weirder at all?

Just imagine the next wave of furry-fandom silicone dragon (redacted)s with REALISTIC HAIR. Or maybe even print-it-yourself fursuits.

...you can remove your eyes, but sadly you cannot remove the things you have already seen.

[da Doctah]

Just saw on Dezeen that MIT can 3D print fur.

Dude just keeps on reinventing himself!

[CharonPDX]

Isn't laser jet removal already in development?

Even better, it's laser rocket removal!

That said, laser eye printing would be an awesome thing for the treatment of blindness-by-physical-eye-damage!

[The Moomin]

The matrix could be expanded to included laser-nipple-porn.
I don't know if it is a real proper actual thing, but I remember someone tweeting pictures of it.
Laser nipple surgery and removal could totally be actual things.

[gcgcgcgc]

What's worse is printing your hair in landscape instead of portrait. Now it's all down one side of my face.

[Eternal Density]

Today, laser hair removal would have been useful. Now I'd like laser hair printing, but a wig is fine too.

The matrix could be expanded to included laser-nipple-porn.
I don't know if it is a real proper actual thing, but I remember someone tweeting pictures of it.
Laser nipple surgery and removal could totally be actual things.

That also gives us laser-eye-porn, laser-jet-porn, laser-hair-porn, but not laser-printer-porn.

[orthogon]

Today, laser hair removal would have been useful. Now I'd like laser hair printing, but a wig is fine too.

The matrix could be expanded to included laser-nipple-porn.
I don't know if it is a real proper actual thing, but I remember someone tweeting pictures of it.
Laser nipple surgery and removal could totally be actual things.

That also gives us laser-eye-porn, laser-jet-porn, laser-hair-porn, but not laser-printer-porn.

Surely it follows from Rule 34 that the "porn" column is fully populated?

[The Moomin]

Today, laser hair removal would have been useful. Now I'd like laser hair printing, but a wig is fine too.

The matrix could be expanded to included laser-nipple-porn.
I don't know if it is a real proper actual thing, but I remember someone tweeting pictures of it.
Laser nipple surgery and removal could totally be actual things.

That also gives us laser-eye-porn, laser-jet-porn, laser-hair-porn, but not laser-printer-porn.

Surely it follows from Rule 34 that the "porn" column is fully populated?

I thought they were supposed to use some form of preventative method to stop overpopulating?

[Flumble]

Today, laser hair removal would have been useful. Now I'd like laser hair printing, but a wig is fine too.

The matrix could be expanded to included laser-nipple-porn.
I don't know if it is a real proper actual thing, but I remember someone tweeting pictures of it.
Laser nipple surgery and removal could totally be actual things.

That also gives us laser-eye-porn, laser-jet-porn, laser-hair-porn, but not laser-printer-porn.

Surely it follows from Rule 34 that the "porn" column is fully populated?

I thought they were supposed to use some form of preventative method to stop overpopulating?

There's no such thing as "too much porn".

[TrueNarnian]

If you're not sure how to read the panels for maximum comedic enjoyment, I recommend most to fewest stars.