1769: "Never seen Star Wars"

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1769: "Never seen Star Wars"

Postby Eutychus » Wed Dec 07, 2016 6:17 am UTC

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We didn't have a TV when I grew up, and primary school lunch talk was all about whatever had been on TV the night before. I felt so left out of the conversation that I eventually tried making up details with at least some likelihood of being in the show to make it seem like I had. And got called on it immediately. I'm conflicted about whether I missed having a TV or not, though.
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Re: 1769: "Never seen Star Wars"

Postby deskjethp » Wed Dec 07, 2016 6:21 am UTC

Happy to chime in on this one since I've never seen it either!

So don't go spreading spoilers around this thread

Funny thing is that everyone who knows me thinks I've seen them and am a big fan. Haven't read all the LOTR yet either and people think I'm an expert at that too.
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Re: 1769: "Never seen Star Wars"

Postby rhomboidal » Wed Dec 07, 2016 6:31 am UTC

Darth Vader is the Gargamel of the Galaxy.

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Re: 1769: "Never seen Star Wars"

Postby chenille » Wed Dec 07, 2016 6:34 am UTC

I can relate for many things other than Star Wars...but at the same time, making the guy refusing to try something the more reasonable one seems really off-xkcd. I guess "hooray for friendship!" was only for indulging friends about a sport you know you don't enjoy, not giving something they think you might enjoy a chance?

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Re: 1769: "Never seen Star Wars"

Postby flicky1991 » Wed Dec 07, 2016 6:39 am UTC

chenille wrote:making the guy refusing to try something the more reasonable one

I don't think he's refusing to try it, he just happens to not have seen it. Not going out of his way to watch something is quite different from refusing to watch it.
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Re: 1769: "Never seen Star Wars"

Postby Plasma Mongoose » Wed Dec 07, 2016 6:51 am UTC

rhomboidal wrote:Darth Vader is the Gargamel of the Galaxy.


So does that make Princess Leia Smurfette then?
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Re: 1769: "Never seen Star Wars"

Postby commodorejohn » Wed Dec 07, 2016 7:55 am UTC

This is just beyond comprehension to me.

On the other hand, I've never seen a single episode of Seinfeld and only one of The Simpsons, so there's that.
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Re: 1769: "Never seen Star Wars"

Postby ThemePark » Wed Dec 07, 2016 8:00 am UTC

I...I am not ALONE! :shock:
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Re: 1769: "Never seen Star Wars"

Postby da Doctah » Wed Dec 07, 2016 8:18 am UTC

If you haven't seen Star Wars, you find yourself forced to smile and nod whenever anyone says:

  • Aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?
  • That's no moon!
  • You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.
  • I've got a very bad feeling about this.
  • I find your lack of faith...disturbing.
  • It's a trap!
  • Do. Or do not. There is no try.
  • These aren't the droids you're looking for.
  • I have altered our agreement. Pray I do not alter it further.

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Re: 1769: "Never seen Star Wars"

Postby Wee Red Bird » Wed Dec 07, 2016 8:23 am UTC

chenille wrote:I can relate for many things other than Star Wars...but at the same time, making the guy refusing to try something the more reasonable one seems really off-xkcd. I guess "hooray for friendship!" was only for indulging friends about a sport you know you don't enjoy, not giving something they think you might enjoy a chance?

So I have to listen to incessant sport related talk almost constantly on the off chance that someone will listen to my hobby on the very rare occasion I bring it up.

Typical conversations around the office:
Two co-workers turn up and start talking: "Did you see the football* last night?" "Yea, abysmal display from the reds. The blues sported much harder than them#." "No the reds were sporting hard, but they didn't sport smart enough."
Then a third co-worker arrives: "Did you see the football* last night?" "Yea, abysmal display from the reds..."
Repeat till the office fills up, your sanity slips and you miss deadlines because you cannot concentrate for the constant talk about people kicking a sack of air around.

* Soccer to everyone over in 'merca
# Perhaps not word for word

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Re: 1769: "Never seen Star Wars"

Postby orthogon » Wed Dec 07, 2016 9:28 am UTC

da Doctah wrote:If you haven't seen Star Wars, you find yourself forced to smile and nod whenever anyone says:

  • Aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?
  • That's no moon!
  • You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.
  • I've got a very bad feeling about this.
  • I find your lack of faith...disturbing.
  • It's a trap!
  • Do. Or do not. There is no try.
  • These aren't the droids you're looking for.
  • I have altered our agreement. Pray I do not alter it further.


Well, except that many of them make sense in a standalone way, and others have entered the language in a similar way to the many phrases that were coined by Shakespeare. And as for "It's a trap", I suggest the phrase had been used somewhat before Star Wars. I'd assume you were joking, except that #1, #2 and #8 really do need a bit of context.
xtifr wrote:... and orthogon merely sounds undecided.

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Re: 1769: "Never seen Star Wars"

Postby speising » Wed Dec 07, 2016 9:51 am UTC

'member star wars?

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Re: 1769: "Never seen Star Wars"

Postby Sableagle » Wed Dec 07, 2016 9:58 am UTC

Wee Red Bird wrote:
chenille wrote:I can relate for many things other than Star Wars...but at the same time, making the guy refusing to try something the more reasonable one seems really off-xkcd. I guess "hooray for friendship!" was only for indulging friends about a sport you know you don't enjoy, not giving something they think you might enjoy a chance?

So I have to listen to incessant sport related talk almost constantly on the off chance that someone will listen to my hobby on the very rare occasion I bring it up.

Typical conversations around the office:
Two co-workers turn up and start talking: "Did you see the football* last night?" "Yea, abysmal display from the reds. The blues sported much harder than them#." "No the reds were sporting hard, but they didn't sport smart enough."
Then a third co-worker arrives: "Did you see the football* last night?" "Yea, abysmal display from the reds..."
Repeat till the office fills up, your sanity slips and you miss deadlines because you cannot concentrate for the constant talk about people kicking a sack of air around.

* Soccer to everyone over in 'merca
# Perhaps not word for word

Through persistence, I have slowly made it locally socially acceptable to express an absence of interest in twenty-two foreigners kicking an artificial pig-bladder around a plastic lawn. It's taken years.
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Re: 1769: "Never seen Star Wars"

Postby sketchesofpayne » Wed Dec 07, 2016 10:19 am UTC

Yeah, why bother experiencing an aspect of the shared cultural lexicon. It's not like it might be enjoyable or anything.

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Re: 1769: "Never seen Star Wars"

Postby orthogon » Wed Dec 07, 2016 10:54 am UTC

I like the phrase "it was quite literally the default option". You don't do something unless you do it, and Cue simply hasn't seen Star Wars. There are so wonderfully many things to do in the world that most people will have missed out some of them. I've never seen 2001: ASO, I hadn't been to Scotland until I was in my 20s, and Ireland until my 30s; first ate an oyster in my 30s; first rode a horse at 35; despite snorkelling all my life I didn't try scuba diving until this year (43 y.o.). Sometimes you don't do things for entirely contingent or arbitrary reasons.

Having said that, there's a phenomenon with movies and TV shows in particular, whereby if you don't see it when it first comes out, you develop a kind of resistance. You've heard too much about it; the jokes don't seem very funny; it just doesn't appeal. You can even start to feel excluded, even though all you need to do is surf it up on Netflix or whatever. Monty Python and the Holy Grail was like this for me. I couldn't for the life of me see what was so funny about the Knights of Ni, having heard it parroted non-stop for years. And yet, once I finally got around to watching it, I nearly suffocated with laughter at that bit.

ETA: In this spirit, there's actually a BBC Radio 4 programme called I've Never Seen Star Wars, in which people do fairly common things for the first time.
xtifr wrote:... and orthogon merely sounds undecided.

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Re: 1769: "Never seen Star Wars"

Postby @maniexx » Wed Dec 07, 2016 10:57 am UTC

I've just recently seen the 4th part, first I've seen ever. Wow the special effects are bad. But the story actually drew me in, I will probably watch the rest at some point. And everybody always assumes I know all those movies, even after I tell the I didn't multiple times.
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Re: 1769: "Never seen Star Wars"

Postby Flumble » Wed Dec 07, 2016 1:02 pm UTC

I can relate to cueball up until the "Later..." part. Why would you pretend to know something?

Also, why would you pretend to be excited for such a bland blockbuster? :?

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Re: 1769: "Never seen Star Wars"

Postby Wee Red Bird » Wed Dec 07, 2016 1:22 pm UTC

Sableagle wrote:Through persistence, I have slowly made it locally socially acceptable to express an absence of interest in twenty-two foreigners kicking an artificial pig-bladder around a plastic lawn. It's taken years.

For the sake of trying to fit in, I have tried to watch it. I have sat with friends in the pub and even watched matches from the cold of the stadium. I understand all the rules (including that offside one) but still, it is just so boring. I might as well watch a pinball machine being played by a random stranger.
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Re: 1769: "Never seen Star Wars"

Postby lange17 » Wed Dec 07, 2016 1:33 pm UTC

The conversation at the lunch table in fourth grade was RELENTLESSLY about Nintendo, and particularly the Legend of Zelda. I didn't have a Nintendo because, as I like to say with some degree of truth, my parents didn't love me enough to get me one. It was absolutely miserable being constantly left out of the conversation day after day after day after day.

So one evening, I had to tag along as one of my parents attended the PTA meeting. While there, I ran into some kid I had never met, who naturally wanted to talk about the Legend of Zelda. But wait! This guy didn't know me. I could pretend to know all about Zelda and be a normal kid for once! So when he asked whether I played it, I said "Yes!" I can't quote the conversation, but it ended up with me claiming to know about some secret shortcut to some cave where some sword was held on some level and yadayadayada... the further it went, the more questions he asked I couldn't answer, until finally he knew I was a fraud.

So... I feel you, characters.

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Re: 1769: "Never seen Star Wars"

Postby Locoluis » Wed Dec 07, 2016 2:00 pm UTC

I've only seen The Original Trilogy. Long before I owned my first computer. While I still had time to watch TV instead of pursuing personal projects. Also, probably too young to actually understand it. I was never a big fan of movies and TV anyway, though I loved cartoons and anime like every other kid, and I've also enjoyed some action movies like Lethal Weapon and Danny the Dog.

I don't mind spoilers, because most of the time I don't expect to have time to watch that show everyone is talking about. I remember when everyone was hooked on Lost and I've only seen the memes. When they all spoke about that stuff, I just listened respectfully.

I've also been on the other side of the discussion, when I attempted to chat with English speakers about old anime shows like Heidi, Girl of the Alps, that were insanely popular in Latin America but haven't seen a decent English dub...
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Re: 1769: "Never seen Star Wars"

Postby Isaac Hill » Wed Dec 07, 2016 2:00 pm UTC

I've never seen Star Wars, either. I plan to avoid seeing it, because some of the reactions I get when I tell people are more entertaining than any movie is going to be. One guy put his palms on his forehead and leaned back and forth rapidly a couple times, like he was trying to headdesk, but we were standing and there was no furniture nearby. Have you ever seen someone get upset in those Taiwanese CGI news animations that Conan used to riff on? It was the closest thing to that that I'll ever see in real life.

On friend in college insisted on showing me right then and there. But, as a broke college student in 1997, his TV was a 13" black and white set. I watched a few seconds, and couldn't tell if I was looking at desert or tundra. Even if the movie is as good as many claim, this seemed like the wrong way to experience an epic adventure, so I left.

Between MAD Magazine, Spaceballs, Weird Al, Robot Chicken, and that scene in Clerks about the moral culpability of contractors, I'm pretty sure I've got the jist. I do own Star Wars merchandise, since I bought a large bag of LEGO at a second hand store, which turned out to contain several complete Star Wars sets.
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Re: 1769: "Never seen Star Wars"

Postby cellocgw » Wed Dec 07, 2016 2:04 pm UTC

deskjethp wrote:Happy to chime in on this one since I've never seen it either!

So don't go spreading spoilers around this thread



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Re: 1769: "Never seen Star Wars"

Postby cellocgw » Wed Dec 07, 2016 2:11 pm UTC

Starting a list of other movies you might assume everyone's seen but they haven't and don't care:

Napoleon Dynamite
Eight and a Half
Treasure of Sierra Madre
Dr. Strangelove
Ghost Busters
Metropolis
Dirty Harry
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Re: 1769: "Never seen Star Wars"

Postby Sableagle » Wed Dec 07, 2016 2:18 pm UTC

The Dark Knight, Batman Begins, The Dark Knight Rises, The Dark Knight Falls, Batman the Dark Knight, Batman Returns, Batman Forever, Bride of Batman, Batman and Robin in the Twenty-Third Century, Batman and Son, The Joker Chronicles and Darkness of the Knight.

Actually, I have seen The Dark Knight. I was on a plane with nothing better to do so I watched that and Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation. I believe I've already complained about them both having a soundtrack at 150dB at dialogue at 15dB. Also they were shit. That one with the suit with nipples, though? Nope. Not seen, not interested. I was offered some of them on DVD for free recently and declined because fuck that.
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Re: 1769: "Never seen Star Wars"

Postby SecondTalon » Wed Dec 07, 2016 2:31 pm UTC

Wee Red Bird wrote:
chenille wrote:I can relate for many things other than Star Wars...but at the same time, making the guy refusing to try something the more reasonable one seems really off-xkcd. I guess "hooray for friendship!" was only for indulging friends about a sport you know you don't enjoy, not giving something they think you might enjoy a chance?

So I have to listen to incessant sport related talk almost constantly on the off chance that someone will listen to my hobby on the very rare occasion I bring it up.

Typical conversations around the office:
Two co-workers turn up and start talking: "Did you see the football* last night?" "Yea, abysmal display from the reds. The blues sported much harder than them#." "No the reds were sporting hard, but they didn't sport smart enough."
Then a third co-worker arrives: "Did you see the football* last night?" "Yea, abysmal display from the reds..."
Repeat till the office fills up, your sanity slips and you miss deadlines because you cannot concentrate for the constant talk about people kicking a sack of air around.

* Soccer to everyone over in 'merca
# Perhaps not word for word


The thing about Arsenal is that they always try to walk it in.
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Re: 1769: "Never seen Star Wars"

Postby cellocgw » Wed Dec 07, 2016 2:35 pm UTC

SecondTalon wrote:
The thing about Arsenal is that they always try to walk it in.


First time got my boot on the ball, it was in the back of the net!
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Re: 1769: "Never seen Star Wars"

Postby Wee Red Bird » Wed Dec 07, 2016 2:46 pm UTC

SecondTalon wrote:The thing about Arsenal is that they always try to walk it in.

Hooray. He's kicked the ball. Now the ball's over there. That man has it now. That's an interesting development. Maybe he'll kick the ball. He has indeed and apparently that deserves a round of applause.

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Re: 1769: "Never seen Star Wars"

Postby moody7277 » Wed Dec 07, 2016 3:01 pm UTC

cellocgw wrote:Starting a list of other movies you might assume everyone's seen but they haven't and don't care:

Napoleon Dynamite
Eight and a Half
Treasure of Sierra Madre
Dr. Strangelove
Ghost Busters
Metropolis
Dirty Harry


Someone not having seen The Princess Bride is inconceivable.
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Re: 1769: "Never seen Star Wars"

Postby Steve the Pocket » Wed Dec 07, 2016 3:05 pm UTC

Who would you say is worse off, the guy who's never seen [insanely popular thing] or the guy who has seen it and doesn't know what the fuss is all about?

Isaac Hill wrote:Have you ever seen someone get upset in those Taiwanese CGI news animations that Conan used to riff on? It was the closest thing to that that I'll ever see in real life.

I haven't, actually, and now I'm intrigued.
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Re: 1769: "Never seen Star Wars"

Postby Wee Red Bird » Wed Dec 07, 2016 3:34 pm UTC

Reminds me of the old Green Eggs and Ham.
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Re: 1769: "Never seen Star Wars"

Postby PracticalM » Wed Dec 07, 2016 3:49 pm UTC

Wee Red Bird wrote:Typical conversations around the office:
Two co-workers turn up and start talking: "Did you see the football* last night?" "Yea, abysmal display from the reds. The blues sported much harder than them#." "No the reds were sporting hard, but they didn't sport smart enough."
Then a third co-worker arrives: "Did you see the football* last night?" "Yea, abysmal display from the reds..."
Repeat till the office fills up, your sanity slips and you miss deadlines because you cannot concentrate for the constant talk about people kicking a sack of air around.

* Soccer to everyone over in 'merca
# Perhaps not word for word


Reminds me of Garfunkel and Oates, "Sports Go Sports" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2fraSdN-PG8
I finally broke down in one office and joined the football (american) pool having no real interest in the game but winning at least one week. Yay for upsets.

I used to follow baseball a lot more closely but now that more people are interested in their own fantasy teams than the actual home team, I don't find it as interesting. I don't want to hear your gaming stories, I have my own thank you.
Same with watching twitch gaming feeds or esports. I don't have the time to do my own gaming let alone watching a bunch of people do their gaming.

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Re: 1769: "Never seen Star Wars"

Postby The Devils Engineer » Wed Dec 07, 2016 5:07 pm UTC

orthogon wrote: I've never seen 2001: ASO


I know I'm going start trouble here, but here goes. I would highly recommend that you see 2001: A Space Odyssey very much. But see it on a very large screen TV or projection screen in a darkened room. It's just not the same in a brightly lit room and small screen. Why do I recommend seeing it? It is, hands down, the most influential Science Fiction movie every made. Sci Fi movies are divided into two classes. Those that came before 2001 and those that came after. 2001 put science fiction on the Movie map as being a respectable form. Is it a bit weird? Oh yes. But the effects still hold up well after all this time. Just my 2c.
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Re: 1769: "Never seen Star Wars"

Postby commodorejohn » Wed Dec 07, 2016 5:20 pm UTC

Locoluis wrote:I've also been on the other side of the discussion, when I attempted to chat with English speakers about old anime shows like Heidi, Girl of the Alps, that were insanely popular in Latin America but haven't seen a decent English dub...

Hah, oh man. Around here stuff like that is kind of the exact inverse - things you've entirely forgotten about until somebody else mentions it out of the blue and it's "wait, you have seen that!?" I spent the longest time having vague memories about some cartoon about a girl and her stuffed koala bear that I was only half sure I'd actually seen and not hallucinated until somebody else on a forum brought up Noozles decades after the fact.
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Re: 1769: "Never seen Star Wars"

Postby jgh » Wed Dec 07, 2016 5:27 pm UTC

I get this with early/mid-80s computer games ("Chuckie Egg or Stryker's Run? Which one?" Well, neither, I'm not a games person, I'm a programmer) and railways ("So, the 60052 restoration, great eh?" Dunno, I'm interested in *railways*, not trains.)

Tho' I did give in and took my nephew to the National Railway Museum last week, and the raw engineering is awesome.

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Re: 1769: "Never seen Star Wars"

Postby somitomi » Wed Dec 07, 2016 5:32 pm UTC

deskjethp wrote:Happy to chime in on this one since I've never seen it either!

So don't go spreading spoilers around this thread

Funny thing is that everyone who knows me thinks I've seen them and am a big fan. Haven't read all the LOTR yet either and people think I'm an expert at that too.

The worst thing about Star Wats for me is that by the time I decided to watch it, the big twist has been already spoiled for me. Simply because you somehow can't avoid this sentence (especially on the internet):
Spoiler:
"Luke, I am your father."

And that's not even what Darth Vader actually says in that scene :evil:

^that's a genuine spoiler if you have never heard anything about Star Wars and have lived under a rock in the Australian Outback up to at least a week ago.
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Re: 1769: "Never seen Star Wars"

Postby SecondTalon » Wed Dec 07, 2016 5:59 pm UTC

Of course, if you watch them in numeric order it's more "Oh, right. He wouldn't know that, would he? Still kinda weird that R2 never mentioned Luke's dad before, or being on Tatooine, or how those rocket jets woulda been fuckin' useful as fuck in, like, 80 situations. Man, R2 is an asshole"
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orthogon
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Re: 1769: "Never seen Star Wars"

Postby orthogon » Wed Dec 07, 2016 6:01 pm UTC

jgh wrote:railways ("So, the 60052 restoration, great eh?" Dunno, I'm interested in *railways*, not trains.)

I'm probably misunderstanding your distinction, but maybe this is similar to what I get with music. I've heard fellow sax players going on at length about their Selmer Mark VI with the double-balanced action, and my reaction is that I'm interested in playing jazz, not saxophones. Or they'll know all these stories about the jazz greats, when I'm interested in music, not musicians. I don't mean to sound superior here: as an instrumentalist I really ought to know more about the instrument; and I'm sure I'd appreciate the music more if I knew more about the people who made it. I just don't find that stuff interesting or easy to absorb like other people seem to.
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Re: 1769: "Never seen Star Wars"

Postby ThemePark » Wed Dec 07, 2016 6:01 pm UTC

orthogon wrote:
da Doctah wrote:If you haven't seen Star Wars, you find yourself forced to smile and nod whenever anyone says:

  • Aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?
  • That's no moon!
  • You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.
  • I've got a very bad feeling about this.
  • I find your lack of faith...disturbing.
  • It's a trap!
  • Do. Or do not. There is no try.
  • These aren't the droids you're looking for.
  • I have altered our agreement. Pray I do not alter it further.


Well, except that many of them make sense in a standalone way, and others have entered the language in a similar way to the many phrases that were coined by Shakespeare. And as for "It's a trap", I suggest the phrase had been used somewhat before Star Wars. I'd assume you were joking, except that #1, #2 and #8 really do need a bit of context.

Yup. I know #2, #5, #6, #7 and #8 despite never having seen it, because they're a part of popular culture and because they're impossible to avoid if you actually watch TV, what with the many shows who make Star Wars spoofs, like Family Guy.

As for the rest I haven't heard them before, but #1 would obviously be from there, it's hard not to have heard about storm troopers. And like somitomi, I of course know that plot twist, again because it's been used so often on other TV shows that it's impossible not to know of it.
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Re: 1769: "Never seen Star Wars"

Postby commodorejohn » Wed Dec 07, 2016 6:02 pm UTC

SecondTalon wrote:Of course, if you watch them in numeric order it's more "Oh, right. He wouldn't know that, would he?"

Yeah, that's a bit of an awkward changeup. I did like the solution I read about where some guy took his kids through in the order of I-II-IV-V-III-VI, but I've always found it simpler to just ignore the Prequels.
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Re: 1769: "Never seen Star Wars"

Postby Yet-One-More-Idiot » Wed Dec 07, 2016 6:22 pm UTC

I'm another one who's never seen Star Wars. Everybody I know is well aware of this fact and occasionally tells me how they feel I should probably watch them some time. People who don't know me are instantly shocked to hear this little piece of news, on the other hand, and insist that I watch it at the first possible convenient moment.

Another reason a lot of people are surprised that I've never seen them is because generally I like science-fiction. I'm first and foremost a lifelong Doctor Who fan (in a family of fellow Whovians); I'm also a fan of all Star Trek (although I still have yet to see DS9 all the way through, or any of Enterprise xD I do own them on DVD and plan to watch them someday though, when I have time). I love Stargate too. And Red Dwarf (though that's less SF and more sitcom-in-space).

There are in fact a good many movies that people assume I should have seen or would want to see, but neither have nor want to. A short list of the ones that draw most surprise when mentioned are:

Star Wars (naturally)
Indiana Jones
James Bond. Any of them. (It's literally like the same film about 30 times, isn't it? :P)
Lord of the Rings. And The Hobbit. (Mostly 'cos I love Narnia...but I can't stand Middle Earth. Sorry, waaaaaaay to long xD)
The Alien series (again, just because I'm an SF fan)

On the other hand, one SF movie I particularly enjoyed watching just last year was Fritz Lang's Metropolis (1927). So there's that. :)


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