1843: "Opening Crawl"

This forum is for the individual discussion thread that goes with each new comic.

Moderators: Moderators General, Prelates, Magistrates

jozwa
Posts: 143
Joined: Fri Sep 11, 2009 3:16 pm UTC
Location: Finland

1843: "Opening Crawl"

Postby jozwa » Mon May 29, 2017 2:09 pm UTC

Image
Title text: "Using a classic Timothy Zahn EU/Legends novel is bad enough, but at least the style and setting aren't too far off. If you really want to mess with people, try using Splinter of the Mind's Eye."

Bonus points if you just put the music on a crude loop.

User avatar
Soupspoon
You have done something you shouldn't. Or are about to.
Posts: 4060
Joined: Thu Jan 28, 2016 7:00 pm UTC
Location: 53-1

Re: 1843: "Opening Crawl"

Postby Soupspoon » Mon May 29, 2017 2:31 pm UTC

But do they notice the point where it changes to Fifty Shades Of Grey?

Mikeski
Posts: 1094
Joined: Sun Jan 13, 2008 7:24 am UTC
Location: Minnesota, USA

Re: 1843: "Opening Crawl"

Postby Mikeski » Mon May 29, 2017 2:37 pm UTC

Soupspoon wrote:But do they notice the point where it changes to Fifty Shades Of Grey?

Of course. The darker shades are hard to read on that black background.

User avatar
orthogon
Posts: 3057
Joined: Thu May 17, 2012 7:52 am UTC
Location: The Airy 1830 ellipsoid

Re: 1843: "Opening Crawl"

Postby orthogon » Mon May 29, 2017 3:33 pm UTC

There ought to be a property of multiline textboxes that makes them work like this.
xtifr wrote:... and orthogon merely sounds undecided.

fibonacci
Posts: 59
Joined: Mon Jul 09, 2007 8:37 pm UTC

Re: 1843: "Opening Crawl"

Postby fibonacci » Mon May 29, 2017 4:59 pm UTC

<openingcrawl>A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away....</openingcrawl>

User avatar
Soupspoon
You have done something you shouldn't. Or are about to.
Posts: 4060
Joined: Thu Jan 28, 2016 7:00 pm UTC
Location: 53-1

Re: 1843: "Opening Crawl"

Postby Soupspoon » Mon May 29, 2017 7:40 pm UTC

fibonacci wrote:<openingcrawl>A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away....</openingcrawl>

Unless there's good reasons otherwise, better the empty-tag version, I think...

Code: Select all

<openingcrawl href="ftp://ftp.sourcesite.tld/pub/star_wars/ep3.txt" speed="justslightlytoofasttoread" />

rmsgrey
Posts: 3616
Joined: Wed Nov 16, 2011 6:35 pm UTC

Re: 1843: "Opening Crawl"

Postby rmsgrey » Mon May 29, 2017 9:23 pm UTC

Soupspoon wrote:
fibonacci wrote:<openingcrawl>A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away....</openingcrawl>

Unless there's good reasons otherwise, better the empty-tag version, I think...

Code: Select all

<openingcrawl href="ftp://ftp.sourcesite.tld/pub/star_wars/ep3.txt" speed="justslightlytoofasttoread" />


I think you'll find that the default speed tag is "justslightlytoofasttoreadcomfortably" - a subtly different speed.

User avatar
Soupspoon
You have done something you shouldn't. Or are about to.
Posts: 4060
Joined: Thu Jan 28, 2016 7:00 pm UTC
Location: 53-1

Re: 1843: "Opening Crawl"

Postby Soupspoon » Mon May 29, 2017 10:21 pm UTC

And, being default, best omitted. ;)

Unless you're re-overriding a CSS, at whatever level, but then that presupposes it's respecified as '… style="speed: FOO ! important;" …' or similar, if not just better class-control somewhere in whatever spaghettified nested/serial stylesheeting.

Spoiler:
((Less facetiously, but maybe not less of a timewaster even whilst more on-topic than the above, I sort of assume that everyone here has telnetted Blinkenlights, already? Or found something similar...))

Justin Lardinois
Posts: 56
Joined: Wed Aug 26, 2015 4:47 pm UTC

Re: 1843: "Opening Crawl"

Postby Justin Lardinois » Tue May 30, 2017 3:35 am UTC

Always cool to see a rare Splinter of the Mind's Eye mention.

User avatar
chridd
Has a vermicelli title
Posts: 839
Joined: Tue Aug 19, 2008 10:07 am UTC
Location: ...Earth, I guess?
Contact:

Re: 1843: "Opening Crawl"

Postby chridd » Tue May 30, 2017 4:16 am UTC

Soupspoon wrote:
Spoiler:
((Less facetiously, but maybe not less of a timewaster even whilst more on-topic than the above, I sort of assume that everyone here has telnetted Blinkenlights, already? Or found something similar...))
Open the Start menu, type cmd, and press Enter.
What kind of system do they think I'm using, anyways? ☺
(And no, I hadn't seen that.)
~ chri d. d. /tʃɹɪ.di.di/ (Phonotactics, schmphonotactics) · she · Forum game scores
mittfh wrote:I wish this post was very quotable...

User avatar
Copper Bezel
Posts: 2426
Joined: Wed Oct 12, 2011 6:35 am UTC
Location: Web exclusive!

Re: 1843: "Opening Crawl"

Postby Copper Bezel » Tue May 30, 2017 4:32 am UTC

If I press Super, type cmd, and press Enter, I do get a terminal. Though I suppose they did specify the "Start menu". And I would then need to install telnet things to actually do anything from there.
So much depends upon a red wheel barrow (>= XXII) but it is not going to be installed.

she / her / her

User avatar
Soupspoon
You have done something you shouldn't. Or are about to.
Posts: 4060
Joined: Thu Jan 28, 2016 7:00 pm UTC
Location: 53-1

Re: 1843: "Opening Crawl"

Postby Soupspoon » Tue May 30, 2017 6:12 am UTC

If your system can't be persuaded to unhide its telnet capability (instructions as given for Win10 are translatable to other Wins>XP) or it cannot even get a decent version/analogue from a repository (like this here Android), then you've got an OS that I'm not familiar with. Try the .nz site I also linked, which may or may not be the exact same content but probably does it in any browser this side of Lynx... ;)

(In writing and re-writing this post, I researched all the little reasons why telnet became disabled in Windows, and appreciate the various "the less low-hanging fruit there are, the better" reasons, but the ineffectuality plus inconvenience of the default policy annoys me. Typical Microsoft with the same flawed UAC approach to security.)

User avatar
Copper Bezel
Posts: 2426
Joined: Wed Oct 12, 2011 6:35 am UTC
Location: Web exclusive!

Re: 1843: "Opening Crawl"

Postby Copper Bezel » Tue May 30, 2017 11:12 am UTC

Oh, I wasn't trying and failing to follow the instructions, I was just dorking about the so-obvious-it's-unstated assumption of Windows. And yeah, I misread something about [my generic desktop Linux system] not coming with a telnet server by default as referring to the client. Having actually now tried it, the instructions written for Windows do actually work when I follow them literally, +/- a s/Start/Activities/ .

And yes, I clicked your other link and was watching the madness beforehand. = ] It does look like a true labor of love, and that's wholly separate from my amusement at the article's stylistic choices.

As for telnet itself - yeah, I can see why it's kept available, as well as the motivation not to enable it by default, and yet the latter is very indirect as a security concern, since it's the presence of the server and not the client that actually makes an individual machine less secure, but the presence of the one naturally encourages the use of the other somewhere. I also have to wonder whether and where it is that telnet is actually still being used in the real world, such that there even are these Android and iOS clients for it and things; they can't all be just for kicks, can they?
So much depends upon a red wheel barrow (>= XXII) but it is not going to be installed.

she / her / her

User avatar
Soupspoon
You have done something you shouldn't. Or are about to.
Posts: 4060
Joined: Thu Jan 28, 2016 7:00 pm UTC
Location: 53-1

Re: 1843: "Opening Crawl"

Postby Soupspoon » Tue May 30, 2017 12:57 pm UTC

Telnet is very important in the Movie industry. You have to generate on-screen rubbish that looks technical, especially hexadecimalised dumps of COMMAND.COM somehow coming from a <FOO>shell-prompted system, in response to some analogue of a whizkid guess of a password (that handily stays unasterisked on screen, and/or read out by a voice actor layer credited as the Mainframe) and then a typed or spoken command "search for Secret Plans". (If typed, bonus points for no key presses even matching what appears on screen, even assuming intentionally misleading keyboard tops....)

Though, these days, you're slightly more likely to get a bespoke graphical UI (if it's an alleged biotech firm, remember to put rotating double-helices as side decorations, something else industry specific or otherwise maybe a tumbling wireframe 'net' of random points to indicate that it's a network) and then get a terminal window spawning with any and all text guff you can shove through it.

Then you phase the whole screen to a waterfall-effect for either successfully in-deep Matricity, if the heroes are in control, or at the instigation of either protagonists or (possibly AIed) antagonist when you get to the plot-point at which the terminal and its connected system you're using gets hit by the logic bomb that actualy expends precious CPU cycles on often rendering the BigBadCompany logo in ASCII art across the whole screen (obscuring the terminal window, the retrieved document scanmimages, hacked camera feeds, osciloscopic rendering of Mainframe's voice) with a fire-effect graphical wash integrated to signify the resulting data devastation.


Seriously, though, I probably gave you one of the big two reasons for me to still use it, i.e. "telnet http://www.dodgyserver.cz 80", or 8080 or 8000 or..., then something like "GET /shared/docs/banknamelogin.html HTTP/1.1 <enter><enter>" (then again with a HOST: line, etc), to check what trouble I could get into without actually doing so. The other reason is to check basic connectivity to legitimate places that I'm having trouble with on the browser end but not with ping or tracert. But it's rare. Others may find it necessary for their own bare minimum connectivity needs, although shouldn't use it in place of anything that should better be sshed into, etc.

I used to MUD a lot via raw telnet, but I wouldn't recommend that, these days. Something like MUSHClient just has far more advantages even than the more general purpose (secure) login 'shells'.

But, despite everything, you can only rip the telnet from my cold, dead hands. When I need to use it, I know I need to use it. And when not to.

User avatar
cellocgw
Posts: 2043
Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2008 7:40 pm UTC

Re: 1843: "Opening Crawl"

Postby cellocgw » Tue May 30, 2017 1:53 pm UTC

Someone probably has already written a plug-in for MicrosoftWord to make documents look like that :P

Or at least a simple (!!) text -viewer.
https://app.box.com/witthoftresume
Former OTTer
Vote cellocgw for President 2020. #ScienceintheWhiteHouse http://cellocgw.wordpress.com
"The Planck length is 3.81779e-33 picas." -- keithl
" Earth weighs almost exactly π milliJupiters" -- what-if #146, note 7

User avatar
Copper Bezel
Posts: 2426
Joined: Wed Oct 12, 2011 6:35 am UTC
Location: Web exclusive!

Re: 1843: "Opening Crawl"

Postby Copper Bezel » Tue May 30, 2017 5:15 pm UTC

Soupspoon wrote:Seriously, though, I probably gave you one of the big two reasons for me to still use it, i.e. "telnet http://www.dodgyserver.cz 80", or 8080 or 8000 or..., then something like "GET /shared/docs/banknamelogin.html HTTP/1.1 <enter><enter>" (then again with a HOST: line, etc), to check what trouble I could get into without actually doing so. The other reason is to check basic connectivity to legitimate places that I'm having trouble with on the browser end but not with ping or tracert. But it's rare. Others may find it necessary for their own bare minimum connectivity needs, although shouldn't use it in place of anything that should better be sshed into, etc.

Ah, I see! That makes a fair bit of sense then. I didn't realize that was a thing. Something I'll have to play with myself, because it seems like very good stuff to know about! Thanks!
So much depends upon a red wheel barrow (>= XXII) but it is not going to be installed.

she / her / her

User avatar
timrem
Posts: 25
Joined: Fri Mar 23, 2012 7:02 am UTC

Re: 1843: "Opening Crawl"

Postby timrem » Tue May 30, 2017 8:53 pm UTC

cellocgw wrote:Someone probably has already written a plug-in for MicrosoftWord to make documents look like that :P

Or at least a simple (!!) text -viewer.


There are certainly a few websites that generate a crawl from user text.

My preferred one is https://brorlandi.github.io/StarWarsInt ... zh3qewBwpU

User avatar
PM 2Ring
Posts: 3701
Joined: Mon Jan 26, 2009 3:19 pm UTC
Location: Sydney, Australia

Re: 1843: "Opening Crawl"

Postby PM 2Ring » Thu Jun 01, 2017 1:17 pm UTC

Soupspoon wrote:Seriously, though, I probably gave you one of the big two reasons for me to still use it, i.e. "telnet http://www.dodgyserver.cz 80", or 8080 or 8000 or..., then something like "GET /shared/docs/banknamelogin.html HTTP/1.1 <enter><enter>" (then again with a HOST: line, etc), to check what trouble I could get into without actually doing so. The other reason is to check basic connectivity to legitimate places that I'm having trouble with on the browser end but not with ping or tracert. But it's rare. Others may find it necessary for their own bare minimum connectivity needs, although shouldn't use it in place of anything that should better be sshed into, etc.


You could use netcat... But I agree that it can be fun to play with telnet. It can be interesting to telnet into a modem / router and explore the tiny Linux that it runs on. If you remember the old Bastard Operator From Hell you may enjoy telnetting (or netcatting) to 'bofh.jeffballard.us' on port 666. FWIW, here's a one-line Python telnet client that accesses that server:

Code: Select all

python -c "import telnetlib; print(telnetlib.Telnet('bofh.jeffballard.us', 666).read_all().decode())"

That Python code runs on both Python 2 & Python 3.

User avatar
orthogon
Posts: 3057
Joined: Thu May 17, 2012 7:52 am UTC
Location: The Airy 1830 ellipsoid

Re: 1843: "Opening Crawl"

Postby orthogon » Thu Jun 01, 2017 2:57 pm UTC

PM 2Ring wrote:You could use netcat...

I remember that our corporate standard virus checker considered netcat absolutely verboten and would quarantine it instantly. That was extremely annoying. Maybe I've been reading too much Bruce Schneier lately, but it reminds me of airline security that confiscates your nail clippers but gives you back your cigarette lighter and wishes you a good flight.
xtifr wrote:... and orthogon merely sounds undecided.

wolfticket
Posts: 40
Joined: Mon Sep 08, 2008 6:32 pm UTC

Re: 1843: "Opening Crawl"

Postby wolfticket » Thu Jun 01, 2017 6:21 pm UTC

See how long Star Wars fans will watch normal credits with rapt interest before they realise the projectionist has forgotten to turn on keystone correction


Return to “Individual XKCD Comic Threads”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: mscha and 93 guests