The Scorpions sang: "If someone wants to cut you down to size, you never argue with a loaded .45," but you can if you're half a mile away with a loaded .338 LM, can't you? Likewise, "You can't argue with a shotgun" applies even to the guy with the pistol but not to the one in an APC with a belt-fed turret-gun. A 4-inch naval gun beats any of them (seriously, a 4.0 calibre!) but you wouldn't want to use it here
. That one's a job for a friend with a shotgun
off to your right: 12-bore #4 buckshot and aim for his thumb.
What if the fight is over water?
Not the Battle of Midway. I mean two villages / extended families fighting over access to a 1 l/min trickle of water. If your style of "bringing water to" a fight is to build a 10 l/s water main out to them, I could call that the ultimate weapon: both sides stopped fighting, both sides now love you, zero casualties. It's like getting everyone as allies with "locked teams" off and "allied victory" on then building a Wonder of the World in Age of Conquerors: everyone wins!
My brother would disagree. He doesn't call that a win, because if you do that you haven't beaten
anyone. We have different approaches to games, he and I. I tried to get "Bridge over trebled water" for one player at a time and found out it's all or none so tried again and again until we got the whole group onto the chopper in time. He got it by running ahead, sniping his team-mates and leaving all alone. His one complaint about Kerbal Space Program was that it wouldn't let him invade new players' game worlds and blow up their space centres. He is not named in my will.
Another missing line and column: pillow, pillow-fight. I'd quite like to bring Kat from Sequential Art
to a pillow-fight ...
... or a garden party ... or an open-air opera ... or a friend's wedding ... or a ski resort ...
Should you bring skis to a knife fight? They're not really meant for fighting but they've got reach.Don't bring a bouquet of flowers to a gunfight
Bringing the BFG to a ski resort: also not recommended
Oh, Willie McBride, it was all done in vain.