2086: "History Department"

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Justin Lardinois
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2086: "History Department"

Postby Justin Lardinois » Mon Dec 17, 2018 9:27 pm UTC

Image

Title text: When we take into account the recent discovery of previously-unstudied history in the 1750s, this year may have been an outright loss.

Why were shipwrecks so common back then?

qvxb
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Re: 2086: "History Department"

Postby qvxb » Mon Dec 17, 2018 9:57 pm UTC

Historians should fall behind to preserve their mental well being.

As D. P. Leitch wrote in 1968,

Histories of ages past
Unenlightened shadows cast
Down through all eternity
The crying of humanity

Imagine if the historians were up to date.

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Soupspoon
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Re: 2086: "History Department"

Postby Soupspoon » Mon Dec 17, 2018 10:23 pm UTC

What we need is to have a year when nothing happens. Or else one big thing that is an open-and-shut subject.

Let's see… hmmm… *riffles through diaries* …how does 2023 suit everybody?

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Flumble
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Re: 2086: "History Department"

Postby Flumble » Tue Dec 18, 2018 12:25 am UTC

Sorry, I'm planning for world domination in 10 easy steps years, so I'd really like 2023 to destroy conquer liberate the eastern-most parts of Africa and most of the Middle East. Or, if I'm behind schedule in South America the year before, I'll really need 2023 to continue campaigning there.

What's happened in 2018 anyway?

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Soupspoon
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Re: 2086: "History Department"

Postby Soupspoon » Tue Dec 18, 2018 1:00 am UTC

Randall exposed the scandalous inefficiency of History Departments, for a start. 17/Dec/2018. A day that will be recorded in the annals of infamy by… someone. Probably. Maybe. After we fire the current lot and get a new set trained up, surely…

Mikeski
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Re: 2086: "History Department"

Postby Mikeski » Tue Dec 18, 2018 2:07 am UTC

Soupspoon wrote:What we need is to have a year when nothing happens.


They tried that back in 1752; took a week or so off in September.

They're still behind.

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eviloatmeal
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Re: 2086: "History Department"

Postby eviloatmeal » Tue Dec 18, 2018 7:14 am UTC

We need a feature freeze on history. Don't make any changes to your life until this revision goes gold.
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Riddles are abound tonightImage

LtPowers
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Re: 2086: "History Department"

Postby LtPowers » Tue Dec 18, 2018 1:57 pm UTC

May 16, 2001, was fairly uneventful, but it must have taken some extensive research to prove that definitively.


Powers &8^]

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orthogon
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Re: 2086: "History Department"

Postby orthogon » Tue Dec 18, 2018 3:28 pm UTC

LtPowers wrote:May 16, 2001, was fairly uneventful, but it must have taken some extensive research to prove that definitively.


Powers &8^]

We have a reliable source that nothing happened on 18th April 1930, either.
xtifr wrote:... and orthogon merely sounds undecided.

TheEngineer
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Re: 2086: "History Department"

Postby TheEngineer » Tue Dec 18, 2018 3:34 pm UTC

LtPowers wrote:May 16, 2001, was fairly uneventful, but it must have taken some extensive research to prove that definitively.


Powers &8^]


On Good Friday 1930, the BBC reported that there was "no news" in it's bulletin and played music instead.

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Locoluis
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Re: 2086: "History Department"

Postby Locoluis » Tue Dec 18, 2018 3:44 pm UTC

History of History Departments and their Achievements
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ijuin
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Re: 2086: "History Department"

Postby ijuin » Tue Dec 18, 2018 3:53 pm UTC

Obviously, in order to catch up, we need to quadruple the staff of our history departments.

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Soupspoon
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Re: 2086: "History Department"

Postby Soupspoon » Tue Dec 18, 2018 5:09 pm UTC

That would be a historic development!

speising
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Re: 2086: "History Department"

Postby speising » Tue Dec 18, 2018 5:13 pm UTC

Soupspoon wrote:That would be a historic development!

leave that problem to future generations.

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da Doctah
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Re: 2086: "History Department"

Postby da Doctah » Tue Dec 18, 2018 7:03 pm UTC

TheEngineer wrote:
LtPowers wrote:May 16, 2001, was fairly uneventful, but it must have taken some extensive research to prove that definitively.


Powers &8^]


On Good Friday 1930, the BBC reported that there was "no news" in it's bulletin and played music instead.


And on July 4th, 1776, George III made an entry in his diary that "nothing of importance happened today".

ijuin
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Re: 2086: "History Department"

Postby ijuin » Tue Dec 18, 2018 9:05 pm UTC

Given the slowness of transatlantic communications at the time, it was September before anybody in Britain knew about what happened in the American colonies on 4 July 1776.

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GlassHouses
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Re: 2086: "History Department"

Postby GlassHouses » Wed Dec 19, 2018 1:16 am UTC

LtPowers wrote:May 16, 2001, was fairly uneventful, but it must have taken some extensive research to prove that definitively.


Powers &8^]

Mulholland Drive premiered at the Cannes Film Festival? Sorry, that was clearly not an uneventful day. Try again. :D

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da Doctah
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Re: 2086: "History Department"

Postby da Doctah » Wed Dec 19, 2018 6:21 am UTC

ijuin wrote:Given the slowness of transatlantic communications at the time, it was September before anybody in Britain knew about what happened in the American colonies on 4 July 1776.


And the situation persisted. The most famous battle of the War of 1812 was fought after the Treaty of Ghent ended the war itself.

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pkcommando
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Re: 2086: "History Department"

Postby pkcommando » Wed Dec 19, 2018 12:47 pm UTC

Flumble wrote:What's happened in 2018 anyway?

You know, stuff. The usual.

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orthogon
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Re: 2086: "History Department"

Postby orthogon » Wed Dec 19, 2018 4:24 pm UTC

TheEngineer wrote:
LtPowers wrote:May 16, 2001, was fairly uneventful, but it must have taken some extensive research to prove that definitively.


Powers &8^]


On Good Friday 1930, the BBC reported that there was "no news" in it's bulletin and played music instead.

That was indeed what I was referring to, but the BBC article doesn't actually mention that it was Good Friday; strangely, nor do I recall that being mentioned any of the many times I've heard the story. That puts the whole thing in a completely different context, especially considering the greater observance of Christian holy days at the time. Even today things are surprisingly quiet on the Easter bank holidays. And whilst no news organisation these days would state that there was "no news to report", in practice the bulletins next Tuesday are likely to lead with pointless "stories" like "People around the world have been celebrating Christmas Day" and "The Queen has given her annual Christmas Day speech". Opinion is divided, but when the thing that you were 99.9999% sure was going to happen, happens, that's not news. Dog bites man, and all that. It's News if Her Maj decides to sod the speech and goes down the pub instead.
xtifr wrote:... and orthogon merely sounds undecided.

J%r
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Re: 2086: "History Department"

Postby J%r » Thu Dec 20, 2018 12:17 am UTC

If they've covered everything until the Jurassic period then they're 99.96% done.

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SuicideJunkie
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Re: 2086: "History Department"

Postby SuicideJunkie » Thu Dec 20, 2018 7:41 am UTC

I've seen that progress bar.
Eventually the estimate gives up and says -2147483648 seconds remaining.

rmsgrey
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Re: 2086: "History Department"

Postby rmsgrey » Thu Dec 20, 2018 12:07 pm UTC

J%r wrote:If they've covered everything until the Jurassic period then they're 99.96% done.


Last I checked, everything before the invention of record-keeping gets passed off to other departments under the heading "pre-history".

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GlassHouses
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Re: 2086: "History Department"

Postby GlassHouses » Fri Dec 21, 2018 6:31 pm UTC

orthogon wrote:when the thing that you were 99.9999% sure was going to happen, happens, that's not news. Dog bites man, and all that. It's News if Her Maj decides to sod the speech and goes down the pub instead.

True, but if you're setting aside 30 minutes a day for broadcasting the news, and there is no news, you're going to use filler, and on days where it's expected there will be no news, you might as well prepare that filler beforehand. You'll still have the broadcast, just in case some sneaky bastard decides to use a "guaranteed no-news day" to pull off something you really do want to report (Tet Offensive, Boxing Day Earthquake & Tsunami, etc.).


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