0087: "Velociraptors"

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Which are you watching for?

Zombies
92
36%
Velociraptors
164
64%
 
Total votes: 256

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0087: "Velociraptors"

Postby Dialect Army » Sun Sep 23, 2007 6:03 am UTC

Really?

Nevermind velociraptors, I size up buildings for defensibility against the inevitable zombie outbreak. YMMV.

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Postby Green9090 » Sun Sep 23, 2007 7:06 am UTC

This seems very much not what this section is for. I'd put it in General if I were you.

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Postby Bakemaster » Sun Sep 23, 2007 3:30 pm UTC

But... they move really really slowly.

And what Green said.
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Postby apricity » Sun Sep 23, 2007 5:08 pm UTC

There's no official discussion for this comic that I see, so I'd say it can stay. I changed the subject to reflect that.
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Postby arachnophilia » Sun Sep 23, 2007 10:04 pm UTC

zombies.

i have several species of deinonychosaurian dinosaurs that currently live in my backyard, and they're all small and harmless. even so, velociraptor itself was fairly small, size of a big chicken. while it could probably take on prey my size, i'm not sure how will it fair against prey my size armed with a shovel.

however, i actually have plans for the coming zombie apocalypse. and they involve super walmart.

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Postby UmbralRaptor » Sun Sep 23, 2007 11:40 pm UTC

Zombies. Why should I attack my small feathered cousins?
Why do you assume that I exist?

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Postby poconut » Mon Sep 24, 2007 3:22 am UTC

Zombies.
I consider myself a zombie sentry. When they come, I'll be ready.
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Postby Jach » Mon Sep 24, 2007 5:51 am UTC

Both.
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Postby ouin » Mon Sep 24, 2007 6:36 am UTC

Velociraptors!

Zombies doesn't even exist!
Have you ever seen a scientific paper speaking about zombies?

Just before coming here, I was reading this article: Feathered Velociraptor?.

Make your opinion and prepare for the battle!

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Postby Daniel » Mon Sep 24, 2007 7:06 am UTC

Excuse me, but I think that the larger threat of zombie velociraptors is being ignored! And what about radioactive ninja robot zombie velociraptors? They are real, I swear!

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Postby Jivlain » Mon Sep 24, 2007 9:31 am UTC

Personally, I must admit it was t-rexes that had me worried for a few years after Jurassic Park, but it's always the sneaky little devils that get you in the end.

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Postby User? What User? » Mon Sep 24, 2007 9:51 am UTC

How is this a choice? I'm mortally afeared of both in equal amounts. My only hope is that Raptors and Zombies don't team up or we're all screwed!!
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Postby ouin » Mon Sep 24, 2007 10:21 am UTC

Hey,
What about teaming up with zombies for killing Raptors?

Then we could kill Zombies.
They are slows and can't even reproduce themselves!

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Postby Maurog » Mon Sep 24, 2007 10:32 am UTC

What do you mean they can't reproduce themselves? I was under the impression that if they bite you, you become one.
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Postby 6453893 » Mon Sep 24, 2007 3:06 pm UTC

I heard they had definitive proof that the entire raptor family had feathers, establishing an evolutionary link to modern birds.

Does that make raptors less scary or birds more scary?

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Postby muteKi » Mon Sep 24, 2007 4:56 pm UTC

Let's ask Hitchcock.


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Postby space_raptor » Mon Sep 24, 2007 5:20 pm UTC

Are you kidding me? Zombies? Zombies move slower than my dead grandmother, they're easy as pie to kill, and their idea of an attack plan is slowly walking into gunfire and samurai swords. Zombies are pathetic.

Raptors distract you from the front while the others get you from the sides. THEY CAN OPEN DOORS. They can run faster than you, jump higher than you, and slice you open quicker than you can say "Oh me yarm raptors". Then you are still alive when they stop to eat you.

You all need to show a little respect.
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Postby arachnophilia » Mon Sep 24, 2007 10:36 pm UTC

6453893 wrote:I heard they had definitive proof that the entire raptor family had feathers, establishing an evolutionary link to modern birds.

Does that make raptors less scary or birds more scary?


god, i really really hate newspapers and their sensationalism. the link between velociraptor and modern birds was known as soon as the first dinosaur of that type was found. when ostrom dug up deinonychus, it had a very avian skeleton, hollow bones, and a lot of bird-like features.

the *big* news came when it was discovered that archaeopteryx had a hyperextentable second toe, making it a dienonychosaur. meaning that archaeopteryx, "the first bird" is basically velociraptor's uncle.

this is further cemented by the presence of full flight feathers on microraptor gui, another deinonychosaur. the bizarre flight feathers on its legs can be found, in part, on archaeopteryx's legs as well, but only above the ankles and quite diminished.

the new find of quill knobs on velociraptor only confirms what we've reasonably hypothesized for a long time: that it had feathers. but the evolutionary link between birds and dinosaurs hasn't been a matter of debate for... 30 years or so? i would say 150 years (because of archaeopteryx) but the theory for whatever reason didn't become popular until the 80's.

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Postby muteKi » Tue Sep 25, 2007 1:08 am UTC

Yeah, "establishing" is probably not the best word, maybe "reaffirming" would have been better.
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Postby cephalopod9 » Tue Sep 25, 2007 4:44 am UTC

Anyone who says velociraptors are less scary with feathers was never scared by a parot as a small child.
Seriously, that's like saying zombie clowns are less scary than regular zombies.

I have to say, velociraptors are more threatening than zombies, especially if we're talking small numbers, but I'm on a college campus bordered by three cemetaries and forrest. Meaning I'm surrounded by grave yards and people between the ages of 17 and 25. If that is not a horror movie waiting to happen, I do not know what is.
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Postby Okita » Tue Sep 25, 2007 5:15 am UTC

People ask me where my feathers are and I tell them I lost them in the war.
"I may or may not be a raptor. There is no way of knowing until entering a box that I happen to be in and then letting me sunder the delicious human flesh from your body in reptile fury."

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Postby arachnophilia » Tue Sep 25, 2007 7:28 am UTC

cephalopod9 wrote:Anyone who says velociraptors are less scary with feathers was never scared by a parot as a small child.
Seriously, that's like saying zombie clowns are less scary than regular zombies.


now, those are issues.

i was once bitten by a black swan. man, did THAT hurt.

cephalopod9 wrote:I have to say, velociraptors are more threatening than zombies, especially if we're talking small numbers


velociraptors will only eat you. zombies, like communists, will make you join them.

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Postby User? What User? » Tue Sep 25, 2007 8:22 am UTC

Okita wrote:People ask me where my feathers are and I tell them I lost them in the war.


Ok, forget Zombies.... THE RAPTORS ARE HERE AND THEY ARE AMONG US!!! WEARING SUITS!!!!
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Postby Malsies » Tue Sep 25, 2007 9:53 am UTC

Psshhh. Zombies. There is no danger of an epidemic in which millions of people are turned into raptors.

Zombies don't feel pain, which makes them a lot harder to disable.

Zombies also have the advantage of being human-like. This can fuck with a person psychologically, because it's like killing actual people. You have to be a strong person to shoot your brother in the head, even if he is a zombie and you know there's no way he'll ever be the person you knew again.

The walking/running issue all depends on what zombie you're fighting. The new Dawn of the Dead zombies could run. So could the ones in 28 Days Later (which technically weren't zombies, but close e-fucking-nough). The Zombie Survival Guide says that zombies can't run or climb. I, however, am not completely discounting the idea of running, jumping zombies.

I could go on and on.
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Postby User? What User? » Tue Sep 25, 2007 12:31 pm UTC

Malsies wrote:The Zombie Survival Guide says that zombies can't run or climb.


They thought that about Daleks!
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Postby Okita » Tue Sep 25, 2007 2:49 pm UTC

Malsies wrote:Psshhh. Zombies. There is no danger of an epidemic in which millions of people are turned into raptors.


Oh man, that takes me back to when Crazy Charlie came up with The Device. He made us label it on the tax forms with capital letters too...

'Cept no one could think of a reason for having more raptors...
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Postby alexthehoopy » Tue Sep 25, 2007 4:25 pm UTC

Zombies are the real threat. Yes, they can be easily killed, but there are far too many of them. Their strength is in their numbers. And the fact that nobody actually believes in zombies until it's too late and they've overrun half the continent.
And, seriously, wouldn't you rather be killed by a raptor? Not only is it much cooler, but with raptors you STAY dead.

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Postby teucer » Tue Sep 25, 2007 5:14 pm UTC

Why is "both" not an option?

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Postby alexthehoopy » Tue Sep 25, 2007 5:23 pm UTC

teucer wrote:Why is "both" not an option?


That takes all the fun out of it.

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Postby space_raptor » Tue Sep 25, 2007 6:28 pm UTC

With raptors, you don't have time to think about whether they can fuck with your head because your intestines are all over the floor and the raptor is already chewing on your head.

With zombies, at least you can prepare when you see them coming. With raptors, if you've seen one, you are seconds away from certain death already. The only solution is to pull the pin on the grenade and take some with you, a la that dude in Aliens.

Why is "both" not an option?

Zombie raptors? Those are just a myth.
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Postby bbctol » Tue Sep 25, 2007 7:32 pm UTC

That's what they WANT you to think...

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Postby Dakman » Tue Sep 25, 2007 7:46 pm UTC

This is a tough question, I mean zombies to spread even faster than AIDS in africa, but usually only the retarded characters in movies get eaten. Velociraptors ont he other hand can run really fast, jump very high, and open doors. I am going to have to give this one to the raptors.

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Postby Ayelis » Tue Sep 25, 2007 9:18 pm UTC

But depending on how recently you died, you have varying degrees of jumping/running ability. Older zombies would just fall apart. Some zombies wouldn't be able to move due to rigor mortis. Poor zombies. I don't see why Skeletons aren't portrayed in those movies. I mean, if you've got zombies, shouldn't you have skeletons? Other then that they have no muscles and will most likely fall apart at the lightest nudge... =P

Zombie attacks really wouldn't last too long. As long as nobody was bitten, all the zombies would get Rigor Mortis in 4-12 hours, and then you go just around burning them all before the 3-day mark.

The problem with a zombie outbreak is not the zombies, it's other LIVING humans. You can't trust them. They'll get bit, and then they'll say "Oh, this? I've had this forever. It's not a zombie bite. It's a birthmark! Psh. How could you think that! A zombie bite is the last thing this could be!" and then they'll turn around and eat your brains.

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Postby Moo » Wed Sep 26, 2007 7:19 am UTC

Great, thanks a lot. After the serious internal debate, security reviews and cold hard fear brought on by this thread, I had a zombie dream last night.

Only in my weird dream society we have to recognize the rights of the zombie, and they have their own carriage in the front of the train I'm on. I discover my budget ticket is in the same carriage but after about TWO SECONDS decide to chance being found out and hastily move to the carriage behind. I find an inconspicuous corner seat where I am witness to the terrified and tearful goodbyes of the stewardesses (yes my train has stewardesses) each time one of them has to go into the front carriage, accompanied by two police men who have the coolest giant zombie-beating sticks.
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Postby frymaster » Wed Sep 26, 2007 9:04 am UTC

space_raptor wrote:Zombies move slower than my dead grandmother,


Actually, one of them is your dead grandmother

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Postby ouin » Wed Sep 26, 2007 9:18 am UTC

Maurog wrote:I was under the impression that if they bite you, you become one.

Really?
So, what about bringing our deads to a dentist?

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Postby Daniel » Wed Sep 26, 2007 3:58 pm UTC

Would zombies attack raptors? would raptors eat zombies? These issues need to be given more thought!

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Postby Okita » Wed Sep 26, 2007 4:21 pm UTC

Daniel wrote:Would zombies attack raptors? would raptors eat zombies? These issues need to be given more thought!


Dead flesh is never really tasty unless it's been preserved or cooked or something. Jerky perhaps. 'Cept that stuff always gets stuck in my teeth.
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Postby JFarceur » Thu Sep 27, 2007 12:25 am UTC

I've always been prepared for a zombie incident, and I was'nt really fearing raptors to be honest... until I accidentaly encountered one in a programmer's help files (I could get a screenshot of that).

I really should be more careful about raptors. Zombies take all my attention.
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Postby jabberwock33 » Thu Sep 27, 2007 4:27 am UTC

Don't forget to prepare for the zombified raptors.


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