0327: "Exploits of a Mom"

[Ace_NoOne]

I still don't...

Under the common first-initial-last-name username convention

Duh! I didn't make that leap.
Thanks, and my sincerest apologies for being such a dud...

[superglucose]

This particular comic takes me back to my high school days. Every day in my Networking class, half of us would play Starcraft or Counterstrike, and other half would try something like this comic to break into the network. Our teacher nearly cried most days

[ln|mower|+c]

This comic had me on the floor laughing and I can't believe I didn't wake anyone up. This comic is joining my collection of favourites which are printed out and hanging on the wall of my room.

Thank you, Randall.

[Moo]

Unfortunately, NULL <> 'NULL' in any SQL database I've seen yet...

In fact, NULL <> *anything*
Get your head around THAT one.

[yitzle]

I love this one!!
Thanks for it!

I'm not as big a fan of the alt. Its OK, but not great... I'm not sure why everyone seems to prefer the alt over the rest of it...

[sab39]

Unfortunately, NULL <> 'NULL' in any SQL database I've seen yet...

In fact, NULL <> *anything*
Get your head around THAT one.

I think jsd1982 meant that 'NULL' IS NOT NULL in every database he's encountered.

[jsd1982]

Unfortunately, NULL <> 'NULL' in any SQL database I've seen yet...

In fact, NULL <> *anything*
Get your head around THAT one.

Don't have to, it's not always true. (again for MS SQL Server 200[05])
http://msdn2.microsoft.com/en-us/library/ms188048.aspx

SET ANSI_NULLS OFF
SELECT * FROM table WHERE nullableColumn <> NULL

will return results, assuming there are potential rows available in 'table' where 'nullableColumn' has non-NULL values.

Are you sure you're not acting smug when misunderstood? That's grounds for hand-removal 'round these parts...

[jsd1982]

Unfortunately, NULL <> 'NULL' in any SQL database I've seen yet...

In fact, NULL <> *anything*
Get your head around THAT one.

I think jsd1982 meant that 'NULL' IS NOT NULL in every database he's encountered.

lol. SQL is such a hacked up language, not unlike english. That is indeed what I meant. Pointing out the string 'NULL' vs. the database concept NULL.

[genewitch]

we were kicking this joke around on thedailywtf.com last year..

Hi i'm rita want to see my cam?

Hi i'm drop database;

EOF.

[Moo]

Unfortunately, NULL <> 'NULL' in any SQL database I've seen yet...

In fact, NULL <> *anything*
Get your head around THAT one.

I think jsd1982 meant that 'NULL' IS NOT NULL in every database he's encountered.

lol. SQL is such a hacked up language, not unlike english. That is indeed what I meant. Pointing out the string 'NULL' vs. the database concept NULL.

jsd1982 and sab39: duh.
"In fact" = adding to what has already been said, not contradicting it.
Duh, duh, duh.

[SirOmega]

This comic was forwarded to the rest of my software development team.

Nice one Randall. Now where are the posters I ordered?

[jsd1982]

jsd1982 and sab39: duh.
"In fact" = adding to what has already been said, not contradicting it.
Duh, duh, duh.

I realize that, but I was telling you that you were wrong with your "in fact"ual statement. Duh.

[sab39]

I realize that, but I was telling you that you were wrong with your "in fact"ual statement. Duh.

The fact that there exist databases whose behavior is not sane is hardly news.

Last time I looked, in Oracle, '' IS NULL.

Which means that
INSERT INTO sometable (somecolumn) Values ('');
SELECT * FROM sometable WHERE somecolumn = '';
will return no rows.

[Moo]

jsd1982 and sab39: duh.
"In fact" = adding to what has already been said, not contradicting it.
Duh, duh, duh.

I realize that, but I was telling you that you were wrong with your "in fact"ual statement. Duh.

Well I think that, for the concept of null as it was originally concieved, my joke still holds. It was just a little joke, you see. But thanks for your insight

Also, I wasn't trying to be smug. See the bit where I was joking. I am upset that I may have come accross as smug.

[jsd1982]

jsd1982 and sab39: duh.
"In fact" = adding to what has already been said, not contradicting it.
Duh, duh, duh.

I realize that, but I was telling you that you were wrong with your "in fact"ual statement. Duh.

Well I think that, for the concept of null as it was originally concieved, my joke still holds. It was just a little joke, you see. But thanks for your insight

Oh I totally understand. Most jokes are based in reality and contain a little truth to them, and so when I saw your joke that didn't hold much truth (according to my experience) I figured you had some incorrect assumptions about NULLs and their behavior across all databases.

[Moo]

Oh I totally understand. Most jokes are based in reality and contain a little truth to them, and so when I saw your joke that didn't hold much truth (according to my experience) I figured you had some incorrect assumptions about NULLs and their behavior across all databases.

OracleBlog:
"Let's start with an example to demonstrate a simple property of NULL: that NULL is not equal to anything, including NULL itself."
- http://thinkoracle.blogspot.com/2005/06 ... racle.html

SQLServerCentral:
"If you recall from the original Four Rules article, the basis of ANSI SQL three-valued logic (3VL) is that NULL is not equal to anything else. It is not less than, greater than, or even unequal to anything else either. Because NULL is not an actual value, but rather a placeholder for an unknown value, all comparisons with NULL result in UNKNOWN. Even comparing a NULL to another NULL is just comparing two placeholders for unknown values, so the result again is UNKNOWN" (it does then go on to make the point that this has been bypassed in SQL Server but for general discussion my point still holds)
-http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/Advanced+Querying/2829/

Wikipedia:
"Since Null is not a member of any data domain, it is not considered a "value", but rather a marker (or placeholder) indicating the absence of value. Because of this, comparisons with Null can never result in either True or False, but always in a third logical result, Unknown"
-http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Null_%28SQL%29

databasedev.co.uk:
"Any operation that includes a null value will result in a null" (including comparison)
-http://www.databasedev.co.uk/null_values_defined.html

Oracle FAQs:
"NULL is neither equal to NULL, nor it is not equal to NULL. Any comparison to NULL is evaluated to NULL"
-http://www.orafaq.com/faq/what_is_the_result_of_comparing_null_with_null

etc etc etc
I can't remember what you said now about acting smug, but quote that.

edited because I'm finicky

[jsd1982]

You win.

[sightless]

Long-time reader, registered because of this comic.

I've wanted to make a license plate like that for a few years now, but was limited by the lack of punctuation. It would be great to hide in plain sight like that. I'm glad you found another way to do it, or, in this case, corrupt the database.

[cathrl]

I snorted tea. And I'm not even a database programmer.

If I remember right, there is/was a kids' book called "Help! I'm a prisoner in a toothpaste factory!" where he writes it in the stripe and only gets rescued when some kid decides to squirt tthe whole tube out at once so can see the whole message.

And I have to say, tesseract, your sigpicture is the best ever.

[Moo]

You win.

I like that the sort of people on this forum can say that; thank you. Also, smileys make everything ok

[jsd1982]

You win.

I like that the sort of people on this forum can say that; thank you. Also, smileys make everything ok

ROFL. I'm an easy-going guy. I could've cornered you on a dozen different interpretations of what your original quote was. The easy path is to concede, since there's no point in bringing this out any further.

For the record, I do understand what a NULL value is . I was challenging you on the syntactical usage of your <> operator and its non-deterministic behavior based on SQL Server's ANSI_NULLS switch.

I was also skooled in that I forgot that the result of a comparison operation involving a NULL evaluates to NULL, not TRUE or FALSE. One could say that this is irrelevant since a NULL comparison result usually evaluates to being ignored, essentially FALSE as far as normal boolean logic is concerned, i.e. at the native code level in the SQL server where joins are performed. Either the records match or they don't, there's no NULL about it .

[YenTheFirst]

At my sister's birthday parties, she would throw a game she called 'the name game'.

The idea was, everyone wrote down a name, handle, etc., and put the paper in a bowl.

The person running the game would read out what the names were, and the goal of the game was to guess who wrote down what name. If your name was guessed, you joined the guessers team.

At first, people just put down names from TV shows, music, anime, etc.

Eventually, however, people started injecting other things in names. like "single", "the sunshine of my life", or "a herniated disk between the 7th and 8th vertebrae".

The best name, however, came from a Little Ceaser's pizza box.
At least once a round, we got to hear someone ask
"hey [person's real name], are you 'hot-n-ready'?".

[jsd1982]

The best name, however, came from a Little Ceaser's pizza box.
At least once a round, we got to hear someone ask
"hey [person's real name], are you 'hot-n-ready'?".

English grammar injection?

[Random832]

Unfortunately, NULL <> 'NULL' in any SQL database I've seen yet...

No, but if they use Oracle, they'd get a null if you name your kid after the empty string.
'' IS NULL

[Moo]

I was challenging you on the syntactical usage of your <> operator and its non-deterministic behavior based on SQL Server's ANSI_NULLS switch.

1. Jokes are exempt from syntactical scrutiny, I decree it thus (also it was used as a follow-on from the original quote I was replying to).
2. Your argument is SQL Server-specific and mine is relevant to all relational database theory. So there. (In short, I don't use SQL Server )

And oi, that many smileys still don't make that much sarcasm better

[jsd1982]

And oi, that many smileys still don't make that much sarcasm better

I think we need a sarcasm detector.

Oh that's a REAL useful invention...

[jsd1982]

Jokes are exempt from syntactical scrutiny, I decree it thus (also it was used as a follow-on from the original quote I was replying to).

But those are the best kind! Look at that sweet ass-car, for instance. Maybe in the context of code language we can decree such a rule.

[DragonHawk]

I was also skooled in that I forgot that the result of a comparison operation involving a NULL evaluates to NULL, not TRUE or FALSE. One could say that this is irrelevant ... Either the records match or they don't, there's no NULL about it .

It's important when you're doing more than a simple equality test, though. If you're testing for "less than", how should missing data be interpreted? It's not always "just a zero". It's even worse if you try to do math or string manipulation or something. Kinda like "NaN" IEEE floating point.

SQL ain't got nothing on VB (AKA Visual Botch-It), though. In VB one has Null, Empty, and Nothing as special states, along with NUL (character) and the empty string (which is not the same as Empty). There are IsNull() and IsEmpty() for their respective states, but you have to use "Is Nothing" for the last or it'll throw an error. But "Is Empty" or "Is Null" is illegal, IIRC. Oh, and testing for equality on Empty is okay, but testing for equality on Null throws an error. Oh, and some of those are syntax errors, but others only fail when invoked. Everybody got that?

[Moo]

Maybe VB is, by my rule, exempt from syntactical scrutiny (i.e. a joke*).

*Sorry I am now explaining my jokes because I seem to be the only one who thinks they're funny. Once again the fora imitate life.

[szarka]

Oh, and the younger brother's name is probably Timmy'; sudo rm -rf / #

Maybe. But how many schools do you know that don't run on Microsoft crapware?

Come on boys, no "ultimate MILF" comment yet!?

Goes without saying, really.

[Cabhan]

This comic rocked hard. A thousand times.

[JBridge]

If a database is destroyed by someone who has changed their name in such a way, has that person broken the law? I can see ways that such a case could be argued, at least in the US, but the legal arguments could prove rather amusing and interesting. In fact, a whole host of such situations could be considered: if, for example, one changes one's name to "Fire!", and someone calls one's name in a crowded room, who is at fault?

I do recall a story about someone in an airport with the last name Gay. When he was waiting for his plane to take off, a stewardess had come to tell him to get off the plane. (he was in the wrong plane). The stewardess found someone else in the seat and asked if he was Gay. The man was in fact gay, and did not wanted to be kicked off the plane because of his sexuality. This caused other people to get angry, and I forget how it ended. I think everything was sorted out in the end, though.

[arbivark]

http://www.boingboing.net/2007/10/10/ba ... he-ge.html
this comic made boingboing, about the 10th time xkcd has done so. boingboing is the world's most linked-to blog. today's boingboing also has wil wheaton video.

[dskippy]

So hysterical. I definitely laughed out loud when I read this. My sister is pregnant. I'm going to see if I can't influence the naming.

-mike

[voodooKobra]

That is the funniest thing I have heard in a long time.

[Doctor Device]

Oh, and the younger brother's name is probably Timmy'; sudo rm -rf / #

Maybe. But how many schools do you know that don't run on Microsoft crapware?

Perhaps his name is Timmy "cmd /q del *.* /f /q"
(my syntax is probably making your eyeballs bleed, but command-lines are not my friend)

[Sprocket]

Ah, it's turning in to a classic week here at XKCD.

[Domovoi]

I do recall a story about someone in an airport with the last name Gay. When he was waiting for his plane to take off, a stewardess had come to tell him to get off the plane. (he was in the wrong plane). The stewardess found someone else in the seat and asked if he was Gay. The man was in fact gay, and did not wanted to be kicked off the plane because of his sexuality. This caused other people to get angry, and I forget how it ended. I think everything was sorted out in the end, though.

"Would Peter File please come to the information desk? Peter File, please make yourself known, we're looking for a Peter File..."

[frederific]

Awesome. Truly awesome.

Domovoi - IT Crowd?

[Domovoi]

Absolutely.