0419: "Forks and Spoons"

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Re: "Forks and Spoons" Discussion

Postby 6453893 » Mon May 05, 2008 6:30 am UTC

Growth wrote:Didn't Johnny The Homicidal Maniac already cover the "murdered by a spork" angle?


Technically, we don't know it was a spork that killed them. It could have been a sfork, or a foon, or a sporkn, or a spforoon, or any other hybrid on the fork-spoon spectrum.

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Re: "Forks and Spoons" Discussion

Postby Bluey » Mon May 05, 2008 6:38 am UTC

*evil laugh* Beware my 9/42 spoon, 33/42 fork hybrid...

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Re: "Forks and Spoons" Discussion

Postby Eldan » Mon May 05, 2008 6:40 am UTC

See, my favourite eating utensil was always the Knork. Yes, that's a knife fork.

Hey, perhaps that thing in the last panel is a Knork.

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Re: "Forks and Spoons" Discussion

Postby Robin S » Mon May 05, 2008 6:43 am UTC

6453893 wrote:
Growth wrote:Didn't Johnny The Homicidal Maniac already cover the "murdered by a spork" angle?


Technically, we don't know it was a spork that killed them. It could have been a sfork, or a foon, or a sporkn, or a spforoon, or any other hybrid on the fork-spoon spectrum.
I tend to think, in fact, that it wasn't a spork, since it was only after the hybridization programme began that disaster ensued.

Bluey wrote:*evil laugh* Beware my 9/42 spoon, 33/42 fork hybrid...
But 42 isn't a power of 2...
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Re: "Forks and Spoons" Discussion

Postby Bluey » Mon May 05, 2008 6:54 am UTC

Robin S wrote:But 42 isn't a power of 2...


Hmmm... True. Need new fork/spoon mixing technology...
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Re: "Forks and Spoons" Discussion

Postby argonaut » Mon May 05, 2008 7:08 am UTC

GodShapedBullet wrote:
Darcey wrote:
GodShapedBullet wrote:What a bold stance taken by this comic.
I thought the blending theory of inheritance was all but discredited.


Not necessarily the implication. Spooniness vs. forkishness could be determined by multiple genes, like height. When a really tall guy and a really short girl have a medium-height baby, it's not evidence for the blending theory.


True, but the data shown in the graph seems to suggest that when spoons and forks mate, they simply split the different between their spooniness and forkishness exactly.

That seems awfully blendy to me.


The researcher's assertion that *any* binary fraction of fork/spoon could be bred would imply that the fork has a genome of infinite length. This seems unlikely.

(Yes, unlikely even compared to the assertion that cutlery has a genome in the first place.)

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Re: "Forks and Spoons" Discussion

Postby laranzu » Mon May 05, 2008 7:48 am UTC

The movie will feature Summer Glau as a shape-shifting spork

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Re: "Forks and Spoons" Discussion

Postby etho » Mon May 05, 2008 8:07 am UTC

I'd just like to point out that I own a sp'nork. It is a spork with a butter-knife stye serrated edge. Not terribly sharp, of course, but it get's the job done.

Of course, I keep it under lock and key. For safety's sake.

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Re: "Forks and Spoons" Discussion

Postby Weaver » Mon May 05, 2008 8:18 am UTC

Bluey wrote:*evil laugh* Beware my 9/42 spoon, 33/42 fork hybrid...

You may have stumbled onto something significant here.
Stainless Steel cooking utensils are often engraved with a number, purporting to be the ratio of various elements which make the steel "stainless".

For example 18/8 stainless contains about 18% Chromium and 8% Nickel.

But what if this is all a plot to disguise the actual meaning of the numbering system - the Sporkiness Value.

I posit that the utensils - almost always measuring cups and spoons - are possessed of dangerous fork elements, and the numbering is to let professional chefs know how much risk they fact. These camoflauged sporks could be triggered into murderous frenzies at some yet-to-be-discovered stimulus (blatent failure to employ Kosher salt? Inability to flip an omlette? Anything involving Hamburger Helper?).

So I urge everyone to look closely at your higher quality cookware - if it has these coded numbers, prepare to defend yourself and your family against the murderous rampage of an unchecked spork. I suggest purchasing an assault garbage disposal.

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Re: "Forks and Spoons" Discussion

Postby Weaver » Mon May 05, 2008 8:21 am UTC

Bluey wrote:
Robin S wrote:But 42 isn't a power of 2...


Hmmm... True. Need new fork/spoon mixing technology...

However, 42 IS the Ultimate Answer to the Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything.

If Sporks are indeed that powerful, there's no reason 42 shouldn't be included in the denominator of the fraction describing them.

:mrgreen:

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Re: "Forks and Spoons" Discussion

Postby TheHand » Mon May 05, 2008 8:37 am UTC

Most sporks I have ever seen have been plastic, and altogether not too dangerous.

Perhaps they are trying to lure me into a false sense of security.

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Re: "Forks and Spoons" Discussion

Postby archan » Mon May 05, 2008 8:53 am UTC

Reminds me of this Flowfield Unity comic.

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Re: "Forks and Spoons" Discussion

Postby MedO » Mon May 05, 2008 9:17 am UTC

I've used this kind of maths once to get a fading effect in a graphics engine that supported only fixed (image-data) transparency: I created a half-transparent image of the foreground and one of the background, and layered multiple copies of them on top of each other to get any transparency value I wanted. At the time, I was a bit surprised that the resulting scale is linear.

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Re: "Forks and Spoons" Discussion

Postby Joeldi » Mon May 05, 2008 9:58 am UTC

I dun' geddit.
Was there a punchline here?

Oh. the sporks killed them.

Wat.
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Re: "Forks and Spoons" Discussion

Postby Luthen » Mon May 05, 2008 10:03 am UTC

You gave away the unexpected twist! You monster!

I have to admit that this comic makes me want to design a taxonomic scheme to classify different pieces of cutlery...
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Re: "Forks and Spoons" Discussion

Postby VelociraptorEvader » Mon May 05, 2008 10:11 am UTC

Hahaha. damn good. but WTF?? Took it to the next level there, after everyone thought the game had already finished.
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Re: "Forks and Spoons" Discussion

Postby GiantSnowman » Mon May 05, 2008 10:19 am UTC

It seems sporks have replaced velociraptors. I'm going to have to find some new defences for my house.

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Re: "Forks and Spoons" Discussion

Postby Steroid » Mon May 05, 2008 10:31 am UTC

I found this one a little predictible, though I figured the fifth panel would be more of an "I am Legend"-esque worldwide devestation.

And what bothers me is that there are people out there (*coughBenSteincough*) who really think this is the result of science, that every experiment is tampering in God's domain, and that we're all going to die as a result of something grown in a lab.

Which is why the space program is so important. Once we settle on other planets, we can experiment all we want, and if we invent killer spork hybrids, they'll just kill one planet, not everyone.

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Re: "Forks and Spoons" Discussion

Postby ellecee » Mon May 05, 2008 10:42 am UTC

Growth wrote:Didn't Johnny The Homicidal Maniac already cover the "murdered by a spork" angle?



Yep. It was wacky.

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Re: "Forks and Spoons" Discussion

Postby phlip » Mon May 05, 2008 10:56 am UTC

Steroid wrote:and if we invent killer spork hybrids, they'll just kill one planet, not everyone.

But what if we invent killer space-travelling spork hybrids, then we'd still be screwed.

I mean, how much oxygen does a piece of shaped metal need to survive? All it'd need is a method of propulsion...

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enum ಠ_ಠ {°□°╰=1, °Д°╰, ಠ益ಠ╰};
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Re: "Forks and Spoons" Discussion

Postby eMonkey » Mon May 05, 2008 11:04 am UTC

The murderous utensil doesn't look to have much in common with spoons or forks. Maybe through some neglected aspect of cutlery genetics, they accidentally created....a knife!

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Re: "Forks and Spoons" Discussion

Postby Ben H » Mon May 05, 2008 11:19 am UTC

I can NOT believe that no-one noticed this yet.
Image

Image

And then of course, there's also the fact that she's in Mistranslations, and New Pet. Also, it could be her in The Man Who Fell Sideways.

BHG?

Could she be preparing an army of evil super-utensils?

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Re: "Forks and Spoons" Discussion

Postby Jekka_Lynn » Mon May 05, 2008 11:32 am UTC

Luthen wrote:I would have thought that sporks were like mules, incredibly useful but sterile.


Maybe like mules every once in a while there is one that can have babies but only if the breed it back to a horse or a donkey, not if they breed it to another fertile mule which is how this whole Spork X Fork breeding idea actually came up in the first place. Some poor spork realized it could have babies and so it volunteered to help the scientist's, never realizing they would steal it's baby from it and raise it in a lab. The baby is mad that it never knew it's real mother and so it goes on a killing rampage and then runs away to find it's mom, the fertile Spork....The next boxes could show it fighting it's way across the globe meeting new cutlery along the way...It would be an epic tale
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Re: "Forks and Spoons" Discussion

Postby Stief » Mon May 05, 2008 12:55 pm UTC

TheHand wrote:Most sporks I have ever seen have been plastic, and altogether not too dangerous.

Perhaps they are trying to lure me into a false sense of security.


How about this TITANIUM SPORK?!
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Re: "Forks and Spoons" Discussion

Postby liryon » Mon May 05, 2008 1:55 pm UTC

Seems Serenity/Firefly inspired. Just think of the killer spork in the last scene as River Tam and work backwards. I think it all fits.

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Re: "Forks and Spoons" Discussion

Postby Floiancu » Mon May 05, 2008 1:57 pm UTC

Doug Savage did one about spoons, forks, sporks and the genetics inbetween. I actually don`t have enough time to look for the comic, but the fans know it :))
Nevertheless, both are killers :P

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Re: "Forks and Spoons" Discussion

Postby dharmamama » Mon May 05, 2008 2:02 pm UTC

Just because it mentions sporks, and it was recent, so I remembered.

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Re: "Forks and Spoons" Discussion

Postby SolkaTruesilver » Mon May 05, 2008 2:10 pm UTC

Oh damn it.. now Wizards will have to give the stats of multi-sporks both as a weapon for PCs and random monsters. And you though the Polearm table was complicated? Wait to see how a 3/128 fork fares against a 63/256 spoon!!!

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Re: "Forks and Spoons" Discussion

Postby TeslaA » Mon May 05, 2008 2:41 pm UTC

Of COURSE it's scary; it's a spook.

(If 1/2 spoon + 1/2 fork is a spork, then shouldn't 3/4 spoon + 1/4 fork be a spook? We won't worry too much about the fractional "o".)

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Re: "Forks and Spoons" Discussion

Postby dianagram » Mon May 05, 2008 2:59 pm UTC

Eldan wrote:See, my favourite eating utensil was always the Knork. Yes, that's a knife fork.

Hey, perhaps that thing in the last panel is a Knork.


Perhaps the scientists all wanted to die, and they called in Dr. Jack Knorkian? :?
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Re: "Forks and Spoons" Discussion

Postby captainoblivious » Mon May 05, 2008 3:37 pm UTC

I can imagine the little pointy bastard patiently waiting amongst the unevolved at a Taco Bell, breathlessly lying in wait under a hermetically sealed plastic wrapper, waiting everlong to commit his most flawless murder to date.

Also, thank you for suggesting a refinement of the spork-making process. Aside from the eventual arrogant creation of our own demise, I could do with a spork with longer tines.
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Re: "Forks and Spoons" Discussion

Postby KyrieEleison » Mon May 05, 2008 3:46 pm UTC

Today's strip is especially funny, because my friends and I have been discussing sporks as of late... basically, this only contributes to the spoon's transgressions.

For your consideration:
  • "The spoon and knife are man and wife" - a rhyme used to remind children where cutlery goes when setting the table properly. This proves that the spoon and knife have had a very long relationship together.
  • "The dish ran away with the spoon" - from the nursery rhyme. In light of the first point, this prompted a friend of mine to wonder, "Does this make the dish a homewrecker or the spoon a whore?" This is only one of the spoon's many infidelities, which brings me to...
  • Sporks are obviously the (illegitimate) children of the fork and the spoon. And now, as evidenced by today's strip, the spoon has left with the fork permanently to create many unholy hellspawn that are currently loose to kill/enslave mankind.

So now, not only is the spoon a whore, it's an evil whore. It must be stopped.

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Re: "Forks and Spoons" Discussion

Postby arbivark » Mon May 05, 2008 3:51 pm UTC

Stief wrote:
TheHand wrote:Most sporks I have ever seen have been plastic, and altogether not too dangerous.
Perhaps they are trying to lure me into a false sense of security.
!


I have a metal spork, made in japan. Wish I knew what year it was made.
Citation needed for the evolution of the spork.
edit: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spork
The word spork is a portmanteau combining the words spoon and fork.
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Last edited by arbivark on Mon May 05, 2008 4:00 pm UTC, edited 3 times in total.

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Re: "Forks and Spoons" Discussion

Postby dianagram » Mon May 05, 2008 3:54 pm UTC

arbivark wrote:
Stief wrote:
TheHand wrote:Most sporks I have ever seen have been plastic, and altogether not too dangerous.
Perhaps they are trying to lure me into a false sense of security.
!


I have a metal spork, made in japan. Wish I knew what year it was made.
Citation needed for the evolution of the spork.


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spork

"Spork-like utensils have been manufactured since at least the late 1800s; patents for spork-like designs date back to at least 1874 and the word "spork" was registered as a trademark both in the U.S. and the UK decades later.....

... The word "spork" appeared in the 1909 supplement to the Century Dictionary, where it was described as a trade name and "a 'portmanteau-word' applied to a long, slender spoon having at the end of the bowl projections resembling the tines of a fork". Sporks are occasionally known as foons.[1] A similar term exists in Finnish: a "luha" (properly "lusikka-haarukka") is a portmanteau word combining the words for "spoon" and "fork" respectively, and is most commonly to issued to conscripts on national service. It should be noted that finnish luha is not constructed as spork but has spoon in one end and fork in other and folds at the middle.

Similar utensils include the knork, the spife, the splayd, and forkchops. Sporks are often referred to for humorous effect, often as hypothetical weapons."
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Re: "Forks and Spoons" Discussion

Postby Cartofel » Mon May 05, 2008 4:01 pm UTC

Don't know if anyone's mentioned it yet, but the proper/ UK name for a spork is a "runcible spoon".

But I always thought spork was cooler. As a prime example of a portmanteau, for one thing. ("runcible" is actually another made up word, designed by Edward Lear; "portmanteau" was made up by Lewis Carrol. Wikipedia ftw! :D )

EDIT:
And a knork is also known as a Nelson fork. (What with him ending up with one arm, and all)
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Re: "Forks and Spoons" Discussion

Postby DarkKnightJared » Mon May 05, 2008 4:20 pm UTC

"You're toying with powerful forces here" made me laugh my ass off. :lol:

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Re: "Forks and Spoons" Discussion

Postby SalXML » Mon May 05, 2008 4:30 pm UTC


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Re: "Forks and Spoons" Discussion

Postby Poopinablanket » Mon May 05, 2008 5:09 pm UTC

Oh Lordy me it's Jurassic Spork!

Duh dah da duh da

da da da da daa da daaaa

"Shut off the electric fences! We need to reboot the system!" "No, you fool! The sporks WILL EAT US ALL!!".

I imagine that's how it would all go down.

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Re: "Forks and Spoons" Discussion

Postby Spoffin » Mon May 05, 2008 5:09 pm UTC

Not_a_Spambot wrote:Edit: Of course, with Rachel Ray and Emiril compromised, The company will have to send in the best utensil fighting team in the world: Martha Stewart and Uri Gellar. River Tam will provide backup.

That'd be the best film since Snakes on a Plane.
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Re: "Forks and Spoons" Discussion

Postby Sprocket » Mon May 05, 2008 5:20 pm UTC

More proof the internet still hasn't really straight produced any house hold names. One still has to reach into hollywood land to find a common experience. I've learned recently that most people don't know what rick roll is even inside my demographic (and thank god for that).
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