0236: "Collecting Double-Takes"

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0236: "Collecting Double-Takes"

Postby Gordon » Fri Mar 16, 2007 4:24 am UTC

Image
Alt: Fun game: find a combination of two items that most freaks out the cashier. Winner: pregnancy test and single coat hanger.

First off: ROFLMAO. Secondly I think everyone in here should actually go out and try this tomorrow. I'll have to wait til Payday (next Friday) but this would actually be pretty funny to try and see if you can keep a straight face while doing it. I used to be a stock boy all through highschool and the first few years I went to university, I'd say the oddest thing I ever saw someone buying would've been a whole bunch of mouth wash and anti-hangover pills. Though that's more depressing than funny.

Here: http://xkcd.com/c236.html
:evil:
Meaux_Pas wrote:
RealGrouchy wrote:I still remember the time when Gordon left. I still wake up in the middle of the night crying and screaming his name.
I do that too, but for an entirely different reason.
RealGrouchy wrote:
Gordon wrote:How long have I been asleep?!
Our daughter is in high school now.

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Postby Pau! » Fri Mar 16, 2007 4:36 am UTC

Damn, you're sharp. These threads get made freakin' instantly.

Also; the alt-text, while hilarious, kinda discourages me from trying, because I can't think of anything that will even come close to beating that.

Except maybe...
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Postby warriorness » Fri Mar 16, 2007 4:45 am UTC

Randall sure has a lot of hobbies. I wonder if he ever mixes them up sometimes.

A tube of K Why-Jelly...?
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yy2bggggs, on Fischer Random chess wrote:Hmmm.... I wonder how how a hypermodern approach would work

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Postby warriorness » Fri Mar 16, 2007 4:48 am UTC

Even better than the alt text: A pregnancy test, and a single PLASTIC coat hanger.

That way, in addition to every other conveyed implication, the cashier also thinks you're a blithering idiot.
Iluvatar wrote:Love: Gimme the frickin' API.
yy2bggggs, on Fischer Random chess wrote:Hmmm.... I wonder how how a hypermodern approach would work

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Postby genewitch » Fri Mar 16, 2007 5:02 am UTC

My favorite trick at the store when we're doing a "beer run" is to get just a ton of fifths of vodka and whiskey and rum and cases of beer, and one package of diapers. Then when you get the total, throw the diapers at a friend and say "put em back, don't have enough"


LOL!

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Postby ryan » Fri Mar 16, 2007 5:04 am UTC

Nice comic. Once my girlfriend and I went to Target and bought a bottle of caramel and the game "Twister". I thought is was pretty hilarisexy, but she got embarassed and left while I was paying.

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Postby Jack Saladin » Fri Mar 16, 2007 5:15 am UTC

It's called "Collecting Double-Takes" and IS THIS ENTIRE FORUM COMPLETELY FUCKING INCAPABLE OF READING? HUH!? I FIND THIS EXTREMELY HARD TO BELIEVE, CONSIDERING THIS IS A TEXT BASED MEDIUM, AND THEREFORE THE ONLY POSSIBLE EXPLANATION IS THAT YOU ARE ALL LEGALLY BLIND AND USE SOME SORT OF TEXT TO SPEECH PROGRAM TO READ OFF WEB PAGES - A TEXT TO SPEECH PROGRAM WHICH HAS BEEN HACKED BY SOMEONE WHO HATES ME IN ORDER TO ENSURE IT IGNORES NOT ONLY THE "RULES" THREAD, BUT ALSO THE "SERIOUSLY READ THE FUCKING RULES THREAD YOU FUCKING MORONS" AS YOU ALL SEEM DETERMINED TO NEVER INCLUDE A LINK WITH YOUR POSTS DESPITE MY BEST EFFORTS.

It's not that hard... There's even a conveniently placed link right below every single comic. Like, right there. All you have to do is copy and paste. Not hard, not difficult - I genuinely believe a trained monkey could pull it off.

Not xkcders though. Nooo. That would be far to hard.

OH WAIT, IT'S NOT HARD AT ALL YOU'RE ALL JUST IDIOTS DETERMINED TO INVOKE MY WRATH.

That aside, as the first person to not include a link after my recent announcement, I will quite honestly have to have something horrible done to you. I'll take some time to mull over what it'll be.

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Postby thefiddler » Fri Mar 16, 2007 5:24 am UTC

Saladin wrote:OH WAIT, IT'S NOT HARD AT ALL YOU'RE ALL JUST IDIOTS DETERMINED TO INVOKE MY WRATH.

Oh noes! You're on to me!

*runs and hides in a corner to avoid invoking Sal's wrath*

Just so you know, I was *really* tempted to call you "Sally" but refrained. One person has already pissed you off enough for one night.

Anyway, the comic. My facial expression was something akin to: O.O when I read it. And then sent it to my friend with "O.O Christ. WTF," to which he promptly replied with "Haha, I'm so doing that next time I'm at the store."

I'm scared, now. Someone hold me. :(

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Postby aldimond » Fri Mar 16, 2007 6:08 am UTC

*Holds Caitlin... up in a tiny globe... up high, high in the desolate mountain air, into the sharp first light of the rising sun. Her shadow extends from her perch, long down into the valley below, sinister darkness falling on the creatures that dwell there.*
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Postby Gelsamel » Fri Mar 16, 2007 6:24 am UTC

Everyone, lets laugh at Saladin, because he is funny.

lol@Saladin


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Oh man we totally used to do this.

Postby Myself » Fri Mar 16, 2007 6:28 am UTC

The trick was to find a young cashier. The old ones have seen it all and nothing fazes 'em anymore. Our rules didn't specify "two items" though, we had a price limit. Usually five bucks.

Our best: Rubber gloves, flashlight, Vaseline, laxative.

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Postby Gordon » Fri Mar 16, 2007 6:32 am UTC

Patashu wrote:Hehe caps lock.

Also perhaps he had a mind lapse and looked at the image's title instead of the page's title? I know I make slips up like that sometimes.

That is exactly correct.

Seems it would have been easier to just add the link to my post than go off like that, but meh my mistake. I'm not trying to provoke you Saladin but do me a favour and go to http://xkcd.com/current/ (which is what I go to). Yes I guess I should have actually looked at the page for a title. Anyway these threads are usually made one minute after Randall uploads the comic and since the time on my post ends in :24 you can imagine my surprise that I had to start the thread to begin with.

Anyway no hard feelings, but I assure you I am not a "moron". Alright I forgot the link so we'll say half-moron.
Meaux_Pas wrote:
RealGrouchy wrote:I still remember the time when Gordon left. I still wake up in the middle of the night crying and screaming his name.
I do that too, but for an entirely different reason.
RealGrouchy wrote:
Gordon wrote:How long have I been asleep?!
Our daughter is in high school now.

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Under $5

Postby BobCat » Fri Mar 16, 2007 6:45 am UTC

KY. Fleet enema, condoms, rubber gloves.

Hopefully, you have a date waiting in the car.

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Postby ohki » Fri Mar 16, 2007 8:37 am UTC

A turkey baster and a watermelon. Sure its not sexual or shocking... but there's something hilarious about the combination.

Alternative... KY, a box of plastic wrap.... and a watermelon

Gordon wrote:Seems it would have been easier to just add the link to my post than go off like that, but meh my mistake. I'm not trying to provoke you Saladin but do me a favour and go to http://xkcd.com/current/ (which is what I go to).


Don't you miss the most humorous alt-text then?
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Postby benmcm » Fri Mar 16, 2007 10:14 am UTC

I work at a super market (grocery store) at the moment to save money for University.

Trust me, nothing phases me about what people buy. You get enough random things when they're not trying to confuse you. And after you've explained to someone what "Buy one get one free" means, I think you're prepared for most eventualities.

The best is men buying tampons though, they always look so nervous and sheepish.

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Postby Gordon » Fri Mar 16, 2007 11:02 am UTC

ohki wrote:Don't you miss the most humorous alt-text then?

Ya, I had to go to the actual page to grab that. To be honest I usually just come *here* to read the new comic since, like I said, someone usually jumps on it right after it's been uploaded. I'm sorry I messed up the format so much, I'll make sure to never start another one of these threads again, I apologize.
Meaux_Pas wrote:
RealGrouchy wrote:I still remember the time when Gordon left. I still wake up in the middle of the night crying and screaming his name.
I do that too, but for an entirely different reason.
RealGrouchy wrote:
Gordon wrote:How long have I been asleep?!
Our daughter is in high school now.

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Postby LE4dGOLEM » Fri Mar 16, 2007 11:17 am UTC

Gordon wrote:
ohki wrote:Don't you miss the most humorous alt-text then?

Ya, I had to go to the actual page to grab that. To be honest I usually just come *here* to read the new comic since, like I said, someone usually jumps on it right after it's been uploaded. I'm sorry I messed up the format so much, I'll make sure to never start another one of these threads again, I apologize.


You went to the actual page, requiring some kind of URL to get there, and missed it?
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Postby hermaj » Fri Mar 16, 2007 12:14 pm UTC

Look, everyone just drop it and get on with talking about the comic. I love that the moderators so bent on Gordon following the link rule are stomping all over the keep on topic one.


I for one am going to be very observant in the produce aisle from now on.

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Postby predatormc » Fri Mar 16, 2007 12:23 pm UTC

If anyone in the UK (possibly elsewhere) remembers those Kellogs drop a jean size adverts, they now realise why I wince every time I see that woman straining to jip her jeans up with a coathanger.
DIY dilation and evacuation argh.
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Postby LE4dGOLEM » Fri Mar 16, 2007 12:59 pm UTC

predatormc wrote:If anyone in the UK (possibly elsewhere) remembers those Kellogs drop a jean size adverts, they now realise why I wince every time I see that woman straining to jip her jeans up with a coathanger.
DIY dilation and evacuation argh.



I shall from henceforth never watch television again :shock:
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Postby Quake » Fri Mar 16, 2007 1:06 pm UTC

Buying a six inch nail and a bouillon cube at spring equinox.
If in Scandinavia. In other places, exchange the nail with a stone :?


Keep on observing 8)
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This is teh best one so far;
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I really feel monogametous today.
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Postby bippy » Fri Mar 16, 2007 2:04 pm UTC

Well at least Saladin is rational, civil, and has a good sense of perspective that fits with the light-hearted tone of a thread created to appreciate a good laugh so as to not ruin the fun of others with an over-serious, caps lock riddled rant.

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Postby tylerni7 » Fri Mar 16, 2007 2:47 pm UTC

Well if your in the produce section and already have the K-Y Jelly, buy a cucumber or something. I'm sure that'll get a few double takes.

Overall, I think I'd go with the K-Y, a bottle of vodka, and a children's movie like The Polar Express or something. (Most stores don't have a wide selection of movies, if any at all, but Super Stop & Shop has new releases and stuff)

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Postby Subpoena » Fri Mar 16, 2007 3:04 pm UTC

My best is a box of 12 condoms, a pack of 6 ping-pong balls, and 4 Glo-sticks.

I went in to get condoms, because I had run out, and pong balls, for beer-pong that night, and then randomly spotted Glo-sticks for $0.50 each.

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Postby x-virge » Fri Mar 16, 2007 3:06 pm UTC

I like to play the inverse of this game in my head:

When standing in line at the cashier, look at what combinations of items other people have and imagine what sick, sick things they're planning.

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Postby space_raptor » Fri Mar 16, 2007 3:22 pm UTC

What if you had a pregnancy test, a coat hanger, and duct tape?
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Postby saxmaniac1987 » Fri Mar 16, 2007 3:29 pm UTC

What's also kinda disturbing is when you see an elderly man or lady buying condoms in with the rest of his/her groceries... I've seen it multiple times, and its kind of funny knowing that they're gettin' it on that night...
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Postby Silverbolt » Fri Mar 16, 2007 3:34 pm UTC

I found today's comic inspiring.

To the Supermarket!
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Postby Corvin » Fri Mar 16, 2007 4:15 pm UTC

eh, the radio station i work at runs contests like that all the time: "what's the oddest collection of items you can purchase for sexual pleasure AND a double-take from the cashier?"

usually the winner gets a gift certificate to a fetish store.

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Postby German Sausage » Fri Mar 16, 2007 4:18 pm UTC

optimus prime mask and 4 liters of custard. we would have gotten my friend's body weight, but we couldn't be arsed carrying it home. it would have only cost about $15 too, because the custard was two days off expiring. we woke him up by pouring custard on his tummy.

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Postby harleypig » Fri Mar 16, 2007 4:19 pm UTC

I had a girlfriend who taught me this game. My favorite was the following:

Stand in line with a tube of K-Y Jelly, a single potato and a spatula. She would call me (she'd be in the car where she could see the cashier so she would know when to call) and I would tell her what I had. She would say it wasn't enough so I'd race back and get a second tube of K-Y Jelly and a bottle of chocolate syrup.

We tried acting excited and bored. The bored routine got much better responses.

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Postby Pau! » Fri Mar 16, 2007 7:04 pm UTC

^That was an excellent first post.

Greetings, sir! And welcome to the fora.


Although not disgusting, I do get confused looks from cashiers when I buy a pack of soy burgers and, say, lamb.

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Postby Nuclear Summer » Fri Mar 16, 2007 7:37 pm UTC

As soon as I saw the words "My Hobby:" I was immediately put in a great mood, and the comic just made it better.

This one was from an old ass-topic from a few years ago on another board, it's been my quote there for a while:

1.A box of condoms
2.An adult batman costume
3.A child sized robin costume
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Postby TheTankengine » Fri Mar 16, 2007 8:16 pm UTC

Nuclear Summer wrote:As soon as I saw the words "My Hobby:" I was immediately put in a great mood, and the comic just made it better.

This one was from an old ass-topic from a few years ago on another board, it's been my quote there for a while:

1.A box of condoms
2.An adult batman costume
3.A child sized robin costume


Haha! Win.
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Postby Mix » Fri Mar 16, 2007 8:25 pm UTC

And I always just tried to combine other people's food purchases into a single bizarre dish. Apparently the internets have not corrupted me enough yet.
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Postby Rockapotamus » Fri Mar 16, 2007 8:42 pm UTC

This comic immediately reminded me of the part in Haunted by Chuck Palahniuk where the guy went to the store, bought a carrot and some KY, and went home and did some things to himself with it.

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Postby aldimond » Fri Mar 16, 2007 8:51 pm UTC

Rockapotamus wrote:This comic immediately reminded me of the part in Haunted by Chuck Palahniuk where the guy went to the store, bought a carrot and some KY, and went home and did some things to himself with it.


OK, dude, you seriously have to stop getting me aroused at work.
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Postby matts2 » Fri Mar 16, 2007 8:59 pm UTC

benmcm wrote:The best is men buying tampons though, they always look so nervous and sheepish.


I used to feel that way, then someone pointed out that it is not like I was going to use them or something. Now I do it with a bit of a swagger: "I got a woman!"

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Postby MythGuyDK » Fri Mar 16, 2007 8:59 pm UTC

aldimond wrote:
Rockapotamus wrote:This comic immediately reminded me of the part in Haunted by Chuck Palahniuk where the guy went to the store, bought a carrot and some KY, and went home and did some things to himself with it.


OK, dude, you seriously have to stop getting me aroused at work.

ewwww....

Here's two combos: Largest watermelon in the store.... and a couple tubes of KY.

And.... KY, cucumber, frying pan.
Exactly!

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Postby LE4dGOLEM » Fri Mar 16, 2007 9:10 pm UTC

Astroglide > KY
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