0516: "Wood Chips"

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joee
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0516: "Wood Chips"

Postby joee » Fri Dec 12, 2008 5:05 am UTC

Image

Link: http://xkcd.com/516/

Title text: You didn't run a chemical analysis against the Shroud of Turin? Man, all that work for NOTHING.

I suspect Randall would be a fun/annoying housemate to have.
Also, I wonder what stranger questions the testing could raise. Maybe the wood is from a species of tree not found on earth?
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TheHand
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Re: "Wood chips" Discussion

Postby TheHand » Fri Dec 12, 2008 5:06 am UTC

Damn, that could have been a crazy three part adventure right there!

But oh well, instead we get a great comic :)

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Re: "Wood chips" Discussion

Postby GodShapedBullet » Fri Dec 12, 2008 5:08 am UTC

I think I would have liked this comic a bit better if the thing the main character expected bun hair to do was a little more believable, or maybe if it expanded more on the efforts he went to create a faulty sample and the disappointment that would ensue.

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Re: "Wood Chips" Discussion

Postby atrain » Fri Dec 12, 2008 5:08 am UTC

Gah! Hes in my head!

Recently random wood bits have started showing up in my house. Problem is they are splinters up to 1" long embedded in carpet, hard to see and painful to step on. After my exams are completed, the investigation gets top priority.

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Re: "Wood Chips" Discussion

Postby aion7 » Fri Dec 12, 2008 5:09 am UTC

I didn't get it the first time, but I did the second.


What new questions could arise?
Perhaps they fit together forming the shape of the Virgin Mary.
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Re: "Wood Chips" Discussion

Postby prokrastinatorSF » Fri Dec 12, 2008 5:11 am UTC

I know... the main problem with this comic is that it leaves me burning with curiosity about what the new questions were. Maybe it's not wood at all, but in fact... Alien to earth? Not actually from a plant? From the Meteor rocks right here in Smallville? From the ladder used in the kidnapping of the Lindberg baby? Who knows.

Edit: GodShapedBullet, Yeah, I always love the drawings of the main character's painstaking efforts... like when he created the glass necklace.
Last edited by prokrastinatorSF on Fri Dec 12, 2008 5:13 am UTC, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: "Wood Chips" Discussion

Postby GodShapedBullet » Fri Dec 12, 2008 5:11 am UTC

atrain wrote:Gah! Hes in my head!

Recently random wood bits have started showing up in my house. Problem is they are splinters up to 1" long embedded in carpet, hard to see and painful to step on. After my exams are completed, the investigation gets top priority.


You are kind of reaching a bit to get to the "Randall, get out of my head" thing, aren't you?

prokrastinatorSF wrote:Edit: GodShapedBullet, Yeah, I always love the drawings of the main character's painstaking efforts... like when he created the glass necklace.


Plus who doesn't like painstaking efforts resulting in no success? Hilarious!

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Re: "Wood Chips" Discussion

Postby StClair » Fri Dec 12, 2008 5:31 am UTC

No, what "you" (the character in the strip) need to do is get a $^%#ing life.

alt text: "But how can I jerk off to how fantastically clever I am if you won't pass me the tissues?"
Last edited by StClair on Fri Dec 12, 2008 5:37 am UTC, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: "Wood Chips" Discussion

Postby linguistic » Fri Dec 12, 2008 5:35 am UTC

Now if Dan Brown were his room mate...
Son of a bit!

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Re: "Wood Chips" Discussion

Postby Affableprechaun » Fri Dec 12, 2008 5:36 am UTC

Man, that hoax is so elaborate and nerdish that even I feel outstripped.


Though really, if he wanted someone to investigate the chips, he should have done something to draw attention to them, such as murder someone right next to them, leaving them as the only clue.

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Re: "Wood Chips" Discussion

Postby Chevron » Fri Dec 12, 2008 5:39 am UTC

I was about to post "Man, this guy and Robert Langdon would have a blast rooming together," and then the "at least one new message blah blah..." thing came up.

Damn you linguistic.
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Re: "Wood Chips" Discussion

Postby Lure+Breaker » Fri Dec 12, 2008 5:56 am UTC

Wood chips don't appear in my hallway, but dead ants appear on my pillow. Don't know how.

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Re: "Wood Chips" Discussion

Postby Geogriffith » Fri Dec 12, 2008 5:57 am UTC

aion7 wrote:What new questions could arise?
Perhaps they fit together forming the shape of the Virgin Mary.

That's silly. There was never any wood in the Virgin Mary. :wink:

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Re: "Wood Chips" Discussion

Postby Flesh_Of_The_Fallen_Angel » Fri Dec 12, 2008 6:01 am UTC

Last comic you wanted less murder but this comic you want more murder? Make up your mind!

Also, Randall would make an awesome serial killer! Seriously people! . . . just imagine how xkcd would be once there is a murder with "xkcd" cut out of someone's forehead! and them being strung up in some awesome (yet only known to nerds) death pose of everyone's favorite star trek character! . . . <shifty eyes>

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Re: "Wood Chips" Discussion

Postby canyonero » Fri Dec 12, 2008 6:03 am UTC

Actually, this would be right at home with Nicholas Cage in National Treasure 3: Omniscience, Condescension and the Truck-Swallowing Plot Hole.

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Re: "Wood Chips" Discussion

Postby Affableprechaun » Fri Dec 12, 2008 6:08 am UTC

Geogriffith wrote:
aion7 wrote:What new questions could arise?
Perhaps they fit together forming the shape of the Virgin Mary.

That's silly. There was never any wood in the Virgin Mary. :wink:


Oh... oh dear god. Well done. Very well done. We need to see more of you.

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Re: "Wood Chips" Discussion

Postby cyberia » Fri Dec 12, 2008 6:10 am UTC

StClair wrote:No, what "you" (the character in the strip) need to do is get a $^%#ing life.

alt text: "But how can I jerk off to how fantastically clever I am if you won't pass me the tissues?"


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Re: "Wood Chips" Discussion

Postby '; DROP DATABASE;-- » Fri Dec 12, 2008 6:32 am UTC

Lure+Breaker wrote:Wood chips don't appear in my hallway, but dead ants appear on my pillow. Don't know how.
When I lived with my mom, whenever I would go into the basement, there'd be many dead spiders on the ceiling and walls. But I never saw a live one. And they were always in different places. They weren't sleeping either, you could poke them and nothing would happen. Paralysed with fear from the light coming on maybe?
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Re: "Wood Chips" Discussion

Postby InstinctSage » Fri Dec 12, 2008 7:06 am UTC

It just doesn't sit right with me that the guy has the wherewithal to create misleading woodchips, yet the best he can come up with is ditching them in the hallway and hinting that they should be looked at closer.

I can't get past the thought that the hoax isn't too subtle, it's just basically bad.

Usually when I get the joke on xkcd, I still find it amusing. This time no. :(
Oh well. Next time.
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Re: "Wood Chips" Discussion

Postby philsov » Fri Dec 12, 2008 7:15 am UTC

Geogriffith wrote:
aion7 wrote:What new questions could arise?
Perhaps they fit together forming the shape of the Virgin Mary.

That's silly. There was never any wood in the Virgin Mary. :wink:


Because when she weeps it'd cause her face to get all puffy.

:lol:
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Re: "Wood Chips" Discussion

Postby Unforgiven » Fri Dec 12, 2008 8:36 am UTC

Geogriffith wrote:
aion7 wrote:What new questions could arise?
Perhaps they fit together forming the shape of the Virgin Mary.

That's silly. There was never any wood in the Virgin Mary. :wink:

Bad pun... draining... life force...
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Re: "Wood Chips" Discussion

Postby rnew » Fri Dec 12, 2008 9:32 am UTC

Ah so much effort for no reward.

Reminds me of when my housemates dressed a wetsuit up in clothes and threw it down the stairs to try and scare me.
I din't even realise anything had happened, even after a loud clatter behind me.

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Re: "Wood Chips" Discussion

Postby Nemphael » Fri Dec 12, 2008 10:04 am UTC

It does? How much wood would a wood chuck chip if a wood chuck would chip wood?

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Re: "Wood Chips" Discussion

Postby Lure+Breaker » Fri Dec 12, 2008 10:06 am UTC

'; DROP DATABASE;-- wrote:
Lure+Breaker wrote:Wood chips don't appear in my hallway, but dead ants appear on my pillow. Don't know how.
When I lived with my mom, whenever I would go into the basement, there'd be many dead spiders on the ceiling and walls. But I never saw a live one. And they were always in different places. They weren't sleeping either, you could poke them and nothing would happen. Paralysed with fear from the light coming on maybe?


There are no ant trails or spiders near my bed, or room. They are definitely dead. It's slightly creepy.

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Re: "Wood Chips" Discussion

Postby SirMustapha » Fri Dec 12, 2008 10:12 am UTC

I'm also trying to pick the comic apart and crack up the tiniest, most insignificant seams and tear it to bits with biting criticism, but I'm constantly failing. I still find this comic funny. I mean, the character's imagination flew away with the most fantastic and wonderful possibilities, but forgot the most banal and obvious one and thus failed. That's just it, I mean, is it really necessary to expand on that?

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Re: "Wood Chips" Discussion

Postby Nemphael » Fri Dec 12, 2008 10:15 am UTC

SirMustapha wrote:... and tear it to bits...

So, HEX editor? Or do you just cry at it and hope it'll succumb?

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Re: "Wood Chips" Discussion

Postby GodShapedBullet » Fri Dec 12, 2008 11:37 am UTC

SirMustapha wrote:I'm also trying to pick the comic apart and crack up the tiniest, most insignificant seams and tear it to bits with biting criticism, but I'm constantly failing. I still find this comic funny. I mean, the character's imagination flew away with the most fantastic and wonderful possibilities, but forgot the most banal and obvious one and thus failed. That's just it, I mean, is it really necessary to expand on that?


I think the character's mind flew away to fantastic and wonderful possibilities that I can't imagine most minds actually going to. I think the joke concept "character's imagination gets the best of him" works, but I think it could have been better executed this time.

You shouldn't try and pick the comic apart if you liked it. That's silly. But it didn't really work for me and I was trying to figure out why.

Also, I don't think it is fair to characterize this thread as "trying to pick the comic apart and crack up the tiniest, most insignificant seams" or, with the exception of what StClair said, "biting criticism."

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Re: "Wood Chips" Discussion

Postby boxbrown » Fri Dec 12, 2008 1:27 pm UTC

I thought this comic could have been spaced out into a few more panels.
Image

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Re: "Wood Chips" Discussion

Postby Kitsusyn » Fri Dec 12, 2008 1:31 pm UTC

Chalk up another one for "this didn't really work for me". WTF would you make up a ghost ship that prior to your hoax NO ONE HAS EVER HEARD OF and then plant chips in the hall and NOT EXPECT THE HOAX TO FAIL? Seriously, I have never loathed a stick figure for his stupidity SO MUCH...

InstinctSage wrote:It just doesn't sit right with me that the guy has the wherewithal to create misleading woodchips, yet the best he can come up with is ditching them in the hallway and hinting that they should be looked at closer.

I can't get past the thought that the hoax isn't too subtle, it's just basically bad.

Usually when I get the joke on xkcd, I still find it amusing. This time no. :(
Oh well. Next time.


This exactly.

Flesh_Of_The_Fallen_Angel wrote:Also, Randall would make an awesome serial killer! Seriously people! . . . just imagine how xkcd would be once there is a murder with "xkcd" cut out of someone's forehead! and them being strung up in some awesome (yet only known to nerds) death pose of everyone's favorite star trek character! . . . <shifty eyes>


Please, Star Trek is horribly mainstream now, it's useless to obtain nerd cred by mentioning it. EPIC FUCKING FAILURE.
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Re: "Wood Chips" Discussion

Postby bigglesworth » Fri Dec 12, 2008 1:43 pm UTC

You're suggesting there is no nerd cred to be gained by knowing how each character died?

How far gone are you?
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Re: "Wood Chips" Discussion

Postby Kitsusyn » Fri Dec 12, 2008 1:53 pm UTC

bigglesworth wrote:You're suggesting there is no nerd cred to be gained by knowing how each character died?


Well I suppose you're right, you would get nerd cred that. But if you pointed it out to other people, you'd also get douchebag credit.
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Re: "Wood chips" Discussion

Postby halcyon1234 » Fri Dec 12, 2008 2:12 pm UTC

GodShapedBullet wrote:I think I would have liked this comic a bit better if the thing the main character expected bun hair to do was a little more believable, or maybe if it expanded more on the efforts he went to create a faulty sample and the disappointment that would ensue.


He was going to do that next, but ran into a lovely-dovey couple before he could put into motion.

The good news: wood chips from the Mary Celeste are excellent at absorbing blood.
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Re: "Wood Chips" Discussion

Postby cparker15 » Fri Dec 12, 2008 2:18 pm UTC

Lure+Breaker wrote:
'; DROP DATABASE;-- wrote:
Lure+Breaker wrote:Wood chips don't appear in my hallway, but dead ants appear on my pillow. Don't know how.
When I lived with my mom, whenever I would go into the basement, there'd be many dead spiders on the ceiling and walls. But I never saw a live one. And they were always in different places. They weren't sleeping either, you could poke them and nothing would happen. Paralysed with fear from the light coming on maybe?


There are no ant trails or spiders near my bed, or room. They are definitely dead. It's slightly creepy.


Slightly? You're not concerned you have ants hatching in your paranasal sinuses or ears? I'd be totally freaked out right now if I were you.

No, but seriously, if you want to lure them to one spot, you might be able to get them to form a trail that's traceable by placing some drops of Terro around the room.
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Re: "Wood Chips" Discussion

Postby Susy » Fri Dec 12, 2008 2:21 pm UTC

I loved this one!!! xkcd is just like me...pretty often I find myself in similar situations where my imagination starts to create fantastic theories/histories of the simplest things...until of course some bitter common boring person cuts me of...and then I sigh and say :roll: : ok, there are no zombies, my boyfriend won´t be a vampire who will make me crave for his deadly kiss, cannabis is not given in my work during workshops as a way of increasing creativity and the crew of the Mary Celeste was not eaten by the Kraken...

Some where, out there, there´s the perfect guy for me...the one who will let me carry on my sci-fi mind created histories...and will even challenge them...sigh

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Re: "Wood Chips" Discussion

Postby sakeniwefu » Fri Dec 12, 2008 2:22 pm UTC

Lure+Breaker wrote:
'; DROP DATABASE;-- wrote:
Lure+Breaker wrote:Wood chips don't appear in my hallway, but dead ants appear on my pillow. Don't know how.
When I lived with my mom, whenever I would go into the basement, there'd be many dead spiders on the ceiling and walls. But I never saw a live one. And they were always in different places. They weren't sleeping either, you could poke them and nothing would happen. Paralysed with fear from the light coming on maybe?


There are no ant trails or spiders near my bed, or room. They are definitely dead. It's slightly creepy.


I believe this case is obvious. It is the Mafia. Probably they didn't have any horse head handy and decided to go ahead with their blackmailing anyways.

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Re: "Wood Chips" Discussion

Postby Armadillo Al » Fri Dec 12, 2008 2:23 pm UTC

Nemphael wrote:It does? How much wood would a wood chuck chip if a wood chuck would chip wood?

Three Woolerys.
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Re: "Wood Chips" Discussion

Postby fresh » Fri Dec 12, 2008 2:34 pm UTC

I don't get it. anyone care to explain the joke?

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Re: "Wood Chips" Discussion

Postby boxbrown » Fri Dec 12, 2008 2:52 pm UTC

I think the stickfigure chick shoulda had bigger knockers.
Image

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Re: "Wood Chips" Discussion

Postby togo1960 » Fri Dec 12, 2008 2:57 pm UTC

Kitsusyn: I'd heard of the Mary Celeste - though I couldn't have told you much of anything about it. I guess that makes me nobody (which I kinda knew already).
Fresh: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marie_Celeste is article on the ship</a> - kinda funny that the url uses a misspelling of the actual name. The "Later history and wreck" section contains the wood fragment and analysis references.

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Re: "Wood Chips" Discussion

Postby mmcmonster » Fri Dec 12, 2008 2:59 pm UTC

This strip reminds me of the NY Times story. (Warning. You have to register (for free) to access the story.)

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/06/12/garden/12puzzle.html?_r=5&pagewanted=1&ref=garden&oref=slogin%20


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