xkcd

by **r4z0rw0lf** » Mon Jan 19, 2009 5:02 am UTC

http://www.xkcd.com/532/
alt text: Good thing he didn't make it smaller, or it'd need someone three inches tall to play it.
i dont get it! i may be too tired!

by **bananarchy** » Mon Jan 19, 2009 5:03 am UTC

I think I don't get it.

by **FearfulFerret** » Mon Jan 19, 2009 5:03 am UTC

I can think of quite a few ways, many of them somewhat disturbing, in which this comic makes me laugh.

by **madAlric** » Mon Jan 19, 2009 5:03 am UTC

it's wordplay without the words.

pianist.

by **Fuzzy OneThree** » Mon Jan 19, 2009 5:04 am UTC

AH! So horrible!!!

EDIT: I get it now. The joke is done the reversed. Well played, Mr. Munroe.

by **SEE** » Mon Jan 19, 2009 5:05 am UTC

Well, there's a famous joke where the guy asked a genie for something, and got a twelve-inch pianist instead, because the genie misheard.

So . . .

by **SwissArmyAnts** » Mon Jan 19, 2009 5:06 am UTC

You beat me to it.
The moment I got the joke, I rushed to the forums hoping to explain it to everyone, but alas, I was too late.

Well done.

by **Quantum Jack** » Mon Jan 19, 2009 5:07 am UTC

I understand the supposed play on words but i don't get her reaction... why would she be... happy about that

by **Twip** » Mon Jan 19, 2009 5:07 am UTC

There's an old joke that goes:

There is this guy who walks into a bar and notices a man 12 inches tall playing the piano. He asks what it is all about and the barman tells him he'll tell him later.

So he asks the barman for a drink and the barman says,
'Before you get your drink you get to rub the magic beer bottle and make a wish.'

'OK,' says the guy.

He goes to the bottle and rubs it and, boom, out comes a genie, who says,
'You have one wish.'

The man thinks about it and then wishes for a million bucks. A cloud of smoke fills the room and when the smoke clears there are a million ducks crowding the bar.

He tells the barman,
'Hey, I didn't want a million ducks.'

The barman replies, 'You think I wanted a 12-inch pianist?'

by **GodShapedBullet** » Mon Jan 19, 2009 5:08 am UTC

I don't know how much you know about pianist and penis sizes, but what might be small for a pianist is actually quite large for a penis. Human penises, anyway.

by **Ctta0s** » Mon Jan 19, 2009 5:08 am UTC

The joke this joke is punning on (as originally told by my rabbi):

A guy goes into a bar and sits down at the bar and says to the bartender, “If I provide you with the evening’s entertainment for the bar, will you buy me my drinks?” The bartender says, “Sure, let’s see what you got.” So the guy reaches into pocket of his jacket and he takes out a little tiny baby grand piano, and he reaches into his other pocket and he takes out a man in a tuxedo who’s a foot high and a bench. And he puts the bench in front of the little piano, and the man walks across the bar, opens the piano, sits down, and begins playing magnificently. The bartender says, “Wow, that’s great,” and starts pouring the guy his drinks. A little while into the evening, the bartender says to the guy, “Where did you get this?” The guy says, “To be honest with you, I was walking down the beach and my foot hit this brass lamp,” and he reaches into his briefcase and pulls out a brass lamp and puts it on the bar. He says, “I dusted the lamp off and there was a puff of smoke and suddenly a genie was there, and he granted me a wish.” The bartender says, “Wow, can I try it?” The guy says, “Be my guest.” So the bartender rubs the lamp, there’s a puff of smoke, and suddenly there’s a genie there and he says, “Your wish is my command.” The bartender says, “Ok. I want a million bucks.” The genie says, “Done!” and there’s a puff of smoke and suddenly the bar is filled with a million ducks, quacking their heads off. And the bartender says, “What the hell is this? I didn’t ask for a million ducks.” And the guy says, “And I didn’t ask for a twelve-inch pianist.”

EDIT: awww... ninjaed.

by **dennisw** » Mon Jan 19, 2009 5:09 am UTC

The problem with this comic is that the title text gives the lower limit which seems about right for the scale of the drawing. It leaves the larger pianist interpretation too dependent on external information.

by **GbLiNg420** » Mon Jan 19, 2009 5:10 am UTC

You were warned!

by **TheHand** » Mon Jan 19, 2009 5:10 am UTC

Here's to jokes we all know!

I like the flavor of this comic. Hot times!

by **nahtanoj999** » Mon Jan 19, 2009 5:11 am UTC

This is an old joke and the comic doesn't really add anything to it, other than reversing it. Not to mention that the height of some who played that piano would probably be about 4-5 inches.

by **Pit** » Mon Jan 19, 2009 5:13 am UTC

If you follow the joke, you'd realize that the pianist is 12 inches, which is something the girl would be attracted to. Which is why the alt text is what it is.

I mean, they never really specify the size.

by **caseyquicksilver** » Mon Jan 19, 2009 5:14 am UTC

I figured the punchline had something to do with how much "pianist" sounds like "penis", but scratched my head at the concept of a girl suddenly deciding to pursue a guy after he admitted he had a tiny dingy.

The reference to the "twelve inch pianist" makes a lot more sense. Cute reversal on the standard joke, but still came off as silly. In his own words, can't we, as a culture, move on?

by **Twip** » Mon Jan 19, 2009 5:15 am UTC

These sorts of comments illustrate the only thing wrong with XKCD's sort of humor. They attract a crowd that completely nit pick every discrepancy instead of taking it at face value for a laugh or two.

by **Storm** » Mon Jan 19, 2009 5:17 am UTC

Took two readings to make it make sense, but grand once it did.

The typical internet struck again.

by **r4z0rw0lf** » Mon Jan 19, 2009 5:19 am UTC

OH MY GOD. the windows != Cell PHONE.
oh and if i read that properly, they are not talking about pianos. they are talking about something different.

by **Jack21222** » Mon Jan 19, 2009 5:19 am UTC

how is babby formed

by **SocialSceneRepairman** » Mon Jan 19, 2009 5:20 am UTC

Don't you mean a thirty-centimeter pianist...?

by **Twasbrillig** » Mon Jan 19, 2009 5:22 am UTC

To the comic:

[facepalm]Xkcd... How fallen! How changed![/facepalm][/Milton]

I liek pank colurz

by **aion7** » Mon Jan 19, 2009 5:23 am UTC

I must admit, I didn't get it until I saw it explained here. I do like it now that I get it though.

Also, remember when pink was for girls/brave and indie guys instead of quote unquote pimps?

Aaaaaaaand, you have to do way instain mother>

by **SpazzyMcGee** » Mon Jan 19, 2009 5:24 am UTC

This would have been one epic of a comic if I had heard that twelve inch pianist joke beforehand.

by **ScottTFrazer** » Mon Jan 19, 2009 5:25 am UTC

Yeah, count me in the group that immediately thought he asked for "a small pianist" and therefore got a tiny johnson.

Maybe it would have been more obvious if he'd said it was a 1/6 scale model of a piano? or something else to indicate that pianist is supposed to be around 12"

by **sje46** » Mon Jan 19, 2009 5:25 am UTC

No!
*slap*
Bad twelve-year-old!

By the way, I don't understand how people don't get this. It's pretty simple, really.

(Seriously, you folks never heard the 12-inch pianist joke before?)

by **krynd** » Mon Jan 19, 2009 5:28 am UTC

Randall, I thought we all agreed long ago: we were all moving on as a society. Frankly, I'm sick and tired of penis jokes, particularly coming from a comic that was [once] known for witty humor centering around nerdy, or otherwise abnormal, ideas. Penis jokes are the jokes of frat boys and teenagers with their mind perpetually in the gutter, not of adults who should have the capability of determining when a joke isn't funny anymore.

EDIT: apologies to mature "frat boys". Unfortunately, you are too far and few between (thanks to movies like "Animal House" and "American Pie", which every 20-something male seems to adopt as a lifestyle instead of recognizing as a joke) for the reference not to apply. </rant>

by **eleniy86** » Mon Jan 19, 2009 5:28 am UTC

look, this is the proper way to write:
I DON't get it, but THAT chick likes PIANOS?????? THAT DOESN'T make SENSE, THOUGH I COULD HAVE still played THAT; YOU DON'T need A small man

you know when you read quotes or comments and you assign a voice to it? (haha Morgan Freeman :-D

) this gives me the hillbilly-uneducated-barefoot-pregnant-14-year-old-i'm-missing-a-tooth voice

brittney spears if she couldn't sing...*shivers*

by **smar** » Mon Jan 19, 2009 5:29 am UTC

This makes no sense...the scale is all off. Personally I wouldn't get that excited if a guy told me he had a mini corn-dog for a penis.

by **sje46** » Mon Jan 19, 2009 5:30 am UTC

Obvious troll is obvious.

by **Baalthazaq** » Mon Jan 19, 2009 5:34 am UTC

I can't decide if it's funnier with or without further elaboration.....

Maybe he could have mentioned the size of the pianist who'd need to play it?
Maybe he could just mention the size of the Piano.
Mentioning it had a 1:6 ratio would be adequate as that would equate to needing a foot high pianist to play it.

For those of you who can't see why she'd be interested:
It looks like maybe a 1:8 ratio. Requiring a 6' / 8 dude to play it. (9 inches)

by **LSN** » Mon Jan 19, 2009 5:36 am UTC

Oohh, I get it now.

I got the comic's punchline without having heard the original joke before, so I had assumed he asked the genie for "a small pianist," which makes the girl's reaction very weird. Then I came here and read posts for a few minutes, let it sink in, then I finally understood that he did the opposite of what the guy in the original joke asked for.

I'd have gotten it sooner if one of the first two was done.

Also, yay for pianists!

by **ysth** » Mon Jan 19, 2009 5:37 am UTC

I sort of figured out what the joke must be, but in searching only found this one:

http://ysth.info/fortune/?opts=Offensive&search=pianist

by **Ctta0s** » Mon Jan 19, 2009 5:38 am UTC

Umm... wow. I'm going to have to respectfully disagree. I know educated and intelligent people (people well over 40, i.e. not frat boys) who find the 12-inch pianist joke hilarious. Just because there are penis jokes that are only funny because they are violating a taboo doesn't mean that all jokes about penises are inherently immature. Yes, there are immature penis jokes. Are all penis jokes immature? No. The 12-inch pianist tends to be one of the better ones (and I think the XKCD spin-off is a playful turn-around). Don't be so quick to condemn it.

EDIT: P.S. Maybe you've just grown up around people who tell tasteless penis jokes ad nauseam, but try not to let that prejudice you against all such jokes.

by **RuBLed** » Mon Jan 19, 2009 5:38 am UTC

to settle it once and for all (not!)

He made a mini grand piano.
He asked the genie for (presumably 12-inch) pianist to play it.
Instead he got a 12-inch penis and made the girl very excited.

Alt-text - It's a good thing he didn't make the mini grand piano smaller or else he'd be wishing for a 3-inch pianist.

by **GodShapedBullet** » Mon Jan 19, 2009 5:39 am UTC

Honestly, I liked this post.

Maybe more than some other ones.

Maybe even more than... yours?

by **suzi** » Mon Jan 19, 2009 5:42 am UTC

Anyone else pronounce "pianist" so it doesn't sound like "penis" at all?

by **MrsBseBall8** » Mon Jan 19, 2009 5:43 am UTC

It's not size that she's interested in, its how he uses it...

He asked for a pianist to play his miniature piano, instead he got a penis to play his miniature piano.

I can only assume.

by **aging.child** » Mon Jan 19, 2009 5:44 am UTC

I agree. For the sort of people here, the humor comes from the bizarre wordplay and setup of the joke, not from the fact that the punchline has to do with a certain male body part. We are all mature enough to handle that. Except maybe that guy that writes in pink... but he doesn't count.

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