#### "Syndication"

[Code J]

Alt Text: "Complaints should be directed to the xkcd writing staff."

xkcd.com

Note: Now that xkcd is carried by United Features Syndicate, there are going to be a few changes to the comic. Obviously, with the rights signed over, it will no longer be published under Creative Commons, and all previous strips will be retroactively un-CC'd and relicensed under UFS terms. All online content will be protected via proprietary DRM. I also recieved a letter outlining topics and content that would be off-limits in the new xkcd. Prohibited content includes:

- Cultural references that would be lost on the average newspaper reader
- Mathematics above the high-school level
- Obscure scientific subjects
- Overt sexual material
- Objectionable words such as fuck, shit, cunt, ass, tits, cock, scrotum, bitch, Belgium, pussy, or twat
- Same-sex relationships
- Star Wars
- Star Trek (Original Series and Enterprise)
- The home phone numbers of White House employees
- Bacon-based currencies
- Erotic use of flywheels
- Exposés regarding other United Features syndicated characters
- Exposés regarding the personal lives of United Features Syndicate executives, specifically including CEO Kenneth Lowe
- Teledildonics
- Portrayals of Johnny Cash as an Amway distributor
- Any story that ends with "and that's how my penis got the nickname 'grappling hook'."
- Computer-computer cybersex
- Swordfights between white people
- Bitch & Animal
- Sexualization of Mt. Rushmore
- Staplers as mélée weapons
- Road trip buddy comedies starring Tank Girl and William Howard Taft
- Eric S. Raymond performing in Cirque du Soleil
- Hats with buckles
- Licking of nipples atop a moving train

The internet is the past. Newspapers are the future! See you in the funny papers.



This is no joke :-[

[LordRiffington]

I hope to see a comic on every one of these topics in the near future. Especially erotic uses of flywheels.

[mikekearn]

"Objectionable words such as...Belgium..."

Oh man did I lol. I lol'ed very hard there. April 1st is such an awesome day. Shame Randy's not joking =(

[Patashu]

This is my best comic (This is not a joke,it's true)

[Crane]

Ah heheh heh.
Funnies.
I'm just glad I noticed that it was April 1st when I woke up. Shame Randall's not joking =(

[Avenger]

I'm glad that he clarified "LOL." I have never heard that before LOL.

[rgfdxm]

Mêlée, if you're going to insist on the accents.

[rwald]

Does the "Shame Randall's not joking =(" thing come up after any line which contains "April 1st"?
Edit: Apparently not.

[skeptical scientist]

I hope to see a comic on every one of these topics in the near future. Especially erotic uses of flywheels.

Seconded!

[mikekearn]

Especially erotic uses of flywheels.

It's like...I want to know...but I don't want to know...

[Phy]

To hell with erotic use of flywheels, that's almost trivial given some of the, ah, devices I've seen on innernets. What I want to see is staplers used as a melee weapon. It's something I've oft imagined but never put into action!

[pepz]

ok I just registered to the forums for this comic I must say, it's good to see an editor's note on hard internet related stuff like that LOL-business.

loved it, I lolled, I rofled, I hit my head on the bloody chair while falling down laughing great job

too bad it's not a joke

[mikekearn]

To hell with erotic use of flywheels, that's almost trivial given some of the, ah, devices I've seen on innernets. What I want to see is staplers used as a melee weapon. It's something I've oft imagined but never put into action!

Oh, I've seen that. It's quite disturbing actually. A kid in my middle school snapped and attacked another student that way. Hit him several times at least, but it was only in the arm, as the kid being attacked had the foresight to block somewhat, even though he was too stunned to properly defend himself. He was okay, as such a thing only leaves superficial wounds, but seeing someone with several staples sticking out of their arm is creepy. The crazy kid was expelled, and I don't know what happened to him after that.

[Phy]

Sweet Jebus! I hope the attacked kid at least chucked a flywheel at the other guy.

[mikekearn]

Nah, he just sort of cried and clutched at his arm while the teacher ran and grabbed the crazy little bastard and hauled him away.

[Phy]

Aw, shit. This is not the first time my awesome fantasies have been translated to sordid reality. I TOLD YOU, MR. MIYAZAKI, I DIDN'T MEAN FOR NUKING JAPAN TO SUCK SO MUCH, PLEASE DON'T SIC THE FIREFLIES AND GRIEF ON ME AGAIN

[mikekearn]

Can't you have awesome fantasies about winning the lottery? Or it raining bacon or something?

Wait, lemme guess: these fantasies would turn sordid as well? Like you'd win the lottery, but on the way to cashing out, you get hit by a train? Or it rains bacon, but in flood-proportions, killing everyone in waves of crispy deliciousness?

Man, your fantasies are messed up.

[Phy]

IT IS MY FATE AS A HOPELESS REALIST.

Actually, my fantasy of me winning the lottery includes me losing a large chunk of cash to the govamint, and a lesser chunk of cash to my parents and brother because I'm a pretty nice guy about that kind of thing.

[cmacis]

You've sold out on us. I thought you were on our side. Anti-drm. Pro-freedom.
Oh well, I'll go try out the bbc's smell system and get facebook to give someone a real poke. That is worrying since some people are arguing that the poke means that you want to sleep with the pokee.

[cmacis]

Oh, and do we still get a Monday comic tomorrow?

[mikekearn]

cmacis, I just have to say, your sig is really bugging me ever since I noticed it a few minutes ago.

Code: Select all

e^Pi*i+1 != 0
e^(Pi*i)+1 = 0

[cmacis]

Yes, I'll replace it with an image sometime.
The topic "e to the pi minus pi" caused a double take or two.

[Gelsamel]

cmacis, I just have to say, your sig is really bugging me ever since I noticed it a few minutes ago.

Code: Select all

e^Pi*i+1 != 0
e^(Pi*i)+1 = 0

Yeah I noticed that too, but EVERYONE knows what he means. At least.. everyone HERE should know.. :-/

[Captain_Thunder]

First the Reddit censorship bars and the Wired ad, now this...

April Fool's is shaping up to be rather stressful this year, especially considering Randall's not joking about this one

[Kin]

:'( It's not a joke?!


I laughed...Now I cry.

[cmacis]

Is this mod (or greater) editing going on since they like the red text?

[Kin]

but it doesn't say this anywhere on their recent news...?

[kiyyik]

It's the end of an era...*sigh*

Kelly
(who from now on will be the mopey chick moaning about how xkcd was sooo much better before they went analog)

[Kin]

Whyyy!!


....


Besides, money, and living...Of course.

[German Sausage]

ill point out that the link to united features syndicate leads to c137, or, as we say in the industry, FUCK. THAT. SHIT.
as if randy would sell out.

Prohibited content includes:
- Cultural references that would be lost on the average newspaper reader
- Mathematics above the high-school level
- Obscure scientific subjects
...
- Computer-computer cybersex

Guess it's a damn shame he actually is. =(

[cmacis]

Heh, computer-computer cyber. I've thought about the Turing test a bit and thought about an adjustment: making the judge a computer. Or watching two chatbots talk and see if the conversation looks natural.

Anyway, I've played with chatbots (just aiml which is a completely pants way
of solving this problem) and a lot of the writers get erm, parental(?) or at least protective over their bots. Essentially a lot of bots have built in censors. Some even have blocking mechanisms if you try too much and won't give up. So the aiml bots probably won't be doing cyber while you're not looking. Of course, when nobody is looking they are both doing it and not doing it.

[Kin]

Wait a second...I didn't think he'd sell out (Notice the link as the above person said)

But what's up with other people's responses...? I assumed, and was saddened (Hence crying after laughing) because I presumed there was something I didn't know...




*Hope arises*

There is nothing you don't know. Randall's really going UFS

[Mike Graham]

Yeah I noticed that too, but EVERYONE knows what he means. At least.. everyone HERE should know.. :-/

Actually, everyone here should care about correct use of parentheses so that the correct order of operations is retained.

/me also considered correcting the dude, though it turns out he's not enough of an ass. At least not on message boards he doesn't have decent postcounts on.

[Akira]

I totally forgot that it was April first.

I got to "bacon-based currency" before I was like: "wait. it's not even monday. wtf?"

<_< Way to give me a heart attack. You should know I never look at the calender.

But of course, it turns out this isn't an April Fool's joke at all =(

[Hawknc]

ill point out that the link to united features syndicate leads to c137, or, as we say in the industry, FUCK. THAT. SHIT.
as if randy would sell out.

Prohibited content includes:
- Cultural references that would be lost on the average newspaper reader
- Mathematics above the high-school level
- Obscure scientific subjects
...
- Computer-computer cybersex

SHAME RANDALL'S NOT JOKING =(

[A neutral shade of black.]

- Any story that ends with "and that's how my penis got the nickname 'grappling hook'."

So stories that start with "and that's how my penis got the nickname 'grappling hook'" are acceptable, right?

Mêlée, if you're going to insist on the accents.

This man/woman/intelligent creature of indeterminate sex is correct. I only registered because I cannot tolerate the mauling of words drawn from one of my mother tongues.

And not, despite all appearances to the contrary, because of the possibility of stories that start with "and that's how my penis got the nickname 'grappling hook.'"

[Silverbolt]

I think xkcd's fanbase, unlike, say...Maddox's, is the least likely to fall for this sort of joke, given the fact that it's a comic read by predominantly smrt people. And me. The commentary gave me a good chuckle.

Such a tragic shame that Randall is not, in fact, joking. OH THE EMO TRAGEDY!!!1 :'(

Look, it's a pyramid of sorrow:


:(
:(:(
:(:(:(

[Grincement]

Hey come on now, if the prank carries on past 12pm then the prankster becomes the fool...for the UK Randall is now the fool.

[A neutral shade of black.]

Look, it's a pyramid of sorrow:


:(
:(:(
:(:(:(

Question: is it a pyramid if it's lopsided?

More importantly, is it a pyramid if it isn't in three dimensions?

I guess that should have been "Questions," eh?

[Gelsamel]

1:45am in Australia. Time to sleep.